Clark
really didn't want to talk to Lana, but he would. Clark felt better,
more reassured that he was a good father. That was why he had taken
Alex, and he honestly just didn't feel like even looking at Lana, he
wasn't trying to pit Alex against her.
Clark opened the back door
of the car, reaching inside to unfasten Alex's seat belt, letting him
out of his car seat. Alex immediately raced towards the Kent's front
door, stuffed tiger animal in hand.
Clark leaned against the car,
deciding weather he should go in ot
not.
Lana
turned around as she heard the door open and her son stumbled inside,
falling, but he was obviously not hurt, because he got back up with a
smile on his face.
"Mom, I saw SO many animals" He
beamed"There was a tiger this big" He stretched his out
his arms as far as they could go.
"That's great sweetie."
Lana said watching the door, wondering why Clark hadn't been right
behind Alex.
"The tigers goes Grrrrr, really loud." Alex
tried to imitate the tiger's roar"But I wasn't scared."
Normally Lana would have found her son's stories adorable and
given him her full attention, but all she could focus on was lack of
Clark"Sweetie, where is your dad"
As if on cue, Clark
entered the house, eyes on Alex or the floor the whole time, never
making eye contact with Lana.
"Hey, sweetie, Grandma's in the
kitchen, why don't you tell her about the zoo." Lana said, and
happy once her little boy ran into the kitchen, so she could talk to
Clark alone.
"Clark, last night we both said some things we
regret." Lana knew she had really hurt Clark.
"But... we
meant them." Clark finally made eye contact with Lana.
Lana
couldn't deny it"But Clark, you took what I said the wrong
way. That isn't the reason at all I wouldn't move in with you...
you're right, I did mean what I said, but I think you are a great
father, I wasn't saying you weren't."
"Then why, Lana"
Clark's voice sounded stressed, but not angry.
"I..."
Lana honestly didn't know why, of course her parents frowned upon it,
but Clark was right, she wasn't a kid anymore"I do... but..."
Lana felt an underlying fear, why or of what, she didn't know.
Clark
needed Lana to think he was a good father, but he needed her more to
show it, back up her words"but what"
"I don't
know." Lana tucked some loose strands of hair behind her ears"I just feel like I should, and I want to... but I feel like we
need to set discuss boundaries and limitations."
"For
Alex" Clark asked, unsure.
"Yes, but for us too."
Lana felt like bringing the certain topic up, as long as they were
discussing things. She really did know in her heart why she hadn't
moved in with Clark. She had been hoping for a proposal before, yet
it didn't seem like she was ever going to get it.
"Us? What
about us" Clark didn't understand what she was getting
at.
"Clark... are we ever going to go any farther" Lana
asked indirectly.
Clark didn't know how much further they could
go"Lana... what are you looking for me to say? Because I don't
know, and I'm sorry."
Lana was hurt that he seriously just
didn't get it, didn't think about it. She was going to have to be
blunt"Are we ever going to get married"
Clark hadn't
seen that one coming. He never even thought about marriage before. He
honestly didn't believe in it. He never saw no purpose in it. What
was the point? They take a vow saying death do us part, but more than
half break that promise and get divorced. To Clark marriage had the
same authority as dating. He didn't feel like marriage was a next
step because it was all the same, only with a title. You couldn't
cheat on your girlfriend, and you can't cheat on your wife. You could
break up with a girlfriend and divorce a wife.
Clark had never
realized Lana had wanted marriage before"Lana... I never
thought..." He had just assumed she shared his opinion.
Lana
saw it was clear he didn't want marriage and it hurt her"No,
its fine. I just wanted to be sure." She turned away from him,
trying to keep from crying.
"Lana..." Clark said with
utter tenderness, sensing she was upset, and he bridged the 3 foot
gap between, as he placed a hand on her shoulder from behind"If
that's what you want, of course, we'll get married."
Clark
saw Lana visibly shake, and even though her back was turned to him
and he couldn't see her face, he knew the tears were there.
"Clark."
She turned around"I don't want you to do it because you think
it's what I want. I want you to want it." Lana's voice cracked
on a sob.
"Lana, you know I love you. You know you're the
only one I'd ever want to spend the rest of my life with." He
cupped her cheek with his hand"You make me human, and if you
want to show that, prove that with a title, I will."
Lana
didn't understand where Clark was coming from. How could it mean so
little to him? She had always pictured marriage in her future. She
didn't doubt Clark's love or loyalty, but how could he not think
about it? Marriage was so much more than a label.
