Disclaimer: I own nothing but this icky keyboard whose space bar I broke last night.

Author's Notes: My loyal readers! It doesn't matter how long it takes me to update, you always come back. Thanks so much for your support you guys. It's why I haven't given up on writing Fowl fics, no matter how sidetracked I seem to get these days. This is a good-sized chapter, full of Artemis. Not counting author's note or disclaimer or replies, this chapter is 3500 words. Enjoy. I'll try and be more frequent about updates. Oh, and if anybody's read Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception and wants to discuss it email me or come chat on my message board (it's my homepage in the profile) it's lonely there. Email address is TrueTeenTypistATyahooDOTcom. Just change the AT to and DOT to . of course!

Oh, and if anybody has a better title for this chapter, let me know because I don't like one.

Replies:

Sam—No balance back yet. :evil grin: The fourth book is good. Not the best, but good. Did you still it from your friend to read yet?

Paul—Thanks!

Refloc—I've got stories that I ignore for awhile either A) because I don't like them :coughFORTRESSOFSHADOWScough: or B) because I don't know what to write (this one, Harry Potter 6, and Conversations with a Hat). I have an idea of what's going on now, so the updates should come faster.

Augurey Song—Yup, and there WILL be more of it!

Slime frog—Amusing as always! BTW, serious, not sarcastic! I love you're reviews; they're hilarious. They think she's alive. But how often is the LEP actually right? I'll let you ponder that…or maybe she IS alive and I'm just trying to make you nervous. They couldn't rotate the assignment because they didn't really trust anybody else with it; even though she's pretty volatile, they know Holly will always come through for them in a pinch. Vinyaya is a Council member so I see her as too intimidating for someone to just stick with a job, no matter how good an officer she was or how great a shot with the electric rifle. Let's just pretend goblins aren't that smart, shall we? As Foaly said, "Not enough energy in their brains to light up a glow cube." Hehe. Yes, I can see him walking around in a lovely maid's uniform with a Nanny cap on. Of course he doesn't know it yet…:evil laugh: Schools around here get Easter break too. Well, my school's Catholic so we had off Holy Thursday, Good Friday, the whole next week, and then we went back to school. Actual life department is nil, and homework: it's finals week and I'm still up to my ears in work! Don't worry. If I say glukenschmit the efficient looking bodyguards turn into kitty-cats and go prancing around, trying to break my windows. Look! There they go now.

Sweetdeath04—You'll see, you'll see! It'll happen again. The kid cannot possibly have enough lung power to cry every time Holly holds at. Thanks.

Eva Evans—Thanks! Really? I'm a big Holly/Trouble fan. Holly/Artemis pairings make me shudder, but I like them as friends.

Ahava—Yup! I put a post on my message board about AF4 but I think that the board officially died. Very sad. Holly'll grow out of it in a few decades…probably. But she's still REALLY young for a fairy and hopefully Trouble will learn a little patience. I thought about making Alyssa accidentally meet the baby, but it just didn't turn out that way when I wrote it. Thanks!

Holly Rox—Thanks!

Chapter 16: Preparations

Artemis checked his watch. It was 8:00 in the morning. He picked something from his closet and readied himself for breakfast.

Artemis senior, Angeline Fowl, Juliet, Butler, and Alyssa were all waiting at the table when he got there, shortly after nine o'clock.

"Good morning, Arty," his mother said, smiling warmly at him from across the table.

"Did you sleep well, son?" asked his father.

"Yes, I slept fine," said Artemis serenely, taking a piece of toast and buttering it.

"Son, your mother and I are going to be in the city today, I've got a surprise for her."

"You do, Timmy?" Angeline asked.

"Yes, just because." He smiled at his wife. "Just because I love you and you're beautiful. Artemis, don't forget that Alyssa's parents want her home in time for lunch."

"Yes, Father."

"Butler, see that the children don't dawdle too much," Angeline said. After all, they could dawdle a little; they were young and in love. Well, maybe love was too strong, but they did care about each other.

It wasn't long before both of Artemis's parents had left, leaving Artemis and Alyssa in the care of the Butler siblings.

Artemis brought Alyssa up to his room. They'd decided on playing a computer trivia game she brought. After making sure the disk was thoroughly free of viruses, he installed the program and they started to play, choosing the most obscure topics available to them and bypassing such easy ones as Famous Impressionists and Great Greek Poets.

When Alyssa left for a brief bathroom break, Artemis checked his mail. It was getting well on into the morning, nearly ten. Finding nothing of immediate importance when he checked his first three email addresses, he moved on to his special Holly account, hoping that she sent word that she was all right. What he found surprised him. He wished it hadn't it; he should have known something was wrong when she went so long without responding; he wished nothing was wrong and that Alyssa could stay. But he knew he didn't have time for childish wishes. By his calculations, Holly would be reaching the surface in four hours. He had to get Alyssa out of the house and on her way with Butler. If possible, he needed to provide transportation for Holly from Tara. So much to do, so little time.

