A/N: I used the specs on current guns mainly because I am not imaginative enough to make up stuff for the future weaponry. Same reasoning applies for the current medications.
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River watched as Jayne sat at the dining table. In front of him several gun lie in parts, but twice as many were already cleaned and recently assembled.
As he slid the barrel back on Boo, Jayne noticed her hanging on to the partition between the kitchen and the dining room.
"Ain't you got nothin' better to do than park yourself there?" he sneered at her and blew into the barrel.
"No. Nothing better...nothing at all. Only so many things I can clean," she added apologetically.
"Where the hell is your gorram brother? Go bother him, or Kaylee. They owe me," Jayne told her coarsely.
"Sunshine and strawberries is otherwise occupied. She locked herself in her room; Simon is SUCH a boob."
"Yeah, well tell me something I don't know. I can only imagine what he done now to upset her. Why ain't you hanging out with him?" he complained.
"Dr. Frankenstein is preparing trial medications--regimines with different combinations and strengths of fluoxetine, maprotiline, chlorpromazine, lithium, haloperidol and levodopa. Must fix the living dead-girl," she said morosely.
Sounds like a lot of stuff to be taking," Jayne offered, shocked at the number of medications she named even though he had no idea what they actually did. He also felt bad since it was partially his fault she was regressing. He had been avoiding her since the incident in his bunk a few days ago, and he knew his presence calmed her for some odd reason.
He just wasn't sure he wanted her poking around in his head right now. He had too much on his mind, ironically, and he had yet to talk to Mal about Jester.
"Yes, too much," she said cryptically. "And too many incorrect medications at that. But it is all he knows, all he has. If only he would just see, and listen," River finished as she eased over to the table, pulled out a chair and sat opposite Jayne.
At his wary glance, she looked him in the eye and stated firmly, "NO touching guns. I know, I just want to observe."
River then pointed to one of the reassembled pieces and cited, "50 A.E. brushed chrome, Desert Eagle Mark XIX, 6-inch barrel, effective range of 650 feet, polygonal rifling, right-hand twist, Trijicon 3-Dot green front/rear night set, 7 round capacity, hollow-point ammunition."
She picked another: "Smith & Wesson, .500 brushed stainless steel revolver, 10-inch stress-relieved and cut rifled barrel, MRI custom scope mount, 5 round capacity."
At Jayne's incredulous look she picked another and did the same for it.
"Ta ma de!" he exclamed, clearly awestruck. "That is ruttin' amazing!"
River grinned and sat on her hands, alternately kicking her feet to and fro.
"Did you memorize that outta some catalogue or have you been researching guns on the Cortex recently?" he asked, already knowing neither of these to be the answer. But he was unwilling to admit it to himself--unwilling to acknowledge what that might mean, to them all.
River shook her head and frowned, "Just KNOW it."
Trying hard to find a reasonable explanation, Jayne narrowed his eyes and said, "You can't just know that stuff, River. Took me a long while to know guns like that." He picked one up and looked at it, as if making sure that kind of info wasn't written on it.
"Here try this one," he said as he held up another and another--and another. Every one she pegged, and could even spot his own modifications.
"Huh."
And then he thought about what Kaylee had said regarding her accuracy at Niska's--with her eyes closed. She was also quick and cunning as the incident with Early suggested. Didn't seem to be afraid of anything except "Blue Hands" and whatever these dream dragons were, and she was a genius to boot.
If she had bigger tits she'd be pretty damn well near-perfect, he thought. Except for the whole feng le part, of course. That there was the deal breaker in his opinion, no matter what she felt like in his arms or how soft those two kisses had been.
"Oh well," he said to no one in particular.
Suddenly, River dropped to her knees and scrambled under the table. When she scooted up close to his knees, Jayne exclaimed, "What the HELL?"
"Shhhh. Please? Respite from the torment. I keep him awake, can't help it," River apologized. "He's going to stab me again and I do not want to lose today. It was a good day," she whispered frantically.
"I've missed you, though," she added.
Once again Jayne found himself feeling guilty so he nodded his head and felt her relax around his legs. He went on to cleaning and sharpening his knives.
Simon hurried into the room and was brought up short by the sight of the mercenary and his arsenal. When Jayne spit on the whetting stone, he curled his lip in disgust and asked, "Have you seen River?"
Sarcastically, Jayne replied, "Skinny little thing, scraggly hair, 'bout yay high?" he said as he gestured to chest level with his knife. "Once or twice, I think."
Simon rolled his eyes and snidely responded, "Today. Or rather, within the last hour or so. That is, provided something other than weaponry can hold your attention for longer than a heart-beat."
"Lotsa things hold my attention ain't guns, Doc. Pretty legs, soft skin, warm lips..." he paused, not liking where his thoughts were taking him or who he was imagining as he said it.
"Naw," he continued. "Ain't seen her today and I been here with my girls all afternoon. What's she done anyway to have you chasin' her with that needle again?"
"Not that it is any of your concern, but she needs to sleep. It's been 4 days and her mind is already fragile enough. Add sleep deprivation..."
4 days. That's how long I been avoidin' her, he thought guiltily. Jayne felt her tighten her arms around his legs from her hidey hole under the table.
"Well, I don't know where the gorram moonbrain got herself off to."
The last 4 words were said at a much higher pitch and as he partially lifted in his seat.
Simon only saw the outburst as another example of 'the man-ape gone wrong thing', gave him a wierd look and continued on in his search for his sister.
Angrily, Jayne scooted back his chair and ducked his head sideways under the table.
"Hey! What did you go and do that for?"
Evidently, River had pinched his ass.
"See if I help hide you again," he huffed.
Sadly, she answered, "Words wound as deeply as any knife. I don't like it when you call me that, especially out of anger."
Again, with the guilt he thought.
River quickly pressed her lips to his and kissed him soundly. Then she climbed out from under the table and smiled tiredly. "And you will always rescue me from the needles. You can't resist any opportunity to vex Simon."
Jayne smiled lop-sidedly and chuckled a bit. "Guess you're right about that."
"Yes, and the sooner everyone realizes that I am always right, the better off we'll all be."
Then she giggled.
Jayne grabbed her and tickled her playfully, the know-it-all imp.
Then he looked her in the eye and said seriously, "Simon's got a point, though; you gotta sleep River."
"Will you fight my dragons?" she asked fearfully.
"Ain't that what I am best at?" he answered as he puffed out his chest and flexed his muscles.
River smiled brightly this time, and took him by the hand. When it appeared she was leading him to HIS bunk, he pulled back sharply.
"OH hell no! You ARE trying to get me spaced! I can't fight no dragons if I get put out, girl."
You could then tell that River was tired, because rather than argue she nodded and turned in the other direction toward her own room.
"Not likely to look for me there, ironically. Still thinks I am hiding."
Somehow they made it to her room without running into Simon, or anyone for that matter. Once there, she was barely able to crawl face-down into the bed. Jayne covered her gently and heard her even breaths. And her soft, kitten-like snores.
With a smile, he bent down...and froze when he realized what he was about to do.
But with a shrug he thought, What the hell, and kissed her lightly on the side of her head, then slid the kiss to her cheek.
Jayne grabbed the extra pillow beside her, sat down by the bed, and tucked it behind his back. He quickly looked to make sure the door was WIDE open so that no one accused him of anything improper. Satisfied that it was, he took ahold of her dangling hand, leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes.
Yep, apples, he decided. River definitely smelled like apples.