"I don't think that I can go back, Kelly. Clamp." Stated the man from behind his surgical mask as shells exploded around them. The ceiling was crumbling down onto the patient before him and every five seconds he found himself, along with the nurse assisting him, draped over the body in order to keep the wounds clean. The Hawaiian looking nurse handed him the instrument and offered a sympathetic look. A frown was gracing her lips behind her own surgical mask. "That is understandable, Sir." Was her own simple reply. What more could she say to this battle worn soldier in front of her? He wasn't just a doctor anymore. Being on the frontline changed people and the man in front of her definitely changed. But soon the conversation was forgotten as the steady flow of causalities began to pour in. The hours began to run together. The sun chased the moon out of the sky twice before the flow stopped and all was quiet.
With a tired sigh the man untied his mask and left it drop to the dirty floor. No, not just dirty. But actual dirt floor. Scratching the back of his neck he stepped out of the ruins of the hospital and squinted into the sunlight. The gold clusters on his collar catching the sun rays and reflecting them onto a nearby crumbled wall. He couldn't believe that it was already morning. It seemed like just hours ago he was sitting in his makeshift tent listening to two of his Corporal's argue over a baked ham that one of them received from home while the other stole it. He listened to them bicker for a while before giving them a lecture on the importance of comradery during a time of war. Then he sent them off to their tents to cool off just in time for ambulances to pull up, loaded with wounded. He didn't really mind having to listen to the bickering. It made him think of better times. A time when he wasn't in charge of the 309th Aid Station right at the front line. A time when he didn't have to operate in primitive conditions that would make the local Korean's laugh. Yes. That's how bad it was.
His thoughts are interrupted when he hears a shuffling of dirt behind him. A hand automatically slides to his firearm, which was strapped to his side and worn at all times, but stops when he sees the nurse that was assisting him earlier. "You did good in there today, Kelly." He says quietly. The nurse only shakes her head. "Thank you, Sir. But you're the one that should be getting the praise. Anyone else would of given that boy up for dead. But you worked until you were sure that he'd make it." She offers him a grim smile before leaning against a nearby section of wall that wasn't really attached to anything. "Do you want to talk about it?" She questioned.
His eyes moved from the sunny, blue sky to her. He eyed her intently for a moment before beginning to speak. "We've been through a lot, Kelly. A year. Can you believe that? We've only been here for a year. So much has changed. We've changed. How can I go back to something that seems so far away?" He sounded like a lost little boy instead of a Major in the United States Army. "How can I face those people when I'm not the same man that they remember?" He tore his eyes away from her and scanned the scenery before him. It looked like a normal April day. The birds were singing. The grass was swaying in a gentle breeze and the air smelled of flowers if you got passed the smells of war. The only thing that made it different from a normal April day was the sound of orders being given from behind the nearest hill since the front was just beyond that hill. "A year." He said in awe. Still amazed that he lasted this long. This long in this place. It had to be some kind of a record. His eyes then wavered back to her. Searching for the answers but knowing that she probably didn't have them to give.
Nurse Kelly left out a barely audible sigh as she watched the man. Her friend. They had been together since the beginning. But not really friends until a year ago. Since they both were transferred to the Aid Station. "Yes. We've been through a lot, Sir. More than we probably should. But do you remember what you told me the day we arrived here?" She didn't wait for his response. "I asked you about being scared and you said that you were quaking in your boots but someone had to do it. Someone had to be here, saving lives. I really couldn't understand your calmness then. But now...Now I think I understand. You were trying to convince yourself, along with me, that we weren't coming up here to die. We were coming here to do our jobs and then go home. And so far...So far things aren't looking to bad. I know what going back means. Now let me say this. Someone has to do it. They need a good surgeon and you're the best that the Army has to offer. Think of the soldiers that could be helped. That could make it home. I think that's a good enough reason to go back, Sir." She patted him on the back and headed away from the hospital and towards her own tent to try and catch some sleep before anymore wounded began to pour in. So in total she'd probably only get an hour to two worth of shut eye. But she was used to it. They all were.
The young doctor listened to her as she spoke. And maybe he was wrong. Maybe she did have some of the answers or at least enough to make him feel a little bit better. She was right. Going back could mean more soldiers getting to go home alive. And that's what made him feel good. Good that he could be helping a kid get home to his folks. Or home to a sweetheart. A small smile was playing at the corners of his lips as he watched her head towards her tent. So with one last glance he headed towards his own, flopping onto the cot and closing his eyes. Soon he was ushered into the land of dreams. But it wasn't of pretty girls that he dreamed. It was of the his first few months here on the front.
