Self Indulgence
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize. Personas are property of Mr. McMahon and the WWE. People own themselves, I'm just borrowing.
Spoilers: Haha…no
Rating: R for explicit content and language
Summary: Things aren't always as perfect as they seem…
Notes: Everything applicable can be found in the first chapter.
Thanks to: iaera, Latisha C., CNIMBWM, Myth & abril4. Review responses for the next chapter..sorry about that.
………………………
The redheaded Diva wasn't sure how much time passed. All she knew was that they had been sitting there, in silence. Randy had yet to say anything, and neither of them had moved. The air between them was tense and the distance was, for once, minimal. No matter how hard she tried to look away, she continued to hold his gaze. Seeing for the first time, allowing him to see for the first time. For the first time, there were no barriers between them. The emotions she tried so carefully to guard, played freely in her hazel depths. She wanted to tell him, and in fact she was planning on it. But before she uttered a word, she just had to know something. And perhaps it was her way of setting herself up for a rejection, but before Lita would reveal any of the feelings she harbored. She had to know if they were reciprocated. Once she knew that, she would decide on what to say.
Her mouth parted, the redhead licking her lips before she spoke. "I..I just need to know something."
Randy blinked, not expecting that part. "About..?'
Lita paused, wrapping her arms around her legs. "How do you..or I guess do you..I mean, do-"
"What?"
'Please don't make me say it.' The redhead thought desperately, her eyes fluttering shut before she voiced her question. "What do I mean to you?"
Randy rubbed the back of his neck, "Well…"
"Well..?" Lita prompted then, "Do I disgust you, do you loathe me? What do I mean to you? It really isn't that hard of a question Randy."
The Legend Killer made a face, "Is this your way of avoiding my questions or something?"
"Just answer the question.." Lita replied listlessly, the Diva turning her face again, red locks curtaining her from view.
"Well which do you want to know? What you mean to me, or how I feel about you?"
Her shoulders lifted awkwardly. "Either or is fine.."
Randy nodded, "How about both…but on one condition."
"And that is…?"
He smirked slightly, brushing her hair from her face. "That you do the same."
The redhead hesitantly nodded, "Fair enough then."
"Alright..just don't expect any hallmark card or anything.." Randy smiled sheepishly, causing a tiny smile to crease at Lita's lips. "I'm really shitty at this stuff."
"Fair warning taken then.."
Randy nodded, pausing a moment to gather his thoughts. And it was in that moment that the hotel phone rang.
"They can wait.." Lita stated softly, "That's what voicemail is for."
Randy chuckled, nodding in agreement. "I guess I should start with-"
He was cut off again when Lita's cell phone started ringing, the redhead casting an annoyed glance at the object.
He frowned, "Maybe you should answer that…?"
The Diva shrugged, tentatively reaching for the offending object. "Depends on who it is…" Hazel orbs flickered to the display panel, her eyes widening considerably.
"Umm…hi Stacy."
"Hi.." The long legged Diva replied meekly, "Look Li, I know we haven't talked in awhile and I'm honestly sorry about that, but I just .. I really need someone to talk to and Randy went somewhere, he didn't say when he would be back, I tried calling Torrie and.." The blonde let out a dejected sigh, "I'm sorry I just-"
"No..no it's alright Stace, honest… we're friends right?" Lita forced a smile, removing her person from the bed. "What's up?"
Stacy paused, a sharp breath taken in. "Well.." Her voice faltered, an awkward silence falling between them. "Can I come down to your hotel room?"
"Umm.." Lita drew her lower lip between her teeth, "Why don't I just head down there?"
Stacy frowned, twisting a strand of hair around her index finger. "Because I don't know when Randy'll be back and .. This is something I kinda don't want him walking in on."
Lita nodded slowly, "Alright I guess…I'm in 304."
"Okay.." The blonde stated quietly, "Thanks a mill. Li, I'll be up in a bit."
"Not a problem at all Stace..I'll see you."
The redhead waited for the dial tone before she flicked the cell phone shut. "Well…"
"Shit."
"Right." Lita bit her lower lip, tossing the cell phone back on the bed.
