Jeez, I'd think you guys would be happy I was updating! According to my reviews for Suicide, you want me to update it or Dead of Night first!
But, even if this isn't everybody's favorite piece of work, it needed to be updated. And I know you like it to some extent; otherwise you wouldn't be reading it!
Everybody, I present the third chapter of More! Enjoy! I think that it could possibly qualify under the T rating.
Disclaimer: (sighs) If I make another public statement that I own the TMNT, I'll be slapped with a lawsuit. So, I don't own them… yet.
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Just 'cause ya live with someone for a few years, a lifetime even, doesn't mean ya know how they'll act in different situations. Life with my brothers is full of surprises. One minute, they're completely normal. The next, ya find out your version of normal was a long way off. Ya find out that there's a few more things goin' on in their head than ya think.
But that don't mean you can't always predict how they'll act. You'll still know a lot of things about the person ya grew up with. Like how they're feelin'. I know my brothers at least that much. Ya can just sense those little feelings about them. Joy. Mercy. Pain. Fear. Things like that.
Ya also get to see how you feel about them.
Mikey gets on my nerves almost every day. I think he does it just for the fun of it. But humor's also his way of dealing with stress; with pain. Just like how anger results when I'm in a place like that. That's just hard to remember when he's throwin' water balloons at ya.
But Mikey's there for ya when ya need him. He's even there when ya think you don't need him. He's someone who can help ya get through things. Heck, he smiles and ya feel better.
Or, just makes ya wanna beat his brains out. But mostly the first thing, when you're feelin' down.
It's funny. Ya'd think you'd be the one that'd need to comfort him. And while that's how it usually works, Mikey can see when you need the same thing. And he understands- or, tries to understand.
As much as I can't stand him sometimes, he's still my brother. I can't hate any of my brothers.
Donny's a great guy. As far as temperament goes, he's completely opposite from me. He's the peaceful one. He won't fight unless he needs to. It's not that he can't; he does all the time. It's impossible not to with what we do. But Don can see that problems don't always have to be solved with fists. And I think he wishes that things would never have to be solved that way at all.
Then, who can forget, Donny's also the smart one out of us. All of his little gadgets come in a lot of handy. Not to mention the big stuff.
Ah, gotta love that Shell Cycle.
Anyways, he has other areas of expertise in combat. Like when Leo has a massive case of brain fade, when he does some of the stupidest things imaginable, Don can get us out of it. I don't thank him enough.
All right, I guess I don't give enough credit to Leo sometimes either. I mean, he's gotten us out of a lot of bad situations too, despite the fact that he's gotten us into some of those places we have to fight out of as well.
And we need him. Not just 'cause he's a natural leader or a warrior, but because of his strength. Leo won't give up; he doesn't know how. He may think about it, he may come dangerously close to doing so, but he never does. Guilt eats away at his soul constantly.
I fight with him too much. It's hard not to. We want the same things, mostly, but we just have different ideas of how that works. Our personalities clash too much. Leo has anger; ya just don't see it too often. That's one of the bigger differences between us. I let it out like exhaled air. He'll hold it in until he can't breathe. But it comes out, sometimes with more force than my own. And then he'll just breathe it back in. Leo lets it kill him from the inside, for reasons I still can't understand.
But then, as you must know, his anger is nothin' compared to mine. That's my most memorable trait, right? I'm the guy that goes off and beats thugs into a living pulp. First of all, they deserve it. But I gotta admit, it's a helluva lot of fun.
Yeah, that's me. But I'm more than a hothead.
I'm disciplined… to some extent. I fight with just as much honor as the rest of my brothers. Sure, a little more violently sometimes, but just as fair. Any death that results from my hands was made for a just reason. I don't kill people for the fun of it. I have that much restraint. I ain't a mass murderer; I respect life.
Actually, with the exception of maybe Mikey, I think I'm the one that values life the most. While Leo will fight to the death for practically every person in a jam, he's careless with his own life. Don values others above himself too, but not to the extent that Leo takes it.
I'll fight for others too; I ain't heartless. But I have a different outlook on my existence. My life isn't just about fighting or doing the right thing. I'm gonna make the best of it while I still have it. The chances are very high that I might not be around all to much longer, with all the freakin' assholes we have to deal with these days. I want to go out knowing I accomplished a few things I set out to do for myself.
After all, life is for the living soul. If I just do what I'm told all the time; what makes me any different than Donny's remote-controlled gizmos?
