We walk. We talk. We look. We are.

Isn't this the foundation of being?

Only to be normal, we would give up everything, but we've already given up haven't we? So much blood and guts and tears all spilled on the ground for anyone who can see to watch, but no one ever could see past our masks. We've learned to hide the truth by being something different than the murderers that we really are. A playboy, a silent man, a child, and a strong person are the easiest parts to hide behind, but who knows what lies beyond the lies that we tell to make it through the day? There is no such thing as the truth, truth is a monster that I cannot face because it cracks and burns and watch as my skin peels!

I cannot take this much longer.

Falling, falling all the birds are dying and does that make you happy because this is what hell feels like all Styrofoam and wrapped in your embrace. Oh glorious leader, we turn to you to try to figure out the mysteries of this universe, but there is really nothing there after all. There never was a speck of care, a speck of longing, a speck of anything because that would require more than you can give to us, all that is saved for the princess in the glass tower never to awaken again.

Dear Sleeping Beauty, would she like you now?

Or would she even be able to look at you in the face with all the blood you've spilled upon the cold pavement for the crows to drink? She would turn in fear because well she wouldn't know the man that you've become. I don't think she'd want to know.

My hands around her throat, and I think I loved her. We made the same mistakes just like lovers always do. Pushing into the mattress, gasping, crying. She needed air! I wasn't ready to let go. Finally her legs went limp and that was that. The girl I'd loved was dead and I'd done it. Death is more intimate than sex and I'd done both.

Skin rotting, baby's dead, how should I feel now? Just a bit off. So I'm thinking about leaving because hey now is there anything better to be doing on a night like this? Cleaned the blood off my clothes, but never off of my soul never quite understood why Clerox isn't for souls, it does indeed clean everything else.

All shiny and white, pure as can be, but I'm rotted inside, clotted blood, dead meat, maggots. We are not white, we are black and bloated with the power we have over life and death nobody can stop us now because we don't care anymore. Life is such a mess when you don't know where you're going or where you've been.

There is so many blank spots where time has rubbed away the memories I promised I would keep forever in a special little box on the mantle. It was covered in red paper hearts, like a cheesy Valentine and hey that's what it really was. You made it for me two years ago before we got lost and things went wrong and now I'm a murderer and you are dead and nothing will stop this train because I want to leave.

I want to leave and pretend I'm not crazy and that I never killed anyone.

I want to pretend that all is right with the world and that I can sleep and not see your face.

Hey, Asuka, are you happy now?