"I'll just get out of here then."
"No.." The redhead stated in the blink of an eye, "She's heading here now, and if she catches you leaving?"
"Then what should I do, huh? Hide underneath the bed?"
Lita rolled her eyes, pacing the length of the hotel room. "I'm thinking alright?"
Randy rolled his eyes right back, standing then. "Well think of something soon."
Lita stuck out her tongue, pausing in her pacing to pluck his suit jacket from the floor. "Well…there's the closet and the bathroom."
"And?"
The redhead opened the closet door, tossing his suit jacket inside. "Just .. Sit tight alright? I'm not exactly sure what she wants but it sounded pretty important."
Randy nodded, his hand reaching out to her a moment. "Don't keep me waiting."
Lita just shook her head, shutting the door after him.
…..
A few moments later, there was a sharp knock at the door. And as she had expected, it was none other than Stacy Keibler. That was when Lita's guilt kicked in, growing considerably when she noticed the mascara streaked cheeks. Whatever it was that Stacy needed to discuss, didn't look good. All the same, the redhead forced a smile..opening the door for her friend.
"Li, I'm really sorry..I just-"
Lita held up a hand, indicating for the blonde to step inside. "Don't sweat it okay? That's what friends do.." Mentally she added, 'They don't steal your boyfriend though…'
Stacy nodded, wiping away at her eyes…but in one hand, the redhead spotted something. "I just didn't know who else to go to…Vikki and I have never really been close, you know? And I can't say that I really trust the new girls."
The redheaded Diva nodded in understanding, "Enough said, okay? Come on in.." She waited until Stacy had entered the hotel room, before she shut the door…a wary glance sent to the closet but none the less..no looking back now.
Stacy expelled a tired sigh, settling on the bed. "I'm sorry if I interrupted your plans or anything."
Lita rolled her eyes, quipping easily. "Trust me Stace, I'm as single as they get..I had no plans tonight."
The long legged blonde smiled weakly, "You want me to talk to anyone for you? It's been awhile since we've done the double date thing…I'm sure Randy wouldn't mind."
The redhead laughed, "That's quite alright Stace..I'm perfectly fine with the way things are."
Stacy nodded, waiting until Lita had also settled. "Well, if you change your mind or whatever.."
"I appreciate it Keibler." Lita grinned enthusiastically, though inside..she was pained. "So…what's up?"
The blonde Diva's hands clasped together, her voice small and meek. "I have a problem."
The redhead raised a brow, "What kind of problem?"
"Well…" Stacy trailed off, biting her lower lip. "It's not a problem with management or anything…for once my career is fine, you know?"
"Uh huh," Lita drew her legs beneath her, a curious glance sent to the blonde. "Then is it .. Well, I mean, is it Randy or something?"
"Or something…" Stacy stated quietly, "IthinkImightbepregnant."
Lita blinked, 'oh shit'.. "Um, say that again?"
Stacy's hands wrung together, her eyes growing bright with fresh tears. "I think I'm pregnant."
The redhead slowly nodded, trying with all her might to push back the crestfallen face. "I see…"
"But I'm not sure," Stacy sighed, tossing the object up from her hands. "I got that earlier..but I'm just so scared..I mean, what if I am? I would love nothing more than to be a mom, but I don't know if I'm ready right now."
Lita nodded numbly, "I know what you mean Stace.."
Stacy nodded weakly, "Yeah…that's why I figured you'd be the best person to talk to…no offense or anything."
The redheaded Diva forced a smile, raking a hand through her hair. "Finding out is always one of the hardest parts."
Stacy blinked, "What's the other?"
The redhead grimaced, unconsciously placing a hand on her abdomen. "Telling the father."
Stacy groaned, "Well…might as well get one part of the way…can I use the bathroom? I just don't want Randy to find it or anything."
Lita nodded, "Go right ahead Stace…just don't mind the make-up strewn on the counter, yeah? Vikki and Lil had the urge to drag me out to dinner with them."
Stacy giggled in spite of it all, rising from the bed then. "Thank you Li…I don't know what I'd do without you."