He reread the missive. It was short, but the message was clear. If she'd had time for a longer explanation, she probably would have given it. This clearly meant that there was some sort of an emergency underground.

Artemis was closing the email just as Alyssa entered. She hung over his shoulder for a minute, the email having closed just before she could properly read it. "What was that?" She saw the look on Artemis's face and recognized it. She hadn't seen that look in a while, but she knew it was the look he had when he was trying to hide some sort of emotion, any emotion. Usually, it wasn't a good one. "What's wrong?"

Artemis kept his face composed, shutting down the computer. "My good friend the police officer seems to have run into some trouble. She needs some help. I have to go, Alyssa."

"Is there anything I can do?" she asked. She already knew the answer. The way his face said nothing, said everything.

"Just pack your things. I'm sorry." He truly was.

She nodded, unusually complacent, and started to walk out. She turned back at the door. "Junior, you know you can trust me, right?"

Artemis sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. "I know, Alyssa. Please. Pack." He watched her walk away. He wished he could tell her about the People. He did. She was such a skeptic; much like he himself was about most things. Still, it wasn't his secret to tell. He composed his face again, pulled the creases from his polo, and started for the stairs. He found Butler reading a guns and ammo magazine in the parlor.

"Butler?" Artemis said, his voice soft and clipped.

Butler recognized the tone of voice Artemis was using. "Yes, sir?"

"I have just received word from Captain Short. She is in need of our assistance. We have four hours to return Alyssa home, prepare for Captain Short's arrival, and go pick her up from Tara. I'll need you and Juliet in the study in ten minutes for instructions." Artemis was all business. He didn't have many friends, it was a shock he had any at all. It was clear that the few friends he did possess were important to him.

"What have you told Alyssa?" Butler asked, setting down his magazine and standing up.

"She knows I have a good friend among the police who has helped me out of a few scrapes and who I have also helped. Alyssa knew I was worried about this officer friend and I told her that I received word that she needed my help. I asked her to pack immediately. It's not as though she would have been here much longer today anyway; her parents wish her home by lunch." Artemis left the room. He needed to be in the study; he needed to think. All his best thinking was done there, surrounded by oak paneling and computers.

From the Manor it was an hour and a half drive to where Alyssa lived. If she delayed her half an hour, it would buy the extra time and get her home exactly when her mother wanted her home. He couldn't really let her leave sooner; if she got home early then his mother would be suspicious—their mothers had begun to converse with one another more frequently than Artemis would have liked. Think. Keep Alyssa at the Manor an extra half an hour…then send her home with…Juliet? Yes. Juliet. Butler could be in charge of picking up Holly. Artemis could make any necessary arrangements for her visit while Butler was at Tara waiting for her. Yes. This should work. If Juliet didn't run into traffic, she should be back at the Manor with an hour to spare to help with preparations. Everything was coming together. He needed an excuse to keep Alyssa around for half an hour since not ten minutes ago he was rushing her out of the house. Maybe he could just ask Juliet to take Alyssa home via back roads? No. Alyssa was smart. She'd notice the difference. He needed something less suspicious. An accident? A lost article of clothing or something? It could work.

Artemis concentrated. What could he misplace that she'd find worth staying for and that she would mind being without until the next time she came? Any sweaters or other articles of clothing left at the Manor wouldn't be missed, and if they were she wouldn't worried about them. What would she miss? Artemis's eyes wandered over the security screens he'd never bothered to take down; in the event of a hostile situation they could again prove useful someday. He studied each screen, eyes resting briefly as they passed over Alyssa's belongings. Her portable CD player was in the hallway, her purse was on the counter in the kitchen where it had been since yesterday afternoon, her favorite purple jacket was on the back of one of the armchairs in the living room, and her shoes were in the entrance hall. It appeared that all else must be in her room—the bedrooms did not have surveillance cameras; only the common areas of the house. The purse might work.

Artemis called Butler's cell phone. "Butler, go to the kitchen."

"I'm on my way, Artemis." According to the screens Butler had been on his way to the study, but he changed course directly and headed for the kitchen.

"Do you see Alyssa's purse, near the window?"

"Yes, sir."

"Bring it to the study with you. That is all." Artemis hung up, pleased momentarily. This should provide ample distraction until the time he needed Alyssa to depart at. Alyssa didn't have a driver's license or cell phone, so Artemis didn't know what was so important about keeping her purse with her, but she always had it with her. He considered looking through it when Butler brought it to the study to find out what was so special about it.

