Author's note:
My apologies for the long wait before this update. Okay hihi, the very, very long wait before this update. I apologise to everyone for keeping you waiting and hope the next few chapters will make up for it by being great... if I can manage it.... which I hope.
My computer was broken for a while and also;....*sigh*
I'm extremely happy right now..... So I'm dedicating this chapter to the person who also made it impossible for me to write it for a while.....
Andy, this one's for you..... I love you.
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Chapter 17 Turmoil of the Heart and Mind
No clear thought surfaced in Draco's mind as he stalked away from the one person who had ever managed to make him doubt himself, his own lack of emotion, the very essence of his being.....
His possesssion, his toy.....
He knew what she wanted, what she thought, what she desired to touch.
His care, his love, his laughter, his company in friendship.
None of which he could give to her.
All of which she deserved.
But he did not feel, could not feel, would not feel.
She was a possession, nothing more then that, nothing that could touch him, warm him, entice him.... like she had.
*
"And what makes you think you can trust me?"
"I'm willing to trust you and that is the very thing that makes you trustworthy."
*
The words floated into his brain, an echo of the memory they belonged to, a question to which he still desired an answer.
Why had she chosen him.... not another.....
Yes, he was the wealthiest guy in school.... but there were others who could afford her just as well....
She had not asked for that much....
Why him?
Why was it him she had chosen, he who was supposed to be her enemy?
Why did she care for him?
Why did she reach out to him?
Her hands a warm releave to his chilled core....
Why did she look up to him with those soulfull eyes.... asking him to love her.
He knew it....
It was what she wanted: His Love.
Why the one thing he did not possess, the one thing he could not yield to her?
Even if part of him wished he could.
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'You're mine now.'
Ginny could still hear him say it, could still remember the look in Draco's eyes.
A shiver slithered down her spine and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly, ignoring the telltale prickling in her eyes, the straining tension that was pressing in her heart, coiling under her skin.
She had known that this world was all that he would give her, that he had promised her no feeling, no true emotion in their relation. A businessdeal.....
She had known it and ignored the truth known within herself.....
She loved him even then.
Had she always loved him?
How could that be possible....
She had wanted to be with him, but had hidden the truth behind a tale to ease her unruly conscience, a story to appease her longing for a man who could never truly be hers.
Even now he had escaped from her.
He was farther away then he had ever been and yet....
She could still feel his presence in her room, his presence in her heart. She could still smell his scent in the air. Everywhere she looked she could see him, feel him, touch him, every thought she had touched his very being.
Yet he had denied her.
As she knew he would.
He never promised her anything but money, had drawn her into the darkness which she had known would dim her light.
"I tried." Her voice sounded small in the silence of the room, the thought bringing no comfort to the yearning of her mind, body and soul.
A yearning which would not, could not be appeased.
But she could never let this go... never walk away from him.
She would let her light yield to his darkness.
She would let the night rule her life, her love, her being.
"It is better to have loved and lost-" Her voice broke, her vision too blurry to make out any of her surroundings. She imagined two arms wrapping around her, a soothing voice whispering 'shhhh.... shhhh'. She lay her head against the side of the window, the cold air seeping through the cracks a welcome coldness on her burning cheeks.
Imagining Draco comforting her would not bring him back.....
Through the falling tears Ginny saw no more.
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"I can't!" Draco's voice echoed in the empty hallway where he stood watching his ancestors, their faces a silent memory of the legacy of Malfoy. "I won't! I never promised her the world - I never promised her anything but that which she has received. She is asking for too much!"
"Is she now?" A disembodied voice came from the shadows. "And why is that? Is she of all people not worth such a tiny thing? Is she not worth a sacrifice?"
Peering into the dark corner, Draco made out the shape of a woman. "Who are you? What business is this of yours?! Leave me in peace."
A hollow laugh was his only answer as the woman took a step out of the shadows, revealing her cloaked form.
"It is my business because I made it so. Do not ask questions which you do not truly want an answer to. You came here, amongst your ancestors and screamed.... I am your answer. Now, answer me."
Fascinated Draco watched the shadowy female form move a bit more forward, dark eyes tingling in light he had not known those corners to possess.
Was it realy possible that darkness held light?
Shocked, he pulled his mind away from the thought. What was he thinking?!
"I cannot love any woman. Especially not-"
"Ginny." The woman shook her head as she moved forward still more. "Can you not, or will you not love her? And why is it that you came here, told your ancestors of this. They do not hear, they do not care. They only excist in their portrets..... All, except for me. Now tell me boy, what do you want with her? Do you want to break her, is that it? Do you want to bask in the glory of her love, slowly killing her with your indifferance for her feelings? No one can live that way boy.... she won't survive..... Do you think she deserves such a fate? Is that it? Do you want to punish her for what she could have done to you? Will you kill her love with your darkness, untill it has all but swallowed her light?"
"NO!" His voice echoed through the corridor, the flickering light of the candles leaving deeper shadows in the dark. "I-"
He stopped dead as he realised he was calling out to an empty hallway.
The woman was not there - Had she ever truly been there?
Was this his mind playing tricks on him?
Slowly shaking his head he stalked off to the other end of the corridor, through the door in the wall at end of the hall.
Dark, painted eyes followed him as he stalked past her portret, his cape flying behind him as a mirror to the cloud of his anger.
However, he did not see. Not her and not her portret.
Her gaze somber, Deneb folded her hands in front of her.
"Run my boy, run. Soon, there will be no place to run to and you will have to face those thoughts you are shying away from now. Then it will be time to decide what you want more; your own comfort or her safety....."
The flickering light of the candles hissed and died out, leaving the hall in it's hollow shadows of darkness.
"Soon."
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'What if you loose your heart, Ginny?'
Lying on the floor next to the window, Ginny heard the question resound through her head, the echoes creating new waves of the question.
And every time the question echoed it seemed to beat against her as the tide would.
