Making Bets

Alexnandru Van Gordon

Ah yes, my work of the two partners bickering endlessly has seemed to have crept up behind me again. I can't help but continuously search for new ideas and most of them I find through experience…although, I've never had to take a pregnancy test and, unless my gender is suddenly switched over-night, I doubt I ever will. This next mishap happened to a close friend of mine. Here's a piece of advice—never strike a deal with the devil…especially when you're a kid.

Let's go—

In the beginning of the game it was simply a flaring anger and the aching huger for revenge that drove them both to get back at the other as soon as possible. Even though Richard's last trick against him was horribly embarrassing and quite devious, it was well planned out in such a short amount of time, the public didn't get word of it, and he did nothing against the law in order to fulfill his plans. In short, it was fair play…to a degree.

The thought of a nine-year-old boy not even chest height to Bruce out-smarting the man made him feel beyond furious. But he could be patient. In their silent agreement of the game, they were uneven in the scores and now it was Bruce's turn for pay-back.

But he had to think of something first.

The evening of the last incident went by slowly and Bruce left with a giggling Richard back to Wayne Manor after talking with the other guests about fund raisers and an up-coming costume party. He was too embarrassed to explain why his surrogate son and Barbara Gordon kept laughing their heads off every time they saw him that night, and he silently swore that he would make Richard feel a similar humiliation as soon as the next up-coming event presented itself on the calendar.

Which just so happened to be the costume party in three days.

Now, he had to do this as intelligently as Richard—and with as much honour. Although Richard had his good laugh behind his back with Barbara, he did not let anyone else know about his little prank on Bruce. It was set out to see Bruce's separate embarrassment. Bruce would have to do likewise. Something had to be done to Richard that the boy would wallow about on his own—something that made him suffer but not in the public's eye…like his fetish against blue. It would leave in years to come—you often grew to like what you once hated in your younger years (sometimes…)—but he despised the colour so much that he hated wearing a blue suit to their last party. No one else saw anything amiss.

He had to come up with something like that. In conclusion, it had to happen at the party and it would have to do with something Richard hated…

It wasn't until the day after Richard's prank that Bruce came up with the first half of his plan. Actually, it was caught by an absolute stroke of sheer luck. Costumes had to be picked and neither of them wanted to choose something. Alfred had been berating at them for at least a week to come up with something but Bruce wanted to go simply as himself while Richard didn't want to go at all.

"I'd rather go to bed early." Richard grumbled, taking a seat next to Bruce on the couch. The man flipped through the channels and sipped at a glass of water, stopping when he saw a movie. It was an old classic, a black and white version of Peter Pan.

"If I have to put up an act for the public, so do you." Bruce stated bluntly. "Just smile and act like a perfectly sweet little boy."

"I'm not little."

"Tell that to mirror."

Richard crossed his arms and grumbled something low in protest, but settled down to watch the movie. It was when the movie neared its end that Bruce offered help.

"Why don't you go as Peter?"

The boy blanched and he turned his head swiftly to face Bruce. "You've got to be joking me!" He squeaked. "Tell me you didn't fall on your head the last time we went out on patrol!"

Bruce paused in honest confusion and stared back at his ward with growing curiosity. "…Why not?"

"Why not!" Richard waved his hand toward the screen. "Because Peter's a girl, you ninny!"

He was taken by surprise, but found the answer quite amusing. "Hello—Peter is a boy!"

"Watch!" Richard pointed to the screens, the credits rolling up on a black background. Sure enough, when they listed the actors, it was a girl's name that showed up as Peter Pan instead of a boy's.

"…Why would they do a thing like that?"

Alfred, who was standing behind the couch, smiled. "Boy's grow up too fast, Master Bruce. Girls and young ladies maintain a higher pitched voice and the small figure of a young boy. It makes it easier for the directors to use an older actor who has more experience to play an opposite gender part than have a distracted younger boy, if it can be helped. Naturally, girls can get away with it fairly easy."

"I see…but still—Peter's a small, energetic, clever kid who wears spandex and fights villainous pirates—I think that fits with Richard quite well, don't you?"

Alfred chuckled merrily and Richard blushed several tones darker into a rosy red. That hit the spot. Only Richard would feel despair at taking up a role played by a girl. Bruce had seen other little boy's dress up as Peter for Halloween—only a kid who did research for a living would know the part originally belonged to a girl.

The perfect revenge.

Richard must have seen the smirk on his face because he shook his head desperately and started to complain. "Oh—no, no, no, no, no! I don't care what you say!"

"It doesn't matter if you care or not. This is my house and you're my responsibility—you can either go as Peter Pan or I'll ground you from patrol for the rest of the week."

The boy gapped in shock and his shoulder slouched sadly. "…Please don't make me do this Bruce. At least give me a chance."

Hm?

"A chance?"

"Yeah…you know—make a bet? If I lose I go as her"—He made sure to say the word with as much venom as he could muster—"and if I win I get to pick something else."

As strange as it may seem…fair enough.

"Fine…but I chose what we're betting on…"

-R-

He never knew a crueler man. If the price for losing wasn't bad enough, the bet was even worse, especially since it concerned Barbara through-out the whole deal. Bruce probably thought he wouldn't do it, too risky, but what Bruce didn't know was that Richard didn't mind taking risks. For heavens sake, he used to swing around and do flips hundreds of feet up into the air before he was adopted. What made him think he wasn't going to do it?

