A/N: I don't own em, Yuan is still being weird and I am happy because people like my story! This chappie is pretty lame however..

Thanks to

SassyRecombinantpassions

RavenGhost

SangoGrl64

for reviewing. I really appreciate it!

... and this is the update I meant to put in last night.. and earlier. Gah! I hate this warm sticky weather.. anyway..

You just don't get it

That was it. I had finally cracked. I swear, I will never forgive myself for this. I knew full well that Flanoir Potion and I do not get on well, and yet I drank it anyway. Hard to believe I could make so many stupid mistakes in one day isn't it? I don't know what it is about that damn potion, but it goes straight to my head. Any other kind of potion and I'm fine. Its just that particular one! What annoyed me the most was that Kratos knew how badly that stuff affected me and just stood there watching me drink it! He didn't even do anything to stop me when I went crazy and started dancing on the tables!...But we don't need to go into that.

Grr.. I'm so going to get him for this.

That day just had to be the worst day of my life! Or at least the most embarrassing. Let me just list what has gone wrong so far today. First, I disagreed with my hair and threw out the brush, then I stalled my Rheiard (my own damned creation!), then I got attacked by a giant bug, fell through the wall of Lloyd's house (who I still don't see eye to eye with might I add!), recovered my hairbrush but lost a battle of wills with Kratos, burst into tears in the middle of the ceremony (If that doesn't make me look like a sissy what would?), and got drunk on Flanoir potion. How fun.

See, everything was going well, until I got bored. Well, actually, I was pretty bored all day, but by the time it got dark, my feet hurt, my head hurt from all the noise everyone was making and I just wanted to go home. Unfortunately, I couldn't. Since I had accidentally glued myself to a table. I had to wait for Regal to notice, and he took his time with it, and set me free of the table. The idiot just smashed the table into little pieces so that I was walking around with large splinters of wood stuck to my clothing. So I just grabbed the drink nearest to me and slouched off into the background with it.

Kratos being Kratos, he was loitering in a menacing way near the exit..With Noishe. I swear, that damn protozoan has a thing for me. A thing about trying to bite me and swallow me whole that is. I eyed the label on the bottle Flanoir Potion, but drank some of it anyway. Flanoir potion is nice, especially if you're really cold, but I think whomever decided on the refreshments made the wrong choice by putting it in there. And, by the end of the night, I expect they did too.

However, I did manage to scare Noishe away by flapping my wings and roaring crazily. I felt so happy when he whined and dodged off in the opposite direction, that I had to giggle. How undignified right? I just couldn't seem to stand still. I was hopping around just like when I'd had that damn bug stuck to me, only this time it seemed ridiculously funny (most things did). My favourite point of the night was when I stood up on a table in the middle of the party and announced that I was going to make a speech. I got some funny looks from the people that knew me. Lloyd just looked as dense and blank as usual and Colette was giggling far too much. But mostly, everyone went quiet.

"This may amaze and shock you all," I began in a slightly slurred voice. "But my name is not Yuan. I am the incarnation of the Great and Evil Lord Yggdrassil!" (I had a lot of trouble with the name I'll have you know!"

It was at this point that Raine, Regal and Kratos started advancing on me, but of course I didn't notice.

"Since you all are pathetic inferior beings and I am great and ultimate, you all must die." At this point I attempted an evil laugh and almost fell off the table. I narrowly avoided Regal tripping me over, but I didn't notice that either. Funny what Flanoir potion can do to one's mind.

"An' I want to tell you all that I'm gonna.." I took a swig from the bottle. "Make an age of lifeless beings and crazily rip the world in two!" For emphasis, I stamped my feet and at a loud squeal, realised I had stood on Raine's hand. Oh well. Served her right for trying to stop me.

"Now die!" I began to gather mana. That is, until a purple figure leapt at me and threw me heavily to the ground. I'm sure he cracked a couple of ribs there, but at least he stopped me from casting 'indignation' on that pathetic lot.

He had me pinned down, which I didn't like much. So, naturally, I tried to get away, which I also seemed to find funny.

"Yuan!" He practically yelled in my ear. "Stop this! You almost killed a lot of people just then."

Tears filled my eyes. "I'm sorry Kratos. It was funny!" I burst out laughing in a manically hysteric way.

Kratos sighed exasperatedly. "If I let you up will you behave?"

"I'll be good," I promised him childishly.

He sighed again and let me up. So I ran off giggling. Oh this was a bad night. I will skim over the next part, since I'm sure you don't want to hear about my dancing on tables, singing and having to be stopped from doing a strip tease. Have I mentioned that this was the most embarrassing day of my life? Good. Because it was. No comparison.

Colette came over to talk to me (why?) as I was sitting sulkily on the wall where I'd began the night. She greeted me with a huge grin as if she was actually happy to see me.