But there is no turning the tide.
The only way is to let it run it's course.
She now knew why she had never been afraid of any peril for her heart; her heart had been already lost. His for the taking.
There was no way she could have saved it.
Even if she could turn back the hands of time she knew she would not.
She did not want to trade a minute of the time she had spend by Draco's side, would not want to loose one caress, one whisper, one sensation of his hands on her skin.
Her heart contracted at the memories....
Would the pain ever lessen?
If she stayed with him, would this numbness she began to feel in the corners of her heart spread out throughout her whole soul, untill there would be nothing left but an empty void of pain and yearning for a love she could not have?
Should she risk it?
Would she dare?
Her hands softly rubbing her stomach Ginny knew without any doubt that she would never be able to leave him.
Ever.
She would never abandon him, or the child growing inside of her.
They were the only things in her life which truly mattered.
Her family had had her for a while and they all loved her, then and now.
But she had grown up, one day, when they were not looking....
And they had forgotten to look at her twice, to truly look at her and see she was no longer a little girl, no longer a child
They were her past.....
And Draco would be the future.
Their future: His, hers and their baby.
A future she would do anything for.... a future that could take so many shapes....
A shadow fell over her, a hand brushed through her hair.
"I'm scared Deneb." Ginny heard her own voice tremble. "I'm so scared."
"I know." The sad, low voice of her companion was full of worry. "But if anyone ever stood a chance to get by in the rubble that now is your life it would be you. I have more faith in you then I ever had in any of your predecessors."
Soothed by the soft tug and release of her hair, Ginny brushed away the remainder of her tears. "If it makes you feel any better, he is scared too."
Ginny just shook her head, the curls brushing over Deneb's hand, tangling with her fingers. "No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I know what I will do and so do you, don't you?"
"You'll stay with him.... as his wife." Deneb's voice sounded hollow, as if she had feared this, but never truly dared to believe it to happen. "You know what can happen don't you?"
"Yes...." Ginny's voice trailed off into the darkness in front of her. "I can loose myself-" Deneb's fingers stroking her cheek, Ginny stared out in front of her, not truly seeing anything. "But maybe I already have lost myself. So what is it that I truly have to loose?"
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'The simple solution to your problem son, would be to simply undo the fact that she is a Weasley - by marrying her.'
But would it be fair to her to marry her?
Draco stared ahead of him, over the acres of field that belonged to his home.
Would she even consent to it?
Violently he shook his head, his eyes strained on the landscape that held the ties to his childhood, the ties to the memories of his early years.
Why had she tried to awaken any emotion in him?
Had he not payed her enough?!
"What does she want from me?!" His tormented scream fell into the silence, flying over the wet grass, the softly moving treebranches in the wind.
His hands deep in the pockets of his robe, Draco began to walk.
Why had she tempted him? Why?
Not that he had been even tempted to give her as she asked.
He simply did not have any emotion.
But what if he did? NO!
There was no place in his world for such trivialities!
But what if he did-
The question burned inside of him as he followed the muddy paths running through the fields surrounding his mansion.... his home.... his memories.
What if a few years from now he would find himself with wife and child....
What if he would actually feel the need to love them.....
What if that was what he needed.....
But why would he?
He had never before felt any real emotion towards anyone other then his parents since he was young.
No one had been able to touch his heart.
No one.
A violent growl escaped Draco's throat as he slammed his fist at a tree, flinching as the dry bark cut into the skin of his hand.
No one but her.
Ginny had made him feel more then anyone else had, she had come closer to touching him then any other he had ever known.
She seemed to have gotten under his skin, into his very being.
Fused with his soul.
But he did not feel!
He had no need of such emotions, no need to give her back any of the love she so freely offered to him.
Savagely Draco shook his head a he started walking around the fields and back to the mansion, his hand tingling from it's impact with the tree.
Not even if she had all the right in the world to expect of him to do so, could he give her his love.
Emotions seemed to be coiling underneath his skin - No, he did not have any emotions.
He felt nothing as he saw his mansion, he was nearly there.
He would feel nothing as he'd see her.
He would feel nothing as he opened this door to the hall of his mansion.
He stalked in, his shoes leaving muddy prints on the fine marble of the floor.
No.... He felt nothing -
A door at the end of the hall stood ajar.
Staring at it, Draco wondered why he did not want to go into that room.....
Why was it he could feel a sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach?
Shaking himself, Draco smirked at the door. He felt nothing-
The scent of blood assailed his nostrils.
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The End of Chapter 17: Hmn... I hope you are all intrigued by the current event in the lifes of Draco and Ginny and that this chapter lives up to expectation. I want to thank everyone for being so patient- or at least trying to be :)
Disclaimer: I own.... this shirt I'm wearing... and Alaster, Orion and Deneb.... And the darkness.... Yes, the darkness is all mine. Ever wonder why it gets dark at night. That my doing! MWAHAHAHA! (Okay.... I have finaly gone insane).
Thanks to SatansFlower, Serenade of the Sea, Chas and my anonymous reviewer who wishes to remain anonymous and therefor is anonymous....
Also thanks to Chas (aka Aricos hihi) for helping me with some of the poems!
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I also want to thank the following people for reviewing chapter 16:
Cursed4Life: Thank you :) I'm afraid this update is even later.... I beg forgiveness. At least now I know for sure who you are :) I myself have been fascinated with astrology for years now hihi, but I only have so friends who were named after archangels LOL.
blackrose62: Thanks for reviewing and yeah, that would be an interesting event hihi and probably a rare occurance within the Malfoyfamily ;)
GothicTheatreVampire: Thanks... and now you can see :)
AngelGurl2: Thank you; I'm glad you find this chapter heartfelt :) LOL, however what Draco does, feels or realises I cannot say yet, I can only say he's up for one fight with himself.
