CHAPTER ELEVEN: Consider the Possibilities

PART FOUR…Blank Ticket…

"Where the hell is that idiot?" Meryl exclaimed to herself. She reached over, up the wall next to the couch, to lift the lights brighter. She'd been sitting there, as lovely as possible, for two hours now, in the dark, attempting to create a mood. "If he stands me up, I swear, I'll…" As an instinct, she felt at her side for the Derringers, but of course they were long gone, melted for recycling before boarding the ships.

She slapped her forehead suddenly, realizing her mistakes. Threatening Vash with violence had always been a horrid idea, and she wished she could take back all the times she had.

Besides, it wasn't his fault she was waiting like that. It had been Meryl's obsessive-compulsive want to get ready hours before they agreed to meet.

Glancing down, she wondered if this outfit was appropriate. The neckline of this dress was low enough that her collarbone showed, as did her arms. It was still rather conservative, but she simply wasn't accustomed to anything that didn't cover her from the neck down completely. She tugged at the hem of the skirt, pulling it over her knees. No, this wouldn't do.

Before she could move to change, the door chimed and she pressed the shutter open without thinking.

And there he stood, that angel of a man.

OXO

The choked sounds of sobbing filled the tomb-like apartment after the loneliness set in. When had she learned to feel lonely? Or had she just not noticed it before?

Over a great, empty expanse of time, her body wore down and she lay, relaxed only from exhaustion, onto the hard floor. The dress she wore bunched up to her knees and down past her shoulders, exposing warm scars. Her nostrils were clogged completely, her eyes swollen and itchy. Her chest spasms subsided some, but the crooked hand that wrenched at her heart remained. "Hurry up and take it," she whispered hoarsely to no one. "I don't need it anymore. Stop teasing…" She chuckled at herself, but the chest pain stopped her.

Her head pounded, reminding her to unclench her jaw. The sharp back teeth had cut into her gums and tongue, but the metal taste of blood only complimented her mood. The cold and metal of this existence was perfect – a more appropriate tomb than the cave had been. It was what she wanted and deserved. How dare she think she had the right to cause him pain? How dare she want him?

Vanessa was a female plant, around a hundred years old. Her life flashed quickly before her eyes, so fast because she had retraced her steps too many times to count. Pity and sadness were her vices, and she played the role of the sacrificial lamb as if she knew no warmth.

Vash deserved children, and with such uncertainty in their DNA otherwise, the safest avenue for his happiness was Vanessa's womb. But there are other ways to give the gift of a child than as mother and wife. Letting Vash follow her was silly. Their futures must be separate, and her paintings had been telling her that all along.

Truly, she was wrong for Vash. But, she realized in a stroke of genuine selfishness, Vash was bad for her as well.

OXO

Vash smiled and walked towards her, his hair slicked back up into the old, spiky look. He had his hands tucked into his back pockets and stopped a foot before her, standing with slightly poor posture. "I was so busy with my brother and my problems that I ignored something important." He knelt before her and placed his palm on her shoulder. "Meryl, can you forgive me for not noticing you?"

With a weak smile, she nodded. "Yes, of course. Can you forgive me for being so demanding of you?" she countered.

Grinning, he nodded. "It wasn't so bad, though. You're a strong person with a strong personality." He put his other, prosthetic hand atop her hand and stared down into her eyes as he spoke. "But you've changed, haven't you…You're more real to yourself now. But you won't forgive yourself."

Meryl blushed, not about to open her mouth and interrupt him. She wondered if he was referring to that which she told no one as her head felt lighter.

"Just because you did bad things doesn't mean you can't transcend them. Your penance is over. Mine's not, but maybe now I can work through it with the people that care about me." He grinned nervously. "Your eyes are pretty when you laugh."

How random, she thought, ever the critic. But she felt as though ablaze, eyes lighting up as she smiled and squeezed his hand.

"May I go with you when we land? If I'm not being chased by blood-thirsty killers, that is?" he asked, eyes filled with a child-like hope.

"Vash, if they were chasing you, I'd be chasing you, too." God, he was beautiful. With tears brimming in his eyes, and those loose hairs falling into his eyes just right…Meryl bit her lip from it all. "Is this right?" she murmured. "What about-"

Putting a finger up between them, Vash stopped her. "I've decided, and I'd like to explain some other time. Tomorrow maybe. Some things are iffy, still. Don't worry, though. It's right for me, so if it is for you..."

Nodding, Meryl awaited his next word or action in awe. Finally, someone telling her NOT to worry, and really meaning it.

"Forgive me for wanting to take things really slow. But, um, if it's okay, can I just…" he whispered, leaning in to kiss her.