A/N: I don't own YGO. I also do not own the reference of Star Wars. IMPORTANT: I just realized there is another story about Joey and Mai getting married. Hopefully you ought to know by now that my story is completely different. I haven't read that other story but I just wanted to clarify something. Thank you.
The Guard Dog
"What took you so long?" Mai demanded, hands on her hips, eyes of purple fire. "You are five minutes late!"
"Five minutes?" Joey ran his hand through his hair, mentally preparing for the worst.
"What's the matter? Is there an echo?" Mai crossed her arms. "I arrived here extra early to set everything up. With nothing else to do, I had to sit on the sand, with the radio on, letting everyone who passed by believe that I, of all people, was having a picnic with myself! Do you know how humiliating that is?" she finished sharply.
"Ha ha, that's kinda funny, Mai," Joey laughed nervously, "having a picnic with yourself…"
"Why are you late?" Mai nearly shrieked.
"Heh, heh, well you see, there's a funny story…" he began, cringing at Mai's icy look. "Well, um, I was waiting for this guy to finish henning—"
"Hemming," Mai corrected, rolling her eyes.
"Right! Right, uh, and he was taking really long so that's the reason why I'm late," Joey finished, gazing at her with hopeful eyes. "And did I mention that ya look beautiful?" Mai's ego was her weakness.
The blonde woman's eyes softened. "You think so?" she asked, having completely forgotten that he had been late. "I wasn't so sure because this dress doesn't really go with the shoes and the dress that does is at the cleaners and—"
"Trust me, ya look fine." Joey winked at her, knowing his obvious charm would cause her legs to turn to jelly.
"Thank you, Joseph Wheeler." Mai smiled seductively, pretending to fall prey to his silly attempt at trying to appear sophisticated, to appear like some sort of ladies' man.
Now that that was all done and over… "So! I'm hungry!" Joey dropped to his knees and reached inside the picnic basket. "I'm so hungry, I could eat a —YEOW!" Quickly pulling his hand out, Joey stared at the basket in horror, clutching his hand. "What do ya have in there?"
"It's a gift from your sister." Mai knelt down next to him and was about the pull back the small towel when she realized she had better explain everything beforehand, before other things occurred… "It's for both of us actually. Serenity wanted to give us an early wedding gift but know this: it's going to stay in your apartment until we find a house. And you're going to clean up after it! I don't want to give it back nor take it to a shelter because it is adorable, but you, and I mean you" she paused- "will clean any very 'dirty' messes made…"
With a sinking feeling, Joey finally figured out just what the surprise was. Oh sure, he loved dogs but sometimes they got on his nerves whenever he was reminded of the "puppy torture" he'd endured as a teen.
"Here he is!" Mai pulled back the towel and a snarling, growling, tan-colored ball of fur leapt upon the wide-eyed, yelping, Joey Wheeler. "It's a Chihuahua."
"No kidding—argh!" Joey pushed the small puppy off of him and jumped to his feet. The puppy fell to the sand, growled at Joey, and then went over and plopped itself down beside Mai, eyeing Joey with a scrutinizing gaze. "A Chihuahua! But I—"
"No buts! This is a gift from your sister and you'd better keep it!" Mai ordered.
Defeated, Joey sat cross-legged, pouting.
"Humph." Mai flipped her hair back. "Here's your dinner," she declared, indicating a second picnic basket with a mini-cooler.
From grumpy to happy, Joey grabbed for a sandwich and sunk his teeth into it, enjoying the satisfying feeling of feeding his bottomless pit of a stomach.
"I'm going to go freshen up – save some for me, you hear?" Mai said and stood up, her cosmetic bag in hand.
"Mm-mm." CHOMP!
As Mai walked away, heading for the nearest washroom, Joey stole a glance at the Chihuahua who hadn't moved from its spot. 'I wonder if this pup is a boy or a girl?' Joey thought, locking eyes with the dog. "Hey, what are ya? Boy? Girl? I don't want puppies, you know!"
"Rrr," growled the Chihuahua.
"Gotta think of a name for ya." Joey paused from his feed and ran over several names mentally. "Spot, Spike, Corndog, Chilidog…mmm, hotdogs…I like 'em with relish…"
"Rrr."
"On a second though, mustard is better, no – ketchup!"
"Rrr."
"Yep. Can't have a hotdog without catsup."
"Rrr."
"Whoops. Guess the sound of a cat bugs ya, huh?"
"Rrr."
"Say, if you're just a puppy, do you even know cats exist?"
"Rrr…"
"I don't like cats very much. The last one I saw scratched me when I tried to rescue it from a tree…"
"Rrr…"
"Yep, cats are trouble – like Mai! Mai this, Mai that, I can't please her! Why am I marrying her anyway?"
"Rrr!"
"But Mai is beautiful and she does have her good side. I admire her for her determination and independence…yep, she's the one for me."
