"Shephard? I need a favor."
"Ah yes, just the...'man' I wanted to see. We need to talk."
"Can it wait? I got...I should...I need to talk with Mal and Zoe 'bout something and I could use someone I trust at my side. Can't hurt none if he's also a man o' God."
At first, Book thought that maybe Jayne had planned to tell them about the scene he had witnesses in the Cargo bay earlier. But when he looked more closely he noticed the man's red, puffy eyes and despondent expression.
This went deeper than stealing a kiss from, or fondling, a crewmate, he thought, worried.
"Of course, Son. Whatever I can do to help."
"Thanks," came Jayne's subdued response.
Together they headed for the bridge. Once there, Jayne asked Wash politely for some privacy so that he could talk to the Captain and his First Mate. A polite Jayne was such a rarity that Wash felt obliged to agree and left without so much as a word--also a rarity.
"Jayne?" Mal asked quite confused. He also noticed the big man's face but it was the defeated demeanor that he found unsettling. "You got something to tell us?"
"Yeah, Mal. Figured I oughta tell you guys before we got to the Sky-Plex. Jester and me--we got...a history."
Mal crossed his arms and licked his lips. "Bad blood?"
"Not...really."
"Now I've known that man near on 10 years and he never once mentioned you. Least not by name, anyways."
"He wouldn't Mal. See, when I said back in that bar on Santho on Uday that I didn't fight in no war? Well, that's not...entirely...the truth."
Zoe quirked her eyebrow finding that hard to believe. Unless...
"I did. I was a sniper. For the Alliance."
Mal, infuriated and enraged, grabbed Jayne by his neck and pinned him to the lockers. His anger seething. He slowly squeezed, choking off his oxygen.
Zoe drew her mare's leg and aimed it at the mercenary's head.
Trying to diffuse the situation and assuming this was why his presence was requested, Book laid his hand gently on the Captain's shoulder.
"Let him speak his peace, Son."
"I am going to kill him, slowly," he snarled and indeed, an unresisting Jayne was turning blue.
"I'm not gonna stand by and let you do that."
Zoe then turned her gun on the Shephard. "Won't be able to do much if you're dead too, Shephard."
"You don't really want to do that. Captain, he has something he needs to say and he came to you like a man. If you are going to kill him, do so after you hear him out. Provided you are so inclined," Book implored.
Still furious, Mal released his grip and backed away as Jayne fought for air. Zoe also lowered her weapon, a bit.
"Hurry up and tell me so I can kill you."
Even though he could hardly breathe, Jayne chuckled morosely at his own words thrown back at him. Long ago when he had joined the two, he had also issued that ineffective threat. He could see now why it was not great incentive.
Confused as to why the soon-to-be-dead-man found humor in his words, Mal looked to Zoe, who seemed to be lost in thought for a moment. The tiniest of smiles was present on her face, however.
Then he realized what he had said. And he noted that Jayne had not even bothered to fight back. That alone intrigued him enough to let him continue.
Mal shook his head in silent amusement and took a seat. "Alright Jayne. We're listening," he told him.
Clearing his throat, Jayne continued.
"I was on a job, 'bout 9 years back. Took out a very bad man..."
"Very bad man," Mal repeated.
"...from 'bout 350 yards away," he went on as though he hadn't heard him, "In a tropical storm, at dusk, with a rifle and no scope."
Zoe whistled appreciatively in spite of herself.
"Yeah, pretty proud of that one. Anyway, fella saw it, or heard about it or somesuch and started talking me up--trying to convince me to join the war. He was buying, so I was listening as he went on about the nobility of the cause and how everybody would benefit. Didn't really interest me none till he stated talkin' 'bout how well it paid and all."
"I'm sure it did, you hun dan," Mal accused.
At Book's reproving glare, he snapped his mouth shut. Thankfully, Zoe looked ready to beat him to death again.
"That fella was...Jester."
"What the--?" Mal stood up, fist drawn.
