Sara lay there for a long few minutes watching Nick sleep before she decided to get up and clear her head a little. It wasn't that she didn't want what happened between her and Nick to happen, she did. She just wasn't sure that he really wanted it; that he really wanted her beyond that moment. Only a few days before he'd been perfectly happy with Amy and she was sure that he'd never given her even a passing thought in a romantic context before this. Not finding her pajamas anywhere and reasoning that they were probably lost somewhere in Nick's sheets, she plucked the button up shirt he'd worn the day before from where he'd discarded it on the top of his hamper and put it on.
Wandering into his kitchen she decided to make coffee for lack of anything better to do and as it brewed, she glanced around his decidedly masculine home and wondered to herself if she really had a place in his life that was more than just friendship. When he woke up, would he regret sleeping with her?
With a cup of coffee in hand, she walked over to the couch and tucked her legs underneath her as she rested her elbow against the arm. She savored the smell of the hot liquid and set the cup down as she let out a deep sigh and realized that she might have just made things worse for Nick in the long run. After all that he'd been through, she'd really screwed up everything by giving in to the lust that had been running through her mind. Nick had reacted like any normal red-blooded American male who had been through as much crap as he had. She was sure that if he didn't hate her now that he would eventually when he figured out what a mistake he'd made.
The thought that Nick could hate her at all caused her chin to start quivering as a wave of emotion hit her. Tears began to slip down her cheeks as she realized that losing him like this might possibly be worse than if she'd lost him when he'd been buried alive. She curled herself against the couch and tried to muffle her crying.
And that was how Nick found her. He had smelled the aroma of coffee wafting down the hallway and when he'd reached for her across the bed, he'd found that she'd already gotten up. Donning his boxers, he padded barefoot down the hall towards the kitchen planning on sneaking up on her and planting a kiss on her neck as he snaked his arms around her waist. That's when he noticed her sitting in the living room crying. With a furrowed brow, he approached her. "Hey, Sar?"
She glanced up a bit startled, quickly wiping away her tears, not having heard him get up. The last thing she had wanted was for him to see her crying when she wasn't sure how she would explain it. "Hey." There was a waver in her voice despite her best effort to the contrary.
Nick sank onto the couch next to her, reaching over and brushing a tear away with his thumb as he caressed her cheek. "What's wrong?" He sincerely hoped she wasn't having regrets; he certainly wasn't; he was wondering how in the hell he'd been so damn blind for nearly five years to not have seen what was right in front of him.
Sara tried to smile, but ended up crying again. "I'm sorry." She felt like a complete idiot and she was sure she looked like a mess with her hair all mussed up and her face blotchy from crying.
"You ok?" Nick wasn't sure he'd ever really seen her quite like this.
The tenderness in his voice melted Sara's resolve and she looked into his eyes. "Should we have done this?"
Nick felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. To think that he might have royally screwed up one of the best friendships he'd ever had, made him feel sick. "I pushed you to do something you didn't want, didn't I?" Nick's eyes dropped to the floor, his brow deeply furrowed in sadness that he'd not only ruined their friendship, but he'd forced himself on her and she'd given in out of pity for him.
The look on his face caused Sara to reach out and put her hand on his arm. She didn't want him thinking that she was an unwilling participant in what they'd done. "No...I wanted it, Nick; I wanted you." She paused for a moment as she considered how to say what was on her mind. "This is just so fast and you and Amy..." There was a catch in her voice as he looked up and caught her gaze.
Nick reached over and put a finger against her lips, shaking his head. "Listen to me, Sar...Amy aside...I want you...I want to be with you."
Sara looked at him doubtfully as she pulled his hand away. "I don't want to be a rebound, Nick."
"You are not a rebound." Nick was earnest and he wasn't really sure how to convince her that what he was saying was true. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'll admit that if we're measuring time by when Amy dumped me...this is fast. But if we're measuring time by when we first met and how long it's taken me to realize that I compare everyone I date to you...then I'd say we took things pretty damn slow."
Sara's eyes widened a bit as she took in his words. She wanted to believe him; she wanted desperately to believe him. She fingered the buttons on the front of the shirt she had on and furrowed her brow. "So you want to see each other then?" She looked up at him with a vulnerable expression.
Nick nodded and squeezed her hand again. "I do." A seed of doubt nagged at him that maybe she didn't. He knew that they were at a crossroads; they'd already slept with each other and if she didn't want him, then their friendship was probably irreparably damaged.
"Are you sure?" Sara felt nerves churning in her stomach. What if he changed his mind; what if a week from now he decided to take Amy back? She was nothing like all of the women that Nick had dated in the looks department, and she was feeling very unsure of herself.
Nick could sense her apprehension and her need for reassurance and so he scooted over on the couch and pulled her into his arms, letting her bury her head against his shoulder. "I'm sure, Sara, I'm sure." They just sat there like that for a long while holding onto each other, not really saying anything. Finally, Nick pulled away to look at her. "Look, I'll understand if you don't want to be with me, Sar...but I just want you to know that I really want to be with you."
A smile tugged at the corners of Sara's mouth as she began to get the fact that he seemed to be sincere, and she'd never known Nick to not be truthful with her. "I was just so afraid that when you woke up that you'd think you made a mistake..."
Nick shook his head, a smile spreading across his face. "That was most definitely not a mistake." He arched his brows at her suggestively. "But if you think I need to be sure...we could..." He gestured towards the bedroom with a sexy grin.