Red Roses

Her Thoughts, Like Wishes

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Inuyasha or any other character except for the ones that I myself have created in this place I call my head…some of us know otherwise though.

Yes, I decided to get rid of the Authors note before and after the stories, it makes the story lag a little and when people click on this story and see that, and not the beginning of the story, they're probably thinking the whole story is like that. So, I'm very sorry for those of thee who loved the A/n and were in it.

Another late update. So sorry. I've been busy with some other things around the house, and I decided to finally visit some friends before the summer is over…and this might be a little short, I have to hurry and get something done for a friend by the end of today (hopefully not though). And to the story we go.

Her Thoughts, Like Wishes

This was, of course, an awful beginning for Inuyasha. It had only been a few days since the attack, and he had nothing to do but mope around feeling sorry for himself…he was used to being around Kagome and hearing her laugh to Miroku's horrible jokes, and to his own silliness. All he had to do was watch Kagome, and sometimes leave the hut to go take a walk in the forest, waiting for the sound of her screams to stop scarring his heart even more. Still he blamed himself for everything that happened, but that was only natural. Something like this was unexpected, why had Sesshomaru come for her and not himself? Kagome did nothing to Sesshomaru that he could recall, except maybe defend Inuyasha in a use of words.

He took one breath of the air, it wasn't hot out that day, and it was just a normal day in this era that he had spent his whole life in, as it was all so overwhelming, how he wanted to be able to go with Kagome to her own. Smirking, he crossed his arms watching as Sango and Miroku sat side by side in the grass, talking about their travels to the mountains. That reminded him of the herbs. Kaede said to wait a few hours before they were to use them. I guess that would give me some time to rest a bit... Inuyasha sighed, walking inside the hut past Kagome's room, and into his own room. It was a normal sized room.

With a small cot for Inuyasha to sleep in, and a table next to it with a candle sitting on top. To a far corner of the room there sat a small bookshelf with three or four books, it was dusty in his room since he refused to let Kaede clean up for him. A few feet away from his bookshelf, there was a cabinet with nothing inside it but paper and a feather pen, and then a small ballpoint pen Kagome gave Inuyasha as a present, with a velvet journal encouraging him to write his thoughts in, but did he do that? No. He let Kagome down by stuffing the items in the cabinet never to be looked at again.

He laid himself down on the bed, forgetting about the covers he was supposed to go under. Instead he tossed the pillow at the door, in which he closed as soon as he entered. So he continued to lie on the bed, staring at the ceiling, it was quiet in the room…and it smelled of strawberries to Inuyasha. That made him angry, it reminded him of how Kagome usually begged Inuyasha to go pick strawberries on a Sunday with her. Instead of her picking it, Sango and Miroku were. Then the sound of chirping and singing birds chimed in, this was exactly what he needed, right? The smell of strawberries to remind him, and birds to annoy him. Inuyasha, annoyed with the things around him, sat up and trudged to the window and slamming it shut, then resumed his position on the bed. Closing his eyes, ready for a good rest.

If only it had been a well one…

Inuyasha's Dream

There I sat, watching Kagome as she was laid across the bed, sleeping. This was usual for me, I guess. But something seemed different, she wasn't in the usual room, instead she was in a dark room with the walls painted a black color. The floors were hardwood and the cabinet that was in the corner before where I found the ring, was gone. In fact everything that was there before was gone except for the door, the bed, and the chair. No windows or closets were there. Just Kagome and I as I watched her, hoping nothing would happen to hurt her. Still, something felt like it was lingering around in the room. I couldn't smell her sweet lavender smell anymore; I could smell a bitter smell. Something isn't right…I laid my hand onto her forehead, brushing my thumb against her skin. I opened my mouth to speak to her, even though she more than likely couldn't hear me, but then as soon as the word "I" came out of my mouth Kaede interrupted me, as she walked in the room with her arms crossed. "Inuyasha it's going to be fine, Kagome will rest in peace. But I want you to-."

"Rest in peace?" What the hell is she talking about? "She's alive!"

"Inuyasha, are you okay? She died earlier today, don't you remember?" Her eyes looked confused and sorrowful, and yet one of her eyebrows was raised questioning whether or not I was going crazy.

I continued to look at her uneasily, "Are you sure?" Things in the room began to act as if they were spinning and I couldn't understand what was going on. "You're lying, old hag, you're lying!"