"Liar!" Zoe yelled simultaneously.
"Captain, please!" Book intoned.
"Zoe's right: bastard's lying. Jester was an Intel Op for the Independence. An Officer."
"No way it was our Jester," she stated, seething.
"Might he have been a spy?" offered the Shephard, significantly.
"Ya'll mind if I finish this so ya'll can get to killing me. Or not. Whatever," Jayne said with a wave of his hand.
"I was the double op," he finished, eyes closed.
"What was that, Son?"
"Jester, he recruited me to join the Alliance in order to get a jump on the intended targets. Try to protect the higher-ups."
"Wu de ma," Zoe whispered.
Mal didn't know what to say.
"I shaved my head and beard, lost a ton of weight, changed my name, had one of Jester's budies hack into the Cortex to give me a history and protect my family...and marched into the recruiting office. Signed up like a good citizen to wear purple."
"After training they sent me out to quietly and secretly take out the high ranking officers and officials, just as Jester anticipated. Before I'd set up, I'd contact Jester and let him know my target. He and the others in Special Ops would then scramble to replace the target with a look-alike POW they'd captured somewhere else. Someone who could pass, from a distance at least, for the mark."
"They'd then relocate the target and his family, change their names...whatever it took to protect them. And me, so that I could keep doing my job."
Shocked, Book asked, "How long did this go on?"
"Little over 2 years."
"I'll be damned, " cursed Mal.
"No, I reckon that's my fate, eventually. See, near the end of the war I was sent to Shadow."
Mal perked up and arrowed his eyes at the mention of his home.
"'S'posed to to take out a Councillor and his family. Not even a sniper job. This was an assasination."
"What was his name," Mal asked, concerned he already knew the answer.
"Morgan."
"Morgan? Thomas Morgan? Someone DID assasinate them," Mal accused. "Alliance strung up the bodies outside of the city."
"I know. It was me."
"WHY?" Mal asked, teeth and fists clenched in anger. That man had been a friend to his family; Thom had given the heart-felt and inspiring speech that had convinced Mal to enlist.
He had idolized that man.
"It was a rush job, but a priority one. I got chauffered there, even. They wanted the bodies as trophies, hoping to dis-spirit the 'Rebel Faction' as it was called."
"Got dropped off 'bout 4 miles out and was supposed to hike in, wait till everybody was home and take 'em out, all at once."
"As soon as the shuttle lifted, I tried contacting Jester. Finally got him as I set up to infiltrate their home. Only, wasn't no time to act. Told him the Alliance plan if I couldn't find them--if I didn't do my job. He told me to follow my conscience."
"Once I broke in and had 'em all tied up...I just couldn't do it. They had a 3 year old boy and the wife...she looked at me with--pity, not fear. Threw off my concentration and made me feel all manner of stupid. So, I untied the Councillor and pulled him into the other room. I told him why I was there, and what I was supposed to do...and I told him who I really worked for.
"So, you're the Scorpion," he said with pride. "You have done so much for our cause, to protect the leaders of the Indpendence Movement. I knew that the Scorpion worked for us; I just never knew who he was. I figured I'd be a target someday, I just never expected my family--," his voice cracked.
"Wasn't supposed to be that way, Sir. Wasn't my plan. Jester just ain't got no time to replace you."
Morgan nodded in understanding.
"Aw, hell, Sir. I ain't go no clue what I'm supposed to do. They got a strike force ready to come down and take out the whole city if I don't come back with your bodies."
"That's over 100,000 souls," the Leader said in fear and disgust.
"I know," said the Scorpion as he hung his head in sorrow.
"Well, Son, I can't have the burden of that many deaths hanging over my head. Not that many needless deaths. Most likely they'd put you down as well for not following orders. Which leaves the rest of my kind vulnerable--open to being picked off one by one without the Scorpion or Jester to protect them. Can't have that either."
