Disclaimer: Kidou Senshi (Mobile Suit) Gundam SEED and its characters are copyright 2000-2004 Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, and MBS. English language adaptation produced under license by Bandai Entertainment.
In other words, I don't own the original intellectual property.
A/N
Question: Why the heck did updating screw everything up? This story got dropped from like 3 C2s instantaneously. Weird. You C2 managers can put it back up if you'd like. (i.e. please put it back up)
And a special note to KiraFreedom: Yes they do exist. Sometimes they're called bath crystals, but I believe most are composed of some form of salt to keep it in crystalline form until it hits the warm water. Quite relaxing.
I don't want any upset AxC fans begging me to change the direction of my story (since only I really know where it's going anyway) because it would screw up everything that comes after it. You're just going to have to trust me. I like happy endings too, you know. Bare with me for a couple of parts, please.
And please don't think that I wanted to portray Athrun as purely indecisive (or a jerk). Many people are riddled with doubt after getting engaged at a young age (or any age, for that matter). I wanted to portray him as human, flawed and generally inexperienced. All three adjectives fit him pretty well. I'm one for thinking that Athrun is deeply in love with Cagalli, but you'll notice in Destiny he leaves her at the drop of a hat to go join ZAFT. What the heck!
As always, thanks for reading and reviewing:-)
End A/N
Chapter 21
"Oh my God." Luna was almost hysterical when she saw Athrun's injury. She became his nurse while the others stood on lookout for Yzak and Asuka.
Ripping his shirt off, she turned it into a makeshift bandage to wrap around him in an effort to apply steady pressure to his wound. It was approximately seven inches long on his right side, possibly half an inch or more deep in places. He lost a lot of blood getting to the boat and she was having a difficult time slowing the bleeding. He wouldn't have made it at all had Kira not carried him most of the way.
"Please be alright," she whispered into his ear. With what little strength he had left, Athrun wiped away some of her tears before losing consciousness. Luna didn't react. She calmly applied steady pressure while praying silently for his survival.
"How much longer can we wait?" asked Lacus. "Athrun's injury looks quite bad."
"I don't know," answered Kira. He looked over to see Shinn taking care of Stellar in the boat. She was breathing regularly now, but thankfully still unconscious. Shinn promised to take responsibility for whatever damage she did when she awoke.
"Let's wait one more minute," Shinn said. "Then we'd better go." He didn't really want to stay, but he also didn't want the disgrace of losing his commander on his first mission. Especially a war hero and member of the Council.
After about thirty seconds, Kira announced "I'm going back in."
"No, Kira. You must stay," Lacus pleaded.
In the end, the discussion was moot. Seconds later explosions rang out to cover the escape of Yzak and his bodyguard. Rifle shots rang out zipping past all the members of the group.
By some small miracle, they managed to get out to sea without further incident.
Dearka was ready and waiting for them. He also had the foresight to have med teams standing by, just in case.
Two
"How long has she been in there?"
"Since we got back, I believe. I don't expect she'll be coming out soon, either." Lacus found this conversation eerily familiar. It was almost the exact exchange Athrun and Cagalli had concerning Lacus taking care of Kira after his collapse. Kira had been rescued floating in Jachine Diue space, running low on oxygen.
Now it was Luna's turn to weep over an injured Athrun.
Both Lacus and Kira were respectfully waiting outside. And both were also thinking that it would have been more appropriate had it been Cagalli in there rather than Luna.
Meyrin came by to see Athrun and her sister when off duty, but that had been a while ago. Meyrin brought some food to her sister knowing she wouldn't come out.
Athrun had not regained consciousness following their rescue. He had received blood transfusions and lots of stitches. And a significant amount of care from Luna.
"Let's go," Kira looped his arm through that of Lacus. "There's nothing we can do now."
"I'm sorry," Lacus apologized.
"It's alright. I had a feeling Athrun would end up hurting Cagalli. I just hope it all works out for the best."
"As do I."
Walking off with Lacus in tow, Kira continued "You know what's weird?"
"What?"
"For some odd reason I'm not angry about it. Back when they first started dating, I thought I might kill Athrun if he ever hurt her."
"That would change the minute you saw Cagalli crying."
"Yes. I'm sure it would. Let's hope it never comes to that."
Inside, Luna's tears rained down on Athrun's bare chest. He had bandages wrapped around his rib cage, but that was the extent of his upper body clothing. The moist drops tickled him awake.
He couldn't see clearly; just enough to see a silhouette above him. Hair that came midway down the neck flared out behind a feminine head. Someone was squeezing his left hand. It reminded him of the time he awoke to find himself in the custody of Orb. "Cagalli . . ." he whispered.
"No," a sad voice answered. Luna checked his eyes, holding up the eyelids. She didn't know what to look for to see if there was anything wrong. Perhaps she just wanted a better look at those emerald green eyes of his. That task done, she caressed his cheek with one hand while resuming the gentle squeeze with the other. "I'm not Cagalli, no matter how much I wish I was at this moment."
"Sorry. I can't see very well." Athrun tried to rise, but a gentle hand restrained him.
"You had better not. You lost a lot of blood." Now that it appeared he had made it, Luna began weeping anew. She sobbed without restraint. "I thought you were going to die."
"You shouldn't be here," he returned her squeeze as best he could.
"Do you want me to leave?"
"No." Athrun blinked away a tear of his own.
"I know you love your fiancée very much and I will not get in the way," Luna promised. "Just let me stay. Even if I can only be your friend, please let me stay. Don't send me away from you."
"It will be painful for you." And me too. "I don't want that."
"I know." Luna smiled behind the tears. His vision was clearing enough to make it out. "Perhaps we can become good friends, even if we are never to be lovers."
"I would like that." He tried to reach up to wipe away her tears, but needed her help to make it. He was very weak.
Luna took his hand and dried her tears. She kissed the hand before laying it back on his chest. Sensing his chill, she also pulled a blanket up over him.
"I'm sorry." Luna whispered.
"For what?"
No sooner had the words left his lips than she kissed him. He didn't resist. Instead, he returned it making sure she had been thoroughly kissed before it was over. As weak as he was, he managed to return some measure of passion to her. Pulling back, she tugged on his lower lip with her lips. Their eyes met, both watering.
"Sorry," she repeated.
His only response was a gentle squeeze to her hand before falling asleep.
"Thank you, Athrun. If for only this one moment, thank you for letting me have you all to myself."
Three
As Luna awaited Athrun's return to consciousness, so did Shinn with Stellar.
She was in the brig. Shinn had locked himself in the cell with her, believing she would be more calm if he was with her when she awoke. He didn't want her feeling like a prisoner, though that's exactly what she was.
Stellar's eyes began to twitch a little. Shinn sat by her on the cot, holding her hands in his. "I hope you don't try to kill me when you wake up. There's not a lot of room in here for me to get away."
"Hmm?" she stirred.
He decided to give her a soldier's wake-up call. "Name. Rank."
"Stellar Loussier. Ensign, GenoTech Research Division." She opened her eyes. "What happened?"
"Do you remember me?"
"What kind of gentleman answers a lady's question with another question?"
"Just tell me if you remember me."
Stellar sat up to look into his red eyes. "You do seem a bit familiar." That tingling sensation again. "Weird."
Again, he felt it too. "Well, I remember you. We watched the sunset together a few days ago. My name is . . ."
"Shinn. Your name is Shinn."
"That's right. Shinn Asuka. I'm glad you remembered. You said you hoped you would."
Stellar needed a moment to let that soak in. She also took in her surroundings. "I'm a prisoner, aren't I?"
"Temporarily, yes. You wounded an acquaintance of mine."
"You're ZAFT." She retreated a bit from his touch.
"Yes. Sorry. We raided the research facility and I took you away. I thought I was rescuing you."
"A prince rescuing a damsel in distress?"
"Yeah. Sounds kind of silly when you put it like that."
"And I fought back."
Shinn nodded. "You were ordered to kill us."
"I don't remember any of that."