Her eyes filled with tears, this was un-normal for Kaede. Even I knew that. "Inuyasha, please, listen to me, she's gone."

I turned back to Kagome, eyeing her and waiting to see her slowly breathing, but I couldn't see that. I didn't see that. I put my head to hear heart, and closed my eyes; I still waited…to hear that heartbeat. Nothing. I heard nothing. Then as I lifted my head up images of her smiling and laughing bolted and flashed through my mind, things were going quickly now.

An image of her hugging me, under the tree. One of her smiling after I gave her a present for the first time. So many of her, smiling and her face so bright with color. I opened my eyes and the images that I cursed at mentally disappeared, and her face was flushed of all color, and brightness. I couldn't see her eyes because she had them closed. She was dead, gone forever.

"Kaede…she's dead…" I choked and spat out the words, waiting for the nightmare to end. "Please tell me she's not really, you've got to be playing a joke on me."

She shook her head at me and placed a hand on my shoulder, I sighed and looked back to Kagome as her fragile body lay still, I took her hand in mine.

Kaede watched me and still didn't say any words, she too looked just a pitiful as I did, and I was surprised myself that I wasn't doing anything to kill someone. "This isn't a nightmare, Inuyasha…she is gone…we have to respect the ways people are chosen to die, you'll have your time, too."

"Then I'll be waiting."

He awoke and jolted up from the bed and naturally ran to Kagome's room to see if she was still alive, and to make sure everything was okay. But the last part of his dream, where he was surprised about how he wasn't going to hurt anyone kept running through his mind, followed by the very last words spoken in his dream. It reminded him of Sesshomaru, the word kill, he wanted to kill Sesshomaru more than anything now. He wished he would have never done anything, and he would even get along with Sesshomaru just to have Kagome there forever. But that wouldn't work, Sesshomaru wanted her dead.

When Inuyasha got to the door, Kagome was still lying in the bed and breathing. Miroku was sitting in the chair that Inuyasha usually sat in, but he wasn't talking or touching her at all or using any of the herbs. "Miroku, what are you doing in here?"

Miroku turned around slowly, and then looked to Inuyasha, "I think it's time to use the herbs. She's…" His words were spoken slowly; he didn't want to hurt Inuyasha.

"She's?" Inuyasha wasn't ready for what he thought was coming next, dead, worse, close to death, anything. All he wanted to hear was that it was time for the herbs; nothing along the lines of she's dead.

"Ms. Kagome Higurashi is getting worse, she needs the herbs before anything worse happens to her." Miroku stood up and began walking out of the room not expecting any response from Inuyasha for he understood how he felt.

Inuyasha followed him, into the kitchen where Sango and Kaede were, baking treats for tonight's dinner. There was an awkward silence that filled the room as Inuyasha entered, he figured they knew about his dream he had just had. But how?

"Hello there, Inuyasha." Kaede smiled to him as he looked around to each person, Sango was sitting at the table with her hands over each other as she twiddled with her fingers, a few feet away Miroku stood facing Inuyasha now expecting a response to Kaede, and Kaede was next to a pot of boiling water. Inuyasha felt different in this situation, everyone was trying to be nice to him. Just yesterday he had overheard them saying to be normal toward Inuyasha to help him forget.

Inuyasha sighed as he looked at them, "Forget your act. Why are you being so nice and looking at me like that?"

Sango hit her hands against the table, and then looked around acting as if she didn't mean for that to happen, "…Sorry…um…Inuyasha, I walked into your room and saw you tossing and turning on your bed, so I knew you were having a nightmare about Kagome."

Well, they pretty much had him figured out now, so he decided to change the subject before anything else happened, "What about those herbs?" Inuyasha cleared his throat, "We need to help her get better now."

Kaede nodded and agreed, she then turned off the boiling water next to her and then with a wooden spoon she stirred the herbs she had in the black kettle, and then removed all the water and put the herbs in a bowl as she had created a soup for it. Kaede handed Miroku the herbs and then they both went into Kagome's room, shooing Sango and Inuyasha off as they both tried to follow.

Since Inuyasha wasn't allowed to follow them into the room he took this as an opportunity to think about his dream he had just experienced, he ran the dream through his mind many times and one point kept him left in confusion, Kaede had told him that he wanted him to do something. But what was it? He wanted to know, maybe it was a sign. That he had to do something. Was it that she wanted him to…bury Kagome's body? Nah, she isn't even dead! And even if she does…die…He paused, and sighed. I don't want her to, but even if she does die I don't want her to be buried…I want her to stay in a bed.