Buttercup19: First of all thank you and sorry for making you wait. Second... hmn, yes, Ginny does deserve some happiness, but for that to happen she's gotta deal with the problems first....
uhh..why would i tell u: I'm glad that this made a lasting impression on you hihi... I must say though, that being shunned, teased and talked about can be much harder on a person then some people consider. Her focus is not the clothes on themselves, but more what they represent; being a respected person who can have what she wants once in a while. And yes, I do admit it's a bit twisterd story, but I take that as a most definate compliment LOL.
Labor Omnia Vincit: Thank you very much and I will most definately try to stay focused on the story even with my happiness and everything... I need to hold onto the darkside of this story too.
Dracomio: I'm sorry, no DG action in this update.... but I can promise some in the next one ;) Thank you for your review; I am very glad you like my story.
Joy4eva: Thank you :) I won't promise anything as to the ending hihi, but I have to admit I am hoping for the very same thing as I am a big Ginny/Draco fan myself.
Keita (for chapter 13): Yes, I know, complex is really, terribly confusing and I should burn in hell for making it happen, but I'm very complex too and therefor beyond help.... Thanks for reviewing too :)
Amber (for chapter 1 and 16): I'm touched that my story moved you so. I do myself believe in the 'there is someone for everybody' and so I'm very confident some day a Draco will sweap you off your feet as my very own has :) (Yes, I am undying romantic, but I simply cannot help myself and really do believe that). I know very well how much this hurts though, because I have gone through it myself too.... I never gave up hope however... I wish you wouldn't either.... Please hang in there.
Lady Narcissa Malfoy: Thank you, thank you, thank you :) I'm glad you like my fic and appologise for the lateness of this chapter *hits herself over the head with her notebook full of stories*
xangelcrisisx: I hope very much for a happy ending and a good action for Ginny too.... It's all a bit sad I have to admit. Sorry for the lateness of the update and thanks for reviewing :)
SickGirl42: Yes, it's sad, I admit it.... I promise to try and keep writing. Thank you!
Jeru: Thank you hihi and yeah, I do play with her a little don't I? Hmn... it seems now poor Draco is up for me to play with LOL. Don't worry about your english, my dad has an accent too and so I've become very good at reading the not so obvious, but your english I can read just fine :) LOL, Original's not my name either and JOJO sounds fun too. The update ain't really soon... but do I have good enough reason and I'll appologise too... Hugzz Laura
Alcicia: LOL! Shhh.... maybe he doesn't know yet ;)
Annibug (for chapter 1): Yeah, they didn't really shy around the topic, but with a topic as that one I figured there would be no sense in it.... who discusses this sort of topic if they doubt it LOL. Thanks for the review!
Erika (For chapter 1): Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story :)
sweetstar3: Thank you very much and from now on I'll try my best to keep indead posted and writing... and to keep this computer up and running LOL
AnniBug (for chapter 15): Thank you, I'm glad I have managed to keep the story out of the dirt, because I actually wanted it to hold out a message too, you know? So it could actually mean something to the people who would read it and who would maybe recognize a friend in it or just a good message.
kitkat: Yeah, he is.... but sometimes it's just not that simple. I've seen it before and sometimes it turns out alright, sometimes it doesn't... what's gonna happen here I ain't saying though hihi, sorry ;)
Annibug (for chapter 16): Hi once more hihi and thanks for the multiple reviews :) I'm undying romatic too LOL, but I can't say anything as to what will happen hihi.... that would spoil it ;)
Alie: Thank you! I'm very glad you like it.
piper-h-99: And I finaly have indead updated... I apologise on my bare knees for the long wait... Sorry, but I am very glad you like it and thanks for reviewing :)
Rizuzu: LOL, HI! Thanks for the memo, cause I wouldn't have deducted who you were all by myself LOL.... Anyway.... finaly a new chapter! The hard work of cornering me in school has been rewarded! LOL! Anyway, thanks for reviewing the story, but most of all for reading and liking it :)
Dorothy: Thank you so much! And no, this is not my only story, I am thinking of posting the first chapter of another story shortly from now.... As to Draco and Ginny.... I really hope so too ;)
ash44: LOL, I have that too when I drink coffee, I like go in hyperdrive or something LOL... you'll need a net to catch me then ;) LOL, I was going to call my little girl Jade Kathleen and I ain't pregnant either LOL. I added you to my yahoo, so if you want to catch me LOL, you can do it there (and possibly also corner me for updates or something LOL). I also added you to my MSN Messenger which I also have hihi. I also happen to like LOTR and I'm proud to be compared to something as great as those books or anything related to something that great :)
Lord-of-all-the-Cheesesticks: Maybe she should leave him... but things don't always go that way. It's like the answer to the question why a girl who has been cheated on gives the guy in question a second chance. In my opinion she should leave him, but sometimes things just work out in a different way ;)
Emmy Hart: LOL thanks and yeah, keeping up with all the reviews is a lot of work, but it's worth it plus I just have the memory of a nosy old lady so to speak hihi ;) I'll try not to worry too, but sometimes I just seem so very very good at it.
Felicity: Great you think my story is romantic as some find it does not have too much romance in it yet hihi. There'll be more romance of course, but it's good to see someone picking up all the little crumbs of romance already spread out.
KiTtY LoVeS dRaCo: LOL, great reply :) And Ginny, the poor girl, is hit with a pillow LOL... once again Draco seems to come out on top.
Grumpy1: LOL, am sugarhigh sometimes too ;) Yeah, Draco deserves a good wake-up kick... like me this morning when I had to go to school and couldn't get out of bed... well, as different wake-up kick then but it feels the same ;)
Fresh-AngelBabe: Thank you, I love it that you thought so :) Kinda formed that after some of the moments I've had with my own mother hihi... but drifting off-topic.
Princess Aranel: Thank you and yeah, I do make 'm short even as I try making them longer. However drawing them out would probably really not do the story much good. I'll try to make the next one longer, okay? :)
Leena: Yes, I have that too. The girlpower part of me wants her to give him a good slap and walk away so he can see how well he does without her, but the romantic part wants them to go all mushy and fall in love ( like me... hmn, girlpower in love hihi). What will happen with her brothers I'm not telling yet though *blink blink*
Argantlyn (for chapter 1): Thanks hihi
Heather: Hihi... now why would Draco come off it yet? LOL Me thinks he won't until he thinks he's good and ready ;) And yes, there will be a part of the story about telling Ginny's parents. I won't promise she'll be doing the telling though ;) Thanks for liking my story :)
fantasy4: Thank you... not really updated soon but I will try to better my life in the future ;)
Ambrosine: Thanks :D I love the fact you think my idea is original... and creepy hihi. Won't say any more ;)
draco's girl: Thanks; hope you keep reading :)
Takhisis (for chapter 15): *blushes* Thank you :) I'll be trying to keep astounding :D
Crazy Phyco I3itch (formerly Babbzy): Late I know; but finaly here. ;)
Strawberrylover: You should have gotten my email hihi :) Hope the chappie lives up to expectations :) Not a soon update, but at least an update finaly hihi
trinity-unicorn: Thank you. And yes, I'm putting an accent on their feelings and thus the confusion that is reigning right now because I believe all relationships are to some degree bases on feeling and feelings mostly also affect our innitial responses.
Dukerbrown: Thanks :) I dunno what's with the authoralerts but I've put you on my mailinglist. If ya want off, just mail me then okies? And if ya wonder, it's good for my story hihi, because then you'll keep reading ;)
Takhisis: *blushes deeper* Wow, thank you :D I'm really flattered :) Maybe I'll be really writing a book in the future :) Anything's possible right?
Jaina( for chapter 8): I updated hihi. Sorry for the lateness ;)
flower-bandit: Well, I wouldn't turn Draco into an Angel LOL, that would just be weird. I won't tell where it's going though hihi; thanks for the compliments :)
immortal goddess: Thank you; I will :D I hope you get to find your love too :)
Donna: LOL, well my email is shamefully late; I'm sorry for that. I'm glad you like my writing, it's truly for people loving my work that I write at all. There's always a message :)
Hannio: Thank you so much :) I think Arthur can understand the lovepart of all this though, but that he's too scared... But that might show in later chapters :) I based this on the fact that a lot of girls are closer to their mother then to their father during that period of their lives because their mothers have more to relate to them. Of course there are always exceptions to that :)
reader (for chapter 1): Thank you! I did... I'm late I know... sorry ;)
Selina Kyle: I will. Thank you :)
Sammy Rettop Malfoy( for chapter 15 and 16): And sorry I didn't update in like 4ever hihi. And in a way I'm glad for it making you cry too :) Can't explain that though; I'm glad you like the story so much.
Moony-Blues: Thank you.... you weren't the only one crying ;) I have to admit to doing that to quite a few readers as well as myself hihi.
Carmilla Zabini (formerly SicDreamsInc; for chapters 1, 2 and 16): *blushing much* Thank you! I love that you love the story :) I know I haven't updated in the longest of times and am very sorry for that... I was just slighty distracted with some romance of my own hihi ;) And yes; there will be more stories, as a matter of fact I'll posting one as soon as I've finished typing the first chapter :D
Kittiquin: I was just slighty distracted with some romance of my own hihi ;) Sorry about not updating; I'll try to be better.
Kate: Yes, I'm continuing my story now. Late, late, late I know.... Thanks :)
dragon tamer3: Not soon... sorry... late... sorry... Forgive me? ;)
GodessOFmars2: Nope, I wasn't really aiming for Beauty and the Beast but if you see a certain resemblance with it, that's right and fine by me LOL. And yup, I am going somewhere but I won't say where yet....
cutina: I did ;) You should be updated now hihi
a.j (for chapter 9): If you read on you'll have that answer hihi ;)
just me (for chapter 1): Thank you! I finaly updated too. I'm also glad to hear my writing is developping itsself as I go along :)
As sweet as sin: I did keep writing; just had a bit of a distraction :) Very sorry; hope you like the new chap :)
Channy: Thank you so much!
Bree: I agree, Draco and Ginny are a great couple! Woohoo! Go us for thinking so :D And no, not pathetic; just healthily interested in the sexual aspects of life (that's what I call it hihi).
moonlight_glory13: Thanks very much for reviewing then ;) I finaly updated too... I hope you won't die so you can keep enjoying my story :) (Selfish reasons I know, but can't help it ya know ;)
Gothic Retaliation: I'm sorry for the torture *ducks head* Hoping you're being slightly satisfied and will do my best to keep you satisfied in the future hihi :P
Sarah: Thank you! Just did so ;)
Takhisis: It was your begging that finaly made me finish :0 Really ;) I'm a bit late after that, but my only defense is that I enjoyed this wonderful, romantic week in Tampa with my boyfriend and was slightly starry eyed when I got back.... However, I've always been a sucker for the word 'please' :) So here it is; the new chappie. Enjoy!
o0OMariaO0o (for chapter 4): Then why did you read 4 chapters?! And may I advice you to write a story of your own so we can compare them. Don't yell at others before you know what you're talking about.
Charlotte: Thanks! When I got other stories I'll send them over to ya ;)
Cleopatra213: Thank you; and here it finaly is :)
Alice28 (for chapter 4): Hmn... yes they are LOL That or they will be ;)
Alice28 (for chapter 16): Yes, sorry about that. I was distracted, but I'll try and keep updating from now on :)
FemmeDraconis (for chapter 5): Thank you... yeah.. the walking over actually made me laugh while writing it hihi
sparrowgurl66: Thanks; and I'm kinda freaky myself so it fits hihi.
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I've been away for a long time....
Hmn, I wonder if y'all still love my rime...
So tell me quick, in your review
And soon, I'll have a chapter; all new.
Please review!
