A Washington Benefit

As the high school experience was winding down for Jess, so was the time to the benefit heist for three gentlemen. The night prior was one of extreme concentration and stress as Lupin, Jigen, and Goemon sat around the kitchen table with a mixture of blueprints and other assorted plans in front of them. Jess was content at keeping her distance and would only make a presence to ask if anyone needed anything to drink.

"Well gentlemen, that's the plan. Are you sure you want to make the morning errand by yourself, Jigen?" Lupin exclaimed as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his tired eyes.

"Yea, I think it would be best if I handled that detail by myself."

"Fair enough, how are you feeling about it then Goemon?"

"I feel I am prepared," the samurai remarked as he unsheathed his weapon and inspected its blade. "Yes, very prepared."

"Right, I'm off to bed then. In fact Jigen, you should go to bed right now as well since you need all the beauty sleep you can get," Lupin added with a smirk and then stuck his head into the room adjoining and added to Jess, "don't you keep him up too late."

"Yes sir," she said with a salute and a sarcastic laugh. While the thief and the samurai left to their respective quarters, the gunman plopped down on the couch Jess was occupying. The two didn't make eye contact though, and continued staring straight ahead. "What do you have to do in the morning that requires you to be alone?"

"You were listening? It's not polite to eavesdrop."

"It's also not polite to scare the crap out of people, but you had no hesitation in doing that last time you visited."

"Well, that was just funny. Plus, you weren't going to do much with the safety on."

"Hey, my lack of gun skills isn't in question here."

"Right, well, you will just have to see tomorrow."

Not the patient type, Jess thought of protesting, but as it was too late in the evening she complied to just wait it out. The two had never unfixed their forward gaze throughout the conversation and as silence over took them Jess rested her tired head on his shoulder.

The following morning began as clockwork. At 8 on the mark, Jigen was the first to awake so as to complete his errand. He needed no alarm as his internal clock was what he relied on; he didn't want to wake Jess anyways. His shower was quick, breakfast merely cereal, and clothing the same as it was everyday. Just a normal day, if you don't treat it as something special, everything will happen as normal. He was superstitious and relied on that fact to keep him from getting nervous. By 9 he was set to go and left without anyone noticing aside from the young brunette who had rolled into the warm spot he had occupied in bed.

Jigen's drive was short as his destination was only 3 miles away. Exiting his car, he began to walk up to a very upscale house that was on the "right side" of the tracks. Manicured lawns and expensive cars occupied the outside of the houses in this neighborhood, but his main goal was not on the outside of the houses, it was on the inside of one in particular. With a knock on the door, Jigen lowered his hat and was greeted by a tall young man who bore a striking resemblance to Lupin.

"Are you Joe?"

"Umm, yea," the confused young man responded with a yawn.

"Do you know a Jessica Abraham?"

Joe's face changed from total indifference to one of slight horror and then suspicion. "Yea, why do you…?"

"Oh, this is for her," with a swift punch to face the young man was knocked unconscious where he had been standing. With no hesitation and a quick glance around, Jigen took him up and threw him into the trunk of his car. "Bastard."

Everyone was up by the time the gunman returned. He made a quick remark to Lupin that the required equipment for tonight had been picked up. Lupin nodded and continued what he was doing. From now until that night, everyone was silent as they performed their pre-job rituals. Goemon occupied himself with deep meditation, Jigen cleaned his magnum obsessively over and over, and finally Lupin read and reread his plans and escapes. Jess for her part took great pleasure in watching the three men prepare, but as she loses interest in most everything, she decided to retreat to her room to find entertainment.

Finally, when the time had come the three men received good lucks from their hostess and left to their predestined location just in time to dress. The attire – waiters; well, most of the company anyways. The man in the trunk was treated to the Lupin treatment. Still unconscious made dressing him quite easy and as the three stood back to admire their handwork, Lupin remarked that Joe suddenly looked very handsome!

"I can ensure you Inspector Zenigata that the money is quite safe. This Lupin you speak of will have no chance in hell of getting to it," a squat man with a very ridiculous mustache explained to the man behind him.

"You don't know Lupin like I know. He'll come in here like a bat out of hell and take everything. He doesn't just leave a note every time because he's stupid. He does it because he is that damn cocky and good."

"I don't think you understand how state of the art we are here in Washington. First off, Lupin would have to get past security cameras and security guards. The only people allowed down here are the servers as the freezer is right next to the vault. If for some reason he manages to bypass them, he would have to get past the new safe we bought this year that has been promised that no man can crack. Finally, if all else fail, the money is encased in solid iron. Now tell me Inspector, do you still have your doubts?"

"Listen, it's your money, I'm just hear to tell you that Lupin always finds a way."