But, with all honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that he had to be Peter Pan if he lost, he probably would have admitted defeat on the spot.

"This is so insane." Robin growled, sitting in the passenger seat with Batman as they started off from the first take-down of the night. "How can you be so mean?"

"I'm not mean." He replied, stern and serious, not giving a care. But Robin could tell he was grinning behind the mask, could tell that deep down inside he was laughing himself to death. Batman still didn't think he would do it.

And he probably thought that as they took down the next set of crooks, although he must have sensed some of Robin's frustration when the little boy almost bashed a man's face in with one of his running jump side-kicks off a table. Could have broken the man's neck too but Batman made no comment. He cold have said a lot of awful things, but he kept his all-knowing grin to himself until they pulled up into the alleyway behind Gordon's apartment. Barbara's room was the one on the second floor to the very left, curtains closed and lights off at this early hour of the morning, three o'clock. Robin had been staying up later and later during the summer nights, but Alfred would make sure he returned to his usual routine of bedtime once August rolled around. It was still the second week of July.

Parking the car, Batman got out and opened the back, pulling out a bag of Robin's regular day clothes. "Get dressed." He told his ward as he handed the bag to the boy and closed the doors to give him privacy. Once Robin was 'Richard' he got outside and straightened his green sweater, head titled back to look up at Barbara's window.

"If I get in trouble, I'm going to kill you."

"That's why you're getting back at Barbara for me for helping you. Besides, if you are caught by her she won't have you arrested. She already knows you're pulling pranks on people."

"On you."

"Are you buying time?"

Richard frowned and opened the trunk, taking out his things. "You don't think I'm going to do it, don't you?" He turned up his chin and shot his grappling hook toward her windowsill.

Batman crossed his arms and leaned against the batmobile. "True. Remember, if she wakes and knows it's you—"

"I know, I know—just watch." And he began his climb toward her window, utility belt the only part of his Robin costume on him. Reaching to his waist once he got to his destination, he pulled out his wires and picked the lock beneath the glass frame. Then, quietly, he pulled it upward and slipped inside…

Barbara was fast asleep on the other side of the room in her bed. Turned on one side, her back faced the window as Richard entered the room. He placed his things on the ground and stuck his head out the window; catching the two large bottles Bruce threw up to him before they hit him in the face. Then, after taking a deep breath…he set off to work…

And paused in horror when he was finished. Set up by wires, a bucket full of water balanced on her bed's headboards just above her face. The final wire led out the window to the ground where, once Richard climbed down to meet Bruce, he'd pull it and listen for her scream in the cold shower. The only problem was, every time she twisted in bed the bucket almost lost balance. She slept like an elephant for goodness sake…

"Hold still, you stupid girl." Richard muttered, and sat down on the bed by her head, looking under the bucket to search for a catch. Maybe there was something sturdier he could find to put the bucket on so it wouldn't tip over before he left.

Just as he was pushing the bucket a little to the side, two arms slid around his waist and pulled him into an awkward hug with Barbara who, still half asleep, said softly. "Hi, uncle, I didn't know you were out late."

He didn't actually hear what she said but in his usual reaction to someone grabbing him around the waist, he elbowed her in the face, waking her and successfully tipping the bucket down on both of them.

-B-

Barbara could really scream, and…Richard could too. That was a new discovery…

-R-

"You little pest!" She yelled, still holding onto him tightly around the waist as he tried to scramble away. "What was that for!"

"Please don't kill me, Barbara!" He pleaded, finally giving in and sitting on the side of the bed beside her, wringing out the lower half of his soaking wet sweater onto her floor. "Bruce put me up to it."

And then they both broke out laughing.

That woke Gordon, of course, and when he came in both Richard and Barbara were still laughing hysterically. He waited patiently in the doorway, chuckling himself as he waited for them to regain their breath before putting together the whole prank. Strange as it might have seemed, Richard didn't get into trouble with Mr. Gordon for pulling the prank.

"But, uncle! He broke into my room and spilt water all over me!" She complained, wringing out her own clothes as Richard continued on giggling.

Her uncle just shook his head and picked up the bucket which rolled off the bed onto the floor. "Serves you right for that prank you pulled on Mr. Wayne a couple of days ago, with his supposed girlfriend being pregnant."

Both Richard and Barbara paused.

Yeah…that was a good prank.

-B-

Richard kept his word and came as Peter like he said he would, although he tried to avoid Bruce as much as he could at the party, playing with the few other children, and hid behind his surrogate father when he was forced to meet someone important or someone who thought they were important.

Bruce was enjoying his revenge.

"Don't you look so cute!" One lady commented, messing up Richard's hair when he mistakenly moved too slow out of her reach. "I was going to make my Rob dress up as Peter, but he kept complaining something about girl actors…"

"Listen to him." Richard grumbled and Bruce laughed while the woman was left in utter confusion. "Or he'll hate you forever."

-R-

The only thoughts that went through his head the entire time he had to stand with Bruce (who wore a suit, the old ninny…) were too simple words:

'My turn…'

-A-

Well, this one was longer than my regular. I hope you guessed thought it was funny even though I kept switching POVs. Any way, I'll see you guys again later!

Until Again,

Alexnandru Van Gordon