DISCLAIMER: Mine? Not hardly.

SUMMARY: Not much of one. Dawn and Spike are on the run after the destruction of Sunnydale. These are Dawn's diary entries.

SPOILERS: For the most part, up through the end of the show. And Angel up through Season 4's end. From there it's all me.

May 22, 2003

We hit the road from Barstow as soon as the sun went down. Spike wanted to get as far away from anyplace that could hold memories for us as possible. I don't think we stopped until the sun started coming up. I don't think so because I didn't even really notice the passing miles. I was too busy fighting to keep myself awake. I didn't want to have that dream again.

The problem wasn't necessarily the first part of the dream. It was the rest. The part Spike doesn't know about.

We had gone back to the remains of Sunnydale. We were all trying to find some trace of things that we had known. We had found people that we knew, dead. It was hard dealing with the mess.

I had been sifting through the debris near what was once the high school. Spike had found a portion of the sewers that was still intact and was trying to find some of the stuff he had left at his crypt.

Suddenly, I uncovered a hand. Nothing more of whoever it was. Just the hand. But I recognized the hand. It was Buffy's. I dug further, trying to find more of her. We had to bury something. I couldn't just leave her in this wreckage.

The next thing I knew, Xander was beside me and pulling me away from the debris. "NO! We have to find her! We need to give her a proper burial!"

I was still screaming as the sun went down and Spike came up from the sewers, his search unsuccessful. He took me from Xander and rocked me gently in my dream as I kept screaming for someone to dig her out of there. That was what I wanted right then. I was still holding her hand when the dream turned truly awful. The rest of my sister rose up out of the debris and walked toward me.


"Give me back my hand, Dawn. You're always taking things that don't belong to you. Give it back or I'm telling Mom." That was when my true screams started. My sister! Oh God! What was this? It couldn't be real! But then I felt her hand grab my arm.

Just then was when Spike finally managed to wake me up. I had been so scared to sleep all day that I just sat on my bed, doing crosswords and word finds until Spike woke up. Hell, I would have been happy to have homework to do at that point. When I noticed the time, I lay down and pretended to be waking up just as he woke up.

"You okay, Bit?"

"Fine, Spike. Just not totally awake yet." Just then, my stomach rumbled. "Can we get something to eat? I'm a little hungry."

"Of course. What would you like?"

"Maybe just a cheeseburger and small fries from McDonald's. I'm not really super hungry."

"Are you sure?" That was the first time he'd ever questioned me like that. I think he probably knew that I was actually starving. I'm sure he heard me stomach rumble.

I nodded. "I don't think I'm awake enough to handle more than that right now." My mind was screaming, "Liar! He's worried about you and you're lying to him! How could you?"

I had to though. I had to lie to him. I didn't want him worrying about me more than he already did.

Little did I know just how much worry I was going to cause him.