Author's note:
My apologies for the long wait before this update.
I wrote this chapter but did not like what it had become, deleated it and started over.
I hope you will all like this chapter and I promise to try not to wait so long before updating again.
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Chapter 16 Fight for that which you believe in.
Ginny sat before the mirror brushing her hair, getting ready to receive her parents.
Her reflection smirked back at her as she took in the picture she presented in the togalike dress she was wearing....
The expensive, creamy brown material of the dress made her skin glow, the snake eyes of the necklace revealed in the dip of the neckline seemed to taunt anyone who dared to look at it.
She looked the same and yet.... so different, so alive....
So dangerous.
So very unlike the Ginny who used to look back at her.....
Giving the brush one last flick she stood, feeling ready to face her parents.
To face their disapproval.
Draco had not again asked her to marry him, but she had felt him watching her every day, looking for a sign of weakness, of giving in.
She had shown him none.
She had understood what Deneb had meant; if she were to give in now, she would hand him the keys to her whole being. She would let him in and he would take everything she had and leave her empty, for he would give her naught in return.
He would not even know what he could indead give her, what she could give him.
What they could have together.
She liked having money, liked having control, liked her beauty being defined, liked seeing Draco look at her with heat burning in his eyes.
But she did miss the warmth her family had offered her.
She had known a home, love....
Something Draco had never known.
Something he would not want to know because he did not understand it's value.
All he wanted was the emptiness he thought he had for a heart, to be safe in it's depth.
Yet he could not be completely empty.....
Sometimes it almost felt like he was not really with her, like he was somewhere else, watching her from afar.
Like he was afraid to be near her, as if that would make him weak.
Did he not see she could make him stronger?
Had he ever even felt love, felt the warmth it brought?
Had his mother ever held him in her arms, just held him....
Like a mother should.
Like her own mother had.
Or was emptiness all he had known, all he had felt?
Although it did not seem like much, love was hidden in all those little things, the smiles, the hugs, the kisses, the sweet words in the morning, even in the fights.
Her childhood had been filled with love, with light, with feeling.
Not with emptiness, darkness, fear, loneliness.....
All the things that had entered her life when she had returned from the Chamber of Secrets.
And now it was up to her; she could admit to what she felt and begin to show him her feelings, give him all she had to give.
She could be vulnerable.....
Or she could be who she showed him now; the temptress, the coldhearted woman.
She could either stand by him as he was, accept the emptiness he showed her, the insecurity he gave her....
Or she could show him what could be, what she could offer him.
Either way she had much to loose.
She was both temptress, cold hearted and logic and child, warm and loving.....
Both hot and cold.....
Light and darkness.
Laying her head upon her hand Ginny stared into her own eyes and admitted what she had yet to admit to anyone..... even herself.....
She loved him.
And it scared her more than she cared to admit.
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Her hands cold and clammy, Ginny was standing in the hall next to Draco.
Her parents were arriving and her whole being was in turmoil with anticipation of the event.
What was she supposed to do?
What would they say?
The rattling of a carriage could be heard outside accompanied by the whinnying of horses, then the crunching of the gravel on the drive.
There were her parents, standing in the doorway, their faces grim....
But she did not move, could not move.
The butler took their coats and let them into the diningroom silently.
Ignoring her for the time being.
Smirking, Draco took her hand in his and walked her into the diningroom, seating her in a chair across her parents.
As if on cue, Lucius and Narcissa too entered and sat.
"We are glad you could make it." Lucius greeted her parents formally, then his tone changed, acquiring a leering lilt "Surprised to see your daughter here?"
"No." Arthur Weasley answered curtly, obviously trying to restrain himself. "We knew she was here.... Ronald told us."
Ginny only just managed not to gasp, but still her hand jerked knocking over the crystal glass holding her wine. The red liquid spilled over the expensive tablecloth leaving an ugly red blotch and drawing the attention of all to her.
Draco didn't say anything, just reached for the glass and placed it upright again.
"How are you faring Virginia?" Her father's formal tone of voice had her nearly shivering. "Are you feeling alright?"
Suddenly, anger flooded her. They thought she was under a spell?!
"Yes father, I am well." If they wanted to play it like this, they could get it. "Draco has been very nice to me-"
"NICE?!" Her father exploded, "NICE?!"
Now why had she never seen her father's temper before?
"You do not know what you are saying!" Her mother just sat there, her face very white as she watched her daughter.
"I know very well what I am saying."
Her father opened his mouth to reply, but her mother was ahead of him. "You're coming home with us Ginny."
So, back to Ginny were they?
"No." That was all Draco said, but it halted her parents abruptly.
He nodded at her to continue.
"I don't WANT to come with you. I like it here.... with Draco."
The whole room was silent for what seemed like an eternity.....
Until her father's temper exploded, most likely from strain and desperation at the possible thought of loosing his only daughter to the 'enemy'.
"YOU WILL COME WITH US! You do not get a choice!" Hauling in a deep breath he tried to keep his mounting panic from showing. "We are your family....."
Servants came in serving Consommé a la Crême, but no one noticed.
Lucius Malfoy was leaning back in his chair, an intensely satisfied expression on his leering face. Narcissa just sat there, silent like a statue, not showing any emotion at all. And Draco, he looked mildly amused while her parents both looked angry and panic-stricken.
They obviously cared for her, were afraid they would not be able to make her see what they thought was reason.....
Did they not see she was no longer their 'little girl'?
She could shape her own life, make her own decisions and stand by them....
She just could not leave Draco.
"Virginia." Her father began sternly, "You have to see that this 'environment' is not for you. It is only right you return home with us IMMEDIATLY..... This lapse in your common sense is most likely a cry for attention.... And you've got that now." The kind side of her father that she knew and loved began to shine through bringing tears to her eyes. "Ginny, you don't belong here...." Her father's words hung in the air as Ginny lowered her head.
"I can't daddy-"
He opened his mouth, yet no sound came out. White faced her father stood and stalked from the room, leaving her to her mother.
"Ginny.... Come with me my dear." Her mother held up her hand as she was about to protest again. "Just to the library so we can talk.... undisturbed."
Nodding, Ginny stood and led her mother from the room.
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Pacing up and down Draco's room, now hers too, Ginny mumbled to herself in agitation.....
The conversation with her mother bothered her more than she would care to admit.
Why couldn't anyone just see this was HER life?