"Yeah, about that . . ." Shinn took out a data pad and handed it to her. "It's a good thing your sitting down."
After reading it through twice she tossed the pad back to him. "Brainwashing. Drug therapy. Am I supposed to believe this?"
"If you want. When we met you said you were a patient with a very bad memory."
Slowly it started to sink in. "I am a pilot too. It could make sense, but how do I know this isn't all a trick?"
"You don't." Shinn stood up. "But I thought you might like some company so I locked myself in here with you. Consider it an act of good faith on my part."
"That was kind of dumb, don't you think?"
"Yes. Especially considering how you beat the hell out of me a few hours ago." Shinn rubbed his stomach just below the breast bone.
"Sorry." She placed a hand over his. "What will happen to me now?"
"I'm not sure. I don't think very far ahead," he apologized. "Look, if things start to get out of hand I'll try to sneak you off. Okay?"
"I don't know why, but I believe you Shinn."
"I'll look after you, if you'll let me."
Stellar nodded. "So what do we do now that we're locked in?"
"I guess we just sit here and talk."
"You really don't think too far ahead do you?"
"Nope. Never have." They laughed together.
Their laughter drew the attention of a passing couple. "What kind of prisoner laughs from behind bars?"
It was Kira and Lacus.
"Hi, Kira." Shinn didn't greet him as gruffly as he normally would have.
"How are you feeling, Miss Loussier?" asked Lacus.
"I'm fine, I think."
"That's good," Kira responded. "I thought I over did it there."
"What do you mean?" Stellar cocked her head to the side.
"I had to hit you pretty hard. I apologize." Kira bowed slightly. "Shinn said he had a friend in that place and we thought it best to get you out before the fireworks started. He didn't want you to get hurt. Unfortunately, you kind of laid a hurting on us before I knocked you out and we brought you aboard."
"I must admit, you people are not what I expected from ZAFT soldiers."
"We're not ZAFT," Lacus responded. "Kira was with the Earth Forces before their invasion of Orb and I am a civilian. Consider us passengers with friends on all sides."
"I see." Actually, Stellar didn't.
Kira tried to explain their actions. "See, my friends and I fought in the Triple Ships Alliance and there were these three maniacs that we encountered. They were all on drugs and fought as well or better than Coordinators. Normally, we would let that pass as just normal idiotic military development. But these are not normal times. The ceasefire is very fragile, and now that the project has entered its second generation we thought it best to delay things a bit in the interests of keeping a temporary balance of power. There are factions on both sides who want the war to start up again. Their efforts would be that much more successful if one side had an advantage to press against those who want peace. We'll do anything to avoid more blood shed.."
Stellar was still a bit dubious. "And attacking that facility was supposed to help matters? Wouldn't you just be stirring up more trouble?"
"Possibly. It was a calculated risk, and not one that was made lightly." Kira was never convinced of the wisdom of this mission.
"What will become of me? I would like an answer."
Lacus answered, "I suppose you will be held for observation for a short while. Perhaps later you will be released into Shinn's custody. Or just released and returned to the Earth Forces if you wish. I'm not really sure," she admitted.
"I doubt it will be anything to worry over. You're Shinn's responsibility. He'll look after you." Kira and Lacus were on their way again, leaving Shinn and Stellar locked in their cell. They thought they might like a little privacy.
"Your friends seem nice," Stellar admitted.
"They're not really my friends. I've only known them a short while. And don't tell them I said so, but yes they are quite nice." Shinn sat back down beside her.
"May I?"
"What?"
She gave him a kiss on the cheek, turning his pale cheeks bright red.
"Um, thanks."
"I suppose you did save my life. After placing it in extreme danger."
"Sorry," Shinn shook his head. "I don't know what they did to you, but you were really out of it. Like a wild animal."
"Does it still hurt?" She placed her hand on his stomach again.
"If it means you'll keep your hand there, then yes. It hurts very much." That drew a giggle. "It's good to hear you laugh so much." After a few moments he continued. "You know, I waited for you."
"Hmm?"
"When we met, you said you came to the seaside often. I waited for you every day."
"Okay, Shinn. You don't have to lay it on so thick. I'm not going anywhere."
"Ha! That's what you said back then."
"Sorry, but I don't remember."
"It's okay. You're here with me now, and that's all that matters."
"Right." Stellar gave him another kiss on the cheek before resting her head on his shoulder.
"If being a captive is like this, perhaps I should have gotten captured a long time ago."
Four
"What do you mean it's fake?" Yzak was a little upset. Okay, more than a little.
"I've seen enough misinformation to know it when I come across it. This is a very good example. They should teach this as a case in the academy." Asuka handed him another data pad to prove her point.
"So all the data was junk?" asked Dearka. "What a waste of time."
"Not quite. We still have one of their specimens," Yzak scratched his head in thought. "Perhaps she will be enough." He began out of the captain's quarters with Asuka and Dearka not far behind.
"Are you going to talk to her?"
"No, Dearka. I'm going to ask for her cooperation."
"Think she'll help?" asked Asuka.
Yzak answered, "It doesn't matter."
They rounded the corner to come across Shinn and Stellar in the brig together.
"Shinn, what are you doing in there?" Before Shinn could answer Yzak changed his mind. "Never mind. I don't want to know."
Stellar asked Shinn, "I assume this is your commanding officer?"
Shinn nodded.
"Pleasure to meet you, sir." Stellar arose to shake the offered hand.
"Let's get right to the point. I don't want to keep you as a prisoner."
"That is agreeable," Stellar admitted.
"The data we recovered is useless, so we would like to gather a little information on what was going on through you."
"I don't think I'll be of any great help. I can't remember much of anything."
"That's not important. All we want you to do is run through a few tests, then we'll let you go."
Stellar cocked an eye. "What's the catch?"
"You can't go back to fight for the Earth Forces. You can either stay in the PLANT occupied territories or Orb. I recommend Orb. That will allow you the most free travel."
"I don't know . . ."
"Well, you're being released whether you like it or not." Yzak opened the cell door. "I assume you'd like to be her guard, Shinn?"
"Sir." Shinn stood and gave a salute. Oddly, he was almost respectful.
"Miss Loussier, you will be under Shinn's supervision until you make your final decision." Turning to go, Yzak added "Unfortunately, we cannot allow you to return to the Atlantic Federation. After seeing what they were doing to you, I find it hard to believe that you'd actually want to go back."
"Assuming, of course, that I believe a word of it." Stellar wasn't convinced in the least. This could all be some elaborate setup. It was clear that this was all an effort to make her feel better disposed toward her captors. Perhaps it really was a trap.
"That is at your discretion, of course." Yzak placed a hand on Shinn's shoulder. "Show her around and see to it that she's comfortable."
"Yes sir."
Yzak and company left Shinn and Stellar alone.
"You don't trust them, do you."
"No, not really." Stellar looped her arm through his. "But that doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other's company for the time being."
"How very true," Shinn matched her smile.
Chapter 22
"You'll be leaving Carpenteria soon. I've already scheduled a flight for you all." Yzak signaled Asuka to distribute their boarding passes. It was a civilian passenger flight, though they would be closely escorted while over international waters.
"Thanks, Yzak." Dearka shook his hand. "If you ever need us, you know where to look."
"Don't forget you're expected back home in the near future. I'll see you then." Yzak knew that Dearka was so excited about seeing Mir again that he had completely forgotten his duty as a reinstated soldier and prospective Council candidate.
"Yeah. We'll see each other then."
Luna had asked special permission to see Athrun to Orb, which was surprisingly granted. All the members of the Joule Team would be given extended shore leave, which included its temporary members Luna, Shinn and Meyrin. After all preliminary tests proved their suspicions, Stellar was also given permission to accompany Shinn to Onogoro. They had all they needed from her anyway; the type of drugs and mental conditioning they were using.
Their trip to Onogoro wasn't expressly for shore leave, however. They were to report to Morgenroete in a few days for further orders.
"Does Lady Cagalli know to expect us?" asked Kira.