"Clark
marriage isn't just a title... it's the final commitment." She
said as Clark brushed a tear from her face.
"Well Lana, then
I want to make that commitment." Clark never knew Lana had felt
this way about marriage before.
"Clark..." It just
didn't feel right to Lana anymore. She knew Clark would always love
her, but she also knew he was only asking her to marry her because he
thought that was what she wanted, and it was but... this just wasn't
how she had pictured her proposal, it wasn't romantic at all, it was
forced.
"Lana, I don't know what else to say." Clark
didn't know how to make it right.
"I don't know either."
Lana didn't know why she felt this way, I mean, Clark loved her and
was doing it to make her happy, shouldn't that be enough? She just
didn't understand why Clark felt marriage was worth so little.
Clark
was so confused and had no idea what to do next, he hated to see Lana
crying but... he couldn't just change the way he felt"Lana,
just tell me what you want and I'll do it. If you want to get
married, we will."
How do you answer a question like that?
Yes, she wanted to get married... he was trying his hardest to make
her happy...
"Yes... I do want to get married." Lana
knew she did, and she still wanted to, even if he didn't think it was
important.
"Okay..." Clark hugged her, but he still
didn't feel like things had been settled, it just didn't feel
right.
1 ½
week later
"Alex, stop it." Lana scolded him in the
supermarket as he pulled boxes of cereal off the shelf.
"I
wanna go" He whined as he threw himself on the floor.
"Alex,
get up. We'll leave soon." Lana said patiently as she picked
Alex up by one arm, but he went limp on purpose, so she would have to
pull all his body weight. "Alex, stop it."
Alex started
crying, and pretty soon he was screaming. Lana picked him up, and he
clung to her, still crying loudly. Lana knew her son well enough to
know he was upset for other reasons.
Lana was very thankful when
his wails calmed down to whimpers, because people were all starring
at her.
"Hey,
Lana." Martha grabbed a grocery bag from her daughter's arm as
she came inside"Is Alex outside"
"Yeah, he's
still in his car seat, would you grab him for me" Lana
asked.
"Sure." Martha headed outside, and was back in
the house with her grandson in less than a minute.
It was painful
for Lana to look at her son, eyes red from crying and obviously still
upset.
"Did he throw another fit" Martha asked, rocking
Alex in her arms.
"Yeah." It hurt Lana so much, because
she knew why he little boy was acting out; he missed his Dad. Clark
hadn't been by in a week and a half. Lana understood too, he was
working hard, trying to get Lionel's parole denied and he was working
almost 24/7. She also thought part of the reason was because of how
things had been really awkward between them ever since the marriage
talk.
"Grampa..."Alex said and he looked like he might
start crying again.
Martha came back into the kitchen after
she had brought Alex to Jonathan"Lana, sweetie, what's going
on with Clark"
Martha had kept her nose out of it so far
but she couldn't anymore. Alex had started to cling to Jonathan more,
obviously looking for a replacement of the male figure he wasn't
getting lately.
"He's working on preventing Lionel's parole
being granted." Lana knew she should have told Martha, but she
had to of known herself, it was all over the news. Plus Lionel
represented a horrible time in her life and she didn't like
discussing it.
"Well I assumed that much, but it seems like
there is something else." Martha tried to open her daughter
up.
"Mom..." Lana said"We were talking about a
lot of things... Alex... and us."
"And" Martha
urged her on.
"I think I'm going to move in with Clark."
Lana said, not sure how Martha would react.
"Oh..." Was
all she said.
"Mom, you've seen Alex lately, and we both know
he's acting like this because he misses Clark..." Lana felt like
she need to explain, and this past week she really saw how much it
all was linked, and that Clark was right.
Before anyone could say
anything else the phone rang, and Lana picked it up"Hello"
"Lana,
hey." Clark said in an optimistic tone.
"Hi, Clark.
What's up" She asked.
"Um, Lionel was denied his parole
request." Clark said.
"That's great, how did you do it"
Lana had been aware of Clark's constant search for dirt over the past
few weeks, but he had never found anything close.
"Money."
Clark didn't feel a bit guilty that he had bribed the parole board,
after all the only reason Lionel had gotten the 3 years was by
bribing a judge"So he has to finish his last 6 months in jail.
I'm going to come over, I'll be there in like 25 minutes.
"Alright."
Lana replied.
"Bye." Clark hung up.
TBC...