And it was her right to live it as she saw fit.
Her mother had seemed to understand some of it though....
Slowly her thoughts drifted back to what was said.... and what was not said....
"Ginny...." Her mother sounded tired, her eyes were pleading as she looked at her daughter. "Please understand your father.... he does not seek to control your life; he merely wants the best for you, for all of us."
Opening her lips Ginny let out a chilly laugh. "The best? How do you know what is the best? You cannot possibly know-"
"Ginny...." Her mother pleaded. "Please. Just explain to me why you choose this of all things to do, him of all boys in school to be with."
Seeing the tears in her mother's eyes, Ginny felt a small ripple of guilt course through her heart. Why was it that while she wanted nothing more than to fall into her mother's safe embrase, all she could do was hurt her?
"I'm sorry mum. I don't know what it is but-"
"You want to defend your man?" Her mother's tone softly cut across hers. "It does not matter who he is, or what he does; you will always defend him...."
"Yes...." Ginny whispered the words before herself. "I can't leave him mum. Draco needs me, needs me more then anything in the whole world.... No one else has ever needed me like this.... When we were growing up I was never really needed.... if I did not do the dishes someone else would, if I could not find something, someone else would. No one ever said 'I need Ginny for that and no one else'. Draco does not say that but I can tell...." Ginny's word trailed off as her mother's hand gently wiped away the tears she had not realized she'd let fall.
"You love him." Molly's tone was pained.
"Yes." Taking her mother's hand in hers Ginny looked up at her pleading. "And it scares me so much.... but this is the way it is. I am his light in the darkness... and I've come to realize that there is nothing else I would rather be."
Looking down at the woman who had once been her little girl, Molly realized that there was nothing that could be done about what had happened. "You do know it will not be easy don't you?"
Ginny smiled, a real smile. "Yes mum. But I think this is worth it. It is like I was born for him.... to be with him. To be his."
Her mother wrapped her arms around her and lay her chin on the top of Ginny's head. "My little girl...." The words were muffled as if a farewel. "How can it be we missed this? When did you grow up so much?" Hugging her mother back Ginny just listened to the words flowing over her head.
"When did you become this beautiful, this tall? When was it that you had your first kiss? So many question.... so much I never knew. Why did you choose him Ginny, why? Did you feel like you were lacking something? Or were you merely lonely?"
Pulling back Ginny looked up at her mother. "I don't know why picked Draco.... or why all of this worked out for me. But I do know that I grew up a while ago-"
"My Ginny...." Her mother stared off into the distance. "It only seems like yesterday you were born.... and now you are all grown up...." Suddenly her eyes bored into Ginny's. "It was his money at first wasn't it?"
"Yes." Ginny looked back at her mother unblinkingly, trying to find a trace of contempt but finding none. "I could no longer take the laughter, the pity of people who thought it sad to be so poor.... I forgot all the things I did have.... but it would still be hard to be poor. How did you ever manage?"
"I had so much to make up for my lack of money." Her mother's smile warmed her. "I had your father and all of you to comfort me, to keep me company, to be strong for."
Tears in her eyes, Ginny whispered. "Was it worth it?"
Her mother's kind eyes seemed to shine like stars as she answered. "Yes. It was. All of it; the lack of money, the fights, the work. It was all worth the joy of loving and being loved in return.... Just remember my dear.... your Draco may not be able to give you all of that.... even if he wants to."
"I will take anything he is willing to give me.... because it is more then I already have."
Her mother nodded and took her hand. "Just promise me you will come home for a few days at the end of the holiday."
"I will. I will have to ask Draco though...."
Her mother nodded and left to find her husband and return home....
Home, where her heart was.
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"Draco?" Ginny cautiously approached the silent form staring out into the nightsky. "Are you alright?"
He did not answer, just raised his hand and beckoned her closer.
She went to him gladly, stood by him and watched the stillness of his face as his eyes searched the darkness for something he could not find.
"My parents left." Her tone was soft.
His only reaction was to take her hand in his, drawing her against his side, hugging her to him like he would never want to let her go.
"Draco?" Her arms around him, Ginny tried to define the expression of his face but failed to see much in the gloom. "What is it?"
For the first time that evening he truly looked into her eyes.
"I did not think you would return...." His admission hung between them. "You seemed so distraught when they were here.... like you wanted them to be proud of you but knew they could not possibly feel that way right then."
Her smile was so soft he could have sworn it stroked him. "I will always return to you."
Her words touched him, then slipped away as he did not know how to hold on to the feeling hidden deep inside of them. A feeling he did not even know she had, a feeling he had no knowledge of. His face turned grim as he turned back to the sky, his eyes darting of the small specks of light in the endless darkness.
"Do you see that constellation Ginny? That is Draco." She only watched the dancing stars for a moment before turning her attention back to him. It seemed like he was glaring at his namesake, as if the constellation had something he wanted.
"I see Draco."
"Do you?" His gaze transferred to her. Clear, as if he was searching for the same specks of light in her.
"You do not want me to go. Yet I must ask you permission to return home for a few days at the end of the holiday." Softly she caressed his cheek as she watched the dark clouds in his eyes gathering. "My parents will be more inclined to let me do as I see fit to do if you grant me this and let me be with them for a while. We'll reunite in school soon after, so you will not have to miss me for too long. Please Draco." She knew he would rather not let her.
Searching her eyes Draco found himself strangely compelled to just lock her in his room and hide her away from the world, from those who could take her from him. Of course he did not want to loose his possension.....
"You may go." The words left his lips before he thought the better of it, the lighting of her eyes being worth the days he would have to do without her. He was however, not dependend on her and would therefor be fine or so he reasoned.
"Draco?"
He had not even noticed she had hugged him but knew it was so because her arms were around him. "Yes, Ginny."
"Why did you ask me to marry you?"
Speechless he stared into her eyes, seeing himself reflected in them many times over.
"Why do you ask me this? Is it not enough that I want to spend the time of marriage with you?"
"Please Draco." Her voice quivered. "I have to know."
Her eyes seemed to become pools that were drawing him in, swallowing him whole.
Forcing him to define his motives.
The pressure in his chest was building, her arms seemed to shackle him to her....
With a curse, Draco broke away from her, stalking from the room.
And all she did was watch, watch his form disappear. She felt the wetness on her cheeks and knew she was crying, again.
Whatever his reasons were, she knew he did not love her....
