2 months later
"Everything looks healthy, Lana."
The doctor told her, as he pointed to the sonogram.
Clark and Lana
both trusted this doctor to do all of Lana's check ups during her
pregnancy because he was the same doctor who had dealt with Clark
during after his gun shot wounds, and he already knew Clark's
secrets.
Lana smiled as she watched the screen and saw the
movements of the baby growing inside of her. Lana was 6 months
pregnant, but is went by so quickly.
"So, do you want to know
the sex of the baby" The doctor directed the question to both
Clark and Lana.
"No." Clark said sullenly. Lana felt a
tinge of hurt at his answer. He had been absolutely great throughout
everything, she couldn't ask him to do more for her. But it wasn't
her who she was worried about. Clark showed absolutely no enthusiasm
about this baby. And she knew that his 'no' wasn't because he wanted
to be surprised; it was because he didn't care. Clark was doing
everything possible to not get attached to this baby.
"Yes, I
want to know." Lana said, finding herself in a cross mood all of
the sudden.
"Well" The doctor said, obviously not sure
what to say, since they both had picked different answers.
Clark
sighed"I'll leave and you can tell her."
Lana was
lying down on her back, on the hospital bed, and she grabbed Clark's
arm before he could leave"I want you to know, Clark." She
wanted him to get emotionally involved and bond with this baby, even
if it wasn't born yet.
"Lana, I" Clark was cut
off.
"Please." She convinced him with her eyes.
"Okay."
Was his response. Lana saw him put on his mask again, as he held her
hand, pretending he actually wanted to know"Are we having a
boy or a girl"
"It's a boy." The doctor informed
them.
A smile immediately covered Lana's face. She didn't care
what the sex was, but knowing just made her more excited.
Her
smile quickly faded as she got a glimpse of Clark's jaded expression
that he was trying to hide.
A boy, that was even worse to Clark.
At least if it was a girl he knew that his child couldn't follow
directly in his steps. With a girl, Lana would be more of an
influence, but with a boy, he would take after Clark. Clark repressed
a sigh.
"Okay, I'll let you get dressed and then you are free
to go." The doctor smiled before exiting the room.
Clark
looked down and saw that Lana was crying. Why was she crying?
"Lana,
what's wrong" Clark bent down, so he was eye level with Lana,
who was still lying down.
"Clark..." She cried. She just
couldn't control her emotions during this pregnancy.
"What"
Clark said sympathetically as he rubbed her arm.
"You hate
this baby." She looked away from him.
"No... Lana, I
don't." Clark said honestly. He didn't hate this baby, he hated
the fact that it was his. He felt horrible for making Lana cry, he
was trying to do everything right for her, but he couldn't help the
way he felt.
"Yes you do. You don't want our baby..."
Lana sobbed more.
"No, I swear I don't, I just..." Clark
didn't want to tell her the real reasons why he didn't want their
child. He didn't want to make her worry, and he had been trying to
act like he was excited about this baby, but apparently he was
failing horribly, because Lana saw straight threw his façade.
"Just
what? Because Clark, no matter how much I think about it, I just
can't understand. Yes, I know you wouldn't have chosen to have this
baby, we both wouldn't have, but we can't change that and I don't
know why..." Lana had to top, her sobs interrupting her. Why
couldn't he feel love for his baby?
Clark had no choice but to
tell her the real reasons, because this was obviously weighing down a
lot on Lana"Lana... it's not that I don't want our baby...
it's just... I don't think I should have kids."
"But
why" Lana asked, knowing that it wasn't because he didn't want
kids.
"It'll mess them up. I'll mess them up." Clark
felt guilty for telling her, making her worried again.
"Why
would you think that" Lana asked, seeing that Clark really did
have reasons other than just not wanting a family with her. Although
it scared her, she was glad to know the real truth.
"Look at
how I turned out. With the money and power that he is going to grow
up with... it destroys people Lana." Clark confessed.
"Clark,
you turned out great." Lana didn't see it.
"Maybe, but I
saw what I was going to end up like. It only changed because I saw
the future. I always thought I was turning out fine... but I wasn't.
I only changed because I was practically forced to. Our baby isn't
going to get that warning." Clark explained.
"Maybe not,
but he is going to get you. Clark, I'm still not sure exactly what
happened in your coma, but from what you've told me, you said your
father was the main reason you were..." Lana didn't know what
word to use"bad. You won't be like your father, you've already
proved that. So you can teach your son better than anyone, because
you know exactly what not to do, and how to fix it." Lana tried
to help him, but his expression didn't look like she had convinced
him.
"Lana, I won't be a good father, despite what you think.
Even if I did everything possible, the temptations are just too great
and he will have access so easily..." Clark thought of how easy
it was for him to do things, and cover them up, with all is
money.
"Clark, you will be, trust me." Lana was sure he
would be a great father, if only he accepted it willingly
first.
"Lana, I won't... I really feel like we shouldn't keep
this baby." Clark looked her straight in the eyes, which showed
her he was really doing this out of genuine concern, not just to make
his life easier.
Lana's heart felt like it was being fought over.
Clark, the person she loved more than anyone, was asking her to give
up her baby. But even though he baby hadn't been born yet, her mind
had already been set in the frame of that it was. She had come to
really, truly love her baby already. She could imagine the future,
and her holding her baby boy, and it felt so good. She extremely
wanted this baby. She couldn't give him up to someone she didn't
know; who might not be good to him. It would haunt her every
day.
"Clark..." Lana felt like she was hurting Clark"I
can't... I'm sorry."
"No, don't be sorry." Clark
sighed. Lana would be a great mother, but would that be enough? He
never really had a mother, but she had shaped Lex, and he turned out
alright, but the path he took to get there...
Clark
and Lana walked into the Kent house after Lana's check up.
Clark
and Jonathan had almost completely gotten back to their old
relationship. It was steady, but some of the trust had been lost.
Jonathan had seen how Clark cared for his daughter, and treated
her with love and respect. As much as he wanted to be angry with
Clark forever, he couldn't. That was unfair; to Clark, who seemed to
be trying very had to fix his mistakes; to Lana, who needed the
support of both her men in her life, but most of all it was unfair to
the baby.
So they had both worked out their differences and set
them aside.
"How did it go" Martha smiled. As much as
she was hurt to hear about Lana's pregnancy, she had forgiven her
daughter almost immediately. Now she found herself becoming less
anxious about the baby, and almost excited at the thought of a
grandchild. Plus Lana needed her mother's attitude to be an
optimistic one, because with everything that there was to worry about
being a pregnant teenager, she needed to lose some of that anxiety in
her mother.
Martha worried so much for Lana; she herself had
never given birth, or carried a child before, so she had no idea how
scared or worried she must be, or what if felt like. But Martha knew
how much Lana wanted this baby, now that she had gotten over the
initial shock, and Martha wouldn't have chose this route for her
daughter, but she was happy none the less that Lana was going to get
what Martha never could.
"Everything is normal." Clark
forced a smile.
Both parents picked up on the underlying tension
between the two, but left it alone.
A grin covered Lana's face"We found out the sex of the baby." Lana would be so glad
to tell her mother; it was someone who would truly be excited.
"You
didn't want to be surprised" Jonathan smirked. He knew he would
have.
"Well Clark wanted to, but I don't." Lana had no
desire to be surprised, she wanted to know, to prepare.
"Well"
Martha smiled, wanting to know.
"It's a boy." Lana
flashed a huge smile.
"I'm so happy for you." Martha
hugged her daughter.
"Congratulations." Jonathan gripped
Clark's shoulder. Although Jonathan didn't share the same point of
view as Martha and Lana on the baby, he knew that he had to treat
this as the special event it was, even if the way it had come to be
was not what he wanted.
"Thanks." Clark wanted to get
out of here. This was making him fell even worse. Martha and Jonathan
were more excited about his baby than him. He was a horrible person.
He loved his baby, he truly did, and that is why he wanted to give
him up. To protect him.
"I got to go." Clark kissed Lana
on the forehead, goodbye, before
leaving.
1 ½ months later
"Clark, please come with me. I
want you to be there for this. It will help you." Lana
asked.
"Alright." Clark said, hoping that Lana was
right. Maybe if he went baby shopping with Lana, he would be excited
bout his child. He had been desperately trying to feel peace about
keeping his child, because it was going to happen weather he wanted
it to or not.
"Thank you. Come by in 20 minutes." Lana
felt a little
relieved.
"I
like it, but it won't fit in the baby's room." Lana referred to
the rather large baby crib.
"Are you sure you don't want to
move into the mansion" Clark asked again.
"I'm sure."
Lana declined again. Truth was, she really felt like it would have
been easier, but she needed the support of her parents too, and they
wouldn't give it if she moved in with Clark.
"Alright. But
I'm putting a baby room in the mansion anyways." Clark said,
knowing that his baby would spend night there either way. Lana was
right, going shopping for their baby did make him really want the
baby, and he could picture his son in each crib, playing with each
toy, and it felt good. But he also felt horribly guilty with each
thought. Guilty that he wanted it, even though he knew how things
could end up.
Lana smiled, as she sensed the change in Clark's
attitude. It made her feel a lot better.
1 week later
Lana was lying in between Clark's legs, on the
couch, as they were watching a movie.
Her back was resting against
his chest, and his arms were wrapped around her, so her body shook
every time he laughed
Lana hadn't been paying attention to the
movie, she knew it was a comedy, by Clark's laughter. It felt really
good just to relax, especially with Clark.
Clark's hand absent
mindedly rubbed her swollen stomach, something he did all the time.
Lana loved it, not particularly for the action, but the meaning
behind it. He had only started doing that for the past month, and it
showed he accepted and wanted this baby. Lana had taken note of his
attitude, and she knew that Clark still wasn't fully accepting of it,
but he wanted their son, but it made him feel guilty.
Even though
their was nothing to be worried about, and Lana should have been
relaxing, she couldn't . She felt so strange and uneasy. Lana tried
to brush it off as anxiety towards the birth of the baby, but when
she felt a sharp pain go threw her, she couldn't deny it.
"What
was that" Clark had felt the pulse go through her stomach too,
since his hand was there.
"I don't know..." Lana was
worried.
"Was that a contraction" Clark asked her,
seeing that was what she obviously thought.
"I think so...
but I'm not due for almost another week." Lana was
scared.
"Don't worry, it's only a week Lana." Clark knew
that was perfectly normal for a baby to be born a week early.
But
that was not what Lana was worried about, it was the fact that now
she was going to give birth, and it scared her so much.
"I
should call the doctor." Clark moved Lana over, so he could get
off the
couch.
Lana
sat there, trying to stay clam, and hoping it wasn't a contraction.
Clark was off talking to the doctor. She was so scared of this
birth.
Would it be normal? Would he child be normal?
Clark
hadn't regained his abilities, but he had become strengthened a lot,
to were he could be easily classified as the fastest and strongest
man alive, but no where's near where he used to be. He never regained
his X-ray either. Clark had told her that he never expecting to have
anything more returned to him, that it was probably the lasting
effects to his body that his old nurse, Judy, had said were effects
of the kryptonite serum. Clark knew his body better than her, so she
trusted his judgment.
But would her son have Clark's old
abilities? I mean, naturally he should have half of Clark's DNA, and
so should have at least part of Clark's unique abilities, but when
her and Clark had conceived their son, Clark had been stripped of his
abilities. Would that effect her son?
Lana had thought about it a
lot, and she knew Clark obviously hadn't, because otherwise he would
have never suggested giving their son up for adoption. Maybe he would
be normal...
It wasn't that Lana didn't want her son to be part
Kryptonian, it was just she didn't know how to handle that. She
didn't know if it would hurt her son, if the birth would have
complications, if...
"Okay, the doctor said we should just
wait until the contraction are about 6 minutes apart, and then go to
the hospital." Clark interrupted her thoughts.
"Clark, I
don't even know if that was a contraction." Lana said
nervously.
"Well..." Clark had just assumed. Maybe he
had gotten a little ahead of himself.
Lana let out a little gasp
and started crying.
"What" Clark jumped to help her,
and held her hand.
"My water just broke." Lana said,
dread apparent in her eyes.
TBC...
