A/N: Yes, its me again. You know, that random author that you'd forgotten all about since she hadn't updated in centuries? Sorry about that. I've just been so busy and.. yeah. Excuses. Feel free to throw rotten veg.

Thanks to:

da deltadasher demon

Lady Rina

Katandshadow

Takeru Yoshizuki

for reviewing. As usual, I love you all!

And I still don't own the characters

Moment of Truth

The first thing I noticed as feeling began to return to my aching limbs was the coolness of the sheets both above and beneath me. An absence of something that I was sure should have been there. Beside me, behind me, wherever. But there was nothing but empty coolness.

I sat up, sheets pooling at my waist. There was a distinct chill in the air, indicating the earliness of the hour. Indeed, a quick glance at the window told me that it was before dawn. My home was silent, empty. No footsteps filled the hallways, there was no sound of running water from the shower, no deep even breathing coming from beside me in the bed. That was when it hit me. He was gone. Just like I knew he would be.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath I told my shattered emotions that I knew this was going to happen. I had known from the beginning that the bastard would break my heart. But I couldn't bring myself to hate him. Everything would be so much simpler if the only feeling in my heart for him was hatred. But it wasn't. I loved him dammit! This was too damn complicated! It was never like this with Martel. I loved her, she loved me, we were together. Simplicity itself. With of course, if it were simple, it just wouldn't be nearly as fun now, would it?

Now, I had two choices. I could either ignore the fact that he was gone, push my feelings for him into the back of my mind and nurse this little flame of annoyance into a wondrous pyre of hatred, or I could just accept that he had to go back, get up and move on. This is your moment of truth Yuan, I told myself. You finally get to find out exactly how much of a sissy you are. Right. Now. Get your ass out of bed and get on with your life.

I forcefully pushed away the blankets and climbed out of bed. I made an effort to keep my body upright and still the shivers at the cold air. I was vaguely amused at my unclothed state, but took very little notice. Instead, I pushed myself into the bathroom.

Shower. Shower and everything is normal. Wash him out of your skin. Wash him away. Wash.

I scrubbed every inch of my skin raw, but he was still present in my mind. This was not going to be easy.

I wandered vaguely into the kitchen in search of breakfast. As a reached for the cupboard where I kept the cereal, my gaze caught on a folded sheet of paper laid neatly upon the worktop. I am sure, in that moment that my heart skipped two or three beats. Pathetic man.

I lifted the paper in my trembling hands and struggled to unfold it. Once open, it filled my vision with the familiar italicised hand that belonged to the new ruler of Derris - Kharlan. I licked my lips as if this would avert my ridiculous nervousness. Sinking pathetically into a seat, I began to read.

Yuan,

You have no idea how sorry I am for leaving you like that. I assure you that I fully intended to inform you of my departure, but when it came down to it, I knew you would have convinced me to stay. Its better this way.

Know that I didn't want to leave you. Not when I'd finally received the knowledge of what I've been aching to know all of these years, but my duties on Derris-Kharlan cannot be ignored. I apologise Yuan. Perhaps you are not feeling this as much as I, but I am devastated that I cannot stay with you forever. I will miss you upon Derris - Kharlan.

Now, let me tell you what I have longed to tell you for so many years: I love you. I had not the courage to tell you aloud, but I had hoped that my actions last night were enough to convince you. I'm sorry for leaving you.

Until I return

Kratos.

The letter dropped from my fingers and I became aware of the solemn dripping of my tears. My face was as wet as it had been after I had taken my shower. This note, it was too much.

I slid to my little sissy knees and broke down. That little weak flame of hatred was easily drowned in the flood of my salty tears. I could taste them on my lips and tongue. It was wrong. There had to be something else I could do! A third option. Another way.

Because I had failed my final test. I truly was the weakest man alive. I can't do this, I can't.

I was reduced to crawling back to my bedroom to get dressed. I had to keep up a sense of normality or everything would overcome me.

That was when it finally sank through my pathetically love blinded head that I did have a third option. Ironic huh?

I pulled on my clothing with renewed vigour. I knew he wouldn't have left yet. He would want to say goodbye to Lloyd and he would need supplies. He always was partial to the food from Luin...

I strode out of my house, forgetting even to lock the door, and took to the skies. He couldn't be far. It wasn't long since he had left. It couldn't have been.

My flight pattern was distorted. My mind wouldn't stay on task and without the needed concentration, my wings were jerking my body in all sorts of directions. It took me twice as long as it should have to reach Luin.

But it didn't take me long to find him. I mean, how hard could it be? He was the only man with ridiculously spiky hair and a purple grasshopper suit. Not to mention that I could sense his mana a mile off. A good sign, since Derris-Kharlan was always more than a mile away.

He was walking to the church of Martel. Was he crazy? Yes. We've already established this.

I kept to the bushes and followed him. It must have been quite a sight. A blue- haired crazy half-elf stalking an intimidating grasshopper-man. I almost got caught by the authorities and thrown in the Palmacosta jail for disturbing the peace. I mean, seriously. I was just stalking the guy.

I followed him (discreetly I might add) to the ruins of the tower of salvation.

I sucked in a deep breath, aware that what I was about to do could easily get me killed. I hesitated, and for a moment I thought it was too late.

He had stepped up on to the podium and was beginning to fade with that telltale humming sound that had become so familiar after four thousand years of hearing it. Panicked, I dashed up to the podium and threw myself in after him. I had the unpleasant sensation of my body being torn into innumerable tiny pieces and being thrown into the black velvet vortex of space. Darkness pushed heavily in on me, whispering silky words pronouncing my doom and reaching too far and them pulling away. Peace was gone. Roaring filled my delicate half-elf ears.

I was going to die.

But on the bright side, I had lived for far too long anyway, and I was going to die close to Kratos...

The scream that was torn from my lips was killed by the empty space in front of me. I heard nothing. I was not even aware of the tearing in my throat that was the telltale sign of my agony.

And then it was over. I was falling into that velvet vortex, barely conscious of my personality.

You are Yuan

It all went terribly, awfully wrong. I was smothered by wave after black filthy wave.

Yuan. That is my name. I am Yuan.

I clung desperately onto that one thought as my mind began to selfishly shut down.

Yuan

I wondered why I had done this to myself, and then I realised that it was all for Kratos. Everything. That little chance of reaching my destination and being with him was worth the much higher probability of death. He meant that much to me. And it scared me.

Don't forget Yuan.

A blinding rush of solidity flew up to meet me and as I slammed into the dark recesses of space, I clung to my identity.

Yuan.

And everything went black.

A/N: I know. Unforgivably short. I'm thinking I'll probably write the last couple of chapters at the weekend. Bye for now!