"Yes. You will likely be met by someone at the airport, though I wouldn't expect her to come in person." Turning to Athrun, Yzak continued "From our brief talk this morning, I gathered that things are not well in Orb. Take every precaution."
Yzak had really begun mellowing out. Not only was he half way kind to his friends, he also showed a little bit of concern. In everyone's best interests, they all decided to pay it no mind.
"I'll be careful," Athrun offered a hand. Yzak accepted. It had only been two days since his injury and Athrun was feeling somewhat better. A part of him wanted Luna to come, but another very much wanted her to stay behind. Seeing him and Cagalli together would only break her heart. Possibly his too. He hadn't had time to sort out his emotions. All he felt was an intense desire to be with Cagalli.
Luna insisted on coming, however. Meyrin came on her sister's behalf, hoping that this would all turn out for the best.
Kira, Lacus, and Dearka were all apprehensive. This turn of events did not bode well for their friendships. It would be hard to forgive Athrun if he blatantly cheated right in front of Cagalli.
Shinn and Stellar were oblivious to these things. Both were beginning to let their guards down with each other, becoming close friends. She still enjoyed watching the sunset, and he still enjoyed watching her.
The flight was an uneventful one. Kira and Lacus discussed their wedding plans. They wanted a small and private ceremony at Rev. Malchio's home in the Marshall Islands. They also intended to help him care for the dozen or so war orphans in his care. Hopefully, they could live out the rest of their lives in peace there. Of course, they would always have a home with Cagalli in Orb if they so chose.
Athrun and Luna spoke a great deal about some of the things he had seen and done during the war. Luna was enthralled by his harrowing tales of the fights he had with his best friend. Athrun was careful to steer clear of many of the details of his relationship with Cagalli, of course. He didn't want to rub her face in it. One thing he did express was his desire to show Luna some of the sights in Onogoro.
Dearka had a nice quiet flight beside Meyrin. She was very outgoing, though thankfully not all over Athrun the way her sister was. Dearka often wondered if the older sister had called dibs on Athrun or something, as he was clearly desired by both. Maybe they just had similar tastes in men. The appearance of the sisters was even a little similar, but that was only natural. Both had hair the color of a merlot wine, with Luna's a couple shades darker. While Luna's hair was cropped short, Meyrin's was longer and often pulled into a double ponytail or some other elaborate style.
One detail that did arise in conversation between Dearka and Meyrin was their sincerest wishes that Athrun and Luna behave themselves. To tell the truth, Dearka was terrified that something happen to upset Cagalli. She was a good person and didn't deserve to have this happen to her. Dearka also didn't know what Miriallia's reaction would be, as she was also friends with Cagalli. The last thing he needed was for Mir to go postal on him for something Athrun did.
Shinn and Stellar chatted about any number of things. Mostly their talk concerned their feelings about war and the necessity of their service.
"Why did you enlist with ZAFT?" she asked.
"Honestly, it was because of the Atlantic Federation's invasion of Orb. My parents and sister were killed in the attack. I'm not with Orb because I don't agree with the Athha ideals of peaceful neutrality since it didn't work for my family. They died anyway. The only outlet for my aggression was ZAFT."
Stellar was naturally sympathetic, but his distaste for his homeland seemed a bit much. "Would the outcome have been different had Orb chosen a side?"
"What do you mean?"
"If Orb had sided with the PLANTs, they would have been invaded by the Atlantic Federation anyway. And if Orb had sided with the Atlantic Federation, vice versa."
"Perhaps." Shinn didn't want to get into a philosophical debate over his motives, so it was time to redirect the conversation. "Why do you serve with the Earth Forces?"
"I honestly don't know." Stellar began wringing her hands in her lap. "They tell me to pilot. They tell me to fight. I must do what I am told or I will be punished. I think the reason I can't remember much of my past is because it's part of the punishment. I don't remember any pain, but then I don't remember much of anything at all."
Shinn put an arm around her, letting Stellar rest her head on his shoulder.
"They tell me I'll get my memories back if I'm a good girl, but I never seem to be good enough."
Shinn wiped away a tear running down her cheek. "Do you want to go back to them? You may never get your memories. If that report was right, you may never have had a past."
"I don't know." Stellar really didn't. She was so confused. About this situation, about herself, about Shinn; about everything really.
"You're welcome to stay with me, if that's what you want to do. I think my home is still standing."
"Will it be alright if I give it a try? I can't make any promises."
Shinn lifted her chin to look into her eyes. "You're thinking about going back, aren't you?"
"I don't know what I'm thinking." Could he be right? Isn't it my duty to escape?
"If you run away, there's a chance we'll meet as enemies one day. I wouldn't like that."
"Neither would I, Shinn. Neither would I." The mere thought of it brought a great anxiety within her. Even if it was the only way to learn who she really was, would it be important enough to her to have to face Shinn on the battlefield some day?
"Then let's not think about it any more. You're here with me now and that's all that matters, right?"
"Right." She resumed her comfortable position with her head on his shoulder. "Shinn? I hope I can remember these days with you for as long as I live."
"We can make a lifetime worth of memories."
Stellar doubted that. Her life had been a hard one. She couldn't imagine ever getting that lucky. And deep down, she just knew she would end up serving with the Atlantic Federation once again.
Two
Their flight arrived midmorning. Kisaka and a few other military personnel met them at the airport, just as Yzak had predicted. Two nondescript cars were on hand to take them to the Athha palace where Cagalli was waiting.
"Athrun!" In her usual style, Cagalli ran through the halls showing her excitement over the arrival of a loved one. She had done it when the Archangel returned with Kira aboard. And just like that time, she tackled the unfortunate target of her worry. "Athrun!"
Out of habit, he positioned himself to cushion her fall. The plush rug underneath him didn't soften the blow either. Athrun cracked his head on the floor hard and Cagalli's weight, as light as that may be, caused a little bleeding from between his stitches. Despite the pain, he held on to Cagalli as tight as he could.
"Athrun," Cagalli cried, burying her face in his shirt. "I've missed you so much."
"Please be a little more careful. He was wounded pretty badly." Luna didn't dare try to separate them, but she felt it necessary to warn Cagalli of the damage she was doing.
"I'm so sorry." Cagalli quickly arose to see blood seeping through his thin white polo t-shirt. "Oh my. Athrun, I'm so sorry." Tears were streaming down her face.
"It's alright, Cagalli. I'll be fine." Athrun was helped to his feet by both Cagalli and Luna. "If it's alright with you, could I go lay down a while? I'm very tired."
"Sure, Athrun. Let's get you to your room." Cagalli helped Athrun away, leaving everyone else in the foyer.
"Hi." Through all the commotion, Dearka didn't even notice Miriallia sneaking up behind him. "Cagalli told me you were coming and invited me over. I hope that's alright."
"Are you kidding?" Dearka placed his hands under her armpits and lifted a giggling Mir into the air. "It's better than alright. It's perfect!" Letting her down, he wrapped her in a tight embrace. "Did you miss me?"
"Not a bit," she lied. Her smile gave it away.
"Sorry it took so long to get back."
"Just don't do it again." Mir's eyes began to water.
"You got it." Dearka sealed the promise with a tender kiss.
Everyone else tried hard not to notice the display. Kira and Lacus went off to their old rooms to find everything just as it was. Luna and Meyrin sat in a drawing room near the palace entrance, out of the way. Shinn and Stellar went for a brief walk through the grounds, admiring the luscious plant life that grew in Onogoro. Springtime was beautiful almost everywhere, but even more so in the pacific islands.
Athrun and Cagalli took advantage of these moments of solitude to have some quiet time. "Yzak said something was wrong."
Cagalli sat by him on his bed, squeezing his hand just as Luna had done. "Yes. We've had no luck in proving Yuna was directly involved in the assassination attempts. His supporters in the Senate and military are working overtime to get him released and the Seiran authority reinstated."
"And that means they'll renew pressure for your arranged marriage and an alliance with the Atlantic Federation." Athrun blinked away a tear.
