A/N – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE'RE BACK!... joined today by our best friend Sam, who has gladly decided to join us as a special guest/best friend joining us. HAHAHAHA we're back, back in black, well actually I'm (Leisha) wearing blue and Jas is wearing some reddy pink colour and Sam's lying in bed under the covers so we can't quite tell. Jas and Sam have just informed me that it is someone unknown colour that is unknown to man. We are once again bored and extremely tired but this time it is a cruel fan fiction written by THREE teenage girls at an increasingly late hour of the night, this time we are high on chocolate. Mmmm chocolate, which reminds me of Cashew nuts, which brings me back to the story. Let us recap, James Potter has just killed Lucius Malfoy and told Draco that he is really his father. MALFOY IS NOT MALFOY'S BABY!
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter, "Ding dong the witch is dead" and Beds are Burning by Midnight Oil. Sorry J.K. Rowling for destroying the world we all love so much.
Summary: (coz I like writing summaries.) Draco, James and Nutmeg are all back, now they are joined by thousands of munchkins, ice statues, zucchini (not much just a little) and a big BIG surprise. What is Nutmeg's BIG secret, underneath her salty nuts (get it coz she's a nut)?
A shocked silence filled the air. THEN a thousand munchkins filed into the room singing "Ding Dong the witch is dead…"
"But he's a wizard!" yelled Draco, still coming to terms with his fathers death even though its been three seconds and Lucius isn't his father.
The munchkins shrugged and looked at each other. "FINE THEN!" screeched a small green munchkin in the back, who was small and green and in the back by the name of Sam, who was wearing unknown colours unknown to man. Speaking of man, James Potter, who was very much a man, and men are cruel so they pulled out some fly spray and fly swats and started spraying them and swatting them until they were no more.
"Come back to bed sweetie" croaked a very small voice from the doorway, all the people in the room (including the dead munchkins and dead Lucius, (And a dead Lois) making a lot of people even though the munchkins aren't technically people, they are oompa loompas in disguise) looked to the door to see a very small piece of nut, cashew nut to be precise, wearing a thin white lacy robe, which showed off her beautiful salty nuts (get it haha coz she's a nut haha we rock).
"Just a minute baby… god you look salty in that dress, so very, very salty." Said James, although for the first time in several years he didn't fell like nut (she's got it in an email, luv, she's got it in an email.) he felt like zucchini.
Draco was sitting alone in the corner, whimpering like little baby, a little babybaby. (Watch Let The Blood Run Free, its really good) He suddenly jumped up and felt a sudden brainwave, fast fact like in manor.
"ARE YOU READY FOR FAST FACTS? DID YOU KNOW THAT MORE THAN 12 THOUSAND TROPHIES MEDALS AND RIBBONS ARE AWARDED EACH YEAR AT THE PERTH ROYAL SHOW?" He yelled, breathing heavily and sweating. Everyone looked at him, then looked at each other, then back at him, then at each other again, and then back at him once more.
"Umm….How can we dance when our earth is turning? How can we sleep while our beds are burning?" He began to dance. He danced frantically, swinging his arms and legs, doing the monkey, the banana, and repetitively jumping up and down in the air, folding his legs and arms and saying "Om, Om, Om."
James was standing there, as still as a statue which are generally made out of stone, unless they are ice statues which are made out of ice, don't lick them because your tongue will get stuck, not speaking from experience or anything, staring at Malfoy, ashamed to say that he was his one and only son of a gun, excluding Harry, who we should probably include since the whole series and everything is about Harry but meh, who gives.
Nutmeg suddenly interrupted James's statue stature by speaking. "Baby, I have a really big, big, big, big rather large, big, big, big, big, big, big p-
-ossibly (haha we got you again you sick minded beings) life changingly huge surprise".
Malfoy stopped dancing, and Lucius and the munchkins looked up in interest but then remembered they were supposed to be dead and quickly lay down and closed their eyes.
"I am HAGRID the almighty half-giant! All bow down to my salty nuttiness!" finished Nutmeg, AKA Hagrid he almighty half-giant.
James found he didn't really care. All he wanted now was a zucchini…
A/N – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ooooooooooooooooo cliff hanger, kind of. We are all kind of too tired to continue, so are leaving it there and will write more later, when we have a sleep over again. Also we don't have any food to get our crazy inspiration from. Love you all you freaks…. Tell your friend's. Wait who am I talking to, no one reads this crap….
Peace out peoples,
Skweeky Leisha, Also very clean Jasmin and freshly showered Sam.
(Written by Hpfreaklk, jazhpfreak, samhpfreak)