He questioned himself in his mind, asking everything that came to mind and finally came to a conclusion that it had something to do with her family or friend. But he couldn't think of anything. The Hanyou sat on the porch, rocking back and forth in Kaede's rocking chair, and it suddenly began to rain and storm horribly, he didn't mind it, it helped him fit his mood.

"The soup will work well, Miroku. Thank you for the idea." Kaede smiled and slowly put a spoonful of the soup into Kagome's mouth, some of it spilled out dripping to her neck but that's why Miroku brought a towel.

Miroku smiled back to Kaede, showing his respect and wiped the bit of soup, after a few moments of waiting…they began to get impatient. "Do you think she'll wake up? I'm not sure if we have enough herbs, though. One spoonful is supposed to wake her up for at least a short period of time to let her get the rest of it…"

There was a silent for a few minutes, until Kagome finally began opening her eyes. "Miroku, go get Inuyasha."

Immediately Miroku ran to get Inuyasha, "Inuyasha come to Kagome, hurry. She's awakening."

Hearing this Inuyasha was excited, thinking she was going to be awake permanently. He jolted up and ran into Kagome's room, seeing her laughing with Kaede as she began drinking the soup and eating it slowly. "Kagome!" Inuyasha's eyes lit up, seeing her smiling and laughing once again made him happy.

"Inuyasha!" She smiled again, and put the soup in her lap and he ran to her to hug her, "The last thing I remember happening was Sesshomaru hitting me…" Her voice got quieter.

He squeezed her tighter, searching for the right thing to say, "Don't think about that right now." He noticed her weakening.

"Let her finish her soup, she needs it." Kaede didn't want to explain the whole situation where she might not make it, and that the spoonful was to temporarily wake her up so she could eat the rest and get well.

Inuyasha glared at Kaede but then understood, she hadn't eaten after all…and the soup contained the herbs she needed. He felt like being kind toward Kagome, so he picked up the spoon and fed Kagome for her, "You need your strength." He smiled as he whispered to her.

She nudged him gently and finished off the soup; she then lay back down and let out a long breath of air. "What's…new?" Everything she said began to go slower.

Kaede noticed this and nodded toward Miroku that meant that she was about to fall back asleep until she healed. But after she nodded to Miroku, she noticed that his look was a bit worried, and she knew why. He knew they didn't have as much herbs as they were supposed to have, but it seemed to be working so far.

"Nothing's changed much, since Sesshomaru hurt you…" Inuyasha was smiling; he couldn't take the smile away, even to the mentioning of Sesshomaru.

Kagome took her hand and placed it on Inuyasha's cheek, then she pulled him close to her for a tight hug and when she let go she relaxed against the warm pillows she had spent days warming up. "I feel like I could stay up for days…but I think…I'm about to…go back to…a coma?" Her voice was questioning. And Inuyasha' s smile faded, he figured that Miroku didn't get enough herbs, that was his first thought.

He fell silent, and Inuyasha didn't know what to tell Kagome now. Her eyes were fluttering open and shut now, and as soon as they were completely closed Kaede stood up.

"It's okay Inuyasha, she is in a worse condition than before, but the herbs will help a lot. I admit that Miroku and Sango could not collect as many herbs as planned, but we have Sesshomaru to blame for that. She will awaken in a few days and things will be okay. But…I'm feeling…" Kaede put her hand on her head, and sat back down, "I'm hearing Kagome's voice in my head…she's speaking…"

Miroku came closer to Kaede, and left the corner of the room, he sat on his knees to the floor, and looked toward Kaede, "What do you mean?"

As for Inuyasha, he himself was confused as well and he was still completely silent, everything was once again going quickly like in his dream he had just had not too long ago. Sango came into the room, with a confused look on her face seeing Inuyasha.

"Why didn't anyone call me in before?" She walked to Inuyasha and put a hand on his shoulder, "She's going to be fine. I heard her talking but wasn't so sure she'd be in the mood to see me, I didn't protect her, remember?" She sighed, and then looked to Kaede and Miroku, "well…what happened?"

The priestess was still holding her head, with the Monk below her questioning her, "I think she's saying… 'I wish things could get…' and I can't understand the rest. Inuyasha, it's to you, she has that voice when ever she is speaking to you." Kaede took her hand away from her head and looked to Inuyasha, he was surprised.