I
I
V
My apologies for the long wait before this update. Okay hihi, the very, very long wait before this update. I apologise to everyone for keeping you waiting and hope the next few chapters will make up for it by being great... if I can manage it.... which I hope.
My computer was broken for a while and also;....*sigh*
I'm extremely happy right now..... So I'm dedicating this chapter to the person who also made it impossible for me to write it for a while.....
Andy, this one's for you..... I love you.
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Chapter 17 Turmoil of the Heart and Mind
No clear thought surfaced in Draco's mind as he stalked away from the one person who had ever managed to make him doubt himself, his own lack of emotion, the very essence of his being.....
His possesssion, his toy.....
He knew what she wanted, what she thought, what she desired to touch.
His care, his love, his laughter, his company in friendship.
None of which he could give to her.
All of which she deserved.
But he did not feel, could not feel, would not feel.
She was a possession, nothing more then that, nothing that could touch him, warm him, entice him.... like she had.
*
"And what makes you think you can trust me?"
"I'm willing to trust you and that is the very thing that makes you trustworthy."
*
The words floated into his brain, an echo of the memory they belonged to, a question to which he still desired an answer.
Why had she chosen him.... not another.....
Yes, he was the wealthiest guy in school.... but there were others who could afford her just as well....
She had not asked for that much....
Why him?
Why was it him she had chosen, he who was supposed to be her enemy?
Why did she care for him?
Why did she reach out to him?
Her hands a warm releave to his chilled core....
Why did she look up to him with those soulfull eyes.... asking him to love her.
He knew it....
It was what she wanted: His Love.
Why the one thing he did not possess, the one thing he could not yield to her?
Even if part of him wished he could.
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'You're mine now.'
Ginny could still hear him say it, could still remember the look in Draco's eyes.
A shiver slithered down her spine and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly, ignoring the telltale prickling in her eyes, the straining tension that was pressing in her heart, coiling under her skin.
She had known that this world was all that he would give her, that he had promised her no feeling, no true emotion in their relation. A businessdeal.....
She had known it and ignored the truth known within herself.....
She loved him even then.
Had she always loved him?
How could that be possible....
She had wanted to be with him, but had hidden the truth behind a tale to ease her unruly conscience, a story to appease her longing for a man who could never truly be hers.
Even now he had escaped from her.
He was farther away then he had ever been and yet....
She could still feel his presence in her room, his presence in her heart. She could still smell his scent in the air. Everywhere she looked she could see him, feel him, touch him, every thought she had touched his very being.
Yet he had denied her.
As she knew he would.
He never promised her anything but money, had drawn her into the darkness which she had known would dim her light.
"I tried." Her voice sounded small in the silence of the room, the thought bringing no comfort to the yearning of her mind, body and soul.
A yearning which would not, could not be appeased.
But she could never let this go... never walk away from him.
She would let her light yield to his darkness.
She would let the night rule her life, her love, her being.
"It is better to have loved and lost-" Her voice broke, her vision too blurry to make out any of her surroundings. She imagined two arms wrapping around her, a soothing voice whispering 'shhhh.... shhhh'. She lay her head against the side of the window, the cold air seeping through the cracks a welcome coldness on her burning cheeks.
Imagining Draco comforting her would not bring him back.....
Through the falling tears Ginny saw no more.
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"I can't!" Draco's voice echoed in the empty hallway where he stood watching his ancestors, their faces a silent memory of the legacy of Malfoy. "I won't! I never promised her the world - I never promised her anything but that which she has received. She is asking for too much!"
"Is she now?" A disembodied voice came from the shadows. "And why is that? Is she of all people not worth such a tiny thing? Is she not worth a sacrifice?"
Peering into the dark corner, Draco made out the shape of a woman. "Who are you? What business is this of yours?! Leave me in peace."
A hollow laugh was his only answer as the woman took a step out of the shadows, revealing her cloaked form.
"It is my business because I made it so. Do not ask questions which you do not truly want an answer to. You came here, amongst your ancestors and screamed.... I am your answer. Now, answer me."
Fascinated Draco watched the shadowy female form move a bit more forward, dark eyes tingling in light he had not known those corners to possess.
Was it realy possible that darkness held light?
Shocked, he pulled his mind away from the thought. What was he thinking?!
"I cannot love any woman. Especially not-"
"Ginny." The woman shook her head as she moved forward still more. "Can you not, or will you not love her? And why is it that you came here, told your ancestors of this. They do not hear, they do not care. They only excist in their portrets..... All, except for me. Now tell me boy, what do you want with her? Do you want to break her, is that it? Do you want to bask in the glory of her love, slowly killing her with your indifferance for her feelings? No one can live that way boy.... she won't survive..... Do you think she deserves such a fate? Is that it? Do you want to punish her for what she could have done to you? Will you kill her love with your darkness, untill it has all but swallowed her light?"
"NO!" His voice echoed through the corridor, the flickering light of the candles leaving deeper shadows in the dark. "I-"
He stopped dead as he realised he was calling out to an empty hallway.
The woman was not there - Had she ever truly been there?
Was this his mind playing tricks on him?
Slowly shaking his head he stalked off to the other end of the corridor, through the door in the wall at end of the hall.
Dark, painted eyes followed him as he stalked past her portret, his cape flying behind him as a mirror to the cloud of his anger.
However, he did not see. Not her and not her portret.
Her gaze somber, Deneb folded her hands in front of her.
"Run my boy, run. Soon, there will be no place to run to and you will have to face those thoughts you are shying away from now. Then it will be time to decide what you want more; your own comfort or her safety....."
The flickering light of the candles hissed and died out, leaving the hall in it's hollow shadows of darkness.
"Soon."
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'What if you loose your heart, Ginny?'
Lying on the floor next to the window, Ginny heard the question resound through her head, the echoes creating new waves of the question.
And every time the question echoed it seemed to beat against her as the tide would.
