Lilly didn't know where she planned to go. Christina had invaded her safe spots: home, Scotty's apartment, and she couldn't very well go to work. She was tired and frustrated. She wanted her life to be a video tape so she could rewind, edit Christina out, then fast forward to the end of Claire's case. She sighed. Dusk was falling and with it a feeling of discomfort. As many years as it had been, Lilly was afraid of the dark of night and the horrors that dusk brought. She wished she'd driven instead of walked. She still had nowhere to go. She started to cry again. After years of holding it in, the dam inside of her had finally burst. She saw the flash of headlights and heard the car come to a stop. She saw the driver get out. I'm not going to fight back this time, she thought resignedly. The person spoke, shocking her.

"Lilly, get in the car. Please. I'm going to take you home."

"No! Why should I? You've lied to me. You betrayed me. You didn't listen to me and look what happened." She started walking quickly away, but he grabbed her sleeve.

"I'm not letting you walk. It's dark. You don't know who's out there. I'm on my way there anyway. Now get in before I have to use force," he said. His tone was light, but Lilly still eyed him warily.

"No."

His grip on her wrist tightened. "I care about you, Lilly. I don't want you to get hurt."

"If you care so much, then why didn't you listen to me?"

"Lil…" his eyes were pleading. "I don't know. Because I'm an idiot. Just get in the car. I can't fix this, but I wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry. Now, would you please get into the car?"

She sighed. "Will you let go if I do?"

He let go of her wrist. She got into the car.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "This is the last thing I need right now. For now, I'll go and talk to her. But for the long term…"

"I know. Scotty?"

"What?"

"Promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Promise me you won't let her talk you into anything stupid?"

"Promise."

Lilly closed her eyes. She didn't feel angry anymore. There was something else, though. Sadness, maybe. She sighed again and felt the car come to a stop. She opened her eyes.

"We're here," Scotty said.

She got out of the car and walked into the house without saying a word. She listened to Christina greet Scotty excitedly and heard him say, "We need to talk." She curled up on her bed. Jealousy, that's what it was. Christina didn't deserve that man or that baby. Lilly let her mind wander to the long-ago days when she could say she was truly happy. She wondered where he was, if he had that farmhouse and wife and daughter, if he'd forgotten all about the woman who still thought she might love him, or if he was alone too. She got up from the bed and went into the kitchen to get the phone book. Scotty was talking in a low, calm voice to Christina, and neither of them acknowledged Lilly. She tried not to think about what might have been in Christina's glass as she took the phone book back to her room and flipped through it until she found the number. Hands shaking, she dialed.

"Hello?" in ten years, his voice had not changed, a fact that was somehow immensely comforting to Lilly.

"Hi."

"Uh…who is this?"

"It's Lilly," she said.

"Lilly who?"

She felt a lump forming in her throat. "Lilly Rush."

"Oh…Hi."

"…I miss you." Softly, tentatively. A test.

"God, it's been so long. How've you been?"

"Alive. Are you…?" the word hung suspended between them. Married.

"Oh, I'm married. Been for seven years. We've got a little girl, she's four, Harley. And a kid on the way."

"Oh."

"How's Christina?"

Lilly put down the phone and sat down on her bed. Clutching the phone book to her chest, she cried until she was exhausted.

Scotty's car was still parked on the curb when Lilly woke up. Irritably, she made coffee and left a note on the kitchen table: "Gone in to work. Be back in time to take Chris to 2:00 doctor appt. --L". Then she fed the cats and left the house.

"Lilly! What are you doing here? It's your day off!"

"I doubt you want to hear about it," she muttered.

"Is Scotty coming in?"

"Doubt it."

"What's going on, Lilly?" Stillman hated playing Lilly's guessing games. She worried him.

"Oh, nothing. My sister's pregnant, Scotty's the father. I phoned my ex and he's married. I have no place to go seeing as both Christina and Scotty invaded my house, I've gotten nowhere in this case and my life has gotten so pathetic that I come willingly to work on my days off, that's all."

Stillman studied her face, trying to see if she was kidding.

"I'm going to see Madeleine McCarthy."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"If you want to."

"Did Marjorie and Grace testify at Ricky's trial?"

Madeleine nodded. "They told ridiculous lies."

"Oh?" this came as no surprise to Lilly.

"Well, stories. All the stuff that Mr. March did, they said Ricky did."

"Why?" Stillman asked.

"I don't think they knew what they were doing. Marjorie was full of shit anyway and Grace was trying to tell on Mr. March and Ricky was already in trouble, thus making him an easy target."

"But you told the truth."

Madeleine took a breath. "Not at the trial."

"Why not?"

"Because I never saw him turn left. He did, I know he did, but I never saw him do it."

"So you said you didn't see him turn left."

Madeleine nodded. Lilly patted her hand. "You did tell the truth."

"I think I incriminated him."

"If Grace and Marjorie's stories were worse, I doubt it was you," Stillman said reassuringly.

"I still wish I'd said he turned left."

"We know. You told the truth, and we're proud of you for that."

"Ha."