"What the hell…you can hear her? And I CAN'T!" He froze, jealous that they could hear Kagome's soft voice and yet he couldn't, "I should be the one that can hear her!" He stood up, "What else is she saying?"

Sango looked to Kagome, her body was still. "Calm down, Inuyasha…"

Kaede gave Inuyasha a hand motion to wait, and hold on, then after a few moments of silence she began speaking again, "She says, 'I'm sorry, so sorry…Inuyasha, I'll be fine.' I'm feeling a bit tired now; I think I need some rest. I've done so much…and Inuyasha, she will be fine, even she says so herself." Kaede smiled her own sort of smile, "Sango, could you finish up dinner for me?"

She nodded in response to Kaede and then followed Kaede out; Miroku followed, too, but went outside instead to think of how such a thing could happen. Inuyasha stayed in the room, it was just himself this time. Kagome and him. "Kagome can you let me hear your thoughts? Please? Just…at least one time?" He put his hand to his head, hoping something would happen.

But nothing happened, he sighed, standing up and giving up on it all.

The time for dinner, soon came around and Miroku was first at the table, as he awaited the special food to be placed in front of him. Sango was working a little slower tonight, thinking about everything that had just happened earlier. But Miroku was fine with that, he knew she needed her time to think things through and it was important to her that she knew. Miroku sat in silence instead of speaking to her.

Next to the table was Kaede, awakening from her nap she had, she didn't speak about anymore thoughts from Kagome, figuring it would be best not to bring it up at the dinner table. She stood back up after she sat down, noticing Sango was having small trouble finishing up the last of the potatoes, wanting to stir them but needing to stop the boiling water a few feet away.

When they were finally done, they sat down at the table with much food to eat in front of them, but they didn't start because one person was missing- Inuyasha. They knew he didn't run away, or anything like that, he was just in his room or with Kagome. "I think we should go ahead and start, he'll be late anyway, and he needs to think." Kaede passed the bread to Sango as she spoke.

"And this food I made won't stay hot forever." Sango giggled to what she said, Miroku smiled to her.

"I agree. It's best he has his time alone." Miroku sprang toward the food; it was the first thing he had eaten all day.

It didn't take as long as they expected for Inuyasha to arrive to the table, "Eh…sorry?"

Kaede looked to him, "It's fine, everyone needs to think sometimes."

"I guess I was just…fashionably late?" Inuyasha sat down, searching the table for ramen, but when he saw none, he was disappointed; the 'perfect' dinner would involve having it. But he put up with it; it was the big dinner Sango made anyway.

I'm sorry it is short isn't it? Took up 6 pages in word, I'll make it up to you by making the next chapter longer. And updating Looking In The Past sooner, I've just been so busy and I have to go hurry and read the summer books I'm supposed to read for school.

Reviews Ch. 2

Mental Mess: Lol, I'll keep watching out for those, I think one of them attacked my neighbor! Yea, I tried to make it longer than before and improved on the whole he said/she said thing. I'm trying to greatly improve on my writing to get more reviews and hits, it's not working that much but at least I have you guys!

Aku Doujou: Aw, it's okay. I don't hate you or anything; I don't mind you having that review. I actually enjoy that someone would have the guts to say it, lol. I don't like chapter one that much, it's too short and rushed into things a lot quicker. Thanks for saying sorry though and reviewing again!

Inhyel/Hy: I understand, I'm thinking about going to after I finish up the stories I have going now for a while and then come back after I make a story or start one. My sister's pen name is queenmeep, she'll really appreciate you being able to read it, and I've told her a lot about you! She LOVES reviews, by the way. Lol

DarkMale: I agree, but I didn't almost eliminate them, I did eliminate them. I like those lines too, that's one of the reasons why I wrote them. Have you gotten to read Jenny's new chapters yet? She's gotten very well and the build up to it is great. You still need to see all of the Star Wars movies.

xWhit3Starx/Diana: It's sad that she's leaving but at least she's still sticking around some. I need to go look at some of her stories there, I'm sure they're really good. So how's your summer been so far?

Next Update by: Again, not so sure. Sorry.

A kiss on her crimson lips
And she fights back the tears
With death just a moment away,
She preys to stay
I'll love you forever,
I promise

8.8.05