"Rrr!"
"So I suppose it doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy because – hey, what are ya doing! Get off! Get off! Off! Ah!"
A few minutes later, Mai returned only to find the spot she had reserved for her and Joey's dinner date, empty. "Where is that dork?" she wondered out loud, scanning the beach. There were only a few other people present and they were laughing and pointing… "Oh my – what does he think he's doing?" Mai watched with amusement at the sight of her fiancé jumping around in the surf, clothes no less, with a sandwich in hand, and one Chihuahua puppy barking madly, caring little about getting wet.
Needless to say, Joey returned to his apartment that evening humiliated. His clothes were soaked, too. Not to mention a drenched puppy already making itself comfortable in its doggy bed. Earlier, Serenity had entered the apartment (through having a key of her own) and dropped off some dog supplies.
"So cold…" Joey murmured, dropping his set of keys on the coffee table. "I'm gonna take a nice hot shower."
And so, Joseph Wheeler showered and was suddenly launched into a daydream. Perhaps a daymare, if such a word ever existed…
"I have told you time and time before – don't start fights!" Mai frowned disapprovingly at her teenage son.
"Yeah, finish 'em!" Joey remarked, looking up from watching the news.
"Joey!" Mai snapped, "I give up! Joey, you go to Parent-Teacher interviews tonight with Jason."
"Aw, fine."
"And tell your son to smarten up!"
"My son? How come he's always MY son at these times?"
"Because that's where he gets it from!"
"Uh, yeah, I'm right here, Mom, Dad…" fifteen-year-old Jason mumbled, looking from one parent to the other. "You don't have to talk as if I'm not here."
"Don't get mouthy with me, young man!"
"Mom! I wasn't—"
Sighing, Joey stood up and stalked over to the hall closet. "Come on, Jase," he muttered, calling his son by his nickname. 'We ought to leave now. Mai is steamin'!' Joey thought, still amazed by how much both he and Mai had changed over the years. Many years before, Mai would've been this upset over smudged lipstick…
The drive to Domino High was silent yet comfortable, for Joey and Jason got along fairly well and were quite close, despite Jason having reached the dreaded teenage years.
"Who's your teacher again?" Joey asked, stepping out of the vehicle.
"Ms. Snew."
Joey burst out laughing. "Ms. Snew?"
"Don't laugh, Dad. I got in trouble for laughing at her name on the first day of school, remember? She's really uptight…and she looks a lot like her cat too. She has a lot of pictures of her cat on her desk."
"Thanks for the warning," Joey said dryly, leading the way into the school. He stopped once he was inside, aware of the fact that there were different teachers now and things had changed a bit since he had gone here. "Now, which way?"
There was a long, dragging cough. "Joey? Joey Wheeler?" wheezed an old man. "Is it really you?"
"Uh…yeah, sure!" Joey chuckled, unsure of him. "Yep, it's me alright. How, uh, have ya been?" he asked politely. Who was this guy?
The man waved his cane around. "I been doing fine. I'm still picking up after these young whippersnappers."
"Dad?" Jason whispered into his father's ear. "We have to go now."
"Right! We gotta go now…uh…" Joey racked his brain for the name of this obvious janitor. What was a guy this old still doing in the school? Did he not want to retire?
The man didn't take the hint. "See you, sonny."
"Who was that guy?" Joey asked his son when they were out of earshot.
"Mr. Delton," came the glum reply.
"Delton, Delton — Mr. Delton!" Joey burst out, recognizing the name at last. "He's STILL here!" At Jason's nod, he continued, "Wow, he must be 90 years old by now!"
"Here's Ms. Snew's room." Jason checked the list and opened the door to the classroom where Ms. Snew was sitting.
"And you must be Jason's father." Ms. Snew stood up and offered a hand, a smile upon her face…a smile that gave off the impression that she had sniffed something very unpleasant. "I'm Ms. Snew—"
Joey snickered.
Ms. Snew arched an eyebrow.
Joey coughed several times. "Sorry, I was just, uh, remembering a good joke…" Joey apologized, ignoring the smirk on his son's face.
'Like father, like son,' Ms. Snew thought and nodded shortly. "I see. Please sit down." She indicated two chairs in front of her desk. "I want to discuss your son and his tendency to fight in class."
"I didn't start the last one!" Jason protested.
"Quiet!" Ms. Snew snapped and Jason did as he was told. "As I was saying…Mr. Wheeler, Jason here seems to be incapable of keeping his hands to himself and—" A cell phone rang. "One moment, please," she said and flipped open her phone. "Hello? Is my Fluffy doing okay? Oh no? Mr. Fluffy won't eat his dinner? Put him on the phone, please."
Joey leaned over and whispered, "She named a kid, Fluffy?"
"No," Jason answered, stifling a chuckle, "that's her cat."