"It means we can trust you to tell us what you know."

"I suppose."

"We're going to go now but I trust you'll phone with any new information."

"I will."

"She's so helpful," Lilly said as they walked back to the car. "She really wants to help Claire."

"Mmm-hmm."

Lilly checked her watch. "I want to go talk to Marjorie Nolan," she said. "If Grace has one streamer she just might have the other."

"Just remember what Madeleine told you," Stillman reminded her.

"I think forty years changes people," Lilly replied.

Stillman shook his head. "I'm coming with you."

"Okay."

"Good afternoon, Marjorie."

Marjorie stood, hands planted on hips. "I thought I told you…"

"Why did you lie at Ricky Froelich's trial?"

"I didn't!"

"Why are you lying to us now?"

"I'm not!"

"Ricky Froelich never sexually abused you."

Marjorie fell silent. "No, he didn't."

"But you said he did."

"No, I didn't!"

Lilly held up the court transcript. "We've got it right here."

"I was just a little kid!"

"Madeleine McCarthy was a little kid, too," Lilly pointed out.

"So?"

"She told the truth."

"There was no one else in the field when I was there. Maybe the…man…who killed her came after I left."

"Stop lying to me!" Lilly shouted. "I want you to tell me the truth!"

Marjorie shrugged. "There's nothing to tell," she said.

"Okay, you know what? I can't force it out of you. But you know what else? Someone hurt Claire and we want to find out who it was. You know who did it, and we want you to tell us."

Marjorie folded her arms across her chest. "No," she said calmly.

"There's nothing to lose here," Stillman said.

Marjorie stiffened further. "I don't have to tell you anything," she said childishly.

"You're right," Lilly said. "But it would make you a better person if you did."

Marjorie snorted. "What do you know about being a good person? You muck around in other people's lives, digging up what they've tried to forget. You must be a very lonely person, if you want my opinion."

"I'm not lonely," Lilly whispered. "You know nothing about me."

"And you know nothing about me."

"You're right. I don't."

"So why do you pretend to?"

"I don't. I do my job."

"Something tells me you're a little to attached to your job. It's the only thing you have left."

Lilly threw her hands up in frustration and left the house. Stillman gave Marjorie one of his infamous looks and followed her.

"I'm going to take Christina to her doctor's appointment," she said.

"Tell Scotty to phone me."

"I will. Lilly's hands were tense. "I think it was an accident," she said.

Stillman looked at her. "Lil, she was raped," he said.

Lilly flinched. "…You have to think broad," she whispered. "Children play what they know."

Stillman raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say. It's your case."

Scotty was sitting at Lilly's kitchen table when she got home.

"I didn't sleep with Christina last night," he said.

Lilly looked at him, disbelieving. "You didn't?"

"I'm more mature than that. I keep promises."

"Where is she?"

"Downstairs. Why did you go into work?"

"Nowhere else to go. I was angry."

"…Who'd you call last night."

"Patrick McCollum."

"Who?"

"My ex. Christina's first victim."

Scotty laughed. "Why?"

"I was lonely."

"I…uh…put the phone book back."

"You were in my room?"

"I came in to check on you. I worry. Ever since…well…I worry."

Lilly smiled. "You're a nice guy when you want to be." She went downstairs to get Christina, feeling almost happy. "Come on, Chris."

Christina stuck her head out the door. "Where are we going?"

"To the doctor."

Christina groaned. "Do I have to?"

"Do you want to give birth to a healthy baby?"

"I guess."

"Then I guess you'll have to come."

Christina grumbled. "Hold on."

"Hurry. I don't want you to be late."

Half an hour later, Lilly and Scotty were sitting in the waiting room. Lilly wasn't angry anymore, though she still struggled with the idea of forgiveness. She flipped absently through a Parent's magazine and wondered if she would wind up with Christina's responsibility yet again.

"Scotty, did you and Christina talk last night?"

"Of course."

"What about?"

"Well, we're not "together", and I told her that she couldn't dump the baby on you."

"Are you going to be part of the baby's life?"

"She said she was gonna take it to New York."

"Oh." Lilly set the magazine down. "Let's see how long that lasts."

"Hey, did you get anywhere at work?"

"Marjorie and Grace lied at Ricky's trial. Then we went to talk to Marjorie, she lied some more."

"Who's 'we'?"

"Stillman and I."

"Stillman was with you?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He wanted to. He said for you to phone him."

"Okay." The doctor finally came out of her office.

"Lilly Rush? May I talk to you?"

"Sure." Lilly stood up.

"Your sister is extremely stubborn. She hasn't stopped smoking or consuming alcohol and she was fairly adamant that she wasn't planning on it. I gave her some information on smoking and drinking during pregnancy and a prescription for vitamins. She's about five months along, due October 19, though if she doesn't improve her lifestyle, I'd expect the baby as early as the end of August."

Lilly nodded, trying to absorb all of the information. She would talk to Christina while they were going to the pharmacy. Leave it to Christina to refuse to help herself. That would require effort.