Cagalli wasn't sure if it was from pain or sadness, but she had the privilege of wiping the droplet from off his cheek. "I'm so very glad you came back to me, my knight."
"Sorry I had to break your ten feet rule."
"Kira and the others were all safe and sound?"
"Yes. I kept my promise to look after them."
Cagalli kissed him. "Please don't leave me again. Even if I order you to."
Instead of answering, Athrun pulled her close. She lay with him, her head on the left side of his chest.
Cagalli placed a hand over his wound. It was still bleeding a little and it showed. "Is it bad?"
"Yes." When she tried to remove it Athrun gently placed his hand over hers, keeping it in place.
"How bad?"
"I almost didn't make it." His answer brought tears to her eyes, wetting his white polo shirt.
"Are you going to tell me about it or am I going to have to beat it out of you?"
"We raided the research facility according to plan. Kira, Shinn, and I went off to look for a friend of Shinn's who was playing the lab rat for the Atlantic Federation. That would be the blond girl you saw with him. She's in his custody."
"I didn't notice."
"Guess not." Athrun kissed the top of her head before continuing. "She had just finished a brainwashing and drugging session and was ordered to kill all intruders. It was her that tried to fillet me. Kira knocked her out and now she's sort of a prisoner."
"And you were dumb enough to bring her here?" Cagalli rose up to give him the angriest look she could muster. He had seen plenty worse from her.
"Sorry. She's almost harmless now."
"Almost?"
"Shinn seems to have a good handle on her." Athrun gently repositioned her head on his chest. "She can be quite tame with the drugs out of her system."
"Tell me about your other friends."
"The other two are the Hawke sisters; Lunamaria and Meyrin. Luna is the older one, with the shorter hair. She was the one that saved my life. I would have bled to death if she hadn't been there."
"I'll have to thank her later."
"I am so very tired." Athrun was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. "You have work to do, don't you?"
"Yes. Do you want me to leave?"
"No. Stay as long as you want, but I don't think I'll be good company until after a few hours of sleep."
"I'll wait. I planned ahead anyway. All the important stuff has already taken care of. I was hoping to have the day off with you."
"Sorry I can't be better entertainment for you." Athrun yawned.
"It's alright. I'll be right here when you wake up."
As Athrun slept, Cagalli gingerly removed his garments to put him into some loose pajamas. She got a good look at his bandages, realizing for the first time how close she had been to losing him forever. Cagalli joined him under the covers, watching his contented sleep. He didn't stir for hours.
True to her word, Cagalli was there when he awoke. It was now early afternoon. "I love you," she said. Unable to resist, she began kissing him. Running her fingers through his hair, staring into those emerald eyes she loved so dearly, she expressed her love and relief at his return the best way she knew how. Being young and foolish, that meant physical intimacy. Had they been older and wiser in matters of the heart, perhaps she would have realized that just her very presence was enough. And perhaps she would have known that emotional intimacy was what the two of them really needed.
She was very careful, both because of their inexperience and because of his injuries.
In the pillow talk that followed, Cagalli asked a very important question. "We need to think about setting a date." Not only was this important to her personally, but it may also relieve a little of the political pressure. She couldn't very well go through with a marriage to Yuna if she was already married to Athrun.
"I guess so." Athrun didn't want to think about it, so he just threw out a date that seemed far away. "How about late summer."
"How about early summer." Cagalli claimed one of his hands and began kissing it. "Some of my favorite flowers will still be in bloom then."
"Alright." Athrun didn't want to argue. He also didn't want to relay his doubts to her by giving noncommittal answers.
Cagalli stopped playing with his hand, holding it tightly to her bare chest. "Tell me what's wrong."
"What do you mean?"
"Yzak was acting funny, and now I'm getting a weird vibe from you." Cagalli rolled over to hang above him. Her palms rested on the bed, one on each side of his torso. Her knees supported their share of her weight on either side of Athrun's waist. Uncovered and unashamed, she floated above him, letting him see all of her for the first time. "What's wrong with me that I'm not good enough?" She let him have a good long look at her body. He appeared to like what he saw, so something else was bothering him. "You're having second thoughts, aren't you?"
"Sorry." Athrun looked away, avoiding her penetrating gaze. "I love you very much, Cagalli. And I never want to see you get hurt."
"And this doesn't hurt?" she yelled. "Tell me what's going on, Athrun Zala!"
He looked back to see her crying. He was crying too. "I'm sorry. I just need some time. Don't you think we're rushing?"
"Maybe so," Cagalli sobbed. "But damn you, Zala. I cried my heart out every night while you were away. And so help me God, if you don't want to be with me you better get the hell out of Orb before I order you shot!" She tried to go.
Athrun caught her by the wrists, keeping her from escaping. She slipped, causing one of her elbows to strike his wound with the full force of her weight.
Athrun's scream was controlled; the thick walls prevented anyone from hearing. The only other people in the palace were likely a good distance away.
"Don't go," he begged, gasping for breath.
"I'm so sorry, Athrun." Cagalli ran to get something from his private bath to help stop the renewed bleeding.
"Don't be sorry. I deserve it," Athrun took her hands to stop her from treating him. "I deserve all your anger."
Cagalli looked into his eyes and then she knew. "There's another. Someone else."
"She is kind and sincere," Athrun admitted. "She loves me, but I . . . I told her we should just be friends."
Cagalli shook with fear and rage. "Damn you, Zala. What did you do?"
"Nothing happened."
"But you thought about it, didn't you?"
Athrun nodded.
"You're a total bastard, you know that?" Cagalli wrenched her wrists free and resumed treating him.
Athrun nodded again. "No matter what I do, nothing will ever make up for this."
"No. I don't suppose it will." Cagalli got dressed and left. Resuming her duties, she refused to see him for the rest of the day.
Three
"How long have you known about this?"
Kira and Lacus were waiting for Cagalli in her private study. They had a feeling this was going to happen sooner rather than later.
Kira answered his sister's question with one of his own. "He told you? I'm not surprised."
"Answer my question, Kira." Cagalli didn't shed any more tears. She was too pissed to cry.
"Since before leaving Carpenteria. The Hawke sisters developed a crush on him rather quickly, but the older one ended up spending the most time with him. As far as I know, Athrun never returned any of her affection. However, Luna hasn't left his side since he was injured."
"He likes her. I know he does." Cagalli took a deep breath. "Oh God, why did this have to happen?" She slumped forward on her desk, covering her head.
"Perhaps you should just consider this a test of your relationship." Lacus was trying to look on the bright side, as always. "When you two come through this, your relationship will be just that much stronger."
"That doesn't help. What if he ends up with her?" Cagalli lifted her head to dismiss them. "Just leave me alone for a while. I have work to do." As they got to the door Cagalli apologized. "I'll see you two for dinner tonight, okay?"
Kira answered, "Sure Cagalli." It was only a couple of hours away.
This wouldn't be so bad if I didn't love him so much, she thought to herself. What am I going to do now?
She didn't have time to worry about this. She really did have a lot of work to do.
After being at it for an hour or so, a gentle knock came at the door. "Come in."
It was Luna. "How is he?" she asked sheepishly.
"Have a seat," Cagalli motioned to a plush chair across from her desk.
"Okay," Luna complied. She had little choice in the matter.
"I'm not going to beat around the bush. I know there's something between you and Athrun."
"My apologies, Lady Cagalli." Luna lowered her head. "I will not get in the way of your relationship. Athrun and I agreed to remain friends."
"You won't be happy with that. I'm not sure that he would either."
"What are you saying?"
"Athrun and I had a fight about it." Cagalli's steel gaze penetrated a frightened Luna straight to the core. "I don't care to see him at the moment. You'll find him in his room if you want to check on him."
"I know he's confused right now, but all he could think about was coming home to you. Isn't that something you should be thankful for?"
Cagalli brushed the comment aside. "Whatever."
