Author's Note: Ok, so we'll see what ever happened to Jonouchi before we see where Kaiba and Saronu went.
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Chapter 6: What if Jonouchi Ruled the World?
Jonouchi blinked, having just been transported yet again. He was sitting on a lavish carpet, in a large, circular room, sunlight streaming in through a huge window.
A teenage girl entered the room. She had dirty blonde hair, long, sleek, and well-manicured. Her sparkling brown eyes reminded him a lot of Shizuka.
What she was wearing, however, reminded him nothing of Shizuka. The girl's attire consisted of a red miniskirt that was way too small for her, a too-small tube top, huge silver hoop earrings, a chain belt which hung loosely from her waist, and stilettos that she had trouble balancing on.
"I'm going out, daddy, just to let you know. What do you think of this new outfit?"
Normally, he would say she looked sexy, but since she reminded him of his sister, her look disturbed him, and the big brother impulse kicked into gear.
Hey wait a minute, had she called him daddy? What the hell?
"Who are you?" he asked, blinking stupidly. The girl looked hurt and offended.
"I'm your daughter, duh! Just because you rule most of the civilized world doesn't give you an excuse to forget who I am!"
"Daughter? I have a daughter?" he asked, making himself look like even more of an idiot.
"Yes, Sakura Jonouchi, eldest child of Katsuya and Mai Jonouchi."
"I marry Mai?" It didn't utterly shock him, but it surprised him in a pleasing way. And apparently they had a couple of kids together, too. Dirty thoughts immediately began to creep into the boy's mind.
"Who are you?" Sakura asked suspiciously, "You're not my father."
"What're ya talking about? I'm Katsuya Jonouchi. I'm sixteen."
Sakura stared at him, then broke out in a grin. "Wow, you're like, sixteen now? That means you totally understand me then!"
"You're sixteen?"
"Well, no, I'm fifteen. So how does this outfit look on me?" She began to model it for him.
"You look like a whore, now go change."
She frowned, displeased, then said, "I'm going out."
"No daughta of mine---whether she's in da future or not---is goin ta look like a goddamn prostitute!" He now eyed her suspiciously. "You're not a prostitute, are you?"
"No", she replied truthfully.
"Well, den don't dress like one", he replied.
"Mom said she dressed like this when she was younger."
"No, she actually wore what could be classified as clothes. Ya know, as in coverin your body…more than a tiny strip of cloth coverin your body parts?"
"I bet you go for girls who dress like this", Sakura sneered.
The horniness of a sixteen-year-old boy could not be denied, and Jonouchi replied heatedly, "That's not the point! No kid of mine is gonna dress like a whore! Even if it's a kid I've neva met before! Show a little modesty, will ya?"
Sakura opened her mouth to retort, but decided that there was no point in argument. Grumbling, she left the room, cursing very loudly as she went down the hall. When the sound of her whining, mingled with expletives, faded away, Jonouchi stood, preparing to explore the place.
Being Jonouchi, he did not understand the complexity of time travel, that his present was now the past, and the present was his future. He seemed to think that he belonged in this time period, and he did, but not as sixteen-year-old Jonouchi. The forty-one-year-old Katsuya Jonouchi was the one that belonged here.
He also did not realize the magnitude of what he had done, by revealing himself to someone from his future. If it had been anyone than his future daughter, a catastrophe could have ensued, as two Jonouchis met, the time stream was messed up, and the world went mad.
There was a little sound like an explosion, and the scientist William Schroeder appeared behind him.
"I've found you, finally. Now hand over the time machine before the time stream gets messed up too much."
Jonouchi blinked stupidly. Schroeder eyed him.
"Have you encountered anyone here?"
"Uh, yeah, I met dis one girl who said she was my daughta…"
"You told her you're from the past, didn't you?" the scientist asked tonelessly, dreading the answer, and yet knowing what it invariably would be.
"Yeah, is dat bad?"
Schroeder slapped his hand to his forehead.
"You idiot! Of course it's bad! She's just seen her father's sixteen-year-old self. She has no idea how you got here. How do you know she won't tell? You could completely alter the future!"
"She might tell?" asked Jonouchi.
"Yes, wouldn't you? Your friend Anzu indirectly told you that there was another Jonouchi."
"So what do I do? Go and find my future self and tell him who I am before she gets to him?" Jonouchi wondered aloud, then sped down the hall and took a right without waiting for an answer.
He nearly crashed into Sakura, who had just emerged from a room, while he was racing down one corridor.
"You're still here?" she asked.
"Yeah, and I'm gonna find him before you!"