I muttered something. I'm not sure what and it's probably something I shouldn't repeat since she looked as if she was about to cry.

"What's wrong with you Yuan?" She asked me, almost in tears. "You're not acting nice at all tonight."

"I'm fine," I grumped. By this point, I had gotten past the 'happy' stage of intoxication and the 'depressed' stage was rapidly advancing on me.

"Did you like Lloyd too?"

I accidentally spat out my mouthful of potion into her face. I tell you, it was so an accident! "No way!"

"It burns!" She started to scream. "My eyes! My eyes!"

"I'll save you Colette!" Yelled Lloyd, running over and giving me a death glare. I merely smirked at him and chose to ignore the fact that Kratos was dragging me away by my hair. I know, painful right? I was rewarded for 'letting my hair down' so to speak, by a smack upside the head and a sound telling off.

"I'm not a little kid," I muttered.

"Perhaps not," he replied "but you are being horrid to everyone here. I think you should go home."

I nodded. I completely agreed. I wanted to go home more than anything since I felt so damn miserable and I just wanted to cry.

"I can't. How'm I supposed to fly like this?" I was a mess. There was no way I would get very far even walking. I had trouble standing. As it was, I was clinging on to Kratos' arm for dear life - if I'd let go I would have fallen.

He eyed me critically. I supposed he found it odd. Every time I'd been drunk in the past four thousand years, I had been miserable about Martel, and this time I hadn't said a word about her. Yet. For some reason, whenever I got like that, my memories of her came flooding back. I had come to associate being drunk with Martel. I decided that I had gone out of my mind.

"I'll take you back in a moment. Just sit here would you? I'll be right back." He spoke gently. Perhaps I was reading far too much into this, but his voice seemed... fond almost. Fond + Kratos Weird. Mr. No-Emotions never shows much connection to anyone.

I obediently sat down. Not that I had much choice since my leaning post had left. What was the point of me coming here? Why did I subject myself to this utter torture! As I said before, my only reasons were pure curiosity and to see Kratos. I'd missed him. But I supposed he would go back. He would leave me like everyone else. Martel, Mithos, Botta.. Everyone I was close to left me.

Tears began to well up in my eyes once more, only this time they escaped the restraining prison of my eyes and trailed their way to freedom down my cheeks. I listened to the mournful drip drip drip, as they fell from my chin to the stone beneath me.

By the time Kratos returned, I was sobbing into my hands. This time, I did not just cry for Martel, but for everyone who's died because of my actions and the actions of my friends.

He forced a smile and gestured that it was time to leave. I tried to stand up on my wobbly legs but failed and fell against him. Out of instinct, I clung on. He sighed and lifted me up in his arms. I figured he was probably disappointed in me. Hell, I was disappointed in me, but I said nothing. I just clung on and hoped I would be able to make up for the hell I'm sure I've put him through someday.

As we rose into the air, I caught sight of the Rheiard I arrived on. It was laying on its side, looking pathetic. I turned my head and his my face in Kratos' chest, away from my day of failure. He grumbled and told me not to move so much. It wasn't like I really cared.

My home was on the hot springs island near the mountains. It was blue and dome shaped, like my precious bases. Which reminded me, I was going to have to get some of my men to clear up that hole I'd made in Lloyd's house. Stupid Lloyd.

Kratos carried me inside (where did he get a key?) and dropped me unceremoniously on the bed. I just curled up as small as I could and ignored him. Not a difficult feat since he left the room. I found it just a little odd how he seemed to know exactly where everything was in my house, but I didn't think about it much. Sleep seemed much friendlier, but I couldn't seemed to keep my eyes closed. When he returned, he placed a cool cloth on my head. Why, I don't know. Did it help? Not really. But it was nice to know he cared.

"I'm sorry Kratos," I mumbled miserably.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and I felt him touch my hair with the tips of his fingers.

"Yuan, what you don't seem to realise it that doing stuff like that hurts other people as well as yourself." He spoke gently, as if I was some sort of china doll that would break if he spoke too harshly or too loud.

I just whimpered pathetically in reply.

"You're going to feel awful tomorrow."

"I know." I reached up and grabbed his wrist. "I don't know why I did it."

"I do," he told me. "Martel. It was perhaps a shock to see what you could have had with her."

I sniffled. He didn't know the half of it. But how could I tell him that the thought of him leaving again left me so distraught?

"Not just Martel," I heard myself admit.

He sighed. "We'll talk tomorrow okay? I'm not done with you yet. Go to sleep."

He started to stand up, but didn't get far since I was holding on to his wrist and was well on the way to the welcoming darkness of sleep.

A/N:... So lame and pointless.

Since the chibi Yuan that acts as my muse has gone on strike, the next chapter will be from Colette's point of view (random huh?) and should be up soon since its pretty short. Bai!