He might desire her, need her, even like her....
But what she had seen in his eyes was confusion, fear, anger.
She heard someone sob and realized the sound was hers.
Her hands on her throat, she sat on the window sill, her vision slowly becoming more blurry as her sobs grew louder.
He did not love her....
Yet she could not stop loving him.
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End of Chapter 16: The question still stands; will Ginny marry Draco or leave, even though she has promised not to. Have the tests already begun?
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, nor did I write it. Deneb, Alaster and Orion Malfoy are mine though and so is the darkness.... and this story. And the pants I'm wearing and the chair I'm sitting in and..... wait; that's not interesting ;)
I want to thank SatansFlower, Serenade of the Sea, Chas (aka Aricos) and my anonymous beta-reader who wishes to remain anonymous and therefor shall be anonymous for beta-reading!
I also wanna thank Aricos for helping me with some of the poems :)
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I want to thank the following people for reviewing:
Dukerbrown: Bit more patience on the affection LOL, this is after all part romance, part drama. Draco knew about the baby because he can count hihi, he used a simple mathematical calculation. Oh, if you make changes in the story I've read (which has great potential) let me know. That way I won't give you useless advice. If I don't write you, just harras me until I do LOL, because my memory is like a leaking bucket :)
waterfairy-rose: Yeah, I know it's a bit complicated, but it's supposed to be. The Malfoy familyline would benefit by this by begetting children who will know what it is like to love. That way, the past will not repeat itself over and over again. Right now, Draco doesn't know he even feels, so he is being honest about that. It is up to either him or Ginny to change that.... And yeah, this review definately makes up for the last one LOL; Thanks!
RubberDuckii (for chapter 6): LOL, that's one of my favorite bits too.... well, actually the whole story is but I'm the author so if I hate it something's wrong ;) I dunno if I am the first one but I do hope so LOL, thanks for complimenting me! I don't remember if I changed 'extasy' already so I'll have to check again and I think I got it right in chapter 15 LOL. Thanks for telling me :)
Blood57: Hihi, well darkness is mine... really.... And Hannah Abbott.... hmn, well yeah, unless there was someone in that room I did not know about. Most of this had been from Ginny's point of view yeah, but maybe there will be a segment with Draco and his battle (can't say it will be, else I give the story away); you're making perfect sense LOL. Two endings might be a good idea.... Although I guess that would be more like two sequals then.... I'll think on that one, thanks!
Ohepelss Oramtnci: Yes, he knows LOL.... And he'll probably try to use it too...
Bladefanatic: Hihi, she might love him, but that doesn't mean he HAS her ;) It just means she'll fight harder.... Jealousy.... hmn.... thanks for liking it no matter what I do. Sorry for the long wait *bows head* but I just couldn't post what I had before, it just didn't fit with the story.
TomFeltons4ever: Well, you're not showing up on site this time so it's good I have mail LOL. Oh wait you are; you just changed your name to Cursed4Life.... Okay, was confused for a sec LOL. I've put you on the mailing list just as you asked so that should be okay. Thanks for the compliment and yeah, I'm starting to like Deneb a lot too.... she kinda seems to grow on ya. And I think that Draco didn't think of that.... else he'd prohibited names like Ronalda too LOL. And Draco wouldn't.... but Ginny would certainly could name her baby that if she wanted to annoy Draco.... then again, he could have been only joking ;)
karlin88: Thank you! Are you not even tired then?
dragonsprincess: Yes, I think the hermaphrodite suggestion has been officially lost ;) Sorry for being so... well I dunno... double LOL? Just couldn't help myself with the crazy riddles. Draco just counted the days and guessed. And yeah, I thought that since it seem to be mostly men who are not loving, I thought that I should take a woman this time. After all there are women like that too.... Didn't really hurry with the update... sorry.
trinity-unicorn: Well as we see, Ginny's parents are NOT happy hihi, so that won't go down to well if it was too happen ;) I'm writing LOL, I'm writing.... continuing with the next chapter right away so you won't have to wait this long again.
ash44: Aha.... well since I don't know which button I guess we can declare your serious side officially lost LOL. Thanks, great that you love them! And yeah, Alaster is a bit lovey dovey.... from her point of view. Girl Power! I CAN believe you said that hihi. I''l think about the name(s).... I'm still thinking on that and the sequel(s)....
Buttercup19: Thank you! I added you onto the mailinglist and sorry it took so long for me to update *hides* but I hope this chapter makes it worth it....
piper-h-99: And I finaly did.... Is it worth the wait?
blackrose62: She did promise now not to..... If she will break him open... can't tell without giving away the story.....
weagas (for chapter 4): You're right sorry about that weird spelling but I'm dutch and so not completely good at this. And yes, there is a barrier; it's like this ring of flesh.... The only way one does not have one is if one has a birthdefect, ridden horseback all your life or if one wore pledgets (as in tampon) a fair few times. I wasn't suggesting everything was sealed (although that would be possible if there was a semi-permittable membran). I think a lot and aced this topic in school LOL, so yes, I do know what I am talking about. This also explains how one can get a period. But I'll keep writing, thanks for reviewing and thinking on what I write :)
SlytherinAngelGirl: (Now SlytherinWarrior) Thanks! I've put you on the list by the way.... Sad and hilarious LOL, guess you're right. But if she had called her baby Ronald, Draco would at least have had a Ronald listening to him (I think LOL). I didn't update real soon for reasons named above, but I hope it was worth it....
xangelcrisisx: Hihi, yeah, Deneb is a bit like a (very large) cricker I guess :) Not telling what the decision is gonna be though ;)
Meagan Renae: Thank you! I'm always for Draco and Ginny romancing and marrying (unless there's a great reason not to), but I'm not spilling on if that's going to happen here LOL ;)
Ala: Yeah it is sad.... Thanks!
Katelyn: Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad it is liked :)
MissPsychoSexy (for chapter 14): *blushed* Really? Thank you! I'm glad you feel that way, because I was trying to make people 'live' the story, really feeling involved with the characters.... As for the poem.... yeah, I guess that's because I write poems too, even more so then stories :) Hope you were not too anxious for this chapter but here it (finaly) is.
GothicTheatreVampire: Thank you! Well.... crying's really.... awkward.... please don't cry, because there will at least be a sequel.... but I'm glad you like it so much! I can't promise marriage because then I would give the story away.... Thanks again!