Hearing Cagalli's uncaring dismissal, Luna jumped up and smacked Cagalli hard. Maybe a little too hard. "If you don't do something you're going to lose him. Is that what you want?"
"No," she whispered.
"You're right. I do care for him a lot, but he told me that he loves you. Make him yours or I will make him mine. Got it?" Luna stormed out to find Athrun.
Luna figured it had to be nearby, so she began knocking on every single door until she heard a weak, "Don't come in." It was Athrun.
Luna cracked the door so she could hear him better. "Why not?"
"I'm not dressed."
"Then get dressed."
"I'm afraid I can't."
"Dear me," Luna opened the door anyway. "You opened the wound again, didn't you?"
"Yeah. I hurt myself again," he lied. He didn't want to tell her that Cagalli's elbow was the culprit. Then Luna would know he was butt naked with Cagalli. "Please don't." All he had was a sheet covering him. A circle of blood radiated out a foot from where the sheet covered his right side. The bleeding had only stopped recently.
"Please let me help you. That thing's never going to heal if you don't take it easy."
"I would rather you didn't."
Luna sat by his side after covering him with a comforter. "You had a fight with Cagalli. I just talked with her. She was pretty upset about it."
"I am too."
"You want to talk about it?"
"What's there to say? I proposed, now I'm having doubts. Anything else you want to know?"
"Plenty. Do you love her? Really love her?"
"She's very important to me."
"Yes or no, Athrun."
"Yes."
"Do you have feelings for me?" Luna's eyes began to water.
Athrun gently caressed her cheek with one of his hands. "I don't know. I honestly don't know." His hand caught a tear as it was shed. "Don't cry. Please. I've made too many beautiful women cry today."
Luna giggled. "At least you find me attractive."
"Who wouldn't?" Suddenly it occurred to Athrun that this inquisition can go both ways. "How do you feel about me?"
"I think I fell for you at first sight." Luna placed a hand over his, keeping it from escaping her cheek. "And my feelings for you are quite strong. I've never felt this way about anything."
"I'm sorry, Luna. I wish things could be different."
"We can't go by our wants and wishes, Athrun. All we can do is make the best of what's given to us." She began kissing his hand.
"Can I ask a favor of you?"
"Anything."
"I am very hungry and I don't think Cagalli's planning on bringing dinner."
"Yeah. She's still pissed," Luna laughed. "I may have made matters worse by smacking her."
"You didn't." Athrun closed his eyes, banging the back of his head against headboard.
"She was being dumb. I told her that if she didn't make you hers, then I would gobble you up." Though she continued laughing, Luna was really fighting back tears. "How about I go make you some sandwiches." She arose from the bed so he wouldn't see her cry.
"That would be great, thanks."
Cagalli was walking by in time to see Luna wiping away her own tears outside Athrun's door. As Luna closed it, Cagalli asked "Already making your move?"
"No. Not yet." Luna composed herself to face down her rival. Matching her lightning gaze, she stated "He's hungry, so I thought I'd make him some sandwiches. You two missed out on lunch, going straight for desert. Am I right?"
"So we did. Envious?"
"I'll be honest. I'd kill to be that lucky." Luna turned to go.
Cagalli caught her by the wrist. "You don't know what he likes, do you? Mind if I help?"
"Not at all. I'd hate to bring him something he didn't like."
Four
Cagalli peeked in on Athrun when Luna brought him his dinner. Luna made enough sandwiches for two. "You two behave yourselves in my home." That was all she had to say before leaving, but her eyes told something more: I'll just have to trust you, Athrun.
Luna had to help Athrun sit up against the headboard. Carefully, gingerly, she took great care to avoid injuring him further.
"I'm still very uncomfortable with this."
"What kind of thanks is that?"
"Sorry. Thank you very much." Athrun blushed, "It's just . . . my situation."
"I doubt it would make you feel any better if I helped you get dressed."
"No." He ate in silence, watching her. Halfway through their stack of food, he said "It's nice that we finally get to have dinner together. I'll try not to run you off this time."
"Ha! This time I'll stay if you ask me to."
They finished in silence, watching each other closely. Each time Luna's eyes strayed below Athrun's chest, he blushed anew.
Luna apologized. "I'm trying not to."
"I know." Athrun suggested, "Perhaps you should leave before we get into trouble."
"Is that what you want?"
Athrun didn't answer.
"I suppose I should go before we do something we'll regret." Luna stood up.
Athrun nodded his agreement. "Thanks. For everything."
"Not a problem," she smiled down at him. "Now how am I supposed to help you lay back down?"
"Oh dear." Athrun hadn't even thought about it. If he went to sleep sitting up, he'd eventually fall to one side and apply unnecessary stress to his injury.
"If I promise not to enjoy it, can I help you?"
"I think that's a promise you'll break."
"So it is." Luna began anyway. She had to lift the sheets a bit to pull on his legs. Though he was careful to limit her view, she did enjoy it quite a bit. "Athrun?"
"Yes?"
"Sleep well. I'll send Cagalli to check on you." Luna kissed his cheek.
"If you'd like, you can check on me as well." There. He had said it.
"I just might do that. Be very careful with that." Luna took a good look at his wound to make sure there was nothing else she could to for it. She gave it a light kiss, taking in his smell. He had showered that morning, putting on a cologne Cagalli favored. Luna enjoyed it too, though the smell of his blood overpowered it by now.
Athrun wiped away a tear before it made its way halfway down Luna's cheek. "I'll be fine. You've taken great care of me. I appreciate everything you've done for me."
"You were right, Athrun."
"About what?"
"This is very hard." She placed her hands on his cheeks.
"Yeah." He placed his on hers as if to say For me too.
"May I?" She slowly brought her face closer to his.
"No you may not." He drew her face ever closer.
Their lips brushed in a fleeting kiss. Her tears joined with his. "Good night, Athrun."
"Same to you."
Chapter 23
"Hey!"
"Hey to you too." Shinn greeted his charge.
"You're supposed to be guarding me. Aren't you scared I'll run off?"
"Not really. But if you did, I'd be pretty upset about it."
"You'd be in big trouble, wouldn't you?"
"Probably so."
They didn't stay the night in the Athha palace. He didn't want to be anywhere near there. Instead, they stayed in Shinn's former home. It was a bit of a mess after a few months with no one occupying it, but everything seemed to be in place. They had bought some groceries and were fending for themselves quite well. Stellar was given his parent's old room. Shinn slept in his own.
Stellar greeted Shinn with breakfast ready.
"Did you expect me to watch you sleep?" he asked.
"Not really," she blushed. "Though you do seem to enjoy staring."
"It would be hard to make out your features in the dark."
They ate breakfast at the kitchen table. Both enjoyed the experience. It was like they had a family again, though Stellar couldn't remember ever really having one.
"What shall we do today, Shinn?"
"Anything you want."
"Anything at all?"
"Sure." Shinn didn't quite know what to make of that look in her eye.
"Good. Then you will take me on a date, Shinn Asuka." She always enjoyed watching him blush. This time was no exception.
"Fine." He smiled despite himself.
"Excellent! I saw a number of nice restaurants and theaters and things on our way here. I'd love to see them all, though not all at once."
Oh boy, thought Shinn. I'm in for it now.
Two
"Enjoy your dinner date?" Cagalli couldn't quite bring herself to be gruff with him. He looked so pitiful.
"Cagalli, please don't be like this." He hadn't slept well. Nobody came to check on him that he knew of. He drifted in and out of consciousness, unsure of where he was most of the time. His chest was sore when he awoke. Apparently he was wracked with a bad cough in the night. There was a new bloody spot where he bled a little, though he was just fine by the time Cagalli came to see him at 9 am. She was sitting in a chair by his bed, eying his wound.
"Sorry to leave you . . . like that," she apologized. "But I suppose your girlfriend enjoyed it. Like a gift she didn't have to unwrap." He was still unable to bend enough to get out of bed, and therefore unable to dress himself.
"Don't." He was getting angry now.
She just had to take it too far. "How many times did she take you in the night? Was she better at it than I?"
