DISCLAIMER: Nope not mine. Any characters you recognize belong to the gods at Mutant Enemy Studios and Joss Whedon.

SUMMARY: Dawn and Spike are on the run after the end of Season 7 (as I saw it happening). Buffy's dead (for now). Dawn is having problems sleeping because of nightmares. She hasn't told Spike yet. This is told as entries in Dawn's diary.

DEDICATION: Since I forgot this in the first two chapters, I'll include it here. This is dedicated to all the people who role-played with me in "The New Angel" and "California Knights" (both groups on Yahoo). Most especially, thanks to Kitka and Drew without who neither group would have even been started.

May 23, 2003

Once again, I sit on a bed in a hotel room, doodling and working on puzzles to stay awake. I haven't slept in almost 2 whole days. I can't. That nightmare, it was just so real that I can't stand even thinking about having it again.

Spike's asleep. I guess he's not having as many nightmares as I have. Although he was crying in his sleep when I came back from a trip down to the hotel pool earlier. He apparently misses her too.

I still can't believe that she told him that she loved him just before she blew herself up. She had some nerve. I just can't believe that she did that to him. She turned him down and away for so long then said it just as she knew she was going to die.

That must be what's had him crying lately.

He keeps watching me when we're on the road. As if he knows that I'm not sleeping. As if he knows that half of what I eat I throw back up when I go to the bathroom right after. I hate doing that. It doesn't set well with my stomach to keep making myself throw up. I just know that if I have a full stomach, I'll fall asleep and that's something I just can't do. It's just not good for me right now.

He told me before he went to sleep that he needed to go find a butcher's shop or a blood bank to stock up before we get too much farther down the road. That's fine. That'll give me time to take my little wake up pills and let them take effect before we hit the road tonight.

I thought of these things when I remembered what Buffy had gone through when she came back at the beginning of her senior year. Snyder (may he burn in hell) had her jumping through hoops and she had no time for sleep if she was going to get everything done that he expected of her. She had started taking these little pills.

Flashback

Buffy was in her room, getting ready for a long night patrolling. Angel was back. No one else knew about it yet. I wouldn't have even known but for the fact that I followed her there one night. I saw her pour the pills into her hand and swallow them dry. "Buffy, what are you doing?"

"Nothing, Dawn. Nothing that you need to worry about."

"What are those pills you're taking?"

"Don't say a word to anyone about these. I have too much I need to worry about anymore. What with Snyder breathing down my neck, just waiting for an excuse to expel me again, my Slayer duties, the new Slayer in town and every one of my friends ignoring me right now. I just need a little help in staying awake long enough to finish the little things that Snyder expects of me."

"Buffy, those things could kill you. How many are you taking at a time?"

"Too many," came Angel's voice from the window. "Buffy, I thought I asked you not to take those things."

"You did. I don't take them all the time. Just when I don't have time to sleep. I'll catch up on my sleep this weekend. I promise."

"Dawn, this weekend, would you tell your mother that Buffy's spending the weekend at Willow's house? She'll actually be with me, if you need to get a hold of her. Just make sure that the gang calls the mansion if they need her. I'll make sure that she sleeps this weekend."

"No gross stuff, ok?" I knew what had brought Angelus out the last time. I really didn't want a repeat of that. It made Buffy miserable.

End Flashback

Buffy had been miserable when Angel lost his soul, but Angelus was an insufferable prick. I'm so glad that Willow was able to cast the spell to re-soul him. Angel may be a "billowy coat king-of-pain" type. But, he's definitely better than the arrogant ponce that was Angelus.

I could easily understand why Spike hated his grandsire so very much. I hated Angelus. I can't think of anyone outside of the loony tunes, Drusilla and Darla, that actually liked him.

Anyway, the sun's going down soon. I think Spike's going to go hunting while he tries to find someplace to stock him up on blood for the trip away from what we knew in Sunnydale.

I hope he's successful. He isn't protecting me very well if he feeds off of me, is he?