Quietly and dejected the Councillor walked back into the room with the assasin close on his heels. He turned, pulled the knife out of the Scorpion's hip sheath, and cut his wife's bindings. Then the gently sobbing man grabbed her close and kissed her passionately. As they broke apart, the astonished killer could only watch as the Councillor quickly spun her around and slit her throat.
Cradling her body, covered in her life's blood, he looked over to where his son sat screaming in fear. With tears in his eyes, he looked back to the other man and told him, "I can't do it. God help me, I just can't do it."
The knife clattered to the floor.
"You DO what you HAVE to do, Son."
The Scorpion nodded once, picked up the knife and slit his throat, sending the man out as he had done his own wife.
I just couldn't do the kid, Mal."
"Well, someone sure as hell did."
Again, Jayne answered, "I know."
After they bled out, the Scorpion bundled up the man and his wife, and gagged the boy. An interminable wait followed, which he spent agonizing over what do do with the boy, and a shuttle finally came to pick them up.
"The boy has not been eliminated yet," stated the Commander to his Op upon his returning to the cruiser and reporting to his superior.
"Is that really necessary, Sir? Could put him in the nursery. Raise him to be an upstanding member of the Alliance."
"Yes, that would be a fittingly ironic end to the traitor's lineage. To have his son end up being reared by a paragon of society, a top echelon member of the Alliance military. Maybe even a governor."
"Indeed it would be, Sir."
"But you had your orders, Soldier," he said accusingly. "You were told to exterminate the entire family. We have a message for the Rebel Faction and they need to know that we are ruthlessly committed to allying the worlds. That we shall tolerate no rebellion and deal harshly with those that choose to thwart out plans."
"Do your job, Soldier."
"Sir?" he questioned as the boy was brought before him.
"Do. Your. Job," the Commander repeated tersely as he pulled his own weapon and aimed it at the Op's head.
Shaking with fury and silently vowing to one day end that man's miserable excuse for a life, the Scorpion reached for his knife. He paused, and then drew his own sidearm.
But he just couldn't have that boy's blood on his hands. At least not literally.
So, instead he walked over to the now silent, but terrified boy, knelt down to eye-level with him and looked him in the eye, silently pleading with the 3 year old to forgive him for what he was about to do.
...and the Scorpion snapped the boy's neck.
"Was as quick and painless a death as I could give him. Commander and the guards walked out after and left me with the body. I think I stayed there for hours holding him...crying," Jayne added softly, his head down.
"Earned myself a promotion and a shiny medal the next day as they strung up the bodies, " he hold them, voice cracking.
"Serenity Valley fell a few days later. I was on assignment, and I knew that spelled defeat for the Independents, so I ran. I ran as fast and as far as I could. Burned everything, including my prints," he said, as he held up his fingertips as proof.
"Had to get lost. Got some reconstructive surgery to hide my identity, and headed out to the border worlds. Went back to bein' Jayne Cobb."
"Needless to say, both those run-ins--with the Magellan and Dortmunder? Well, I thought I was a dead man despite my changes. Kinda hoped that hun dan Commander woulda been there so I coulda snapped his scrawny gorram neck 'fore they took me out."
"Obviously, your secret is safe, or you wouldn't still be here, Son," Book reminded him.
"I know," he replied, regretfully.
"Shadow. Ain't that where you're from Mal?" the mercenary asked, already knowing the answer. He just wanted the Captain to say something, say anything, yell at him, beat him to a pulp, something other than look at him the way he was.
"Go on back to your bunk, Jayne."
"Mal?"
"You heard me. You too Shephard. Zoe and me, we got some things to discuss."
Not waiting to be told again, Jayne hopped up from where he sat telling the story, and sprinted for his bunk.
Book looked at them with a silent plea, but also complied.
Once they were out of earshot, Zoe turned to Mal and said, "Sir, you know what this means, right?"
"That the man we depend on to cover our backs got his training from our enemies?"
"Yes, well that, but..."