The surgeon that he had replaced had been killed on his way to Tokyo for some R/R. His plane had been shot down. No one survived. A few days later he was reassigned to the Aid Station to help out. It was only supposed to be until they found a replacement. So he and Nurse Kelly packed up their bags and soon found themselves being greeted by the CO, Colonel Gregory Shepard. Things started out bumpy at first. Personality clashes and such. But soon they became good friends. And they remained friends up until his death little over 5 months ago. He was ambushed on his way to a local village to treat the children and elderly for a virus that had been going around. He was only a mile away from the Aid Station when it happened. So that left the then Captain in charge.
He went about his business as surgeon. Never once really thinking about how long they'd been there or if they'd ever go back from whence they came. He didn't become a Major until the fighting was practically knocking at their front door. He worked for five days straight without one wink of sleep, patching up the wounded and to top it all off he ran right out into the middle of the fighting to help move the men into the hospital to be treated. One of them happened to be a General who valued his life. And was amazed by the young doctors dedication to saving lives even if it meant risking his own. He was awarded several medals and the new rank, in which he accepted without one smart remark. He even accepted his command without protest. When asked about it, he'd always say that he was doing it for Greg. But everyone knew that he felt guilty for not being able to help the former CO and friend. This was his way of settling the score.
That wasn't the only change in him. Drinking was the first to go. It's been 5 months since he touched the stuff and he doesn't plan to anytime soon. He always said that he needed to have a clear head in case things got rough. Next to go was his sarcastic attitude. Sure, he still had his sense of humor but it was a rare sight to see. He was always considered a fair and just man. He never spoke ill of anyone nor did he favor the officers over the enlisted personal. He treated everyone human and equal. And everyone respected him for that.
But his thoughts as soon cut short as he is dragged from his state of dream by shouting. Wounded. Grudgingly he pulled himself out of bed and managed to make his way back towards the hospital, glancing at his watch seeing that he had been out for little over an hour. With a quick glance to his left he nodded a tired greeting to Kelly as she stumbled from her tent and towards the hospital. It was time to suit up. But he needed to do something first so once he got close enough to Kelly he began to spoke in a low whisper. "Thanks for what you said earlier." He then leaned down and gave her a friendly peck on the cheek. She gave him a smile. "Anytime Hawkeye. Anytime." She then set off to do her assigned tasks.
Elsewhere at the 4077th MASH
"Radar where is that report I asked for?" Fumed Colonel Potter. It wasn't like Radar to be late like this. Sure he had gotten slower since the departure of a certain doctor but that had been months ago. Surely he wasn't still hung up over it. Radar scurried in with report in hand. "Sorry Sir. I was on the phone with HQ. They found us that replacement surgeon that we've been looking for. He's going to be arriving in a few days from the 309th Aid Station. He's bringing a nurse with him. Apparently they're a box set." He set several papers down in front of the Colonel along with the report.
Colonel Potter eyed the young man in front of him and nodded. "Alright. Good job, Radar. What do you know about this fellow? Is he qualified? Those Aid Stations can produce some shady characters not to mention mentally unbalanced since they are so close to the fighting." He signed the papers, glanced over the report sighing it also and laid his pen down. "Yes Sir. I'm still waiting on his papers but HQ assures me that he's the best they have to offer. And as far as I know he's a Major who is also the Commanding Officer of the 309th. Their Colonel was killed five months ago and he got the job with the help of a very happy General that came across his cutting table. Before that he was only acting Commander. And I've also heard that he isn't to happy about being torn away from the front line. But that's all I've been able to find." Radar grabbed the papers and left the office.
Potter just shook his head and returned to reviewing the patient log for the day, double checking things before shipping it off to HQ. "Well doesn't that sound like a kick in the teeth. A doctor who likes being where the fighting is. I just hope we aren't getting another Frank Burns." He grimaced at the thought and made a mental note to tell Major Houlihan about the new replacement surgeon so she could prepare the nurses. Also he'd have to tell Winchester and Hunnicutt so they could get the swamp ready for a third occupant. But after that all he could really do it wait and see if the new doctor would fit into the close knit family at the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital.