The Diary Of Bob The Cucco, A Complete Newcomer

Day Something of King Ganondorfs Reign


An: I apologise for the long wait, the new character, the fact I don't have a clue what going on IN MY OWN STORY, and for the capital letters.

You see, and I know that every readers out there, that at some points in there lives, an author will some, perhaps even many, very nasty periods of time.
Writers block.

This is my pitiful excuse for the new chapter, written in a feat of pure guilt.

And without further ado, enjoy the randomness.

7:00 You know what I hate? Cranberry juice. It's one of the strangest liquids in the world, and I don't think anyone really knows which it is: Sour or Sweet. I am a young and naïve cucco; I don't know what is right and what is wrong, and perhaps that's how I got wound up with King Ganondorf in Gerudo Valley. Perhaps that's also why I have to wait in this musty old room with a dark version of The Hero of Time. The Dark Link, who, as he has told me anyway, was quite fondly named Fred by his master, is really quite clueless. Perhaps that is why King Ganondorf say we are compatible.

7:30 Although my new home is a room in a large palace-like structure called the Water Temple, it mimics an open, barren plain. Knee high (To a hylian, anyway.) water lies on the floor. Fred and I have complained to Ganondorf over and over that it completely ruins the carpet and any wallpaper we put up. A couple of islands are in the room too, and they were probably intended to be our sleeping quarters. Sometimes, Morpha and her personalities pop round for a cup of tea, but other than that, it's pretty lonely. Any talking that is done echoes around the chamber. It's sort of sad.

10:00 I tell Fred that it's his turn to microwave lunch, though he firmly believes it to be mine.

And then, in a stroke of genius, he hollered, "I know! We'll check the calendar!"
Yup, that's a good idea. But the calendar's on the wall, and we only get our walls back when The Hero of Time defeats Fred. I believe it's supposed to be sort of bitter irony.

Damn.

12:00 Hurrah! Rejoice, for the Hero of Time has come to free us from the prison! I was a bit curious as to why he had cuccos with him, but decided to ignore him. If he's here to kill Fred, I suppose I shouldn't complicate things. Fred said to the hero that his sword was awfully shiny, and asked if he may hold it. Fred was told quite firmly where the sword was going to go. Fred got the picture. And it was an awfully ugly picture. Fred got upset and ran away, sobbing.

"He's sensitive." I stated.

"Obviously." The female cucco snorted. "Now, unless you're going to show us to the big evil scary monster, you can just stick---"

"Ah, you want to see Morpha?" I asked, excited. Morpha got very few visitors, especially since the "monster" rumours started. I knew that this would make her very happy.
"She?" The boy said, confused. "The monster's a she?"

"Yup." I replied. "Morpha was Miss Aquatic Being of '93."
For some strange reason, they looked at me like I was crazy.

"Right…" One of the other cuccos said slowly. "So. Can you show us to her lair?"
"Sure!" I replied. "Come on."

12:30 "Well." I said. "Here we are."
"Great." The eldest cucco muttered. "Link, get in there."
"You can't just waltz in there!" I screeched.
"Why?" Link asked.

"It is a ladies room! You can't just go right into a lady's living quarters! What kind of per---"

"Okay." Link snapped. "Okay, I'll knock."

"I'll be just a minute!" I could hear Morpha sing from behind the door.

13:12 Morpha still hasn't answered the door. I wonder what she does in there. No one really knows for sure, but rumour has it that she has connections with the black market and that she spends her "minute" tidying away the stolen things she bought. But I guess we'll never know.
"Okay, dearies, you can come in now!"
"Right. Lets go." Link said, a grimace on his face.

"Ooh!" I exclaimed. "I should warn you: If you're offered pea soup, don't take it."
"Er.. Right."

Mwahahahahaha!
Next chapter: Links epic battle with Morpha.
Read, then shower me with reviews, okay?