CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Scattered Rain

PART THREE…Nerves …

Knives had felt sick all day. Worry consumed him, though he had no more a clue than the chill before. A million thoughts flew around in his mind, such that he had vomited up his breakfast hours ago.

Last night he was fine, but since the second sunrise his stomach had felt as though tied in knots. He had assumed the trouble was Vash's own – but couldn't it be one of the plant women, instead? What if little Tessla - whom he'd never met but loved nonetheless – what if she was in danger? And Vanessa…

Sweating, Knives curled into a ball on the plant complex floor, cold and metallic as it was. "Vanessa…" he creaked.

Perhaps he was sick from this migraine – this incessant pounding in his frontal lobes. This was the worst he'd had since he was a child. The migraine began softly last night, and only awoke in full a few hours ago.

The wave of nausea subsided slowly, and Knives lay still as his body relaxed. "What have they done to you now, Vanessa?" In his mind he imagined the scars, the numerous scars. He wanted to kill a thousand humans to avenge every scar upon her. Perhaps one human per scar tissue cell. That would be fair, he thought casually, doing a bit of math in his mind before another throbbing wave of headache pain caused him to tense once more.

Hissing through his teeth, he waited for this one to leave him.

Sighing after it left, an idea struck. "I'm thinking too hard."

Moments passed, and throbbing began.

He lay gritted teeth, panting, waiting for it to pass. Slowly, he sat up, and only minor discomfort caused him to wince. "Yes, I'm thinking too hard."

"Stop worrying," he chuckled to himself. "Vash is a victim of his compassion. Tessla is fine; Vash wouldn't let his offspring suffer. And Vanessa…"

Looking up at the bulbs, Knives laughed aloud.

"She's fine, isn't she?" he yelled to them. "I must give her more credit – she can take care of herself! If she could outsmart me…and Vash…She's smarter than those humans."

Pleased with himself, Knives stood, and went off for lunch. He kept one eye squinted in a constant wince from the headache.

XXXX

Vash leaned over his bathroom sink to examine the little scratch on his cheek. He unwrapped the bandage.

"It's okay, Akim," he'd reassured. "You didn't mean to."

It was just another battle scar – but this one was from a little boy, who played with him regularly. They were chasing each other around a playground, playing tag. Yomiko tagged Akim, and Akim ran after Vash, since he was well-known to be the easiest one to tag. Akim climbed up the jungle gym after a squirrelly Vash, and flew at him to tag him. But Vash had slipped and Akim knocked into him, scratching Vash's cheek along an edge of the slide. It was an inch and a half long cut, and it hadn't bled much. But Akim had cried a lot.

"It doesn't hurt," Vash insisted, giving the sniffling little guy a hug. "I'll put a BandAid on it and I'll be good as new! I'll even play tag tomorrow!"

"You better not break that promise," Tsuki demanded, stern with her little hands balled up at her sides. "Or else I'm gonna give you a wedgie again."

Vash held up his hands defensively. "Please - No!"

He'd left soon after, to clean up the cut.

After the bandage was applied, he smiled full in the mirror. He was happy.

Pouring himself a glass of apple juice and grabbing a banana for a snack, he plopped onto his big old couch. The wall screen hummed softly as it rose to light, displaying an animated program at the moment. But an icon blinking in the corner indicated that he had a message.

"Mail," he stated, and the wall brought up the message, in plain text. Vash leaned forward, his banana falling limp in his hand. "What's this…"

XXXX

'Dear Vash,

'Thank you for being so kind to me. Thank you for your love, your attention, your patience, and your humor. Thank you for giving me a chance at motherhood. Thank you for convincing me of my past wrongs, and for encouraging me to make them right. My attempts at penance have been misguided at times, so I can only hope that the ends justified the means.

'We couldn't have guessed that things would turn out as they have. People always say that. Whether fate or chance, we have met up again and I was glad to see you again.

'I was nervous. Nervous because I thought you may not forgive me, and nervous because I knew Tessla would be even less pleased to see me. But you both handled things better than I'd expected, and you've given me a sort of closure that I am not deserving of.

'A part of me – the selfish part – wanted you to love me again. After all, you are the definition of the perfect man, by human standards at least.

'But you deserve better than me. I hope that one day Tessla can invent an immortality serum so that some human you love can live as long as yourself. Maybe then Tessla could love someone, too.

'As for myself, I know that there is no one here for me. Everyone here is either too flawed or too perfect to be with me. And I'm tired of being alone all the time.

'I am tired of this life. Tessla has agreed to take over my position; she really has a knack for it. I'm retiring from the job.

'And I think I'll retire from life in this world as well. I don't think I can stand another day here, pretending to be several things that I am not, putting up with everyone's fear and disgust every day.

'I don't belong here; I've never belonged here, and I have no plans to stay. You'll probably try to stop me, but it's too late – there's nothing you could have done.

'Tessla has assisted me, to ensure that I go as peacefully as possible; but don't be angry with her. I made her do it.

'Thanks, again, Vash. You deserve all of the happiness that Earth can give an individual. May your life be long and full…and peaceful.

'Goodbye.

'Sincerely,

Vanessa.'

XXXX

The wall screen was still on, displaying animation again. The banana was on the floor collecting carpet fuzz, and the apple juice sat on the table, collecting condensation. Vash was gone, already aboard an Agency hover craft, bound for the main compound.

His own words from the a hundred years past echoed in his mind:

'Suicide? I disapprove of suicide more than anything!'