The redheaded Diva forced another smile, a heavy sigh escaping her when the bathroom door shut. Lita all but made up her mind then, it didn't matter how Randy felt…and her feelings were equally as trivial. Stacy deserved this happiness…and the redhead would just feel even more horribly if she were to stand in the way of it any longer. Still though, she couldn't stop the sharp pang of emptiness she felt.
Life just wouldn't be the same without Randy.
……..
The minutes seemed to pass like hours, the redhead waiting impatiently on the bed while Stacy remained in the bathroom. It struck the redhead as ironic though…Stacy had gone out of her way to find out in this hotel room so she wouldn't have to face an awkward situation with Randy. Little did the blonde Diva know that he was in the hotel room as well. That quick premonition caused the redhead to cast a look to the closed closet door…but she averted her attention when the door to the bathroom opened.
"Alright…" Stacy's foot appeared first, followed by the rest of the leggy Diva. "Two lines means pregnant, right?"
The redhead wordlessly held out a hand, "Let me see the instructions."
The blonde gulped uneasily, the pregnancy wand in one hand, the instructions in the other. "I'm so nervous."
"Don't be…" Lita stated quietly, hazel eyes skimming the rumpled sheet. "Yup…two lines means you're pregnant."
Stacy nodded, a moment of tense silence following. "I…I can't look."
Again, Lita held out a hand…the redhead steeling herself before she looked. And when she did…her heart sank. "Two lines…congratulations Stacy."
"Are you…are you sure?"
The redheaded Diva nodded glumly, "Positive.." She handed the wand over, "Two lines…just like the instructions say."
The long legged Diva let out a breathy sigh, "God…what am I going to do?"
Lita blinked, "You aren't gonna have an abortion, are you?"
"Oh Lord no…" Stacy shook her head, raking a hand through her hair. "It's just…I don't know if I'm ready to be a mom."
Lita smiled tersely, "I'm sure it'll come easy to you…"
"I guess.." The blonde Diva bit her lower lip, worrying the soft flesh. "It's just…it's such a shock."
Lita nodded mechanically, "Believe me..I know how you feel."
Stacy placed the wand on the comforter, wiping her palms over her skirt. "I just…wow…I mean..I'm going to be a mom."
"Yeah.." The redhead quirked a smile, "We'll hafta get all the Diva's together for your baby shower."
Stacy laughed shakily, wiping another tear from her face. "Yeah…at least I won't hafta worry about Jazz or Gail."
Lita smiled wryly, "No..just Trish and whatever spiteful things she has running through that vindictive mind of hers."
Stacy smiled weakly, reaching out a hand to the redhead. "I'm so sorry Li…that was just wrong of me and-"
"Don't worry.." Lita re-assured with a forced smile, reaching out her own hand to gently squeeze the blonde's shoulder. "
Stacy smiled again, a soft one…this one reaching her eyes. "I know it's early and all…and Torrie will probably flip, but would you be the baby's god-mother?"
The redhead laughed shakily, "Now now Stace…unless you're intentionally trying to drive a wedge between me and Torrie?"
Stacy rolled her eyes in spite of it all, "I see your point…it's just, I honestly don't know what I'd do without you…and I know we haven't spent as much time together as we used to but..out of all the girls over on RAW? I'd like to think of you as my best friend."
Lita could feel the knife twisting in her stomach. "Thanks Stace…that means a lot to me."
Stacy smiled shakily, "Well…I guess I'd better go now…all that crying really wore me out."
The redhead nodded, moving from the bed then. "Well, I'm glad you stopped by…and that I could help and all."
The blonde also stood, collecting the wand from the bed first. "Now I just hafta figure out how to break the news."
Lita smiled weakly, "I'm sure Randy will be thrilled to find out."
Stacy faltered for a moment, her toe digging into the plush carpeting. "Well..um..about that…"
Lita blinked, confusion swirling in her hazel depths. "Randy is the father…right?"
Stacy bit her lower lip, her gaze cast downwards. "Randy and I haven't…well, you know…"
The redhead slowly nodded, "I see…"
"Yeah…" Stacy let out a low sigh, leaning back against the closet door. "We planned on it tonight, but…something just..I don't know how to explain and it's probably too much information, right?"