Roaring, he swung a heavy down pillow at her head with all his might. He knocked her out of the chair. The effort started the bleeding anew.
She apologized again as she lifted herself off the floor.
"Instead of slowly bleeding me to death, why don't you just call in a firing squad?" Athrun was now just as bitter as she. "It would save a lot of time that way."
"I love you," she whispered.
"And I you." He said it coolly, but with determination. "But right now . . ."
"We hate each other too," Cagalli spoke for them both. "I didn't want it to be like this. I just came to see if you were alright, but . . ."
"I don't hate you. I'm angry with you and confused and in pain." He tried his best to rise and reach out to her, but he was decidedly unsuccessful.
"Stop. You'll only hurt yourself." She came over to lie with him in a tender embrace. "You're a jerk, you know that?"
"You just don't know when to shut up, do you?"
Cagalli began sobbing. "I love you so much I think I'm going crazy."
Athrun kissed the top of her head.
"I know there's something between you two. Please tell me. I have to know," she pleaded.
"I'll be perfectly honest with you. I don't know how I feel about her. And we're both trying hard not to let anything happen."
"How hard are you trying?"
He didn't answer.
"If it's that hard, why don't you just marry her instead of me."
"Maybe because I love you?"
"But you love her too, right?" Cagalli squeezed hard. A little too hard, making him groan in pain.
"I don't think you can feel that way about two people." Can you?
"Make your decision soon, Athrun. Or I'll make it for you." Cagalli tried to rise.
"No you don't. I'm not letting you go." This time it was he that held on too tightly.
"Please," she gasped. "Not so tight."
Athrun let up a little. "Don't go."
"That's my line." Cagalli kissed his bare chest. "So, how many times did you make love to her?" This time she was calm and not bitter.
Her sad tone compelled him to answer truthfully. "None."
"How many times have you wanted to?"
Silence.
"You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."
"I haven't acted on the temptation and I don't intend to."
"She is very beautiful. I can see why you like her."
"You are beautiful, Cagalli."
"Do you think of her when you're with me?" She slid up a little to look into his eyes. He didn't look away. "Were you thinking of her while we were together yesterday?"
"No."
"As you lie here with me now, are you thinking of her? Wishing she was here instead of me?"
"If she were here, she would have the decency to be quiet and let me get some rest." He pulled her in for a forced kiss. "Now just lie here with me, okay? Don't make this any harder than it already is."
She complied, though the smell of blood and sweat was becoming nauseating. "I can't stay long. I have to be somewhere in an hour, but I won't bother you any further. I'll be quiet." She gave him a kiss; willingly this time.
He had a restful sleep this time, unlike during the night.
Three
"Athrun was hurt pretty badly, huh?"
"Yeah. That blond girl almost killed him." Dearka and Miriallia were enjoying coffee at an outdoor café.
"Were you there?"
"No. I stayed behind on the ship to ensure a clean getaway."
"Good." She was pleased to hear that he wasn't in danger.
"I kept my promise. I came back as soon as I could."
"It was still too long, you know." Mir took a long sip, finishing up her latte.
"I have something to tell you." Dearka wasn't quite sure how to put it. "It could be good news or bad."
"Then stop avoiding it and just tell me what it is."
"I've been cleared of the desertion charges and my father is organizing my election campaign in the PLANTs. I may have to leave Orb again in a few weeks."
"That soon?"
"Yeah. Sorry."
Mir cocked her head to the side. "I fail to find the good news in that."
"The only way it could be good news is if you came with me."
Miriallia dropped her cup, cracking the saucer underneath. "I don't know what to say," she admitted.
"Please think about it."
"Can I even go? They don't take a kind view of Naturals in the PLANTs, do they?"
"It won't be that bad. I promise."
"So you'll take care of me, is that it?" Miriallia bristled. "I don't want to be seen as your pet Natural."
"Mir, all I'm saying is that I don't want to be apart from you." Dearka eyed her angry face. Even when upset, she could be so beautiful. "I want to do my part for the PLANTs, but not if it means giving you up. I don't want to go if you're not coming with me."
"I'm sorry," Mir sighed. "I promise to think about it."
"And no, I don't want you to be seen as my pet. I'd rather you be seen as my wife."
"Okay, that's a bit too fast." They had barely begun dating and now talk of marriage?
"So it is." Dearka took a deep breath. "Not today, maybe not even in a few months or a couple of years. But maybe one day. That is my ultimate goal."
"Can we not talk about it?" Mir was a little uncomfortable with the subject.
"Of course."
Four
"I think you should go check on him."
"Meyrin, leave me alone." Luna was flipping through some magazine.
"I bet no one's thought about bringing him food. Again. If you don't go he'll starve."
"Stop it, Meyrin." Luna was flipping faster now.
"Hello. Is Lady Cagalli around?" In their discussion, they didn't notice the gentleman entering the room. He had light brown hair and orange glasses.
"I think she's upstairs with you-know-who. Probably doing you-know-what." Meyrin gave her sister a wink.
"If she's not killing him," Luna muttered.
"Um, okay. Well, I'm here to accompany her. If you see her before I do, tell her I'll be waiting outside." Just after exiting, he ducked his head back inside. "I almost forgot. My name is Sai Argyle. You might need to add that part so she doesn't think some stranger is traipsing around her house."
"Will you be waiting in the gardens out front?" asked Meyrin.
"Yeah, probably so."
"Then let me accompany you," Meyrin got up to follow him. "The company in here's a little unfriendly at the moment."
Once outside, Meyrin had an enjoyable walk with Sai. She found him surprisingly charming.
Luna sighed. Athrun probably was starving up there. She decided to get some sandwiches ready, just in case.
Cagalli walked into the kitchen with the same idea. "Oh. Trying hard, are you?"
"Not yet, no." Luna let Cagalli help her. "Your friend Sai is out front with my sister."
"Thanks. Look," Cagalli put down the butter knife before she had a sudden urge to stick it into someone standing nearby, "no hard feelings, okay?"
"What do you mean?"
"We both have the hots for the same guy. No hard feelings, alright?"
"Yeah. Just take it a little easier on him, okay? I worked damn hard to save his life. I was there to cry over his still body thinking he was going to die." Luna fought back the tears, but with little success. "So stop being so rough on him."
"Sorry." Cagalli took her hand and patted it. "I know I'm too hard on him. I always have been. But I love him very much."
"I hope you don't mind, but I'm going up to see him."
"He's sleeping now."
"He's also starving."
Cagalli checked her watch. She didn't have time to argue the point. "I better get going."
When Luna entered Athrun's room, she sat in the same seat Cagalli had occupied earlier. But unlike last night, she couldn't resist the temptation to peek under the sheets. Cagalli still had not dressed him, much to Luna's satisfaction. Luna shook her head. What a girl. She's no good for him.
As he stirred, Luna quickly arranged everything as it was before. Both to avoid embarrassing him and giving away her impropriety. "Good morning," he whispered with a smile.
"Same to you," she matched his volume.
"I don't suppose you know why we're whispering?"
Bringing her voice back up to normal volume, she answered "Not really. But you started it."
"I'm . . ."
"Starving? I brought sandwiches."
"Thanks."
"You also stink."
"I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to fix that."
"Several, but I doubt you'd agree to most of them." Luna gave him a wink.
"Probably not." Athrun tried to rise.
"Here." Luna helped him as best she could. She actually did quite well in getting Athrun to his feet with a sheet draped around him. "I'll change the sheets while you take your shower."
"Thanks."
She completed her work quickly, leaving herself plenty of time to contemplate. Athrun in the shower. She shook her head. No. Must not think of that.
"Um," he said through the crack. "Could you pass me a robe?"
"Sure." She found one and handed it to him through the door crack. Is he really that shy? Or is it something else?
When he came out, he had reworked his bandages, shaved, and put on that cologne. "Better?"
Luna stood close to him a moment, taking it all in. "Athrun, I . . ."