"Who?"
"Your dad!"
"Dad's not here. He's on a business trip…in Bulgaria, I think."
"What's Bulgaria?" Jonouchi asked.
"It's a country", Sakura replied patiently, "A country in Europe."
"Oh. Well, what da hell am I doin in Europe? I need to get my ass back to Japan so I can meet myself! I don't know how long I'm gonna be here…"
Sakura stared, then slowly asked, "Why do you want to meet yourself in the future? Present…whatever."
"I thought it would be cool, but I guess I won't get to, now. So I think I'll go explorin instead, and see what the future's like."
"Wait! There's some stuff you need to know before you go wandering around."
"Like what?"
"Like who your family is, for instance? And what your life is like in the future?"
"Oh, right…I guess dat's important to know, isn't it?"
"Okay, you are married to a woman named Mai Kujaku. You already know who she is, I think?"
Jonouchi nodded, and Sakura looked pleased.
"Well, that's good, I don't have to go into much detail about her then. Except there's a couple things about her that you really ought to be aware of, in case she's different. First of all, she has an avid, borderline obsessive love for the game Duel Monsters. She keeps trying to teach me how to duel all the time."
"Oh, you can duel?" asked Jonouchi.
"Don't get off-topic!" Sakura scolded, "Anyway, Mom also has…violent tendencies."
"What do you mean by dat?"
"Well, she can be kind of a bitch. I know I shouldn't say that about my mother, but it's true. Especially towards the media. She chased them away from the house with a carving knife yesterday. And last week was the chainsaw. And the week before that…that was bad."
Now that was different. In his time, Mai would love all the publicity.
"Also, you have four kids. I'm the only girl, and I'm also the oldest. Rujin is thirteen, and Maku and Maru are ten-year-old brats---I mean twins."
"Is there anything else I should know about them?" queried Jonouchi.
"Uh, yeah, Rujin's the duelist. But other than that, not really. Now, other things you should know---"
"What about Shizuka?"
"Huh?"
"Shizuka! My sister! She's here, isn't she?"
"Oh, her? She's here", Sakura replied. (I don't know the Japanese word for 'aunt', if someone told me that would be nice).
"Anyway", Sakura continued, "You are the ruler of the whole Eurasian continent, plus parts of Africa and the Americas. Oh, and you have Australia and some Pacific islands too. Basically, most of the civilized world. Just so you know."
"How da hell did dat happen?" Jonouchi asked in awe.
"It's a long story. Anyway, you're the wealthiest, most famous person in the world."
Jonouchi pointed to himself. "Me?" he asked, confirming it. Sakura nodded.
Later, Jonouchi made his way to the front door, after cleaning out the refrigerator ("Time travel makes you hungry!"). Still he had not met any future family members other than Sakura. As he opened the front door, however, he was blinded by flashing lights of cameras, and immediately bombarded with questions as the media waited at his doorstep.
"Mr. Jonouchi, Health & Fitness magazine wants to know: how do you stay so young-looking?" asked a woman who had pushed to the front.
"Uh…diet and exercise?" he replied, and the woman---as well as others--- immediately began to write this down. Jonouchi began to regain his confidence, and decided he might as well bask in the glory while he had it.
"And always eat your vegetables!" he proclaimed, "And at least three doughnuts every day!"
The press began to get excited. Apparently future Jonouchi wasn't so eager to talk with them.
"Mr. Jonouchi---" one reporter began.
Mr. Jonouchi. He liked it.
"Mr. Jonouchi, the press understands that you've returned from Bulgaria early?"
"Uh, yeah, but I'm going…uh…I'm going back tomorrow!"
"Mr. Jonouchi, what's your opinion on the Russia issue?"
"Damn Russians! Why do they always gotta cause trouble!"
"Mr. Jonouchi, you are aware that Russia just elected the guy you were supporting as provincial governor?"
"Uh, of course I knew dat…damn Russians, you can always count on them."
"Mr. Jonouchi, what's your opinion on Germany?"
"Uh…it's nice…I guess…"
"Mr. Jonouchi---"
"Shut up, will ya? Don't make me get my wife out here!"
The reporters backed away a little, but quickly resumed their merciless assault.
"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARDS!"
And then came Mai, twenty-five years older, still attractive-looking. She ran after the media, waving around a very sharp scythe to scare them away.
"The scythe is new", one reporter commented.
"AND TOMORROW IT'S GOING TO BE MY HARPY LADIES!"
Mai turned to face him.
"Oh hello Katsuya", she said cheerfully, "Back from Bulgaria already?"