No, I'm gonna do what I want, even if my bros don't share my enthusiasm. Their lives belong to them while mine belongs to me.
Now don't get me wrong. I really care about my brothers. They're practically all I got in this world. While I wouldn't abandon them or do anything that would hurt them, they aren't my whole life. I'll always be there for 'em.
But when I get the chance, I'm gonna live my life the way it was meant to be. There's some things that are out there just for me.
Everybody gots their own dreams, fears, chances. Naturally, I got a few of my own.
So we can set the record straight, I am not afraid of bugs. Ugh, nasty little critters. I hate 'em, but I ain't scared of 'em; with their damn multiple body parts, and annoyin' wings…
Man, I hate bugs.
Anyways, as for what I want to do with my life, well, there really ain't much I can do. Most people my age are thinkin' about their future, like their careers and shit.
I don't get that chance.
Remember what I said about dyin'? When I do, no one's gonna remember me. We protect this damn city and we don't even get a damn thank-you.
'Cause we're freaks.
I was the first one out of my brothers to know that we were different. And that doesn't even involve my trips to the surface when we were kids. Ya just watch TV for a while and ya start to see things.
Yeah, never did see another mutant turtle. You'd see these little kid shows with the talkin' animals, but ya never saw anything like us.
Somehow, my brain made the connection. We're freaks, and no one's ever gonna except us.
And that really pisses me off.
I mean, we breathe the same air as the rest of the planet; take in the same pollution. We understand the same things that any person does. Heck, Donny understands more than the average person does. By now, we've done more for this city, even for the world, then most people are ever gonna do in their lives.
And it's not just that they'd never except us, they'll never even know who we are. Some people complain about being just a face in the crowd. We don't even get that.
I guess we're like the wind. What we do impacts the world, but they can't see us. Maybe I shouldn't be complainin', but it still don't seem right.
I want the chance to walk down a street without wonderin' if people are comin'. And I wanna keep on walkin'; get out of this place. Just… go. Somewhere. I'd come back. Maybe not right away, but I would.
I'm the one that needs to get away. I can't stand bein' stuck here. Stuck with dreams that'll never come true. Ya probably have had the same feelin' before.
If I stay here, it won't do anybody a bit of good. Obviously, I can lose my temper quickly, and I'll lose it with my family if I'm kept here for too much longer. Goin' up topside with Casey can only work so long.
But who knows if I'd be able to actually do anything when I'm gone. New York City's actually a bit more promising when ya think about it. It's bigger and no one looks up. I go somewhere else, and I'm bound to be spotted.
Even if, somehow, I was able to keep hidden for a while. Somewhere, down the line, I'd lose my temper; draw attention to myself.
Then I'd be back where I'd started. At least with my bros, I know that they can see there's more to me than my temper. Well, I hope so anyways.
And they can see me; they have seen me. Maybe I'd be better off stickin' around. I mean, that's really my point. I want people to see more than my appearance and my temper. Wherever I go, that's not gonna happen.
At least here, people see the Raphael without his temper. At least people see me. Can't say that for the rest of the damn world.
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Only one more chapter to go and then I'm done with this story! Yay!
Hmm… I need to start thinkin' up more ideas! I'm runnin' low! Yikes!
Well, this chapter was definitely not my best work. I think I got a little sidetracked. However, I don't think it was that bad. (sighs) Watch this. The minute I show more confidence, I'll be proven wrong. Oh, the irony!
Sorry it took so long to get it up. Would've been up last week, but I was busy puking my guts out. And wouldn't it figure, five of ya decide to update when I'm sick; after I waited a week with only one update!
Oh well. I have work to do. (crumples up paper) No, that's a dumb idea. (back to readers) Anyways, see ya! Please review!
Oh! Wait! I got a game to play! Ya don't have to play if you don't want to. Don't know why I'm puttin' it up, really. Must be the Captain Crunch at four in the morning. Anyways, I've been mentioning fears in every chapter. So, who wants to guess my greatest fear?
Three hints. 1) I've never mentioned it in any of my stories. 2) It's an unusual fear. I've never met any one who shares it with me. And 3) An old, black-and-white episode of The Twilight Zone reinforced it a few years ago.
That should be good enough. Now I won't be surprised if you get it, but I won't be shocked if you don't. Whoever can get it will get…I don't know. I'll figure out something. Maybe a reasonable request, or something like that.
Answer will be revealed next chapter! Well, whenever it is that I can get it up.
See ya!