He spotted Juliet on the screen, coming out of Alyssa's room and called her on the house intercom system. He'd have to make sure she got a cell phone soon. "Juliet, please come to the study."

He settled back into his leather seat and Butler arrived shortly with the purse. Artemis almost chuckled at the sight of the large man holding the purse. Butler, remaining composed and as businesslike as always, handed over the purse.

Artemis turned it over in his hands. He was just starting to unzip it when Juliet knocked.

"Enter."

Juliet came in and saw him with the purse. "That's not your color."

He paused for a moment. "It's not my purse. It's Alyssa's."

"Arty, really, you should never go through a woman's purse."

Artemis looked up. A woman's purse? Artemis had always considered Alyssa to be…Alyssa. A completely different anomaly from a woman or girl or anything else. She was not some girl, or some woman; she was his girlfriend, which made her a completely different matter. He started to unzip it again.

"Juliet's right, Artemis. That's dangerous territory. You'll never know what you'll find," Butler warned him.

Artemis sighed, giving up for the moment and setting it on the desk. "Very well." He folded his hands in front of him. "We need to delay Alyssa for approximately twenty minutes. This is why I have her purse in my possession." He gestured to the object on the desk before him. "I know she will not leave without it. We have a situation here. Captain Short is in need of our assistance again. She will be arriving in less than four hours. Juliet, you will drive Alyssa home and she will arrive home at the planned time. I know if you left immediately she'd be early; that is why we are using the delaying tactic I have implemented. In five to seven minutes Butler shall put the purse in a slightly hidden location where she will stumble upon it. As you can see from the view screen behind me, she is searching around the house, gathering up her belongings as I requested her immediate departure less than fifteen minutes ago. To continue with the plan: Juliet, you will drive Alyssa back home. That is an hour and a half trip each way; three hours in all. Do not delay overmuch as it leaves only an hour for you to help with any necessary preparations once you return here. Butler, you will help me with any preparations here. Captain Short should arrive at Tara at two p.m. At one thirty I would like you to go to Tara and await her arrival. Do either of you have any idea as to how long my father's surprise is supposed to last for? My parents do not know about Captain Short and cannot find out about her presence."

"Your father gave me the impression that they'd be gone all day," Butler offered.

"Excellent. If either of them calls and one of you answers the telephone, encourage them to enjoy themselves and spend as long as they want together. I have no idea how long Captain Short will be remaining with us, but I know it's important. Juliet, offer to help Alyssa with her packing now. If she says she needs no help, go and warm up the car. Butler, continue to watch the monitors and judge the soonest opportune moment to return the purse to the kitchen. Place it somewhere partially in sight, but partially hidden in case she searched the kitchen already. Both of you go to your tasks. Now." He soon realized that he was gripping the desk firmly enough for his knuckles to have turned even paler than normal. He had lost all feeling in his digits. Artemis counted silently to ten as he let go of the edge of the desk. He stood up and walked out with Juliet, leaving Butler to tend to the monitors.

Artemis went to his room, but did not do what he was itching to do: look up and print out Holly's most recent emails. He was sure that there must be some sort of hint as to what was going on and it had to be in one of the earlier emails. The one he received this morning was short and to the point, revealing no extra information. He sat down on the edge of the bed, away from the temptation of the computer; if he were to open up or print out the emails and Alyssa found them before leaving it would only lead to awkward questions that he did not want to answer. When he heard footsteps passing by he asked, "Juliet?"

It was Juliet. She stopped outside the door, just out of his line of sight. "She said she didn't need my help. I'm off to start the car."

"Thank you, Juliet," he said simply.

She smiled for a moment before continuing on her path.

Artemis waited about another minute before getting up and looking for Alyssa. He ran across her in the hallway.

"Junior, have you seen my CD player?" Alyssa asked.

So she hasn't noticed about the purse yet, Artemis realized. "Didn't you leave it on the table in the hallway on the first floor?"

"If I knew that, I wouldn't have needed to ask," she said, her tone clearly exasperated. "I you want me out of here so badly, help me find my stuff."

Artemis was a little put-off. She'd snapped at him! It still unnerved him at times that she didn't always treat him with the eggshell respect he was used to; in that manner she reminded him of Holly.

She was six steps ahead of him and looked back, seeing that he hadn't followed her. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, but really! I come into the room, I know something is wrong and that you aren't telling me everything, but I accept that. I'm just a little edgy. I was looking forward to a relaxing morning, but here you are, going back to secrets and things I'm not allowed to know about. I don't like it." She shrugged; unaware of what else she could possibly say.

"If I could tell you I would, Alyssa. Believe me, I would. This is something I haven't told anyone, because it's not my secret to tell." Artemis knew it was odd for him to feel so emotional, but he couldn't help it.