Amber: Thanks! And that's okay LOL, I can't make you stay in town ;) Don't worry I'll go vain though LOL, I just thought the chapter this one replaced sucked so there's no danger for that.... I hope LOL. I definately hope not because I think it will drag my stories down and I love to write. Ciao ~Laura
shelleekitten: Thank you! Sorry it took so long, will try not to do that again :)
Rainbow Dreamer: Thank you and sorry it took so long to update.... Great to know it's gripping and believable :)
Jeru: Thanks! And yeah, talking is easier because sometimes a person's tone also gives indication to their meaning. And hihi is laughter, or dutch giggling, what you like ;) I just use it out of habit. And yeah, confusion does draw attention LOL. I know I'm late with this chapter though and appologise ~hugs and kisses, Laura
Spundle: Awww, that poor refresh button.... Is it fixed now? Yup, poor everyone.... Especially poor reviewers for having to wait for my update this long.... I will take penance....
Emmy Hart: Thank you so much! I love getting reviews from people who like what I do (even from people who don't but not to much ;) because sometimes I just really doubt a some of it is likable.
Magic Girl2 (for chapters 11, 13, 14 and 15): LOL, thank you. And with the hihi's? Well, hihi is laughter, or dutch giggling, what ever you like hihi ;) I just use it out of habit instead of LOL or something like that. Now you know what happens next... oh, and I couldn't find your email adress so if you put it in your next review I'll put you on the list.
Viktoria: Or Tortured Lover. Thanks! I couldn't find your emailadress but if you put it in your next review I'll put you on the list. And no, his proposal does not mean much.... I can't say more yet though.... And Christmas vacation is three weeks and I am in the second week now, there's just a lot going on right then.
bLoOdY pRaT: Or Eat At Stanley's. Thank you! And if there would be any Malfoy Draco reminded Deneb of it would be Alaster, but as it is he stands alone, unique in a way she has not revealed. And Lucius does not particularly trust anyone, but Ginny reminds him of Narcissa and he therefor thinks he knows and understands her somewhat.
apple: Thank you! I seem to make a lot of people cry.... but I appreciate it if they do. I will try to update sooner in the future :)
kayla (for chapter 4): Yeah LOL.... would we have it any other way? Thanks for reviewing!
Amber: LOL, thank you! I'm very fond of details hihi. I will try to update sooner LOL!
Strawberrylover: Slow... fast...? Aha LOL, that's smart.... I'm at least going to try to update sooner, but at least this wasn't planned so late ;) Thank you and I'll try!
Tara-Yo: I have some words for that; thanks for the compliment!
smmergurl: The chapter is finaly here LOL and thank you!
Lady Laughs-A-Lot: Woops, sorry about that LOL.... I guess my tardiness even added to the suspense.... but I guess that means you like it hihi. Thanks for reviewing!
Ultrahotpink: Thank you! I am glad to hear the story does not only appeal to standard readers, but also to people who are not necessairy Draco/Ginny fans.
crazy azn angel: Thanks! I can't say though, else I betray the story....
GodessOFmars2: Thank you LOL.... I'm glad you like that, because I don't believe in stories that communicate nothing.... they loose their appeal to me because I cannot move myself to think as them, to really see what they are trying to say, if they say anything at all.....
GothicTheatreVampire (for chapter 2): Thank you! That's great to hear :)
Nirvanagurl1220: I guessed so LOL. Thank you, hope the pain of the kicking is bearable hihi.
Megan: Thank you; I will ;) This time I'll even try to not screw up the story and do it right in one go LOL.....
Princess Aranel: Wow! Thank you *bows back* And I bow to all my reviewers who inspire me :) I put you on the mailing list as you asked.
rukki: Hi! Thank you, and I've put you on the mailing list. And about Draco really being thst cold, that cruel.... Well, all I can say is that right now he believes he is like that and acts upon it, thus creating himself to that fashion.
Aya8: LOL, thanks! Updated a little late, but I hope you'll like the chapter :)
Leena: Thanks you and I finaly update, but the reason is me trying to work right LOL, so I hope to be forgiven :)
Felicity: Yes, love lost in the past..... I was just thinking about Draco and things that could possibly have caused this sort of situation and I came up with this; thanks for finding it real ;) I'll try.
Leuca: Thank you and great to know that 'The story, and plot, mixed with a little sex and a little angst' describes my fanfic :)
Fresh-AngelBabe (for chapter 2): Wow, fav authors list?! Great! Thank you!
Nakala: Sorry LOL, but it seemed like a good place to stop and keep people in suspense.... I think I succeeded then :) Thanks and I will update sooner next time.
Crazy Chick: Hihi, great! If I'm hot, is my story hot too LOL? Thanks for the original review ;)
Moony-Blues: Thank you, I was hoping light and darkness would give it that little extra touch....
Rose: Thank you! Right now my story is liked yeah, but I can never get enough of reactions LOL, because not two are the same; they're all original. Sometimes just reading them inspires me too :)
Tonnie: Thanks and wow; the very first review for me :) I hope you like this chapter too.
Jessa: Wow, glorious and wonderful? Great; I definately feel loved! Thank you for reviewing!
Felicity: Thank you! Are you the same Felicity as the one before? Great to know you like my character Deneb and the story I wove around her :)
Fresh-AngelBabe: Thank you LOL, I just thought I do a little extra for reviewers :)
serasivad: Well, she did promise not to leave him now.... Thank you, I really tried to put feeling into Deneb's story :)
AngelGurl2: Wow, thanks! That's really sweet of you to say :) I'm glad the story means so much to you :)
xi-swt-tearz-ix: Thank you and as you see I did ;)
AngelBrat: Thanks and I added you to the list!
Natnetnot2000: Thanks for the review.... unfortunately I can't tell you yet.... time will tell.....
Kuhio (for chapter 3): Thank you! It's perfectly fine by me how you review, it gives me a nice line-up too :) Hihi and yeah, errors. Well, my only argument there is that I am dutch.... Maybe Ginny is a bit OOC, I dunno, I just reasoned from her experiences with poverty and the Chamber of Secrets, although it might be a bit drastic LOL. As long as you like it though, I don't think it matters a lot..... But as you say you do and the characters come more into character.... I just wanna say thanks for this great review, it gave me something to think about :)
hello (for chapter 9): Thank you.... maybe you have your own great writing style :)
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I
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My apologies for the long wait before this update.