But there is no turning the tide.
The only way is to let it run it's course.
She now knew why she had never been afraid of any peril for her heart; her heart had been already lost. His for the taking.
There was no way she could have saved it.
Even if she could turn back the hands of time she knew she would not.
She did not want to trade a minute of the time she had spend by Draco's side, would not want to loose one caress, one whisper, one sensation of his hands on her skin.
Her heart contracted at the memories....
Would the pain ever lessen?
If she stayed with him, would this numbness she began to feel in the corners of her heart spread out throughout her whole soul, untill there would be nothing left but an empty void of pain and yearning for a love she could not have?
Should she risk it?
Would she dare?
Her hands softly rubbing her stomach Ginny knew without any doubt that she would never be able to leave him.
Ever.
She would never abandon him, or the child growing inside of her.
They were the only things in her life which truly mattered.
Her family had had her for a while and they all loved her, then and now.
But she had grown up, one day, when they were not looking....
And they had forgotten to look at her twice, to truly look at her and see she was no longer a little girl, no longer a child
They were her past.....
And Draco would be the future.
Their future: His, hers and their baby.
A future she would do anything for.... a future that could take so many shapes....
A shadow fell over her, a hand brushed through her hair.
"I'm scared Deneb." Ginny heard her own voice tremble. "I'm so scared."
"I know." The sad, low voice of her companion was full of worry. "But if anyone ever stood a chance to get by in the rubble that now is your life it would be you. I have more faith in you then I ever had in any of your predecessors."
Soothed by the soft tug and release of her hair, Ginny brushed away the remainder of her tears. "If it makes you feel any better, he is scared too."
Ginny just shook her head, the curls brushing over Deneb's hand, tangling with her fingers. "No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter. I know what I will do and so do you, don't you?"
"You'll stay with him.... as his wife." Deneb's voice sounded hollow, as if she had feared this, but never truly dared to believe it to happen. "You know what can happen don't you?"
"Yes...." Ginny's voice trailed off into the darkness in front of her. "I can loose myself-" Deneb's fingers stroking her cheek, Ginny stared out in front of her, not truly seeing anything. "But maybe I already have lost myself. So what is it that I truly have to loose?"
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'The simple solution to your problem son, would be to simply undo the fact that she is a Weasley - by marrying her.'
But would it be fair to her to marry her?
Draco stared ahead of him, over the acres of field that belonged to his home.
Would she even consent to it?
Violently he shook his head, his eyes strained on the landscape that held the ties to his childhood, the ties to the memories of his early years.
Why had she tried to awaken any emotion in him?
Had he not payed her enough?!
"What does she want from me?!" His tormented scream fell into the silence, flying over the wet grass, the softly moving treebranches in the wind.
His hands deep in the pockets of his robe, Draco began to walk.
Why had she tempted him? Why?
Not that he had been even tempted to give her as she asked.
He simply did not have any emotion.
But what if he did? NO!
There was no place in his world for such trivialities!
But what if he did-
The question burned inside of him as he followed the muddy paths running through the fields surrounding his mansion.... his home.... his memories.
What if a few years from now he would find himself with wife and child....
What if he would actually feel the need to love them.....
What if that was what he needed.....
But why would he?
He had never before felt any real emotion towards anyone other then his parents since he was young.
No one had been able to touch his heart.
No one.
A violent growl escaped Draco's throat as he slammed his fist at a tree, flinching as the dry bark cut into the skin of his hand.
No one but her.
Ginny had made him feel more then anyone else had, she had come closer to touching him then any other he had ever known.
She seemed to have gotten under his skin, into his very being.
Fused with his soul.
But he did not feel!
He had no need of such emotions, no need to give her back any of the love she so freely offered to him.
Savagely Draco shook his head a he started walking around the fields and back to the mansion, his hand tingling from it's impact with the tree.
Not even if she had all the right in the world to expect of him to do so, could he give her his love.
Emotions seemed to be coiling underneath his skin - No, he did not have any emotions.
He felt nothing as he saw his mansion, he was nearly there.
He would feel nothing as he'd see her.
He would feel nothing as he opened this door to the hall of his mansion.
He stalked in, his shoes leaving muddy prints on the fine marble of the floor.
No.... He felt nothing -
A door at the end of the hall stood ajar.
Staring at it, Draco wondered why he did not want to go into that room.....
Why was it he could feel a sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach?
Shaking himself, Draco smirked at the door. He felt nothing-
The scent of blood assailed his nostrils.
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The End of Chapter 17: Hmn... I hope you are all intrigued by the current event in the lifes of Draco and Ginny and that this chapter lives up to expectation. I want to thank everyone for being so patient- or at least trying to be :)
Disclaimer: I own.... this shirt I'm wearing... and Alaster, Orion and Deneb.... And the darkness.... Yes, the darkness is all mine. Ever wonder why it gets dark at night. That my doing! MWAHAHAHA! (Okay.... I have finaly gone insane).
Thanks to SatansFlower, Serenade of the Sea, Chas and my anonymous reviewer who wishes to remain anonymous and therefor is anonymous....
Also thanks to Chas (aka Aricos hihi) for helping me with some of the poems!
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I also want to thank the following people for reviewing chapter 16:
Cursed4Life: Thank you :) I'm afraid this update is even later.... I beg forgiveness. At least now I know for sure who you are :) I myself have been fascinated with astrology for years now hihi, but I only have so friends who were named after archangels LOL.
blackrose62: Thanks for reviewing and yeah, that would be an interesting event hihi and probably a rare occurance within the Malfoyfamily ;)
GothicTheatreVampire: Thanks... and now you can see :)
AngelGurl2: Thank you; I'm glad you find this chapter heartfelt :) LOL, however what Draco does, feels or realises I cannot say yet, I can only say he's up for one fight with himself.