"That Jayne is a cold-blooded baby killer?"
"I guess you could call him that, but--"
"That our tough and fearless Mercenary-for-hire has a conscience, and knew what that word meant?"
"That too, Sir, scary as it is, but--"
"But what Zoe?"
"Independent Intel and Special Ops are automatically graded at Lieutenant whether they go to OCS or not. Gorram hun dan would have been our Superior Officer!" she told him with a wry smile and shake of her head.
"Huh. Ain't that about a bitch? Well, best not remind him of that 'Chain of Command' thing."
"Probably for the best, Sir. How you planning on handling this?"
"I don't know Zoe. I honestly do not know."
"He saved a lot of lives there on Shadow, and with his other info. Probably would have saved a whole lot more if we hadn't put down arms so soon after."
"I know this. Don't make me feel any better that it took him his long to tell us, though."
"Whole lotta people would rather forget what they did in the war, Sir," she told him pointedly.
Mal just nodded at her in agreement and climbed down the stairs from the bridge, headed for his bunk.
That is where he found Jayne waiting, blocking his path.
"Mal, if you're gonna kill me, shoot me," came his familiar request. "Just be sure to take my body back to my Ma, like you did for Tracy. And don't tell her 'bout any of the things I done. Not the bad stuff, at least; which I guess is most everything, so make up some stuff if you have to. And you might not wanna tell her you was the one who did me; she'd most likely make what Niska done to ya feel like a walk in the park by comparison", he said with a sad smile.
"I ain't gonna shoot you Jayne. I ain't gonna kill ya. At least not today, and not for what you told us. I an't gonna say you done good--that man was a friend and his family deserved better. But Thom was right: You did what you had to do."
"I reckon so. Don't make it right, though."
He paused, then added, "Thanks Mal."
"For what? Not killing you? Might not wanna thank me yet; you're bound to do something stupid, still."
"Well, there is that, and I already promised not to do the other--but I meant for listening. I ain't told a soul that story. Not EVER. Felt good to get it off my chest."
Gorram girl was right he thought, in wonder.
"Well," Mal said as he climbed into his quarters. "You know what they say, Jayne: 'Confession is good for the soul'."
And then he shut and locked the door.
Relieved and breathing easier than he had in almost 7 years, Jayne marveled at how the Captain had unknowingly echoed River, then shrugged and dropped into his own bunk.
"I told you," River said proudly. Proud of HIM.
"I know," he replied with a sigh and turned to face her. She had straightened up his room.
"You aren't the loudest anymore," she whispered, tears in her eyes.
"I'm glad. Means I ain't hurtin' ya so much now? Right?"
She nodded and ran to embrace him.
"Not sure how this is supposed to help my rep none. Can't nobody else know who I was and I can't be a 'Mercenary with a heart o' gold'," he said with a slight smile.
"My dragon slayer and knight in rusty armour," she corrected, grinning up at him with possessive pride.
Dejectedly he told her, "Don't feel all that noble 'bout right now."
River pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder and gently stroked his head.
So weary, so tired--Jayne buried his face in the hair on her neck, inhaled deeply of her fruity scent, and wrapped his arms around her tightly. He picked up River and sat down on the bed with her in his lap just as they were, and let her pet and soothe him. After a moment, he lifted his head and kissed her of his own volition--as if he had every right in the world to do so.
She sighed happily as their tongues met.
How could something so wrong feel so good--so RIGHT? he thought. She knows the things I done and she still lo-...she don't seem to mind none. Hell, what am I doing? She should be in a bughouse, and she's young enough to be my daughter.
Sharply, she broke the kiss and pulled back.
"NO MORE, please!"
"What?" he asked.
River climbed off of his lap and laid her hand against his cheek lovingly.
"You've unburdened your soul today."
She climbed the ladder to leave and paused half-way up.
"Don't fill it with something more."
"Fill it with something different," she said as she closed the door behind her..