Careful Planning

Alexnandru Van Gordon

(Laughing like crazy!) I guess I should clear up the last chapter. What happened to me was that I ended up coming with my dad to his unit (he's a Captain in the army) and all the guys were yelling orders at each other on the parade square. One guy was looking at me like he wanted to kill me, so I climbed up onto the ceiling boards from one of the small offices with a can of pop. I was going to drop it into his office while he was gone (coming and going unnoticed) but I didn't get too far. Someone found the board loose and fit it back into place, I got lost…and yeah. This guy helped me down and I'm lucky he didn't tell my father. But I think I was…no, I'm sure I was nine. I climbed up on the file cabinets and I think I busted one of the shelves. Darn…that explains so much to me now….

Let's go—

Okay…so he tried to help Bruce out and ended up getting punished. How is that fair? His hair was driving him nuts and summer had only begun…there was still so much time left for him to do something to the guy. Paint was out of the question—too much of that—and getting him soaked had already been done…what could he do that would be so perfect…

He needed Babs…

"You said you needed me, shortie?" Barbra asked, sitting outside with Richard in the backyard. Alfred was out watering his plants again while Bruce worked in his office—the opportune time to put something together, and Richard had just the idea.

He just needed to clear some stuff up.

"You like playing pranks, right?"

"You bet. Who we do'in?"

She was already into it and he didn't even have to say please.

"Bruce."

She paused with a contemplating frown, stroking her chin with one hand. "I see…I always wanted to get back at that man for his stiffness. I think a good kink in his neck would be nice for him—but it has to be extreme, little man! I'm not doing some stupid drop paint on him antic…"

"Done that so far." He sighed. "But I have something big planned, but only if I'm right. Bruce is what they call a…"

"Businessmen?"

"No…"

"Meanie?"

"Yes, but not that…"

"Playboy?"

"Yeah." He snapped his fingers. "What is that?"

She hesitated and arched an eyebrow. "Does it have anything to do with the plan?"

"You bet!"

"Alright then…"

-Al-

Alfred was a noble and loyal man, someone who knew everything on how to be proper ranging from every category. From the way you eat to how you deal with people, and he would not have any nonsense from Bruce or Richard in this household. The occasional pranks were, he had to admit, amusing, but only so-long as the boys cleaned up after themselves. So far the level of pranks had been slowly increasing and he had no idea when either would strike next. He suspected Richard, but what could the boy do that would out-smart Bruce entirely? Unless he attacked the man through someone else…

Richard was a smart boy. He'd probably think of something.

Entering the house after the gardening, he settled himself in the kitchen with the newspaper as water boiled on the stove in the kettle for tea. It was then that the phone rang.

"Wayne Residence." He said politely.

"Oh, sorry for bothering you, but we have a message for a Bruce Wayne. Is he free to speak?"

"I'm afraid that he's busy at the moment, but would you be able to leave a message?" He replied to the young woman. Sounded like she had a cold…

"Certainly, but make sure he receives it as soon as possible."

"May I ask whose calling?"

"Oh—the UPH&APO."

Alright… "May I ask what that stands for, madam?"

"Unplanned Pregnancy Help and Abortion Pregnancy Organization."

He froze. "And what would you like me to tell Mr. Wayne?"

"His girlfriend's test results are in. She's pregnant."

"Thank you—" He said quickly before hanging up and storming from the kitchen. Bruce was in for it now…

-R-

He sat with Barbra in the living room just beside Bruce's office. Slipping her cell phone into her pocket, they snickered a bit until Alfred came strolling around the corner so fast that a vase almost fell over—and he didn't care to stop and make sure it stayed upright. Alfred wouldn't even knock on the door he was so furious, opening it and stepping inside, slamming it behind him.

"You'd better run now, short-stuff." Barbra giggled as the yelling began. Well, Alfred was really the only one yelling. Bruce was too stunned to say much of anything now and Richard was laughing his head off. "It won't be long until Bruce figures out it was you."

"Won't you get into trouble too?"

"Don't care. Bruce deserves it. Besides—how are they going to know it was me on the phone?"

He nodded and stood, running from the room as Bruce began to gently argue his own case to Alfred, trying his hardest to convince the old man that he hadn't been sleeping around. Richard had heard rumors, but maybe now they would know for sure…

What did he care? His number one worry was what would happen to him now that the deed was done.

-B-

He found himself strolling outside in the garden after he couldn't find Richard. It was night and he was sure the boy was up in one of the trees. To his surprise he was, sitting up high in the branches to watch the stars.

"Touché, Richard…touché."

The boy, startled, almost fell from the tree. He stared down at Bruce…a little worried now that he had been found out. "How'd you know?"

"Went to the kitchen phone and pressed re-dial. Barbra came up and…you get the picture…"

God that kid had done it good…The moment Alfred strode into his office he thought there was a fire somewhere in the house. The facial expression suggested otherwise. It wasn't easy to get Alfred angry, and when he started accusing him of getting some girl he wasn't married to pregnant he let Bruce have it. It was like Hell rose up to earth. He was, for the most part, speechless.

It was when Alfred said that it was the UPH&APO that called, the first clue was given away. That was in Canada, not America. When he went to the kitchen phone and re-dialed, Barbra was the first to pop up, chiming and as cheery as ever until she found out she was talking to Bruce. Well, Bruce called up her father and through him got the news that Richard was behind the plan. Both kids were foolish to try such things…but also quite clever. Richard actually had Bruce as a nervous wreck.

"What does touché mean?" Richard asked as Bruce climbed up the tree, sitting next to him on the large branch.

"It means, well counter-attack. I attacked you and you got back at me just as well—or even better—than how I got you. It's a compliment."

"But I'm still in trouble?"

"You bet."

"Now?"

"…Nope. It's like they say in the movies—revenge is best served cold."

Richard shivered.

-A-

Gotta go write my Social Final now. I hope you liked this chapter and yes…this is the never-ending war—and NO, I did not try this on my own. I'd be long dead if I did…

Until Again,

Alexnandru Van Gordon