I wrote this chapter but did not like what it had become, deleated it and started over.
I hope you will all like this chapter and I promise to try not to wait so long before updating again.
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Chapter 16 Fight for that which you believe in.
Ginny sat before the mirror brushing her hair, getting ready to receive her parents.
Her reflection smirked back at her as she took in the picture she presented in the togalike dress she was wearing....
The expensive, creamy brown material of the dress made her skin glow, the snake eyes of the necklace revealed in the dip of the neckline seemed to taunt anyone who dared to look at it.
She looked the same and yet.... so different, so alive....
So dangerous.
So very unlike the Ginny who used to look back at her.....
Giving the brush one last flick she stood, feeling ready to face her parents.
To face their disapproval.
Draco had not again asked her to marry him, but she had felt him watching her every day, looking for a sign of weakness, of giving in.
She had shown him none.
She had understood what Deneb had meant; if she were to give in now, she would hand him the keys to her whole being. She would let him in and he would take everything she had and leave her empty, for he would give her naught in return.
He would not even know what he could indead give her, what she could give him.
What they could have together.
She liked having money, liked having control, liked her beauty being defined, liked seeing Draco look at her with heat burning in his eyes.
But she did miss the warmth her family had offered her.
She had known a home, love....
Something Draco had never known.
Something he would not want to know because he did not understand it's value.
All he wanted was the emptiness he thought he had for a heart, to be safe in it's depth.
Yet he could not be completely empty.....
Sometimes it almost felt like he was not really with her, like he was somewhere else, watching her from afar.
Like he was afraid to be near her, as if that would make him weak.
Did he not see she could make him stronger?
Had he ever even felt love, felt the warmth it brought?
Had his mother ever held him in her arms, just held him....
Like a mother should.
Like her own mother had.
Or was emptiness all he had known, all he had felt?
Although it did not seem like much, love was hidden in all those little things, the smiles, the hugs, the kisses, the sweet words in the morning, even in the fights.
Her childhood had been filled with love, with light, with feeling.
Not with emptiness, darkness, fear, loneliness.....
All the things that had entered her life when she had returned from the Chamber of Secrets.
And now it was up to her; she could admit to what she felt and begin to show him her feelings, give him all she had to give.
She could be vulnerable.....
Or she could be who she showed him now; the temptress, the coldhearted woman.
She could either stand by him as he was, accept the emptiness he showed her, the insecurity he gave her....
Or she could show him what could be, what she could offer him.
Either way she had much to loose.
She was both temptress, cold hearted and logic and child, warm and loving.....
Both hot and cold.....
Light and darkness.
Laying her head upon her hand Ginny stared into her own eyes and admitted what she had yet to admit to anyone..... even herself.....
She loved him.
And it scared her more than she cared to admit.
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Her hands cold and clammy, Ginny was standing in the hall next to Draco.
Her parents were arriving and her whole being was in turmoil with anticipation of the event.
What was she supposed to do?
What would they say?
The rattling of a carriage could be heard outside accompanied by the whinnying of horses, then the crunching of the gravel on the drive.
There were her parents, standing in the doorway, their faces grim....
But she did not move, could not move.
The butler took their coats and let them into the diningroom silently.
Ignoring her for the time being.
Smirking, Draco took her hand in his and walked her into the diningroom, seating her in a chair across her parents.
As if on cue, Lucius and Narcissa too entered and sat.
"We are glad you could make it." Lucius greeted her parents formally, then his tone changed, acquiring a leering lilt "Surprised to see your daughter here?"
"No." Arthur Weasley answered curtly, obviously trying to restrain himself. "We knew she was here.... Ronald told us."
Ginny only just managed not to gasp, but still her hand jerked knocking over the crystal glass holding her wine. The red liquid spilled over the expensive tablecloth leaving an ugly red blotch and drawing the attention of all to her.
Draco didn't say anything, just reached for the glass and placed it upright again.
"How are you faring Virginia?" Her father's formal tone of voice had her nearly shivering. "Are you feeling alright?"
Suddenly, anger flooded her. They thought she was under a spell?!
"Yes father, I am well." If they wanted to play it like this, they could get it. "Draco has been very nice to me-"
"NICE?!" Her father exploded, "NICE?!"
Now why had she never seen her father's temper before?
"You do not know what you are saying!" Her mother just sat there, her face very white as she watched her daughter.
"I know very well what I am saying."
Her father opened his mouth to reply, but her mother was ahead of him. "You're coming home with us Ginny."
So, back to Ginny were they?
"No." That was all Draco said, but it halted her parents abruptly.
He nodded at her to continue.
"I don't WANT to come with you. I like it here.... with Draco."
The whole room was silent for what seemed like an eternity.....
Until her father's temper exploded, most likely from strain and desperation at the possible thought of loosing his only daughter to the 'enemy'.
"YOU WILL COME WITH US! You do not get a choice!" Hauling in a deep breath he tried to keep his mounting panic from showing. "We are your family....."
Servants came in serving Consommé a la Crême, but no one noticed.
Lucius Malfoy was leaning back in his chair, an intensely satisfied expression on his leering face. Narcissa just sat there, silent like a statue, not showing any emotion at all. And Draco, he looked mildly amused while her parents both looked angry and panic-stricken.
They obviously cared for her, were afraid they would not be able to make her see what they thought was reason.....
Did they not see she was no longer their 'little girl'?
She could shape her own life, make her own decisions and stand by them....
She just could not leave Draco.
"Virginia." Her father began sternly, "You have to see that this 'environment' is not for you. It is only right you return home with us IMMEDIATLY..... This lapse in your common sense is most likely a cry for attention.... And you've got that now." The kind side of her father that she knew and loved began to shine through bringing tears to her eyes. "Ginny, you don't belong here...." Her father's words hung in the air as Ginny lowered her head.
"I can't daddy-"
He opened his mouth, yet no sound came out. White faced her father stood and stalked from the room, leaving her to her mother.
"Ginny.... Come with me my dear." Her mother held up her hand as she was about to protest again. "Just to the library so we can talk.... undisturbed."
Nodding, Ginny stood and led her mother from the room.
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Pacing up and down Draco's room, now hers too, Ginny mumbled to herself in agitation.....
The conversation with her mother bothered her more than she would care to admit.
Why couldn't anyone just see this was HER life?
And it was her right to live it as she saw fit.
Her mother had seemed to understand some of it though....
Slowly her thoughts drifted back to what was said.... and what was not said....
"Ginny...." Her mother sounded tired, her eyes were pleading as she looked at her daughter. "Please understand your father.... he does not seek to control your life; he merely wants the best for you, for all of us."
Opening her lips Ginny let out a chilly laugh. "The best? How do you know what is the best? You cannot possibly know-"
"Ginny...." Her mother pleaded. "Please. Just explain to me why you choose this of all things to do, him of all boys in school to be with."
Seeing the tears in her mother's eyes, Ginny felt a small ripple of guilt course through her heart. Why was it that while she wanted nothing more than to fall into her mother's safe embrase, all she could do was hurt her?
"I'm sorry mum. I don't know what it is but-"
"You want to defend your man?" Her mother's tone softly cut across hers. "It does not matter who he is, or what he does; you will always defend him...."
"Yes...." Ginny whispered the words before herself. "I can't leave him mum. Draco needs me, needs me more then anything in the whole world.... No one else has ever needed me like this.... When we were growing up I was never really needed.... if I did not do the dishes someone else would, if I could not find something, someone else would. No one ever said 'I need Ginny for that and no one else'. Draco does not say that but I can tell...." Ginny's word trailed off as her mother's hand gently wiped away the tears she had not realized she'd let fall.
"You love him." Molly's tone was pained.
"Yes." Taking her mother's hand in hers Ginny looked up at her pleading. "And it scares me so much.... but this is the way it is. I am his light in the darkness... and I've come to realize that there is nothing else I would rather be."
Looking down at the woman who had once been her little girl, Molly realized that there was nothing that could be done about what had happened. "You do know it will not be easy don't you?"
Ginny smiled, a real smile. "Yes mum. But I think this is worth it. It is like I was born for him.... to be with him. To be his."
Her mother wrapped her arms around her and lay her chin on the top of Ginny's head. "My little girl...." The words were muffled as if a farewel. "How can it be we missed this? When did you grow up so much?" Hugging her mother back Ginny just listened to the words flowing over her head.
"When did you become this beautiful, this tall? When was it that you had your first kiss? So many question.... so much I never knew. Why did you choose him Ginny, why? Did you feel like you were lacking something? Or were you merely lonely?"
Pulling back Ginny looked up at her mother. "I don't know why picked Draco.... or why all of this worked out for me. But I do know that I grew up a while ago-"
"My Ginny...." Her mother stared off into the distance. "It only seems like yesterday you were born.... and now you are all grown up...." Suddenly her eyes bored into Ginny's. "It was his money at first wasn't it?"
"Yes." Ginny looked back at her mother unblinkingly, trying to find a trace of contempt but finding none. "I could no longer take the laughter, the pity of people who thought it sad to be so poor.... I forgot all the things I did have.... but it would still be hard to be poor. How did you ever manage?"
"I had so much to make up for my lack of money." Her mother's smile warmed her. "I had your father and all of you to comfort me, to keep me company, to be strong for."
Tears in her eyes, Ginny whispered. "Was it worth it?"
Her mother's kind eyes seemed to shine like stars as she answered. "Yes. It was. All of it; the lack of money, the fights, the work. It was all worth the joy of loving and being loved in return.... Just remember my dear.... your Draco may not be able to give you all of that.... even if he wants to."
"I will take anything he is willing to give me.... because it is more then I already have."
Her mother nodded and took her hand. "Just promise me you will come home for a few days at the end of the holiday."
"I will. I will have to ask Draco though...."
Her mother nodded and left to find her husband and return home....
Home, where her heart was.
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"Draco?" Ginny cautiously approached the silent form staring out into the nightsky. "Are you alright?"
He did not answer, just raised his hand and beckoned her closer.
She went to him gladly, stood by him and watched the stillness of his face as his eyes searched the darkness for something he could not find.
"My parents left." Her tone was soft.
His only reaction was to take her hand in his, drawing her against his side, hugging her to him like he would never want to let her go.
"Draco?" Her arms around him, Ginny tried to define the expression of his face but failed to see much in the gloom. "What is it?"
For the first time that evening he truly looked into her eyes.
"I did not think you would return...." His admission hung between them. "You seemed so distraught when they were here.... like you wanted them to be proud of you but knew they could not possibly feel that way right then."
Her smile was so soft he could have sworn it stroked him. "I will always return to you."
Her words touched him, then slipped away as he did not know how to hold on to the feeling hidden deep inside of them. A feeling he did not even know she had, a feeling he had no knowledge of. His face turned grim as he turned back to the sky, his eyes darting of the small specks of light in the endless darkness.
"Do you see that constellation Ginny? That is Draco." She only watched the dancing stars for a moment before turning her attention back to him. It seemed like he was glaring at his namesake, as if the constellation had something he wanted.
"I see Draco."
"Do you?" His gaze transferred to her. Clear, as if he was searching for the same specks of light in her.
"You do not want me to go. Yet I must ask you permission to return home for a few days at the end of the holiday." Softly she caressed his cheek as she watched the dark clouds in his eyes gathering. "My parents will be more inclined to let me do as I see fit to do if you grant me this and let me be with them for a while. We'll reunite in school soon after, so you will not have to miss me for too long. Please Draco." She knew he would rather not let her.
Searching her eyes Draco found himself strangely compelled to just lock her in his room and hide her away from the world, from those who could take her from him. Of course he did not want to loose his possension.....
"You may go." The words left his lips before he thought the better of it, the lighting of her eyes being worth the days he would have to do without her. He was however, not dependend on her and would therefor be fine or so he reasoned.
"Draco?"
He had not even noticed she had hugged him but knew it was so because her arms were around him. "Yes, Ginny."
"Why did you ask me to marry you?"
Speechless he stared into her eyes, seeing himself reflected in them many times over.
"Why do you ask me this? Is it not enough that I want to spend the time of marriage with you?"
"Please Draco." Her voice quivered. "I have to know."
Her eyes seemed to become pools that were drawing him in, swallowing him whole.
Forcing him to define his motives.
The pressure in his chest was building, her arms seemed to shackle him to her....
With a curse, Draco broke away from her, stalking from the room.
And all she did was watch, watch his form disappear. She felt the wetness on her cheeks and knew she was crying, again.
Whatever his reasons were, she knew he did not love her....
He might desire her, need her, even like her....
But what she had seen in his eyes was confusion, fear, anger.
She heard someone sob and realized the sound was hers.
Her hands on her throat, she sat on the window sill, her vision slowly becoming more blurry as her sobs grew louder.
He did not love her....
Yet she could not stop loving him.
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End of Chapter 16: The question still stands; will Ginny marry Draco or leave, even though she has promised not to. Have the tests already begun?
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, nor did I write it. Deneb, Alaster and Orion Malfoy are mine though and so is the darkness.... and this story. And the pants I'm wearing and the chair I'm sitting in and..... wait; that's not interesting ;)
I want to thank SatansFlower, Serenade of the Sea, Chas (aka Aricos) and my anonymous beta-reader who wishes to remain anonymous and therefor shall be anonymous for beta-reading!
I also wanna thank Aricos for helping me with some of the poems :)
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I want to thank the following people for reviewing:
Dukerbrown: Bit more patience on the affection LOL, this is after all part romance, part drama. Draco knew about the baby because he can count hihi, he used a simple mathematical calculation. Oh, if you make changes in the story I've read (which has great potential) let me know. That way I won't give you useless advice. If I don't write you, just harras me until I do LOL, because my memory is like a leaking bucket :)
waterfairy-rose: Yeah, I know it's a bit complicated, but it's supposed to be. The Malfoy familyline would benefit by this by begetting children who will know what it is like to love. That way, the past will not repeat itself over and over again. Right now, Draco doesn't know he even feels, so he is being honest about that. It is up to either him or Ginny to change that.... And yeah, this review definately makes up for the last one LOL; Thanks!
RubberDuckii (for chapter 6): LOL, that's one of my favorite bits too.... well, actually the whole story is but I'm the author so if I hate it something's wrong ;) I dunno if I am the first one but I do hope so LOL, thanks for complimenting me! I don't remember if I changed 'extasy' already so I'll have to check again and I think I got it right in chapter 15 LOL. Thanks for telling me :)
Blood57: Hihi, well darkness is mine... really.... And Hannah Abbott.... hmn, well yeah, unless there was someone in that room I did not know about. Most of this had been from Ginny's point of view yeah, but maybe there will be a segment with Draco and his battle (can't say it will be, else I give the story away); you're making perfect sense LOL. Two endings might be a good idea.... Although I guess that would be more like two sequals then.... I'll think on that one, thanks!
Ohepelss Oramtnci: Yes, he knows LOL.... And he'll probably try to use it too...
Bladefanatic: Hihi, she might love him, but that doesn't mean he HAS her ;) It just means she'll fight harder.... Jealousy.... hmn.... thanks for liking it no matter what I do. Sorry for the long wait *bows head* but I just couldn't post what I had before, it just didn't fit with the story.
TomFeltons4ever: Well, you're not showing up on site this time so it's good I have mail LOL. Oh wait you are; you just changed your name to Cursed4Life.... Okay, was confused for a sec LOL. I've put you on the mailing list just as you asked so that should be okay. Thanks for the compliment and yeah, I'm starting to like Deneb a lot too.... she kinda seems to grow on ya. And I think that Draco didn't think of that.... else he'd prohibited names like Ronalda too LOL. And Draco wouldn't.... but Ginny would certainly could name her baby that if she wanted to annoy Draco.... then again, he could have been only joking ;)
karlin88: Thank you! Are you not even tired then?
dragonsprincess: Yes, I think the hermaphrodite suggestion has been officially lost ;) Sorry for being so... well I dunno... double LOL? Just couldn't help myself with the crazy riddles. Draco just counted the days and guessed. And yeah, I thought that since it seem to be mostly men who are not loving, I thought that I should take a woman this time. After all there are women like that too.... Didn't really hurry with the update... sorry.
trinity-unicorn: Well as we see, Ginny's parents are NOT happy hihi, so that won't go down to well if it was too happen ;) I'm writing LOL, I'm writing.... continuing with the next chapter right away so you won't have to wait this long again.
ash44: Aha.... well since I don't know which button I guess we can declare your serious side officially lost LOL. Thanks, great that you love them! And yeah, Alaster is a bit lovey dovey.... from her point of view. Girl Power! I CAN believe you said that hihi. I''l think about the name(s).... I'm still thinking on that and the sequel(s)....
Buttercup19: Thank you! I added you onto the mailinglist and sorry it took so long for me to update *hides* but I hope this chapter makes it worth it....
piper-h-99: And I finaly did.... Is it worth the wait?
blackrose62: She did promise now not to..... If she will break him open... can't tell without giving away the story.....
weagas (for chapter 4): You're right sorry about that weird spelling but I'm dutch and so not completely good at this. And yes, there is a barrier; it's like this ring of flesh.... The only way one does not have one is if one has a birthdefect, ridden horseback all your life or if one wore pledgets (as in tampon) a fair few times. I wasn't suggesting everything was sealed (although that would be possible if there was a semi-permittable membran). I think a lot and aced this topic in school LOL, so yes, I do know what I am talking about. This also explains how one can get a period. But I'll keep writing, thanks for reviewing and thinking on what I write :)
SlytherinAngelGirl: (Now SlytherinWarrior) Thanks! I've put you on the list by the way.... Sad and hilarious LOL, guess you're right. But if she had called her baby Ronald, Draco would at least have had a Ronald listening to him (I think LOL). I didn't update real soon for reasons named above, but I hope it was worth it....
xangelcrisisx: Hihi, yeah, Deneb is a bit like a (very large) cricker I guess :) Not telling what the decision is gonna be though ;)
Meagan Renae: Thank you! I'm always for Draco and Ginny romancing and marrying (unless there's a great reason not to), but I'm not spilling on if that's going to happen here LOL ;)
Ala: Yeah it is sad.... Thanks!
Katelyn: Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad it is liked :)
MissPsychoSexy (for chapter 14): *blushed* Really? Thank you! I'm glad you feel that way, because I was trying to make people 'live' the story, really feeling involved with the characters.... As for the poem.... yeah, I guess that's because I write poems too, even more so then stories :) Hope you were not too anxious for this chapter but here it (finaly) is.
GothicTheatreVampire: Thank you! Well.... crying's really.... awkward.... please don't cry, because there will at least be a sequel.... but I'm glad you like it so much! I can't promise marriage because then I would give the story away.... Thanks again!