"Yeah." He got a fresh set of clothes to put on in the bathroom. But he was stopped by a gentle embrace from behind.
"I'm sorry, but just let me hold you like this for a moment." After he let out a sigh, she let go. "Okay. I'm done."
To her amazement, he turned around and kissed her. Thoroughly. Passionately. Backing her up toward the bed.
"We shouldn't." She intended to push off of his chest, but wound up pulling him closer.
"No, we really shouldn't." He held her as tight as he could.
This time, Luna did manage to get it right. She separated from him, but not to get away. Instead, she went to lock the bedroom door. "Is this what you want?" She sat with him on the bed kissing his neck, pushing the robe back to let it slump off his shoulders.
"I don't know what I want," he answered honestly. He sat on the bed, thinking of Cagalli. Am I really going to betray her?
"I can make you happy."
"I know." He hung his head, "But I don't feel comfortable with this."
"Yeah." Luna sat beside him, giving him a gentle hug. "You're thinking of her, and perhaps you really should be with her. You love her very much." As I love you very much.
"I do. She needs me and I'm going to marry her."
But I need you too. "I thought so." Luna sighed, "It's alright. Get dressed. Let's go for a short walk in the gardens after we eat, okay?"
"Sure."
"Perhaps we will see your friends Lacus and Kira out there. They seem to like walking in the gardens."
"Lacus always was one for flowers."
"Tell me about her."
He spoke through the crack in the bathroom door. It was open just enough for them to see each other's faces through the mirror. "Lacus is very kind, almost to the point of being naive. She always treated friend and foe with equal respect and dignity. And her words are often surprisingly profound. I don't know too many people who could inspire a pacifist rebellion."
"Neither do I."
"Not to mention stealing a top secret mobile suit and support ship. She is one amazing girl."
"Did you ever have feelings for her?"
"We were so young. I suppose we loved each other the best we knew how. But looking back on it, we were never anything more than friends. Cagalli is the first person I fell in love with. She was the one that gave me a reason to live long enough to see the war's end. And she saved me from sacrificing myself at Jachine Diue." It suddenly dawned on him what he was saying. "Sorry, I didn't mean to . . ."
"It's okay, really. Tell me more."
"There's not much more to tell."
"You said she was the first."
"So I did." He finished up by carefully putting on a button up shirt.
"Does that mean . . . never mind."
"Yes. I do have feelings for you. I just don't know what kind of feelings, or what to do about them." He came out of the bathroom and embraced her.
She rested her head on his chest, crying. "Don't say any more. If you do, we may both regret what will happen next."
Chapter 24
Lacus inquired, "How are you feeling this morning?"
"Much better now that Cagalli is through beating me. At least, I hope she's through." Athrun tried to make a little joke of it. It was about an hour before lunch. He and Luna were enjoying a slow walk through the flowers in the watchful company of Kira and Lacus.
Athrun was glad they were there to keep an eye on him, especially after what about happened earlier.
"You seem to be well cared for. I assume Cagalli had little to do with that?" Kira was silently boiling with rage. If Lacus hadn't had a firm grip on his hand, Kira would have firmly planted a few knuckles into his best friend.
"Well between the tackle, the elbow to the ribcage, and leaving me to starve the answer is no; Cagalli didn't have much to do with me. I assume she told you about our fight."
"You would be correct," Lacus answered.
Luna was becoming very uncomfortable, but if she left then Athrun might not have been able to make it back to the house. And she wanted to make sure Kira didn't kill him.
"Please do not be upset, Luna." Lacus gave her a kind smile. "This is a difficult situation that must not be avoided. To do so risks friendships as well as romances."
"I understand," Luna nodded.
"If we could get back on topic," Kira began, "what exactly are you going to do?"
Athrun answered weakly, "I intend to marry Cagalli, if she still wants to."
"Are you going to keep your girlfriend around?" Kira stopped walking. The others followed suit.
Athrun turned to get a good look at his friend. Kira had changed during the war, but in a subtle way. It was rarely obvious. This was one of those times. He was now more resolute, more determined. A person who could take a commanding presence. Perhaps Lacus had rubbed of on him. Athrun answered, "Luna is not my girlfriend."
Kira turned the question on another, hoping for a real answer. "What will you do, Luna?"
"Please be honest," requested Lacus. "It'll only make things harder if it stays bottled up."
"I don't know what I'll do," Luna answered.
Kira began hammering away. "Will you go back to ZAFT? Will you stay here hoping to be Athrun's girlfriend on the side? What will you do?"
Luna began to wobble, no longer able to support Athrun or herself.
"Kira, I think you've gone too far." It was now Athrun's turn to get angry.
"No, Athrun. I don't think I've gone far enough." Kira continued, "If you can't make up your mind, you will only hurt them both. You must choose where your heart lies. A man cannot serve two masters. He will end up loving one and hating the other."
"I have already chosen Cagalli."
With that, Luna sank to her knees on the brick pathway. She wept uncontrollably. Lacus helped Athrun sit on a nearby bench before going to her side.
"I wish I could tell you that everything will be okay." Lacus hugged the distraught girl.
"I can't go on," Luna managed to see Athrun over Lacus's shoulder. Their eyes locked. "I just want to die."
"Luna . . ." Athrun whispered.
"Going to change your mind now?" asked Kira. "I'm sure Cagalli would feel the same way when you told her you'd rather be with Luna."
"Kira, stop this now," Lacus pleaded. "You've done enough."
"Yes, Lacus. Let's go." Kira took his love by the hand, leading her away.
After a few moments Kira began to calm down a little. Lacus thought it the perfect time to ask, "So does that mean that I am your master?"
"Indeed it does. Any guy who thinks he's in charge doesn't know the first thing about women."
Lacus beamed. "Very good. Then I have a request for you."
"What is it? I'll do anything you ask."
"Try not to have any more confrontations today." Lacus stood on the tips of her toes to give him a kiss. An early reward for the task she had just given him.
"I'll do my best."
"Athrun will have a difficult time ahead." Lacus shook her head. "I believe he cares deeply for them both, but I fear he will choose the one who he thinks needs him the most."
"You mean Cagalli. Orb needs her, and she needs Athrun. Could that be what's tipping the scales in her favor?"
"Possibly. It wouldn't be fair to anyone if he made his decision on that basis. He will always harbor feelings for the other, and it will eat him up inside."
Two
"Don't cry." Athrun slumped beside Luna, holding her close.
"How can I not cry?"
"Do you want to stay here? With me?" He took her face in his hands, lifting it up so they would be nose to nose.
"Yes, though it will break my heart every minute of every day."
"Come on. Let's get back." Athrun arose, lifting Luna with him. He supported her, for a change.
"Thank you, Athrun."
"I do not deserve your thanks. I'm a horrible person."
"Don't say that."
"It's true." He walked with his arm around her waist. "Doing this to you and Cagalli. I don't see how either of you could forgive me, let alone continue to care for me."
"Athrun, don't say things like that." Luna stopped, taking his cheeks into her hands. She drew him close. "Don't even think it. This is not your fault. Feelings cannot be controlled or tamed. To believe otherwise is foolish." Luna kissed him in front of the Athha estate. In front of Meyrin, who saw it from a parlor window. In front of Kira and Lacus, who were returning to the house for lunch. Even in front of Dearka and Miriallia, who were returning from their date. The only one not there to see it was Cagalli. Luna whispered, "I will stay by your side until you tell me to leave."
"I don't know if I'll ever be able to do that."
"Because you don't want to, is that it?" Luna resumed walking, with her arm around Athrun's waist. "You don't have to answer. I can see it in your eyes."
"Are you hungry?"
"No, but you are. Let's go have some lunch with the others."
All seven of them had an enjoyable meal together, as no one brought up the display of affection in front of the house.
Three
After lunch, Dearka and Miriallia sat with Meyrin in the parlor discussing events.
"Doesn't Lunamaria know that she's just causing trouble?" asked Mir.