"She hired a babysitter for her cat?" Joey turned back to Ms. Snew and the conversation.
"Hello, Fluffy!" Ms. Snew cooed (no pun intended), "How are you? I miss you! Why won't you eat your dinner?" With that she proceeded to make kissing noises. "Good food! Be a dear and eat your food, Fluffy dearest."
Joey groaned. This was gonna be a long one…
Joey snapped out of his daydream and nearly jumped out of his skin. He was still in the shower and by now the water had gone cold. Somehow he had managed soap his body and even shampoo his hair. "Sometimes, I amaze even myself," Joey said to himself and turned off the water, stepping out onto the floor towel. "I suppose I have to feed that dog now."
After drying himself off, Joey slipped into his boxer shorts, a nightshirt, and opened the door, revealing the cute, little Chihuahua.
"Rrr…"
"Oh no…not again!"
"Rrr…"
Joey put one foot onto the carpeting…
"Bark!"
Pulling his foot back fast, Joey glared at the dog. "I think I'll name ya Chewie, as in Chewbacca from Star Wars. Ya sure act like him!"
There was no response.
Joey attempted to leave the bathroom again.
"Rrr!"
"Oh great, do I have to stay in the bathroom all night or what?" he yelled at the dog. "Listen here, I ain't gonna let ya control my life! I'm stepping out of here and I'm going to sleep…no, wait, I have to feed ya, so if ya want food, let me out of here!" he finished furiously.
"Bark!"
"Argh!"
With a sigh, Joey sank to his knees and held his head in his hands. Mai was coming over tomorrow to discuss what kind of food would be served at the wedding reception. He seriously needed some sleep…but this, this dog was making him a prisoner in his own bathroom!
With a sigh, he decided to make the best out of the situation. He didn't really want a dog bite and he was too tired to make a run for it. So without further ado, he lay on his backside and tried to go to sleep…
Drip! Drip!
Darn that leak!
Moaning slightly, Joey opened his eyes and realized immediately that his body was stiff from sleeping in an awkward position. "Aw, man…" he groaned and sat up, staring right into the chocolate-brown eyes of Chewie. "Yee!" Joey jumped to his feet unceremoniously, knocking the dog off his chest. Apparently Chewie found Joey's chest more inviting than his own dog bed.
"Joey, what in the world are you doing? Here, boy, come here!"
"Bark!" The little dog bounced over to Mai Valentine, happy to see her. He then stood by her leg, watching Joey with curiosity.
"What were you doing to the dog?" Mai demanded.
Joey moaned again, rubbing his arm. "Mai…what are ya doing here? What time is it? And it was Chewie's fault!" He pointed at the dog, wishing he had some sort of rolled-up newspaper to exercise his disciplinary skills…
"Chewie?" Mai echoed, petting the dog gently on the head. "Is that what you decided to name him?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah." Joey blinked several times. "So, why are ya here so early?"
"Joey, it's ten in the morning. I told you I was coming over to discuss what kind of food we're going to have at the wedding reception!" Mai responded exasperatedly. "Don't you remember? Honestly, Joey…" She shook her head as she made her way into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
"Hang on, hang on…" Joey turned in the direction of his bedroom. "I'm going to go change!" he called over his shoulder.
"Humph."
Minutes later, Joey emerged from the bedroom, dressed in clean clothes and ready to discuss his favorite subject: food!
Mai pulled out a notepad and scanned the list of items. "I was wondering…do you think we should serve orange juice or fruit punch? What about the rice, the chicken, the—"
"Hotdogs!" Joey declared, adding the food item to his own personal list. "Nothing like a good hotdog."
"Hotdogs?" Mai frowned. "Joey, we have to serve…" She searched for the right word. "We have to serve…sophisticated dishes."
"Oh, and chicken is sophisticated?" Joey retorted rudely.
"When it's arranged the right way!"
"The right way! What do ya want, chicken or a bouquet of flowers?"
"Argh! You are so uncouth!"
"Uncouth? What's that supposed to mean?"
With a heavy sigh, Mai buried her face in her hands. "I can't even begin to imagine how you're going to act in front of my parents."
"Y-your parents?" Joey stuttered. "Your parents are coming over?"
"Yes, they're flying in today from America and want to meet you. Not only that; all of my sisters are coming, too, plus all my relatives…" Mai explained with a scowl.
"Gee, that's a lot of people to fly in," Joey remarked. "That's pretty expensive."
"They're rich. They can handle it and what's more is they want the very best for their oldest daughter," Mai went on, staring out the window.
"Who's their oldest daughter?"
"Me, you dimwit!"
"Well, sorry!" Now it was Joey's turn to bury his face in his hands. "Great. Every guy's worst nightmare…meeting his girlfriend's parents!"
A/N: Dream sequences won't always be in every chapter. Any suggestions for names for the real children?