Amber: Thanks! And that's okay LOL, I can't make you stay in town ;) Don't worry I'll go vain though LOL, I just thought the chapter this one replaced sucked so there's no danger for that.... I hope LOL. I definately hope not because I think it will drag my stories down and I love to write. Ciao ~Laura
shelleekitten: Thank you! Sorry it took so long, will try not to do that again :)
Rainbow Dreamer: Thank you and sorry it took so long to update.... Great to know it's gripping and believable :)
Jeru: Thanks! And yeah, talking is easier because sometimes a person's tone also gives indication to their meaning. And hihi is laughter, or dutch giggling, what you like ;) I just use it out of habit. And yeah, confusion does draw attention LOL. I know I'm late with this chapter though and appologise ~hugs and kisses, Laura
Spundle: Awww, that poor refresh button.... Is it fixed now? Yup, poor everyone.... Especially poor reviewers for having to wait for my update this long.... I will take penance....
Emmy Hart: Thank you so much! I love getting reviews from people who like what I do (even from people who don't but not to much ;) because sometimes I just really doubt a some of it is likable.
Magic Girl2 (for chapters 11, 13, 14 and 15): LOL, thank you. And with the hihi's? Well, hihi is laughter, or dutch giggling, what ever you like hihi ;) I just use it out of habit instead of LOL or something like that. Now you know what happens next... oh, and I couldn't find your email adress so if you put it in your next review I'll put you on the list.
Viktoria: Or Tortured Lover. Thanks! I couldn't find your emailadress but if you put it in your next review I'll put you on the list. And no, his proposal does not mean much.... I can't say more yet though.... And Christmas vacation is three weeks and I am in the second week now, there's just a lot going on right then.
bLoOdY pRaT: Or Eat At Stanley's. Thank you! And if there would be any Malfoy Draco reminded Deneb of it would be Alaster, but as it is he stands alone, unique in a way she has not revealed. And Lucius does not particularly trust anyone, but Ginny reminds him of Narcissa and he therefor thinks he knows and understands her somewhat.
apple: Thank you! I seem to make a lot of people cry.... but I appreciate it if they do. I will try to update sooner in the future :)
kayla (for chapter 4): Yeah LOL.... would we have it any other way? Thanks for reviewing!
Amber: LOL, thank you! I'm very fond of details hihi. I will try to update sooner LOL!
Strawberrylover: Slow... fast...? Aha LOL, that's smart.... I'm at least going to try to update sooner, but at least this wasn't planned so late ;) Thank you and I'll try!
Tara-Yo: I have some words for that; thanks for the compliment!
smmergurl: The chapter is finaly here LOL and thank you!
Lady Laughs-A-Lot: Woops, sorry about that LOL.... I guess my tardiness even added to the suspense.... but I guess that means you like it hihi. Thanks for reviewing!
Ultrahotpink: Thank you! I am glad to hear the story does not only appeal to standard readers, but also to people who are not necessairy Draco/Ginny fans.
crazy azn angel: Thanks! I can't say though, else I betray the story....
GodessOFmars2: Thank you LOL.... I'm glad you like that, because I don't believe in stories that communicate nothing.... they loose their appeal to me because I cannot move myself to think as them, to really see what they are trying to say, if they say anything at all.....
GothicTheatreVampire (for chapter 2): Thank you! That's great to hear :)
Nirvanagurl1220: I guessed so LOL. Thank you, hope the pain of the kicking is bearable hihi.
Megan: Thank you; I will ;) This time I'll even try to not screw up the story and do it right in one go LOL.....
Princess Aranel: Wow! Thank you *bows back* And I bow to all my reviewers who inspire me :) I put you on the mailing list as you asked.
rukki: Hi! Thank you, and I've put you on the mailing list. And about Draco really being thst cold, that cruel.... Well, all I can say is that right now he believes he is like that and acts upon it, thus creating himself to that fashion.
Aya8: LOL, thanks! Updated a little late, but I hope you'll like the chapter :)
Leena: Thanks you and I finaly update, but the reason is me trying to work right LOL, so I hope to be forgiven :)
Felicity: Yes, love lost in the past..... I was just thinking about Draco and things that could possibly have caused this sort of situation and I came up with this; thanks for finding it real ;) I'll try.
Leuca: Thank you and great to know that 'The story, and plot, mixed with a little sex and a little angst' describes my fanfic :)
Fresh-AngelBabe (for chapter 2): Wow, fav authors list?! Great! Thank you!
Nakala: Sorry LOL, but it seemed like a good place to stop and keep people in suspense.... I think I succeeded then :) Thanks and I will update sooner next time.
Crazy Chick: Hihi, great! If I'm hot, is my story hot too LOL? Thanks for the original review ;)
Moony-Blues: Thank you, I was hoping light and darkness would give it that little extra touch....
Rose: Thank you! Right now my story is liked yeah, but I can never get enough of reactions LOL, because not two are the same; they're all original. Sometimes just reading them inspires me too :)
Tonnie: Thanks and wow; the very first review for me :) I hope you like this chapter too.
Jessa: Wow, glorious and wonderful? Great; I definately feel loved! Thank you for reviewing!
Felicity: Thank you! Are you the same Felicity as the one before? Great to know you like my character Deneb and the story I wove around her :)
Fresh-AngelBabe: Thank you LOL, I just thought I do a little extra for reviewers :)
serasivad: Well, she did promise not to leave him now.... Thank you, I really tried to put feeling into Deneb's story :)
AngelGurl2: Wow, thanks! That's really sweet of you to say :) I'm glad the story means so much to you :)
xi-swt-tearz-ix: Thank you and as you see I did ;)
AngelBrat: Thanks and I added you to the list!
Natnetnot2000: Thanks for the review.... unfortunately I can't tell you yet.... time will tell.....
Kuhio (for chapter 3): Thank you! It's perfectly fine by me how you review, it gives me a nice line-up too :) Hihi and yeah, errors. Well, my only argument there is that I am dutch.... Maybe Ginny is a bit OOC, I dunno, I just reasoned from her experiences with poverty and the Chamber of Secrets, although it might be a bit drastic LOL. As long as you like it though, I don't think it matters a lot..... But as you say you do and the characters come more into character.... I just wanna say thanks for this great review, it gave me something to think about :)
hello (for chapter 9): Thank you.... maybe you have your own great writing style :)
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