"I told you that I understand. I don' like it, but I do understand. I just didn't like the look on your face a minute ago," she said.

"What look?" Artemis had a feeling he knew which look. The tone of voice and his whole bearing during his meeting with Butler and Juliet had put him back into the frame of mind from his pre-Holly and LEP days.

"I haven't seen that look in a while. Mostly in the few pictures I found of you online. Your face looks stiff, almost like you've had a little botox, and everything about you seems to say, 'I have all the cards, everything is going my way and there's nothing you can do about it.' But it's more intense than that. I don't know how to describe it. A look in your eyes, the way you stand, just everything." She shuddered.

Artemis put an arm around her. "I'm sorry." And he was sorry. "Let's go find your belongs."

She smiled.

Artemis looked around briefly and saw no one. Feeling a little adventurous he leaned down and kissed her. Admittedly there wasn't far to lean down as they were almost the same height, but Artemis knew that, had there been anyone around to observe them, they would have appeared rather picturesque. Butler, sitting in the study and seeing them on the screen, thought so too.

When they broke apart, smiling, she led him away and they looked for her missing things. The task was made easier by the fact that Artemis had seen most of the items on the screens in the study and knew where they were. He was careful not to find them too quickly however.

Still, it felt like all too soon for both of them when Alyssa finally pulled away from the driveway with Juliet after their final goodbyes.

When Alyssa was gone, Artemis returned to his room immediately and looked up his most recent letters from Holly. He printed them up and lay them out on his desk. The two most recent letters alone didn't provide much insight, so he added in the emails he'd sent to her, hoping that putting everything together in order might just shed some light on things.

Greetings, Captain.

I hope this letter finds you well, though perhaps not, as you've yet to respond to my last letter. Things have been progressing well here. My parents are on a trip to our summerhouse on the beach in France. They'll be there for another two weeks or so I believe. Alyssa is over the house again for a few days. And Butler is keeping a sharp eye on us, as always.

My investments in organic produce overseas seem to be paying off handsomely. Some people will buy anything. Please reply at your earliest convenience. I trust you've not come to harm in the line of duty. Criminals are ever so dangerous.

Artemis Fowl II

Artemis,

I'm well enough. But I've got a favor to ask. What do you know about babies? I'll explain more soon. Reply ASAP.

Holly

Captain,

I must confess, your last letter baffles me, though it's good to hear that you're well. What exactly is this favor you need?

As far as babies are concerned, I know what they are. They are young people who cannot properly take care of themselves and cry far too often. Though, I must admit, being an only child I don't know much about firsthand experience with young children. Why do you ask?

Puzzled,

Artemis Fowl II

Fowl,

That favor I asked about? I need it now. In 6 hours I'll be on the surface and I need you to clear out anybody who doesn't know about us before then. I'll be arriving shortly.

Captain Holly Short-Kelp

Even Artemis's sharp mind could not deduce much from the missives. Holly's letters were both clearly written in haste. She wanted to know what he knew about babies and she was coming up immediately. Was Holly pregnant? No, that didn't seem likely. She was still quite young for a fairy, not even in her seventies yet if he remembered correctly. He was sure he remembered correctly; his memory rarely ever failed him.

Deciding at last that the letters were of no use, he found Butler and asked his bodyguard to burn them. Though they had nothing about the People in them, and nothing particularly secretive, Artemis knew he'd feel better without letters to fairies floating around the Manor.

As Butler struck a match and set fire to the letters, placing them in the sink (so that the ashes could be disposed of down the drain), he asked, "Where will she be staying? Alyssa's guest room or her old cell?"

"Neither location. As we don't know when my parents will return, she cannot be left anywhere they might find her. Mother tends to check the room Alyssa usually stays in, making sure nothing has been left behind. As for her old cell…to put her back in a place of such hatred would be utter torture. I do not torture friends, Butler." He hesitated, "At least, I don't torture them intentionally. She'll reside in my closet as she did on her previous visit. With your help I believe we have time to furnish it acceptably. I still have her sleeping bag that she left behind last time. Perhaps we can find something to put under it for cushioning and find some appropriate lamps to put there as well."

Butler and Artemis brainstormed for ideas and Holly's new space was set up by the time Juliet arrived back. Juliet arrived home just as Butler was leaving for Tara.

"You're late. What was the delay?"

"You and Alyssa had an awfully long goodbye, as usual, and her mother wanted to talk to me for a few minutes when we got there. I couldn't get out of it without seeming suspicious," Juliet explained.

"Captain Short will be here shortly, Juliet. Why don't you fix a snack for her?"

"Alright, Arty. Veggies?"

"Yes. That should be sufficient," Artemis said. Having done everything that he possibly could, Artemis seated himself in the living room to watch CNN until Butler and Holly arrived.