Buttercup19: First of all thank you and sorry for making you wait. Second... hmn, yes, Ginny does deserve some happiness, but for that to happen she's gotta deal with the problems first....
uhh..why would i tell u: I'm glad that this made a lasting impression on you hihi... I must say though, that being shunned, teased and talked about can be much harder on a person then some people consider. Her focus is not the clothes on themselves, but more what they represent; being a respected person who can have what she wants once in a while. And yes, I do admit it's a bit twisterd story, but I take that as a most definate compliment LOL.
Labor Omnia Vincit: Thank you very much and I will most definately try to stay focused on the story even with my happiness and everything... I need to hold onto the darkside of this story too.
Dracomio: I'm sorry, no DG action in this update.... but I can promise some in the next one ;) Thank you for your review; I am very glad you like my story.
Joy4eva: Thank you :) I won't promise anything as to the ending hihi, but I have to admit I am hoping for the very same thing as I am a big Ginny/Draco fan myself.
Keita (for chapter 13): Yes, I know, complex is really, terribly confusing and I should burn in hell for making it happen, but I'm very complex too and therefor beyond help.... Thanks for reviewing too :)
Amber (for chapter 1 and 16): I'm touched that my story moved you so. I do myself believe in the 'there is someone for everybody' and so I'm very confident some day a Draco will sweap you off your feet as my very own has :) (Yes, I am undying romantic, but I simply cannot help myself and really do believe that). I know very well how much this hurts though, because I have gone through it myself too.... I never gave up hope however... I wish you wouldn't either.... Please hang in there.
Lady Narcissa Malfoy: Thank you, thank you, thank you :) I'm glad you like my fic and appologise for the lateness of this chapter *hits herself over the head with her notebook full of stories*
xangelcrisisx: I hope very much for a happy ending and a good action for Ginny too.... It's all a bit sad I have to admit. Sorry for the lateness of the update and thanks for reviewing :)
SickGirl42: Yes, it's sad, I admit it.... I promise to try and keep writing. Thank you!
Jeru: Thank you hihi and yeah, I do play with her a little don't I? Hmn... it seems now poor Draco is up for me to play with LOL. Don't worry about your english, my dad has an accent too and so I've become very good at reading the not so obvious, but your english I can read just fine :) LOL, Original's not my name either and JOJO sounds fun too. The update ain't really soon... but do I have good enough reason and I'll appologise too... Hugzz Laura
Alcicia: LOL! Shhh.... maybe he doesn't know yet ;)
Annibug (for chapter 1): Yeah, they didn't really shy around the topic, but with a topic as that one I figured there would be no sense in it.... who discusses this sort of topic if they doubt it LOL. Thanks for the review!
Erika (For chapter 1): Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed reading my story :)
sweetstar3: Thank you very much and from now on I'll try my best to keep indead posted and writing... and to keep this computer up and running LOL
AnniBug (for chapter 15): Thank you, I'm glad I have managed to keep the story out of the dirt, because I actually wanted it to hold out a message too, you know? So it could actually mean something to the people who would read it and who would maybe recognize a friend in it or just a good message.
kitkat: Yeah, he is.... but sometimes it's just not that simple. I've seen it before and sometimes it turns out alright, sometimes it doesn't... what's gonna happen here I ain't saying though hihi, sorry ;)
Annibug (for chapter 16): Hi once more hihi and thanks for the multiple reviews :) I'm undying romatic too LOL, but I can't say anything as to what will happen hihi.... that would spoil it ;)
Alie: Thank you! I'm very glad you like it.
piper-h-99: And I finaly have indead updated... I apologise on my bare knees for the long wait... Sorry, but I am very glad you like it and thanks for reviewing :)
Rizuzu: LOL, HI! Thanks for the memo, cause I wouldn't have deducted who you were all by myself LOL.... Anyway.... finaly a new chapter! The hard work of cornering me in school has been rewarded! LOL! Anyway, thanks for reviewing the story, but most of all for reading and liking it :)
Dorothy: Thank you so much! And no, this is not my only story, I am thinking of posting the first chapter of another story shortly from now.... As to Draco and Ginny.... I really hope so too ;)
ash44: LOL, I have that too when I drink coffee, I like go in hyperdrive or something LOL... you'll need a net to catch me then ;) LOL, I was going to call my little girl Jade Kathleen and I ain't pregnant either LOL. I added you to my yahoo, so if you want to catch me LOL, you can do it there (and possibly also corner me for updates or something LOL). I also added you to my MSN Messenger which I also have hihi. I also happen to like LOTR and I'm proud to be compared to something as great as those books or anything related to something that great :)
Lord-of-all-the-Cheesesticks: Maybe she should leave him... but things don't always go that way. It's like the answer to the question why a girl who has been cheated on gives the guy in question a second chance. In my opinion she should leave him, but sometimes things just work out in a different way ;)
Emmy Hart: LOL thanks and yeah, keeping up with all the reviews is a lot of work, but it's worth it plus I just have the memory of a nosy old lady so to speak hihi ;) I'll try not to worry too, but sometimes I just seem so very very good at it.
Felicity: Great you think my story is romantic as some find it does not have too much romance in it yet hihi. There'll be more romance of course, but it's good to see someone picking up all the little crumbs of romance already spread out.
KiTtY LoVeS dRaCo: LOL, great reply :) And Ginny, the poor girl, is hit with a pillow LOL... once again Draco seems to come out on top.
Grumpy1: LOL, am sugarhigh sometimes too ;) Yeah, Draco deserves a good wake-up kick... like me this morning when I had to go to school and couldn't get out of bed... well, as different wake-up kick then but it feels the same ;)
Fresh-AngelBabe: Thank you, I love it that you thought so :) Kinda formed that after some of the moments I've had with my own mother hihi... but drifting off-topic.
