Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing except my blue hair.

Author's Note: I'm sorry it's been so long until the update. I had no idea what to write for this chapter, and I went away for a week. No computer access, lots of singing and praying in the mountains. I had a good time though. But look! An update. I know, I know, took me forever. I don't even know if anybody will read this after going so long between updates. Maybe you all gave up on me?

On the plus side, look! 100 reviews! That's a pretty number. Sorry, I've got a headache and I say random things when that happens.

Replies:

DaydreamQueenMisha—Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. Wow. You read all 5? Yeah, Holly's a little childish, I couldn't help it. I'm trying to make her grow up, but it's not easy. I don't think there's going to be anymore Artemis/Alyssa in this story, but I've got an idea for another one with them in it after I'm done with this one. Artemis has to decide what to do for Alyssa for her birthday and what to get her for a present. What do you think of that?

OrangUtang 100—I'll take that as you're reserving further judgment?

Evil Asparagus Eater—Thanks. Holly/Trouble is my favorite pairing and I like Artemis/Alyssa. I had to come up with an OC for him because I never really liked pairing him with Juliet.

Sweetdeath04 and Thorney—Glad you like it so much. Hehe. I think that's the last of Arty for this story, but he may be back. I just had a brainwave.

Sam—hehe. Who would have ever thought Arty would make such a good boyfriend?

Maiden Genisis—Thanks. I'm sorry the update was delayed. For lame excuses as to why, see Author's Note.

Holly Rox—Thanks. I didn't know what else I could possibly add to that scene to make the chapter longer. I tried. They might appear one more time in this fic, or they might not.

Mad sam—hehe. Groovy bananas. I prefer swanky carrots personally. Thanks!

Jubily-Lollypops—Thanks. Sorry it's been so long since I updated!

Slime frog—:::snork::: Hehe. Arty and romance. Who would have known? Word thinks Foaly isn't a word. It's his name. Of course it's a word. Stupid Word. Did you know straight jackets come with matching masks? I heard they were for decoration, but my brother keeps insisting that they're so I can't bite people anymore. : - )

On with the story at last!

Chapter 10: All This Trouble For a Sandwich

Holly entered the deli, pushing Willow in front of her in the stroller. She fervently hoped nobody from work would be in here. D'Arvit. She had no such luck. Lili Frond was at a corner table, flirting with one of the male officers. Chix Verbil was sitting at another table. She should have waited until after the main lunch break time to come.

Fortunately, Chix was so involved in watching Lili and Lili and her date were so involved with each other, that the three of them failed to notice Holly and Willow. However, Holly knew the deli owner fairly well. He was a shrewd gnome who noticed everything that went on in his shop and outside it's windows.

"What's with kid?" he asked, as she approached the counter.

"Don't get me started," she s aid, rolling her eyes.

"No, tell me or you don't get your sandwich. You've been coming in here for years and you never had a kid. Where did this one come from?"

"Well, Ted, when a man and a woman—"

"Cut the wise-talk. Trouble had this kid in with him yesterday. I think it was the same one." He blinked, wondering if maybe Holly and Trouble were keeping a whole stash of secret kids around or something. "He was looking for you like crazy."

"The kid came from work. I can't really say more than that."

"Nothin' more than that?" he asked, fixing Holly's usual order.

"All I can say is that I got saddled with taking care of her. Sexist police force. I don't know anything about kids and they handed her to me because I'm a girl." Holly rolled her eyes, hoping that now Ted would leave her in peace. Maybe she should take the sandwich to go. With any luck, she could get out before the other LEP officers saw her.

But of course for Holly, fate was gong to be against her.

Ted peered over the counter at Willow, who was sloppily wrapped in a blanket. "Kinda cute little bugger, i'n' she?"

Holly rolled her eyes. "All babies are pink and fat. Can I get my sandwich and go or am I gonna have to go back to work and look for a buzz baton to smack you with?"

Ted muttered something about "moody female elfs" and handed her the sandwich.

She tossed the gold on the counter and took the sandwich. She put it on top of the stroller and turned around. Unfortunately, it was at that precise moment that Chix looked up to ask Ted to bring him something to drink. Ted would never do it of course. His motto was, "I don't deliver, in store or out." But Chix asked anyway, and when he did, he caught sight of Holly walking away from the counter.

"Ted, I need anoth—Hey, Holly. Lookin' good. Who's the rugrat?"

"Verbil, you mind your own business," she growled. "Or else I'll see if I can find persuade Root to lower your rank."

Chix laughed. "I'm a Private. I can't go anywhere but up now, can I?"

"I'll have him demote you to trash duty then," she snapped.

"I was jus' bein' friendly, Holly. No need for threats."

"That's Captain Short to you, Private." Her badge said Short-Kelp, but she still preferred Short.

Of course, the words between the two of them had finally managed to attract Lili's attention. She bounced out of her seat, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Holly!" she squealed, as though they were best friends who hadn't seen each other in years. "How are you? You haven't been at the Police Plaza. Where were you?" She caught sight of the baby. "Oh, I see you've been busy while you've been gone."

"Corporal Frond, I've only been gone since yesterday afternoon." She tried to keep her voice level and gestured at the baby. "This isn't mine."

"Oh, of course. How silly of me. How is Trouble? I hardly get to see him anymore," she pouted.

