Self Indulgence
Disclaimer: I own no person, place or thing that you recognize. Persona's are property of the WWE and Vince McMahon, people own themselves. I'm just borrowing them for a little torture that is, fan fiction.
Spoilers: Nope, none here.
Rating: R for explicit content and language.
Summary: Sometimes, things aren't always as perfect as they seem…
Notes: Refer to the first chapter for any applicable notes.
……………………………
The redheaded Diva strained to hear the noise just outside the locker room. She knew full well that RAW had kicked off, and that people would more than likely be looking for them soon. Or him to be more precise, but that thought was the last thing on either one of their minds. Following her failed attempt to ask him to leave, Randy had taken a moment to remove her shirt. His dress shirt was now completely unbuttoned, hanging loosely from his shoulders. Lita's hands splayed over his bare chest, hazel orbs flying shut as his mouth latched on to a sensitive spot beneath her ear. It always started like this, well except for the slight conversation..her asking for him to leave; it always started like this. No terms of endearment, no passing whispered confessions, just them.
A man and a woman.
Flashback
November, 2003
The night Matt had debuted on RAW, the night Lita had lost her job…only to regain it on a favor from Christian. That had been the night that she had the fortune - or perhaps it was now a misfortune - of running into Randy Orton at the hotel bar. The redhead had already passed the point of releasing her tears, now it was just a matter of releasing her pain. She had already downed her third shot, and was about to order another when the cocky, young member of Evolution approached her. Really, it had been simple, she had brushed him off and he had remained persistent. To her utmost surprise, he had actually seemed to care about what she was going through. And at that time, the redheaded Diva never would've expected for a team mate of Hunter's to be empathetic…not to anyone and in all honesty not to her. They hadn't done anything that night, she had managed to successfully deter him and they had parted in the hotel bar.
That night had marked the first time she had dared to view Randy Orton in a different light.
End Flashback
The redhead came back to reality when she felt a hand tugging insistently at her jeans. Her face lifted upwards, Randy staring down at her; blue eyes dark with lust. The atmosphere in the locker room swirling thick with passion..and yet with an underwritten tone of tension. It was truly a dangerous game that they played, the risk of getting caught always weighing on the back of their minds. She grazed her hands over his arms, her fingertips seeming to dance along his biceps as his shirt fell to the floor. One hand grasped at the back of his neck, guiding his face to hers for another heated meeting of their lips. That hand stayed, grasping at the fine hairs on the back of his neck. The other traveled back down his arm, seeking out one of his hands. She could feel his desire for her, the redhead voicing her mutual want as she arched her body against him. His mouth left hers, the two breathing heavily, their foreheads resting together. She released his hand, cupping his cheek gently; the pad of her thumb caressing his cheekbone. Lita captured his mouth with hers as he went to work on her pants. Randy had just unzipped the redheads jeans, when she pulled back, nodding over to the plush chair in the locker room.
The heated kiss began anew as they stumbled in the direction of the chair. She turned him when they reached their destination, placing her palms flat on his chest; urging him to take a seat. Lita smiled seductively, licking her lips as she straddled him.
Flashback
April, 2004
After the night at the hotel bar, they never really talked. Sure, they acknowledged each other once in a blue moon in the hallways backstage, but nothing beyond the false pleasantries. She, after all, had her own circle of friends while he was running the high life with Evolution. Perhaps things would've stayed that way, but fate had something else in mind for the Queen of Extreme and the Legend Killer. It had been at Backlash, after his match with Mick Foley, that again…the redheaded Diva saw Randy Orton in a new light. He was more than just one of Evolution's cronies, he was more than just a third generation wrestler. That moment too had been just a passing moment. She had been engaged in conversation with Victoria, while he was being helped to the trainer's room by Batista and Flair.
It wasn't until the night that Kane made Lita the sacrificial lamb did the dangerous game begin.
Again, the redheaded Diva had been drowning her sorrows in the hotel bar. And again, Randy Orton had happened upon her. Only this time, instead of just brushing him off, the redhead had actually invited him to join her for a drink. That had lead to the two leaving the hotel bar for a club in the area. Perhaps it had been the alcohol, or perhaps it had been the adrenaline carousing through her being from her state of fear; but that had marked the night they went from being mere acquaintances to the status that they held with each other now. It was really meant to be, just a one night stand. They both went into the hotel room knowing that.
Of course, now she knew differently.
End Flashback
Randy's hands cupped her breasts, the redhead's hands teasing dangerously along the waistband of his pants. She massaged him through the fabric, the redhead rewarded with a satisfied groan for her efforts. He bucked against her hand, the redhead admonishing him for lack of control. Randy's response was to replace one of his hands with his mouth, the free hand now trailing over her abdomen. His touch sent an electric sensation through her being, her mouth parting as a low moan escaped her. His mouth turned to lavish attention to her right breast, both hands working now to tug down her jeans.