Princess Aranel: Thank you and yeah, I do make 'm short even as I try making them longer. However drawing them out would probably really not do the story much good. I'll try to make the next one longer, okay? :)
Leena: Yes, I have that too. The girlpower part of me wants her to give him a good slap and walk away so he can see how well he does without her, but the romantic part wants them to go all mushy and fall in love ( like me... hmn, girlpower in love hihi). What will happen with her brothers I'm not telling yet though *blink blink*
Argantlyn (for chapter 1): Thanks hihi
Heather: Hihi... now why would Draco come off it yet? LOL Me thinks he won't until he thinks he's good and ready ;) And yes, there will be a part of the story about telling Ginny's parents. I won't promise she'll be doing the telling though ;) Thanks for liking my story :)
fantasy4: Thank you... not really updated soon but I will try to better my life in the future ;)
Ambrosine: Thanks :D I love the fact you think my idea is original... and creepy hihi. Won't say any more ;)
draco's girl: Thanks; hope you keep reading :)
Takhisis (for chapter 15): *blushes* Thank you :) I'll be trying to keep astounding :D
Crazy Phyco I3itch (formerly Babbzy): Late I know; but finaly here. ;)
Strawberrylover: You should have gotten my email hihi :) Hope the chappie lives up to expectations :) Not a soon update, but at least an update finaly hihi
trinity-unicorn: Thank you. And yes, I'm putting an accent on their feelings and thus the confusion that is reigning right now because I believe all relationships are to some degree bases on feeling and feelings mostly also affect our innitial responses.
Dukerbrown: Thanks :) I dunno what's with the authoralerts but I've put you on my mailinglist. If ya want off, just mail me then okies? And if ya wonder, it's good for my story hihi, because then you'll keep reading ;)
Takhisis: *blushes deeper* Wow, thank you :D I'm really flattered :) Maybe I'll be really writing a book in the future :) Anything's possible right?
Jaina( for chapter 8): I updated hihi. Sorry for the lateness ;)
flower-bandit: Well, I wouldn't turn Draco into an Angel LOL, that would just be weird. I won't tell where it's going though hihi; thanks for the compliments :)
immortal goddess: Thank you; I will :D I hope you get to find your love too :)
Donna: LOL, well my email is shamefully late; I'm sorry for that. I'm glad you like my writing, it's truly for people loving my work that I write at all. There's always a message :)
Hannio: Thank you so much :) I think Arthur can understand the lovepart of all this though, but that he's too scared... But that might show in later chapters :) I based this on the fact that a lot of girls are closer to their mother then to their father during that period of their lives because their mothers have more to relate to them. Of course there are always exceptions to that :)
reader (for chapter 1): Thank you! I did... I'm late I know... sorry ;)
Selina Kyle: I will. Thank you :)
Sammy Rettop Malfoy( for chapter 15 and 16): And sorry I didn't update in like 4ever hihi. And in a way I'm glad for it making you cry too :) Can't explain that though; I'm glad you like the story so much.
Moony-Blues: Thank you.... you weren't the only one crying ;) I have to admit to doing that to quite a few readers as well as myself hihi.
Carmilla Zabini (formerly SicDreamsInc; for chapters 1, 2 and 16): *blushing much* Thank you! I love that you love the story :) I know I haven't updated in the longest of times and am very sorry for that... I was just slighty distracted with some romance of my own hihi ;) And yes; there will be more stories, as a matter of fact I'll posting one as soon as I've finished typing the first chapter :D
Kittiquin: I was just slighty distracted with some romance of my own hihi ;) Sorry about not updating; I'll try to be better.
Kate: Yes, I'm continuing my story now. Late, late, late I know.... Thanks :)
dragon tamer3: Not soon... sorry... late... sorry... Forgive me? ;)
GodessOFmars2: Nope, I wasn't really aiming for Beauty and the Beast but if you see a certain resemblance with it, that's right and fine by me LOL. And yup, I am going somewhere but I won't say where yet....
cutina: I did ;) You should be updated now hihi
a.j (for chapter 9): If you read on you'll have that answer hihi ;)
just me (for chapter 1): Thank you! I finaly updated too. I'm also glad to hear my writing is developping itsself as I go along :)
As sweet as sin: I did keep writing; just had a bit of a distraction :) Very sorry; hope you like the new chap :)
Channy: Thank you so much!
Bree: I agree, Draco and Ginny are a great couple! Woohoo! Go us for thinking so :D And no, not pathetic; just healthily interested in the sexual aspects of life (that's what I call it hihi).
moonlight_glory13: Thanks very much for reviewing then ;) I finaly updated too... I hope you won't die so you can keep enjoying my story :) (Selfish reasons I know, but can't help it ya know ;)
Gothic Retaliation: I'm sorry for the torture *ducks head* Hoping you're being slightly satisfied and will do my best to keep you satisfied in the future hihi :P
Sarah: Thank you! Just did so ;)
Takhisis: It was your begging that finaly made me finish :0 Really ;) I'm a bit late after that, but my only defense is that I enjoyed this wonderful, romantic week in Tampa with my boyfriend and was slightly starry eyed when I got back.... However, I've always been a sucker for the word 'please' :) So here it is; the new chappie. Enjoy!
o0OMariaO0o (for chapter 4): Then why did you read 4 chapters?! And may I advice you to write a story of your own so we can compare them. Don't yell at others before you know what you're talking about.
Charlotte: Thanks! When I got other stories I'll send them over to ya ;)
Cleopatra213: Thank you; and here it finaly is :)
Alice28 (for chapter 4): Hmn... yes they are LOL That or they will be ;)
Alice28 (for chapter 16): Yes, sorry about that. I was distracted, but I'll try and keep updating from now on :)
FemmeDraconis (for chapter 5): Thank you... yeah.. the walking over actually made me laugh while writing it hihi
sparrowgurl66: Thanks; and I'm kinda freaky myself so it fits hihi.
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I've been away for a long time....
Hmn, I wonder if y'all still love my rime...
So tell me quick, in your review
And soon, I'll have a chapter; all new.
Please review!
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