Holly wanted to punch her teeth in. Really she did. Trouble was a married elf and Frond was acting as though Trouble was single and unattached. "His name to you is Lieutenant Colonel Kelp, and he is at the Police Plaza. I suggest you get yourself back there on time if you don't want Root to dock your pay or put you on suspension."

"You spoil all my fun," she huffed. "Can't you see I'm on a date?"

"Can't you read your moonometer? Oh right, you can't read." Holly knew that was a low shot and that while Lili Frond was not the brightest glow cube in the box, she could at least read. Whether or not she could understand anything with more than 5 letters of course was another story. "At any rate, you're due back at the office in 10 minutes if I'm not mistaken."

"You ruin all my fun. Aren't you supposed to be on duty today too?"

"I am and it's none of your business."

Lili sniffed angrily and tossed her hair over her shoulder. She looked back at her date. He was a Corporal. "Come on, Chip. We've got to get back to the Police Plaza or Holly will tell Beetroot on us."

"Are you implying that I'm a snitch?"

"What do you think?" she asked haughtily. "We all know that you're Root's favorite officer."

Holly thought to herself, The idiot probably doesn't know what the word implying means. "I don't even know how to respond to that. My career has been one fiasco after another ever since the Hamburg incident."

"And yet you're still with the force. What does that tell you?"

"That I'm a good officer worth keeping around. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got an assignment to get back to." Holly started pushing the baby carriage out of the shop and down the street.

Lili and Chip stayed inside, but Private Verbil followed Holly out. "Where ya goin'?"

"Home."

"Can I walk ya?"

"No."

"Why not? Haven's dangerous. Yeh need a big strong man to make sure nobody comes after ya."

"I can take care of myself, Private." She was sorely tempted to going to the Police Plaza to talk to Root, but she had no interest in Chix escorting her all the way there.

"Fine, Cap'n. Jus' give a shout if ya need me." Chix turned and started walking back toward the Police Plaza.

Holly tried to decide where to go. She'd go see Frank. Maybe he would have some advice to offer. "C'mon, Willow. I'm sure this afternoon has been very educational for you. That lady you saw was a bimbo. That sprite you saw was a vain jerk."

Willow gurgled.

"The gnome behind the counter? Well, he's just nosy. I don't know anything about that Chip guy. He's new. Part of one of the other units." She reached the barbershop and went inside.

Frank had a bemused expression on his face when he saw her. "I see you haven't broken her yet."

"Not yet," she sighed.

"What happened?"

"I ran into some people from work. You know Julius Root pretty well, don't you?"

"I've known him for decades."

"He doesn't play favorites or give special treatment to anyone. Right?"

"I don't know about his work. You'd be better off talking to somebody from the Police Plaza."

"Who knows him as well as you do?"

"I don't know."

"A lot of help you are. I got accused of getting special treatment."

"By who?"

"Lili Frond."

"I don't know her, but from everything you've told me, she's got more air in her head than can come out of a dwarf's rear end."

"That's true," she admitted.

"So she sounds like you shouldn't believe a word she says."

"But what if she's right for a change? What if other people feel the same way? I've got to go clear my head. Thanks anyway, Frank."

Frank had picked Willow up and was holding her. "I'll let you be going then." He started to pass Willow back to Holly, but Holly put her hands up.

"No way. If I hold her, she'll start crying again. Just put her back in her cart."

"If you say so…"

Twenty minutes later, Holly was entering the Police Plaza. She immediately sought out Foaly in the Ops Booth. She buzzed to be let in. "Foaly, it's me."

"Just a minute," came the voice through the speaker. He clicked some keys and the door opened.

"Are you busy?" she asked, politer than usual.

"Not really. Just trying to come up with a new wing design."

Holly grinned. Opal Koboi was power mad and probably crazy, but she still had the best wing design out there. The Doubledex wings were unsurpassed. Then she remember why she'd come here to see him. Foaly had been key in all the Artemis Fowl things that had gone so crazy and wrong. Nothing went on at the Police Plaza without Foaly knowing. Not to mention, Foaly didn't know how to keep his mouth shut; it'd gotten him in trouble often enough. "Do you think Root favors people?"

"How do you mean?"

"Giving them special allowances for things. Ignoring it when they make mistakes."

"Special allowances like spending three days on the surface?" he asked.

"Well…"

"You went up there and got a lot of vital information for the Artemis Fowl case file," he reasoned.

"I went up because Fowl was calling in a favor and I wanted to satisfy my own curiosity."

"This didn't bother you a month ago, Holls. What's wrong?"

"I've gotten the impression from other officers that Root goes easy on me and makes special allowances."

"Holly, Julius is the last person who could ever be accused of being sentimental. Haven't you told me often enough about the torment he put you through when you were first bumped up to Recon. The first female Recon officer. The test case."

"I know but…"

"Holly, do you trust me?"

"Sure, I do. I've gone into tons of dangerous situations with nothing but a gun on my hip and your voice in my ear."

"Then trust me now."

"All right, I'll trust you this time, Foaly," she said, with a little bit of a grin.

Foaly picked up Willow and started rocking her in one arm while he typed in a few key commands with the other.

"Where'd you get so good with kids, Foaly?"

"What? You thought my wit was my only natural gift?"

The buzzer rang. Somebody else wanted to get in the Ops Booth.

Ooh, a cliffhanger. Who is it? Chix? Chip? Lili? Trouble? Root? Grub? The annoying guy who first handed Willow to Holly? Wait and see. The review button is shiny. Everyone loves shiny things.