This is where our parody began to take on a life of its own. Oh my…
Disclaimer still applies!
Scene 3 The Lost Scene
Captain:(wearing a pirate hat and talking to a stuffed parrot) Oh, that pirate party was great last night! I can't wait for the costume party tonight. Right, Captain Scurvy?
1st Mate:Captain, do you want the morning report?
Captain:(as Capt. Scurvy) Fire away! Rawk!
1st Mate:(kind of scared) Okay, I've received word that Snake Eyes Johnson is onboard.
Captain:Public Enemy Number One? Holy crap!
1st Mate:And some other gangster is onboard, but nobody really cares about him.
Captain:What's his name?
Moon:Moonface Martin!
1st Mate:Yeah, that's it. Oh, hello Bishop!
Moon:(still wearing the Bishop's hat with a pinstripe suit and a Tommy gun under his arm) So this Snake-Eyes, what're you going to do to him when you catch him?
1st Mate:Arrest him, of course!
Captain:And hang him upside down by his toes!
1st Mate:And pelt him with rotten fruit!
Captain:And tomatoes!
1st Mate:And lash him with a wet noodle!
Captain:And hit him with heavy textbooks!
1st Mate:And dunk him headfirst in grape Kool-Aid!
Capt. Scurvy:Rawk! What's Kool-Aid?
Moon:Kool-Aid! I don't know what that is, but it sounds like Hell! And I should know! (points emphatically to the Bish's hat. Captain and 1st Mate nod emphatically) (aside) I've got to stop the boat before these crazies dunk me in (shudders) Kool-Aid!
1st Mate:Who are you talking to?
Moon:For crying out loud, man! This is an aside! You can't hear me!
1st Mate:Oh, sorry.
Moon:Hey, you know what'd be great? If you guys left the room so I could change the course of the ship.
Captain:Yeah! That's a great idea! Come on, mate!
1st Mate:Umm, sir?
Captain:(glares at the 1st Mate) March, mister! Captain Scurvy says so! (They exit. Moon rubs his hands together greedily)
Moon: And now to change the direction of the ship. Let's see, (points in random directions) West, far west, north-south, and, um…um…ah, who cares. Let's just turn it a little this way…(turns the captain's wheel. A lot. ) There! That oughta do it! (walks away, whistling)