Office Work

Alexnandru Van Gordon

I was trying to think of another opportune time to make a comedy…and I came up with another one of my own faults. Come on—don't deny it—we've all had to go to work with our parents once or twice when we're too annoying or really bad. Except, I bet none of you did what I'm going to make Richard do (I myself have tried to do this, but it doesn't work as well as a person would hope for it too). We all have a growing hate toward someone who works with our parents…

Let's go—

All was forgotten and forgiven, but when Alfred was away to visit a funeral and every babysitter Bruce got to watch Richard couldn't handle the boy…well, needless to say, Richard was going to see what he did at the office.

"I'm bored." He muttered, ramming the back of his head against the wall over and over and over again.

"Stop that." Bruce said without looking up from his work. "You'll give yourself a concussion."

"What's that?"

"It's when you hit your head hard enough that you knock yourself out."

"Whatever…" And he stopped…before beginning again. "Can't I sit outside?"

"It's raining."

"But they're puddles!"

Bruce's pen stopped on the paper and he looked up at the nine-year-old boy. "Alfred would have a heart attack if I let you outside with the puddles."

Richard pouted and sat up straighter on the chair. "But you won't even let me walk around the place!" He whined. "And you work until dinnertime—that's hours away!"

"I would…except you broke the water fountain. How exactly do you do that?"

"…Didn't break it…just unplugged it…"

"Uh-huh—and that's why the water sprays ten feet high. If you sit there quietly for another hour, I'll let you take another walk around the building, but I need you to be good when Mr. Sampson comes in."

Now he perked up. "Who's Mr. Sampson?"

"A very annoying man I've been trying to get rid of for the last month." His pen resumed movement. "He's just checking up on some papers and then I'll be free of him forever."

"You really want to get rid of him?"

"Don't get any ideas, Dick."

"Aw, shucks…"

-R-

He made no promises…and that one thought kept him perfectly still and quiet like a good little boy until this so-called Mr. Sampson was led into the office by the secretary. He was a tall man with a handlebar black mustache and a wig—you could tell it was a wig. It was as black as his mustache and lopsided until he corrected.

God…please help me not to laugh…

He bit his lower lip as a smile crept onto his face, swinging his legs back and forth from where he sat beside the door. The man didn't notice him until he almost laughed—somehow managing to swipe the smirk off his face when the man turned to look at him.

"You must be Richard." The man said, almost bored. "Bruce's ward?"

Bruce stood from his desk and walked around to the man before shaking hands. "That's right. Which reminds me…" He turned toward his surrogate son and smiled. "You can go now, just stay away from the east side of the building. Seems to be an infestation of spiders or something along the lines of that in that area."

Wicked idea—light goes on—wanna smile cruelly but can't.

He gave a polite smile instead and left the room quietly as the two men began their conversation. Richard didn't like the guy in the least bit—call it intuition or a case of bad vibes, but he really couldn't stand being around the man. It made him wonder how Bruce handled his job as well as he did…

"Hey, Dick." The secretary chimed, looking up from her work to grin. "You going to play or something?"

"Walking." He replied. "But Bruce wants me back in about fifteen minutes. Do you know where he'll be then?"

She pointed her pen down the hall to her left. "The meeting room with Mr. Sampson. They'll be in there for a while, so don't go barging in. Mr. Sampson is going with another company and Bruce wants to make nothing goes wrong when he leaves their small 'treaty'."

He nodded and ran off—toward the east side of the building. He was lying, of course, but Mary would understand. Who liked that Sampson guy anyway? Besides—Bruce couldn't be happier that he was leaving…

Maybe he wouldn't get in as much trouble for that reason alone…

…Doubtful.

---

Getting into the roof was a cinch. The way the ceiling was made was with a set of push-up boards to hide the pipe and the cement floor of the next level. There was a fair amount of space for plumbers and such when a pipe burst or, in this case, for an exterminator to get up there for the infestation. Seemed they had a ton of spiders crawling around the building and they preferred to stay in the ceiling.

He wasn't scared.

Far from it.

Slipping into an empty office, he climbed atop one of the filing cabinets and stood up, pushing a ceiling board aside to climb into the roof. When they talked about spiders, they weren't kidding. One that scuttled past him was as big as his hand and this he caught gently before climbing out, replacing the board carefully.

"Hey there, little fella." He whispered, holding them like he was taught to in the circus. They had a ton of animals and critters for the walk along show in the zoo tents. "Time for some fun…"

-B-

"Just sign here…" He handed the papers to Mr. Sampson, a long read that would take about half an hour to check and recheck for anything the man didn't like. If Richard thought the day was long he should have tried on Bruce's shoes for the day, but hopefully he was behaving himself. The deal was that, if he was good, they would dye his hair back to black once they arrived home. The blue was fading but it could be seen in the light. It actually looked quite nice but…the boy hated blue. Go figure…

There was a thump above them and both head turned up. A second one followed shortly after before silence ensued…

"Just someone working on the pipes." Bruce assured him, sitting back in his chair with a sigh as Mr. Sampson resumed his reading. "We also seem to have spiders in the building."

"I see…" The man's eyes were pinned on the papers, not really listening.