"Well, you are obviously of no help if all you can do is inform. If you know so much about Lupin, why haven't you caught him?"

"Hey, shut the hell up. I don't need to take crap from a man with a terrible facial hair."

"You should talk. Did you buy those sideburns in the 70's? Actually, I don't care. I must be going. Stay out of the way of the important people Inspector. You are merely here because my insurance requires it."

Zenigata always hated dealing with the targets of Lupin's escapades, but he hated Lupin even more. It was true he knew more about Lupin's dealings than anyone else, but this was because he had been constantly foiled by the master thief. He shrugged off his bad mood and went up to the top floor where the party was to make his rounds. Little did he know Lupin would never make an appearance among that crowd.

A few hours into the party, a trio of servers walked to the front of the hallway the security guards were standing in front of. Two carried a large sack that obviously held something of great size and weight. The one holding nothing advanced first.

"We have a large pig here that needs to get frozen."

"Oh yea, we'll need to take a look inside if you don't mind. Can't be too careful; there's a thief running around, ya know?"

"Oh my!" the server exclaimed. He then proceeded to open up the bag, but as the two security guards leaned forward Lupin, also known as the "server," knocked their heads together with enough force to knock them unconscious. "Goemon, Jigen, if you will."

"Right," the other two servers responded. While one produced his gun and began shooting out the security cameras, the other unsheathed his hidden sword and took to incapacitating all other security guards down the hall. It took a total of 20 seconds to complete and by the end the three men stood in front of the vault. Lupin took his cue and went straight to work in cracking the "uncrackable" safe.

"1, 2, buckle my shoe, and there we go!" With a click, the safe opened to reveal a large block of metal. "HA! Did they think iron could keep Lupin III away? Goemon, please show them the error of their ways."

The samurai made quick work of the metal with his indestructible Zantetsuken to reveal the prize they had been searching for. The three men dumped what had been in the bag onto the ground and loaded the sack with the money. As they left the scene, Lupin closed the door to the safe and reset the lock. With a snicker he then tapped one of the security guards.

"Sir, what happened here? My friends and I came down to put something in the freezer and come upon this scene!"

"Oh no!" the security guard exclaimed as he came to his senses. "Lupin must have come. The safe isn't opened though, that's a good sign. Get out of here now, this is a crime scene!"

"Yes sir," the "server" remarked with a grin. The three men then left without being stopped or persecuted as the rest of the security guards attempted to save face by blaming each other for their down fall.

By the time Zenigata got wind of what happened, he ran down to the cellar to see for himself the damage. He demanded they open up the safe, and when they did they found a very confused and drowsy man.

"Lupin! I finally caught you in the act. You think you are so smooth and here you are caught red handed. The door to the safe must have closed behind you and you had no other way of getting out, ya bastard."

"Huh, what? I'm not Lupin. My name is Joe, what are you talking about?"

"Yea, whatever Lupin. You aren't going to go fooling me with that crap. I believe what I see and what I see is Lupin III!" It was true, the man in front of Zenigata looked exactly like Lupin III, but it wasn't him at all. It was in fact Joe, dressed and groomed just as Lupin would. The three men had used the ill thought of man as a decoy to ensure a safe escape and to enact a little revenge for their hostess. "You're coming with me Lupin," Zenigata remarked as he slapped handcuffs on the confused Joe.

The ride home for the three thieves had been a thoroughly enjoyable one as they heard no sirens following them and no sign of any acknowledgement of what happened. They pulled up to the house in high spirits, but as they got closer, all three men felt something to be terribly wrong

First off, the outside lights were not on. Jess always left them on for them, but they were pitch dark at that moment. Second the front door was wide open and upon further inspection, the house had been obviously broken into. Papers were spread everywhere, drawers were opened and random objects where thrown onto the floor.

"Jess? Jess are you here?" Jigen yelled aloud. There was no answer. "JESS!" The man in the fedora dropped the bag of money as he combed the house searching for the lost woman. Lupin's attention was grabbed by a note and a DVD left on the counter. The note read as follows:

Dear Lupin,

For stealing something so precious of mine, I am now stealing a few things so precious to you. You really ought to be more cautious of just leaving your belongings around. Watch the DVD for further instructions if you wish to ever see a Ms. Mine and a Ms. Abraham ever again.

Duke Evershine

"Shit," Lupin mumbled as he sat down.

During his frantic search, Jigen never found Jess. He did find the gun she kept for safety on the floor, though. Leaning over, he picked it up and upon further inspection found the safety was still on. For a fleeting moment a smile raced across his face at his remembrance of her terrible gun skills, but it was quickly erased as began to worry what happened to her. Never one to show his distress, though, he straightened himself out and walked out to see what was to be done about retrieving his girl.