A/N : It's been a while since I've put a disclaimer... anyways. Don't own DMC. Don't own the characters. Yadda yadda yadda. I'm glad everyone's been enjoying my one-shots. Here's something a little less serious and a little more weird... On a side note, I believe DMC3 took place in about 2-3 days, so the journal will reflect as such.

September 1st – Vergil sent me out to get Dante to come to the tower. What does he think I am, a dog? He'll see what's coming soon enough…

That Dante… he looks a lot like Vergil. Weird. They must be brothers or long-distant cousins. What's with the premature white, though? Not that I can really complain. I don't even have hair. My tumor's mocking me again. Dirty bastard. Shut up Jester! The laughter is driving me insane.

Totally owned Dante. Flipped his desk when he was propped on it. Somehow he flipped over on top of it, though. Definitely a son of Sparda. What a mess his office was, though! Doesn't that boy ever clean? His stomach is pretty. All muscle….y. He smelled good too. Just got a shower before I came.

Not that I care or anything. It's just better he doesn't stink up the tower. We will have to be there for a while. I'm glad I have you up here with me, journal. Vergil doesn't talk to me very much. I don't think he's a people-person.

Same day, later – Temen-Ni-Gru's finally risen again. The sky's all orange and stuff now. I wish I had brought my crayons with me. This stupid suit doesn't have any pockets. The tumor's starting to itch nowadays. Vergil told me it keeps moving, too. I think he likes making fun of me, though. There's no mirror up here. The only reflective thing is Vergil's sword.

….Yamato. Interesting specimen. It's really long and sharp. Makes me kind of wonder about Sparda. What exactly was he into, anyways? Freak.

Being bald sucks. Thank evilness that there's no sunlight, or I'd get a sunburn. Stupid Vergil doesn't have to worry with his white hair. And what is he, like 19? Freak.

And Dante. What the hell is up with that kid? Wearing a coat with no shirt? So 70's. Don't his nipples get rashes from the man-bra strap? Freak.

…this silence is getting to me. Vergil is soooo boring. All he does is watch his brother climb his tower all day. Can you say 'creepy'? Guy needs a hobby. He does like chopping up random demons. Annoying. I keep having to summon them just so he can kill more. Bloodthirsty mongoose.

I could really go for a goose right now. Retarded Vergil forgot to bring food and water. Says he can live without. I bet he has a hidden stash somewhere. I know he's hiding something from me. White haired people are always hiding something…

Same day, even later – The way Vergil's coat blows in the wind has suddenly become very interesting. There are moments when I wish my journal was an actual book. I need to finish reading up the dictionary, anyways. I'll do it once I get this whole thing with the tower over with.

I've noticed Vergil keeps looking at his amulet; all sad and stuff. I bet his mom didn't like him. She probably paid attention to Dante all the time. That's a really depressing thought. At least his mommy didn't beat him. My parents never understood me. I remember lighting black candles in my room all the time. The house always smelled like licorice.

Goddamn I hate licorice. …I bet Vergil has some, that sneaky bastard. He keeps staring at me sometimes. I can feel myself turning red. This is getting ridiculous.

If I was Vergil's mom, I would've loved him a whole lot more than Dante….