Lita smirked in spite of it all, "Just a bit.."
Stacy nodded numbly, "Yeah well…I doubt the father will really want to know."
The redhead raised a brow, "What kind of asshole is he then?"
"He's not.." Stacy stated instantly, "It's just…his girlfriend would probably want to kill me."
"Oh?"
Stacy nodded, "Yeah…it's a long story, he and I had kinda dated, but nothing like overly serious or anything..or at least not for very long…It was right after WrestleMania XX actually, I had my eye on him for awhile and then we finally hooked up…but we broke up for some reasons or another…got back together after Survivor Series and then broke up again…then it…it's just a really big mess and I really do want to get to bed and everything but…" She sent a hopeful look to Lita. "Maybe you can talk to her for me? Convince her to not kill me until the baby is born?"
The redhead nodded skeptically, "Who do I have to talk to?"
"Dawn Marie." Stacy stated meekly, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lita nodded slowly as realization dawned…Dawn Marie, aside from being her best friend…was also the current girlfriend of the United States Champion, John Cena. And granted yes, Dawn had a bit of a reputation of being a bitch…and being vindictive, conniving, a vixen…but Lita also knew how long the brunette had wanted John. The redhead also knew that Dawn wouldn't take the news very kindly, and would be liable to perform acts of bodily harm on the long legged blonde.
"I'm sorry if it's asking for too much, I mean…I know how close you two are, and I really wouldn't want to come between you two or anything, it's just..I don't even know how I'm gonna tell John…let alone Randy, you know? And-"
"I'll talk to Dawn…" Lita stated finally, "I know how to deal with her pretty well…I can't make any promises that she'll leave you alone entirely…but I'll at least try and get the death threats out of her thoughts."
Stacy nodded, "Thanks…I'm gonna have my hands full just trying to think of how to explain this whole mess.."
The redhead nodded, "I don't envy you…but believe me when I say…I can understand exactly what you're about to go through."
Stacy grimaced, "Yeah well…it's not like I cheated on him or anything, God…I'd feel horrible if I did that to Randy."
Lita barely had time to suppress the wince, "Yeah…well…can't do anything about it now, right?"
"Right." Stacy slowly pushed off from the closet door. "I just hope Randy's understanding, you know?"
Lita nodded, "I'm sure things will turn out for the best Stace.."
Stacy smiled again, squeezing the redhead's shoulder. "Thank you again Li, honestly…I don't know if I can say that enough…you're a true friend."
The redhead smiled weakly, guilt rising heavily. "Call if you need anything, okay?"
"I'll do that…" Stacy nodded as she grasped the brass door handle. "Good night."
"Night Stace." Lita lifted her hand in a wave, stepping into the doorway to watch the leggy blonde depart.
No sooner had she stepped back into the hotel room and shut the door, did the closet door swing open. Randy Orton stepped out, the only time Lita would ever be able to say he stepped out of the closet. But even that humorous thought did nothing to ease the situation. Instead, they both stood there…a look of shock evident on the Legend Killer's features while the Queen of Extreme was going through many of the emotions known to human kind. Finally, after a good span of silence had passed, the redhead opened her mouth.
"You should probably leave now."
Randy shook his head, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. "I don't care if I sleep in the bathtub, hell I'll sleep in the fucking hallway, but I can't face her right now."
Lita inclined her head curiously, tentatively reaching out a hand; her fingertips just brushing his cheek to bring his eyes to hers. "Then I'll leave…I'll crash in Vikki's hotel room or something."
Randy shook his head once more, groping blindly for her hand. "I need you."
Lita hesitated, she knew that Randy shouldn't be here…that he really should be with Stacy. Stacy needed him right now…but then, she needed him too. She started to shake her head, but Randy stepped forwards, banding his arms around her; drawing her tightly to him. And at first, she resisted…her arms stagnant at her sides. He buried his face in her hair, his grip tightening somehow..causing the redhead to take a sharp breath. However, instead of pulling away…her arms slowly encircled him. The two locked in a silent embrace.