"Yes. She's trying hard to do the friend thing, but it's obvious she's head over heels for Athrun." Meyrin didn't look up from her magazine. She expected this conversation sooner or later.
"To think we were worried sick about you two," Mir gave Dearka a stern look.
"Hey, don't look at me! I didn't do anything!" Dearka was about to panic. He didn't know what to say or do about this.
"He's right. Dearka didn't do anything inappropriate while he was away, though no one really gave him the opportunity." Meyrin winked at Mir, which didn't help Mir's disposition any. "Athrun really didn't do anything either. At least, not that I know of."
"Well, I suppose I should be grateful that my boyfriend can't attract as many over eager girls as Athrun." Mir rolled her eyes.
"Hey!" Dearka didn't like this picking match, especially since he was caught in the middle.
"Take it easy, Dearka. I find you quite attractive." Mir gave him a quick peck on the cheek.
"I apologize for any inconvenience my sister is causing you. Unfortunately, I can't say that I blame her either."
"I guess not," Mir sighed. "We can't help how we feel, can we?"
"No. Thanks for understanding," Meyrin smiled. It was kind, and not joking like normal.
Miriallia appreciated it, and therefore returned the smile. Perhaps she could get to like this girl. "I understand, but that still doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Believe me, Miriallia. None of us likes this situation." Meyrin put down the magazine. It was boring her anyway. "So, tell me about your friend Sai."
Mir blinked in rapid succession. "Where did that come from?"
"He and I went for a brief walk through the gardens this morning. I found him . . . interesting."
"He's available," Mir suggested. At least she could enjoy working on this match-up. "You want me to put in a good word for you?"
"Miriallia the match maker." Dearka took a deep breath.
"The best way to stay out of trouble it to stay quiet," Mir reminded him.
"Yes ma'am."
"That's better. So what do you want to know about Sai?"
"Let's start with the beginning," Meyrin suggested.
"He and I were students on Heliopolis. The only love interest I've known him to have was a red-head named Fllay. What ever you do, don't mention her to him. She kind of went for Kira. It was a strain on all our friendships, but in the end Sai and Kira remained friends. Fllay was killed at Jachine Diue. You know what? It might just be better if we didn't mention her ever again." Mir shook her head, thinking of all that trouble Fllay had caused.
"Roger that." Meyrin smiled.
"He's pretty good at programming and software engineering. I believe he's doing some work for Morgenroete in that regard, but I'm not sure."
"Is he a Coordinator?"
"No. Is that a problem?"
"Not at all." Meyrin dropped the smile. "If I ever want to have kids, it'll probably have to be with a Natural. I was passed up for the Selective Marriage Program."
"Huh?"
Dearka jumped in, glad to finally be able to contribute. "Birth rates are pretty low among third generation Coordinators, so the PLANTs instituted marriage regulations to pair couples with the highest chances of success."
"And just who are you paired with?" Mir gave a cold look to Dearka. "Got a fiancée somewhere that I don't know about?"
"No, I don't. My father was probably saving me for a political marriage of some kind, but nothing ever came of it. Thankfully." Dearka took her hand and squeezed gently. He whispered, "Please take it easy. I'm on your side, remember?"
Meyrin just laughed. "He's right, you know. Important figures don't often get placed in the program."
"It's good to know my boyfriend is someone important." Mir lifted her nose in the air, pretending to be snobbish. "Ah, the life of a Councilman's son's girlfriend is the life for me."
"Ha! I'm beginning to like you, Miriallia."
"My friends call me Mir."
"Well, Mir. Tell me more about Sai."
"With pleasure."
Dearka got comfortable in his seat. This girl talk was going to bore him to sleep soon. It was clear that his participation wasn't welcome anyway.
Four
Luna sat by his side again, watching him doze off. Athrun tried to stay awake. He tried to have a conversation with her, but it was too much.
In his sleep, she removed his button-up shirt to allow more airflow over the bandages. When he coughed, she pulled up the covers and placed a gentle hand on his chest.
"This is very hard," she whispered.
"I'm sure it is."
Luna spun around to see Cagalli in the doorway. "Sorry. I was just leaving." Lune arose to go.
"Stay a moment." Cagalli sat on the bed, opposite Luna on the other side of Athrun.
They sat in silence a while.
"Thank you for taking care of him," Cagalli admitted. "I . . ."
"You love him very much. He feels the same about you."
"What does he feel for you, though? That's what worries me."
"He hasn't told me. I asked him not to." Luna met Cagalli's gaze. It wasn't harsh as before. Just sad. "I don't want us to do or say something we'll regret. He wants to be with you."
"Do you wish to stay?"
"Yes. And no. Sometimes I think I want to stay by his side forever, even if he was with you. Just to be near him, though I could never have him." Luna began to cry. "And sometimes I think it would be better if I left and tried to do something else with my life. But I wouldn't know where to start." Luna wiped away her tears.
"Kira told me what you said in the garden. I feel the same," Cagalli admitted. "About not wanting to live without him."
"What are we going to do about it, then?"
"I think it's up to him as much as it is to us." Cagalli arose to leave.
"Don't leave him," Luna rose to be the first to leave. "If you don't stay with him, then I will." She was issuing a challenge, dropping the gauntlet. Daring Cagalli to go, to leave them alone together.
Cagalli recognized the threat. "I have things to do, unfortunately, so I can't stop you two from doing whatever." Cagalli came a little closer to drop a gauntlet of her own. "Just member that this is my house and he is my fiancée. And tonight he'll be sleeping with me."
"He would like that, I'm sure." Luna lowered her gaze as she resumed her post. She was a vigilant nurse; ever watchful of Athrun's needs.
"Have you two . . ?" Cagalli asked from the doorway.
"No. I have kissed him a couple of times. Out of weakness or selfishness, I'm not sure. But that's all. Nothing more."
Cagalli respected her honestly. "Thank you for telling me." She left Luna and Athrun be for now. It was mid afternoon, and there were plenty of things left to do before the day was done. Tonight, though. Tonight would be hers.
Luna stroked Athrun's blue-purple hair, watching him sleep contentedly. She was a little tired too.
About half an hour later, Luna received quite a jolt. She had fallen asleep leaning over Athrun. Her head was now on his chest and he was stroking her hair!
Sitting up, Luna asked "How do you feel?"
"Better." Athrun took her hand into his. "You're tired too. Want to lay down?"
"No," she lied. She did it anyway, lying on the spot where Cagalli had sat earlier. Luna curled up on Athrun's left side, draping an arm over him to rest a hand over his wound.
"It should heal quickly if I can avoid doing any more damage to it."
"Cagalli came to check on you." Luna felt him stiffen.
"What did she do this time?"
"Nothing. She said she would be busy for the afternoon. I told her that if she didn't stay with you, then I would." Luna kissed his bare chest. "She said she couldn't stop us from doing whatever we wanted to do." Her tears ran down his left side. "And she's going to be sleeping with you tonight."
Athrun put his arms around her, letting her sob. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. You belong to her. The best I can hope for is to borrow you once in a while." She slid up to steal a kiss.
This one time, he didn't return it.
Her weeping became more bitter. More unrestrained.
"Luna, I . . ." He held her tight as she tried to get up and leave.
She didn't fight him. That was probably how Cagalli had hurt him yesterday. "I love you, Athrun."
"I love you too." He let her cry for a few more moments before he began kissing her.
"Athrun, wait." Luna gently pushed off his chest. "I . . ."
"You're right. Let's just rest like this."
"Okay." She resumed her curled up position at his side. "I'm sorry."
"For what? Keeping us from . . . you know? Don't worry about it."
"No. I peeked this morning." She looked up to see him turn a peculiar shade of red. "Sorry."
"Now you have me at a distinct disadvantage."
"Maybe one day." Luna kissed his chest one last time before they fell asleep.
This was how Cagalli found them at dinner time.
End Part Five
A/N
All us AxC fans are going to be really upset, but just remember what Kira Lacus said. All we can do is hope for the best.
I hope you're all still enjoying this.
End A/N