……..
"Li?" Victoria beckoned from the hallway, "Li? Are you there?"
Lita bit her lower lip, locking eyes with Randy as his hands splayed over the exposed surface of her upper thighs. "What is it Vi?"
"I just.." Victoria trailed off, checking in either direction to make sure no one else was in the hallway. "I just wanted to talk to you…about, umm…well about, you know."
Randy raised an eyebrow, massaging the redhead's thigh. "Li? What's she talking about?"
The redhead shrugged in response, her fingertips dancing over his chest. "Can you be a bit more specific Vi?"
"You know what I mean Lita." Victoria sighed, leaning sideways against the door. "I thought you said that you and Randy had stopped whatever it was you were doing."
Lita frowned, holding up a hand to Randy, silently indicating for him to stay put. "Vi, like I said earlier…this really isn't the time or the place to talk about this."
"Well then can I at least come in and talk to you?" The raven haired Diva let out a frustrated sigh. "Li, please..I'm worried about you."
"Honestly, Vi, there's nothing to be worried about." Lita's reply was calm, collected and nonchalant…though on the inside, turmoil reigned. "Can't we talk later?"
There was a moments pause, and the redhead could see Victoria slowly conceding. "Fine…we'll talk later."
"Later Vi.."
"Later."
The redhead's eyes fluttered shut, Lita shutting off that part of her for now. "So…where were we?"
A lazy smile curved at the corners of Randy's mouth. "So she knows about us…?"
Lita rolled her eyes, her fingernails raking lightly over his sculpted chest and abdomen. "I thought we agreed that there is no us."
Randy rolled his eyes right back, his thumbs tracing slow circles of her inner thighs. "You know what I meant."
The redheaded Diva remained silent a moment, her hands splaying over his abdomen. "Yeah she knows…I had to talk to someone, you know? Us girls…can't keep a secret to save our lives."
Randy smirked, his hands moving to grip her hips. "Well all things considered, it's a good thing you went to Victoria…and not someone else."
An unreadable emotion flashed through Lita's eyes for a moment. "Yeah..I doubt that'd go over really well."
A hand moved to cup her lower back, drawing her closer to him. "I'm not sure how much time we have left…"
Lita nodded absently, "They're probably sending a search party out for you now.."
"Let them search." His face moved forwards, his mouth dropping feather light kisses on her collarbone. "I-"
"You should probably leave now." The redhead turned her face, wrapping her arms around herself. "Less questions…or whatever."
Confusion swirled in Randy's eyes. "Why?"
Lita's lips pressed into a thin line, "You know why Randy…" She shook her head, gingerly removing herself from his body. "You shouldn't be here right now."
He held firm to her, "But I want to be here…I came here looking for you, because I want you."
The Diva shook her head, "But you'll still go back to her, that's where you belong."
A frustrated sigh escaped the Legend Killer. "Then why am I here with you?"
"Because it's fun?" She offered blandly, "Because of the risk? It's a great adrenaline rush huh…knowing that, at any moment we could get caught."
He gritted his teeth, "Is that all this is to you? Fun? A thrill?"
"Isn't it?" Lita replied distantly, "All this is, is a physical attraction…we both knew that from the get go.. Nothing's changed Randy, so there's no use pretending that it has."
Randy released her abruptly, "Is that really what you think?"
Lita nodded mechanically, "I would be a fool to think otherwise..so would you."
Randy raked his hands over his hair, watching on as the redhead gathered her discarded shirt. "Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"Acting like this…one minute you're all over me and the next, you act like I don't even exist."
A sullen smile crossed her face, "You know the answer to that, so I'm not even going to bother."
He rose from the chair, crossing the short distance to her. "I told you already, if you want me to break up with her, I'll do it."
"And then what, huh?" Lita knelt down, hazel orbs focusing on the pattern on her shirt. "We announce to the world that we've been carrying on this illicit affair? That you've decided to do the moral thing? Please, it doesn't work like that…don't delude yourself Randy."
"Damn it Lita." Randy gritted his teeth, crouching beside her, a hand closing over hers. "Can't you see? I want you."
"But you still chose her." Lita replied smoothly, standing then, her shoulders squaring. "You can tell me you want me, but you chose her."
"Then I'll-"
"Then nothing Randy." The Diva shook her head, ignoring the feelings bottled within her. "You chose her, so go back to her. Forget about me, this was a mistake."
Randy's hand left hers, instead closing on her shoulder. "Is that what you want?"
Lita nodded, not trusting herself to face him. "It's what has to happen."
"That doesn't answer my question…is it what you want?"
"Why does it matter…?" Lita tried to jerk away, but his hand held firm. "It's for the best…and it's what should have happened a long time ago."
Randy shook his head, stepping in front of her. "I don't believe you."
"Are you a mind reader?" She replied methodically, "We don't always get what we want, Randy…just go."