"I'm going to tell her to come on out." The doctor disappeared back into her office. Christina came out into the hallway. Lilly opened her mouth to start talking, but Christina interrupted her. "Don't lecture me," she said. "The doctor already did."

"Don't be stupid," Lilly replied, "and I wouldn't have to."

"Mom did it," Christina argued.

"You don't want to be like Mom."

"We turned out okay."

"That's debatable," Lilly muttered.

"What's that?"

"Nothing. Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

"Let's go get something anyway."

Later that evening, Lilly reflected back to the events of the past few days, trying to come up with something semi-normal. Scotty Valens was asleep on her couch, her sister was pregnant, she'd cried a lot, she'd been angry with Scotty and she'd been so frustrated that she'd yelled at a witness. She rolled over, flicked off the light, and fell asleep.

"Lil! Are you okay?"

Lilly buried her head in the pillow. "Turn off lights," she mumbled.

"You had a bad dream. You were screaming."

"Okay now. Turn off light."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmm-hmm…Go 'way." She was already half asleep again. The dream had been scary, but it was just a dream. Once she'd gotten a grip on reality, she'd relaxed. She was tired. Scotty patted her on the head awkwardly and left. She head him pad down the hallway and back to the living room.

Why is Scotty here? She wondered sleepily. Suddenly the room seemed very quiet. She shut her eyes tightly, trying to combat it. It was an old trick she'd adopted in childhood. She was tempted to suck on her fingers, too, but decided that was far too childish. Instead, she let herself relax and went back to sleep.

When she woke up much later, the sky was heavy with clouds and the house was eerily silent. She padded out into the living room. The couch was neatly made up and Scotty's car was gone. Her cats had been fed and everything was surreally neat. She checked the clock (11:30) and padded silently into the basement. Christina was still there, asleep. Lilly sighed in relief. At least the past few days hadn't been a tripped-out dream. She went upstairs to phone Scotty.

On her way upstairs, she spotted something on the steps. She bent down to pick it up and almost laughed aloud when she realized what it was: an extremely worn-out copy of the Beatles' Let It Be, which had disappeared years ago and which she'd given up trying to find.

"Let's see if this still plays," she murmured.

"Hey."

"You're finally up. I was worried I'd have to track down a prince."

"Ha-ha." Christina sat down at the table. "You found your tape."

"Yes. Why did you have it?"

"I was too scared to give it back when I took it…actually, I didn't take it, Pat gave it to me to give to you."

"And ten years later, you've finally given it back. That was nice. A little messed up, but I don't have a lot of things in my life that aren't."

"I thought you might need it."

"Need it?"

Christina shrugged. "You never know."

Lilly half-smiled. "Dad used to play them for me."

"The Beatles?"

"And Bob Dylan." She pressed her fingers together."

"Oh." Christina was starting to wonder if giving her the tape had been a bad idea.

"He and mom fought all the time and he'd put this on the record player so I wouldn't have to hear."

"Oh." Christina took a deep breath. "Who are the people in the pictures in your room?"

Lilly didn't answer right away. She seemed to be considering how to answer. "People I've helped."

"Dead people?" Christina considered this. "Why?"

"To remind me why I need to get out of bed in the morning," Lilly said simply. She clearly didn't want to talk about it. "Hey, do you want to go baby shopping?"

Baby shopping proved to be just what Lilly needed. Not even she could resist the tiny clothes, shoes and hats.

"Boy or girl?" she asked Christina.

"Well, the ultrasound lady said a girl, and that she was almost 100 percent sure. So pink stuff it is."

"What if she doesn't like pink?" Lilly was considering a red-and-white striped sleeper.

"Babies don't care. Oh, look!" Christina pointed at something on the back wall. Lilly looked. "It's pretty." She walked to the back and picked up the price tag. "It costs 90 dollars, Christina. She'd wear it maybe twice. Maybe. Babies are functional creatures. They'd rather be dressed in Onesies and sleepers."

"But it's so pretty!" and it was pretty, a fancy party dress for a 6-month-old, made from at least a hundred layers of taffeta and silk with ribbons and flowers and tiny glittering beads.

"She'd pull those beads off and eat them," Lilly said practically.

"But it's pretty," insisted Christina.

"What about this?" Lilly held up a pair of toddler-sized overalls with pink trim.

"Maybe."

"Hey, Chris, can you go back to Baby Gap and get those blankets we were looking at? And maybe some sleepers, too?"

"Okay."

Once Christina was out of the store and out of earshot, Lilly went up to the saleslady.

"What's the biggest size you have that little dress in?" she asked.

The saleslady smiled. "You caved, huh?"

"Guess so."

"It comes in 24 months and I think we have one in the back. Hold tight and I'll go check." She disappeared into the back and re-emerged with two of the dresses. "Pink or blue?" she asked.

"Pink."

"You're her sister?" the saleslady asked, wrapping the dress in tissue paper.

Lilly nodded.

"You're a good sister."

AN: Yay I can finally upload! Goodie! On an unrelated note, I got a new Indigo Girls CD. Never Stop is a sort of Lilly/Christina/Scotty song. You should all track down a copy and listen.