"I used to have this spot on my ceiling at our house in Tamales Bay and when things got really bad I would just stare at it and pretend that I was outside looking up at the stars; that the spot was somehow my special star that I could make a wish on to take me away from it all." Sara was lying on her side facing Nick, her fingers aimlessly playing at the edge of the comforter.
"Do you ever talk to your mom?" Nick wondered how you'd deal with something like Sara had. He couldn't imagine anyone in his family hurting anyone, let alone the one person you had promised to love, honor, and cherish.
"No." Sara's tone was probably a little too forceful and she furrowed her brow as she thought about the last time she'd seen her mom. "I mean, at first I wasn't allowed to see her unless it was a court appointed visit and then when I had the chance to go whenever I liked, I didn't really want to see her...I guess part of me was glad that my dad couldn't hurt her anymore; couldn't ever hurt my brother and I, but part of me was just angry with her because she killed my dad." A flash of embarrassment registered on her face. "That probably sounds strange..."
Nick reached out and touched her hand, smiling as he felt her lace her fingers with his. "No, it doesn't really sound strange. Whether he was a good man or a bad man, he was still your dad...sometimes you can't choose who you love, you just do."
Sara smiled at him for understanding, even if he couldn't truly understand. "When I lived in San Francisco, I tried to go see my mom a few times, but it was too hard...prison has made her even more bitter than she was before, and she resented that I'd ended up on this side of the law." Sara explained to him not quite sure why she felt compelled to tell Nick her story right then.
Nick chuckled a little oddly. "So she would have rather that you become a felon?" He wasn't sure he understood exactly where Sara's mom developed her rationale.
"No." Sara smirked, letting out a yawn. "My parents were hippies...so they sort of had an inherent mistrust for anyone in uniform that represented authority."
"Oh, so they would have gotten along really well with my mom and dad." Nick's sarcasm was thick, but the irony of how opposite their parents were just couldn't escape him.
"I wish my parents were more like yours." There was wistfulness in Sara's voice. "Your parents would have sold everything if it meant that they could just have you back alive and well." There was a part of her that wondered if her parents would have done the same for her; and she was doubtful that they would.
"Well I'm glad that they didn't have to do that...they've worked pretty damn hard and they deserve to enjoy it." Nick felt a lump in his throat at just how much his family meant to him especially since his ordeal. He'd grossly underestimated his value to them and to his friends, and now he often felt overwhelmed with how much people cared about him...well, except for Amy anyway.
"I think they would have found it all pretty hollow if they'd lost you." Sara looked intently into Nick's eyes and she was struck with how different things would have been if they hadn't found him in time. "I'm not sure what I would have done if we'd lost you." She scooted closer to him and slipped an arm across his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder.
Nick wasn't sure what to say, and so he didn't say anything, instead, he began stroking Sara's hair and enjoying just how close she was to him.
"I would have really missed you, Nick." Again there was a wistful tone to her voice and she seemed to melt against him.
"Hey." Nick slid his fingers through her hair, not wanting to see her so sad. His voice was so tender and all he wanted to do was reassure her.
Sara glanced up at him, suddenly aware of just how close to him she was, just how close their faces were. She blinked.
"You don't have to miss me because I'm here...ok?" Nick got the feeling that something had changed between them here in these last few moments and he wasn't really sure whether to test the waters.
Sara considered briefly bolting from his room as she felt as if his eyes could look directly into her soul, but then she realized that he didn't seem to be put off by her proximity, that he seemed to be contemplating something as he looked into her eyes. It was when his fingers caressed her cheek that Sara felt herself moving fractionally towards him.
The feelings that Nick had wanted to explore later came surging towards the surface and he could tell that Sara was experiencing the same thing. He slowly moved towards her and suddenly their lips were softly touching in a tentative kiss. Nick wondered if he had misinterpreted the look in her eye as he felt her pull away and he was about to mutter an apology when he felt her lips pressing against his again.
Sara felt an intense fluttering sensation in her stomach as she felt Nick respond to her kiss, the intensity of it slowly building as his fingers tangled in her hair. As she felt his tongue slip past hers, she felt his free hand coming to rest on her hip.
It wasn't until this moment that Nick realized that he'd wanted Sara for nearly as long as he'd known her; he'd just never thought she'd want him as anything other than his friend but the feel of her kiss told him everything he wanted to know and he found himself gently rolling her onto her back as he continued kissing her.
The weight of his body pressing against hers and the sensation of his knee nudging its way in between her legs caused no alarm bells to go off in Sara's head. Everything in her wanted Nick and she found herself tugging at the t-shirt he'd worn to bed, finally pulling it over his head so she could freely touch the muscular planes of his chest.
As his shirt hit the floor, Nick renewed the kiss between them and slid a hand tentatively up the front of her pajama top, his fingers softly brushing against the bottom swell of her breast before his palm enveloped it tenderly.
Sara let out a soft moan into his mouth as she felt delicious sensations surging through her body at his touch and before long her shirt joined his as the slow sensuous exploration continued.
It wasn't long before they were tumbling over the edge into utter bliss, lying tangled in each others arms underneath Nick's comforter as the pleasure slowly ebbed away. Neither one of them was really thinking about how emotionally charged the atmosphere had been between them the last couple of days, or how that might have played into the timeline of what had just transpired between them, but as they drifted off to sleep, they both felt incredibly sated and satisfied.
It was only much later as Sara woke to find Nick still sleeping peacefully that she wondered if he really felt something for her, or if she'd just become a rebound for him in reaction to being dumped by Amy.