Randy reached down to pick up his shirt, draping it over the crook of his arm. "This isn't over Li."
"Don't call me Li…and it is over."
"No it's not." Randy remained firm, a finger hooking under her chin; forcing her to look him in the face. "Not until we talk about this."
"There's nothing to talk about Randy." Lita remained distant, willing him to understand. "I don't know what's running through your mind right now, but there never was an 'us'..there never will be an 'us'. "
Randy held her gaze for a moment, his hand cupping her cheek. "I'll see you at the hotel."
Lita scoffed indifferently, "Like hell you will, don't you get it Randy? There is nothing to talk about. This is done, over…finished."
Randy shook his head, releasing her face to shrug back into his shirt. "I'll see you at the hotel."
Lita looked on as he exited the locker room, the redhead sinking down to the cool surface of the floor as soon as the door had shut. Why did things have to get so complicated? She knew she could've had it easier..that things could have and should have ended when he started dating Stacy. That had been almost two weeks ago now. Her forehead came to rest on her knees, the redhead curling into herself.
………
Flashback
January, 2005
He had come to meet her, just as he had been since late May of last year. They had decided that from the beginning, she rarely had a room mate but aside from that…they figured it would raise less suspicion. At that point in time, Victoria was the only one who knew about them. The raven haired Diva having seen Randy exiting the redhead's hotel room after one of there late night trysts. Victoria had confronted Lita then about it, questioning if the redhead really knew what she was getting into. And Lita, had of course, assured her friend that she knew what she was doing. It was only a no strings attached sort of thing, no feelings involved…just mutual gratification.
But that had changed somewhere along the line…only Lita chose to ignore it.
It was on that night, the night that Randy informed her that he was with Stacy…the night Lita realized she did care about him. That it had gone past no strings attached..well beyond that; but apparently it was too little too late. They had agreed then, that they would end things between them. That night was supposed to have been their last meeting…and nothing was supposed to happen. But, it hadn't gone that way. Instead he had left her hotel room in the early hours of the morning, the room still fresh from their recent tryst. And then they had met again…during the break between the house shows; he had showed up at her front door, unannounced as usual. But instead of turning him away like she should have, she invited him in like she so routinely did.
She had fallen further than she was willing to admit. But did he feel the same? Lita really couldn't tell.
End Flashback
……………
The redhead was informed at the curtains that, it would be the King presiding over the festivities as Randy had been booked that night to face Christian. That was all fine and dandy as the redhead wasn't looking forward to the stupid thing anyway. Given yes, she was grateful that Randy wouldn't be there…as it would prevent a potentially awkward situation. It would also make things that much easier for her to ignore the Legend Killer that was haunting her mind. And perhaps, what was paining her the most at that moment, was that she had to ignore him. That she had to ignore the turmoil within her. Lita condemned herself for allowing her heart to get involved. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, she wasn't supposed to be falling for him…she wasn't supposed to fall for him.
But the painful reality of it all, was that she had fallen for him. And she had fallen hard.
The rest of RAW was a blur for the redheaded Diva. She had shut alienated herself from the rest of the Diva's..and from most of her co-workers for the last hour. The only person she did see was Victoria. And as the redhead had anticipated, the raven haired Diva voiced her concerns. Lita had made the mistake of telling Victoria once, that maybe…just possibly…she was starting to fall for Randy. But, because they had agreed from the get go that it was no strings attached…she was just going to ignore it. Victoria had said then that it was stupid of her to ignore it, and that she would feel better if she just told Randy. But, like tonight, just as she had then; Lita remained firm in her decision. It really was for the best, and in time, her feelings would dissipate.
She only wished she could believe that.
………………………
Review Responses:
Iaera: Thank you! I just get ideas..lol, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I guess this is a case where it did, eh? I hope this chapter was to your liking. Thank you for the review!
Together: lol, my sentiments exactly. I'm not really sure what I have planned…well, that's a lie, cuz I do..hehe. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you for the review!
Latisha C: Yes, I will be updating that…just not sure when. I'm just trying to sort out all of my ideas, but no worries that'll get updated. I hope you liked this chapter and thank you for the review!
Free-vibe: I can't say that I don't like the pair (well…not really, but I won't get into it..lol)…just that I like the non-common ones that much more. I hope you liked this chapter and thank you for the review!
CNIMBWM: heh, you can say that again. And thank you! I think this angst stuff is right up my alley..lol. I hope you liked the chapter and thank you for the review!
Xokittyjunox: Here's another chapter for ya! Thank you for the review!
Aussiewrestlingfan: Thank you so much Carolyn! I hope you liked this chapter.
Myth: Yeah, I had half a mind to write something fluffy (which I do have plans for …just not ready to write it yet) but then I thought otherwise. Love isn't always perfect, and I just can't resist writing angst and drama…lol. I hope you liked the chapter and thank you for the review!