Disclaimer: I own nothing. So sad. So sad.

Author's Note: I know it's been awhile, but this is a longer chapter and it's flying now! I won't say much more, I'm just going to let you get to reading. Thanks to Maiden Genisis, YankeeTorp, slime frog, and Sweetdeath04 for reviewing!

One last thing, by all my calculations, in all those other chapters, Willow has only been with Holly and Trouble for 2 days. Wow, I thought it'd been longer. Anyway, this takes place a few days after that.

Chapter 13: Scheming

Holly was jogging down the street, burning off some of her energy and anger. Trouble was certainly infatuated with that child. And there seemed to be nothing she could do about it short getting rid of her. But she couldn't just throw her out. That would be wrong. She had to find that girl some family. She had to have some left somewhere.

Willow had been staying with them for five days now and it didn't look as though things would be changing anytime soon. She spent her time taking care of Willow, instead of going to work. Root said that taking care of the girl was her assignment and it couldn't be changed. Holly thought it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.

Whenever Trouble was home, he doted on the infant.

Holly had never considered herself the needy kind before. Never felt that she was the sort who would want to seek attention. But that was before Willow. Now, she seemed unable to attract any of her husband's attention. It was all about the baby. It wasn't as though it was even their child. He was just playing at being daddy. The longer he let himself play this game, the harder Holly knew it was going to be for him to separate with the child when the time finally came. Maybe the time would come at the rate things were progressing. It seemed less and less likely that any of Willow's relatives would ever be found. She contemplated calling Root and telling him to find a foster home for the child, but harassing her boss wouldn't help matters. He'd just say that there was always the possibility that for whatever reason her guardians had been killed for, the ones who did it might just want to come back and finish the job. In which case, the girl needed a protected home, and where better than the home of two of the LEP's finest officers? No, talking to Root again wouldn't do any good.

She mused to herself. Maybe the girl could go live above ground with the Mud People. Just for a while. So her ears would be a little pointy, so what? She'd look normal enough, just a little short.

It would never work.

She was thinking crazily. She couldn't stand to be cooped up in that house any longer with that child, or with her husband the way he was acting. Trouble wasn't himself lately. Or, maybe, this was the real Trouble? She hadn't known him growing up. They hadn't met until they were both in the force. They'd entered around the same time mostly. Well, Trouble had entered a few months before her, but it was close enough.

Holly found herself by the Police Plaza without realizing that that was where she had gone. She'd had no intention of coming here. But she might as well go in now that she was. She might as well go in and see Foaly. Again. She sighed. She'd never been so bored since leaving traffic duty. Except maybe that time she was put on stakeout. Horrible. Absolutely horrible that was.

Speaking of horrible…she realized that she hadn't emailed Fowl back in about a week. She hadn't even read what must have been his last letter. When she'd gone in for work she hadn't gotten to check her mail before Root gave her Willow. Since then, she never thought about it when she went back, trying to get rid of Willow.

She probably ought to check the letters from Fowl. She went inside, straight to the Ops Room, going in as soon as Foaly buzzed her inside.

"Foaly, I need to check my mail. I haven't checked last week's letter from Fowl yet."

"Where's the kid?"

"Trouble has her. I don't know how we'll ever get rid of her."

"You still want to get rid of her? She hasn't grown on you?"

"Foaly, I don't like kids. Especially a kid that is too young to take care of himself. I want my husband back. I want my job back. I want my life back."

Foaly shrugged, typing away. "I wish there was something I could do for you."

"Do you mean that?"

"Sure. But there's nothing I could do," he said confidently.

"Pretend to be sick for a few days and take her," Holly said quickly. Why hadn't she thought of it before? Foaly seemed to get along with her well enough.

"Sorry, Holly, but no way, no how, is that going to happen," he said.

"Please, just for a day."

"No, not happening."

She glared at him. "Fine. Let my marriage be destroyed. See if I care. Let me check my mail."

Foaly rolled away in his chair, letting her at the computer. She opened her special mail account that had been rigged to connect with the Mud Boy's computer and opened her first unread message. It said all the usual stuff about his parents still being unable to find a suitable school for him and how his date with Alyssa went. She opened the next one, which had been sent just a few days ago.

Greetings, Captain.

I hope this letter finds you well, though perhaps not, as you've yet to respond to my last letter. Things have been progressing well here. My parents are on a trip to our summerhouse on the beach in France. They'll be there for another two weeks or so I believe. Alyssa is over the house again for a few days. And Butler is keeping a sharp eye on us, as always.

My investments in organic produce overseas seem to be paying off handsomely. Some people will buy anything. Please reply at your earliest convenience. I trust you've not come to harm in the line of duty. Criminals are ever so dangerous.

Artemis Fowl II

Holly read the letter, imagining the smirk on Fowl's face as he wrote, "criminals are ever so dangerous". She grinned. The Mud Boy had been worried about her. Somewhat at least. She started to type her reply without any idea about what she intended to say.

Artemis,

I'm well enough. But I've got a favor to ask. What do you know about babies? I'll explain more soon. Reply ASAP.

Holly

She hit send. "Let me know as soon as he responds," Holly said, going back to the door, a hint of a smile on her lips. The first smile in what seemed like ages.

Foaly did not like that smile. Holly was clearly planning something big. "How can I do that? I don't have your password," he said innocently.

Holly looked back at him from the doorway, one eyebrow arched. "As if you can't hack into the account whenever you want to?" She turned and left.

Foaly sighed. "I hope you know what you're getting into, Holls," he said quietly, knowing she was gone. He stared at the screen, willing a reply to show up.

Artemis came in his room, flipping the light on. Alyssa had left three days ago, but would be back again the tomorrow. He never thought it was possible to miss someone like he missed Alyssa. He'd missed his father terribly when he'd been gone for two years, but this was different. So much different.

He went online and checked his email. Holly had finally replied, but the letter offered no real information. Babies? What did babies have to d with anything at all? Did Holly think she was pregnant or something? Artemis shuddered. The thought of Captain Holly Short as a mother was truly terrifying. He wouldn't want to be the one footing the bill for that child's therapist. It didn't seem likely that her husband was the fatherly sort either.

He typed out a reply.

Captain,

I must confess, your last letter baffles me, though it's good to hear that you're well. What exactly is this favor you need?

As far as babies are concerned, I know what they are. They are young people who cannot properly take care of themselves and cry far too often. Though, I must admit, being an only child I don't know much about firsthand experience with young children. Why do you ask?

Puzzled,

Artemis Fowl II

He sent it and started visiting websites to see how his stocks were doing on the global market, not knowing how quickly the letter would be replied to.

Foaly uploaded some new ocean charts, and they were partway done when his voice came out of the screen. "You've got mail, you handsome centaur."

He abandoned the charts momentarily and opened Holly's email easily enough. He read Fowl's email and gave Holly a call.

"Foaly? What are you doing calling so soon? The phone was ringing as I walked in the door."

"Fowl replied back," he said.

"And?"

"He wants to know what you're on about. But he didn't give an outright 'no' to whatever you got planned."

"That's because I haven't told him yet. I'll be at the Police Plaza soon. Trouble hasn't even really noticed I'm home yet. He's been watching Willow since he got off his shift." She hung up and started back out, telling Trouble that she'd be home soon.

He didn't even acknowledge her.