There was a knock on the door and Bruce sighed before calling in whoever it was. Mary slipped inside halfway and beckoned him away for a phone call.

"I'll be right back." He said and left…somewhat curious of what happened to Richard.

-R-

Pushing the board aside, he peered down at the man as he stroked the spider's back. It was a wonder that it didn't bit him, but, then again, he had strange luck with animals. Before he climbed back into the roof, covered from head to toe with dust and cob webs ( and possibly a stray spider in his messy hair), he had gone to the storage room and took one of the worker ropes they used to hold up the carts for washing the higher windows. This he secured around a thick pipe and then around his waist. He wouldn't go too far into the room, but only far enough to drop the spider without getting noticed.

"Lights, camera, action…"Turning onto his back he first slid out just by holding on the ceiling with his bent knees. Then he loosed the rope around his waist and slid further until he was upside-down entirely, a leg wound around the rope to keep him that way. Loosening it even more, he silently slid down a couple of feet more before reaching down the hand with the spider. Biting his lower lip…he let go…

It landed perfectly on his head and he didn't seem to notice. He gave a shudder as though he was a bit uncomfortable, but stayed seated and continued to read. That was good—it would take Richard a while longer to get back up into the ceiling before—

"Sorry about that." Bruce apologized—Richard freezing instantly. Reading some papers, he looked up at the man just as Mr. Sampson signed the signature line at the bottom of the last page. "Thank you for—"

Eyes wide, Bruce paused mid-sentence and stared at the tarantula on the man's head before his eyes slowly moved up toward Richard.

Darn…

-B-

What…the…heck…

"Here you go, Mr. Wayne." Mr. Sampson said; standing and handing him the papers. "I'm running late and I hope I haven't used up too much of your time."

Speechless, he bit his lower lip. "No…problem. Have a nice day…Mr. Sampson…"

"You look ill, Bruce." The man said, heading for the door. "Maybe you should sit down."

"I…think so too…" And he did, back facing the door as Mr. Sampson left. Looking as calm as he most possibly could be, he crossed his legs and held his hands over one knee, sitting sideways to the table as he looked up at Richard. Hanging upside down with a rope tied around his waist and wrapped up along his left leg, the boy remained quiet as the scream of the secretary was heard and then the yelling of Mr. Sampson, cringing slightly as he sighed.

Bruce remained serious, keeping a straight face as he spoke to Richard calmly. "You do know that you're in trouble for this?"

"A lot of trouble?..."

"A lot more than a lot."

"That bad, huh…."

He licked his lips, trying his hardest to speak in a way that held authority but wouldn't make the boy cry. "And….why exactly did you do it?"

"You said you hated him."

"No I didn't."

"You implied it."

"So you decided to attack him with a spider."

"Scare him with a spider." The young boy corrected, sighing again as he continued to hang upside down.

"Ah, scare him….and what did you think would happen after that?"

"…He'd panic and run off."

"What good does that do you?"

"I was seeing how brave he was."

And eyebrow arched. "Why?"

"Brave men do business with you; if they aren't brave then they have no business with you at all."

Ooh….was that supposed to be an insult or a compliment? Hard to tell when you couldn't read a boy's face upside down and a couple of feet above your head.

"So you're saying that I'm mean?"

"In a way, yeah."

"Dick, you won't know what mean is until we get home."

By now the shouting had died down and it was quiet outside in the hall. Hopefully Mr. Sampson was gone and didn't suspect Bruce or his ward of anything, otherwise he's have hell to pay. Then again, Mr. S would have been storming back into the office had he thought it was some sort of cruel joke on his behalf. He was a mean man but he trusted Bruce.

"What are you going to do?" He asked in a quiet voice, looking smaller and more innocent. It was a miracle his face wasn't red yet from the blood rushing to his head, and it was a miracle that Bruce didn't just let the boy get away with it now. It was hard to punish a kid.

But then he grinned.

"Richard, I'm not going to anything too mean. It's what I'm not going to do that you should be worried about."

---

"I hate you…"

Bruce patted Richard's head, the woman he was taking to walking away to speak with someone else. It was another one of his 'get-together's' with the important people of Gotham City. Richard hated having to attend them but he was somewhat used to them—it was a fact that he wasn't allowed to dye his hair back to black for another week that drove him nuts. Not only that, but he was wearing a dark blue suit, something he swore he would never wear.

"You look so cute in that colour." One lady commented, striding by with her husband as she gazed down at the adorable boy beside Bruce. "It matches your eyes."

Richard kept from scowling, but found it hard to do when Bruce elbowed him gently to reply. "…Thank you, Ms."

She smiled and left too like the other woman, leaving the two together with a long eerie silence.

"I hope you know this is far from over." Richard said, voice as deep and as threatening as he could make it. It was quite serious, but Bruce couldn't help but smile.

"Another war?"

"Yep."

"…Bring it on, young man."

-A-

It continues! But I'll be gone for a while because of Finals! They start tomorrow—eek! Yelp! Someone save me…Nah, I'm fine. I'm not nervous, just desperate to get it over and done with so summer can finally come. See you guys around!

Until Again,

Alexnandru Van Gordon