Scene 6
Billy:(enters, still wearing the sailor hat) Wow, this disguise is great! No one will recognize me now!
Reno:Hey, Billy. What's up?
Billy:D'oh!
Reno:Are you supposed to be a sailor? You're not very believable.
Billy:Well, no one else recognizes me. See?
1st Mate:Where is that gangster guy?
Moon:Billy? Where are you? (looks under his foot. Billy takes off his hat and Moon recognizes him) Hey! There you are!
1st Mate:You! I've got you now! (Billy shrieks and they run in circles again. Quite comical, actually.)
Reno:So, Moon. What's up with Billy?
Moon:How do we know each other? I've never seen you before in my life!
Reno:Just go with it!
Moon:(shrugs) Okay. I accidentally steered the ship to the North Pole and…
Reno:Really? It's not even that cold! (a pile of fake snow falls from the rafters and lands on Reno) Oh, okay. Now, I'm cold. Go on.
Moon:Thank you. So we're all cold and…
Reno:Dammit! All I've got packed is skanky cocktail dresses!
Moon:You wanna shut up? Geez! Okay. Billy is trying to get his girlfriend, Hope, over yonder (Hope, Mrs. H. and Evie enter, all arm in arm and beaming cheesily)
Reno:Who? The old lady?
Moon:Who do you think, moron? Can I finish?
Billy:Yeah, let him talk! I'm getting sick of running!
1st Mate:Ah'm gonna git yew!
Moon:And that guy thinks Billy is Snake Eyes Johnson.
Reno:Billy! You never told me you were an evil, murdering, thieving gansta-man! (attracted to him)
Billy:I'm not! (Reno pouts, disappointed)
Moon:So we need disguises for poor Bobby.
Billy:Billy!
Moon:Whatever.
Mrs. H.:Do you guys, like, need us or can we go?
Hope:Yeah, my feet hurt.
Evie:"My feet hurt!" Priceless! (writes in his notebook. Hope eyes him nervously)
Moon:Hang on; we're almost done.
Reno:C'mon. We'll put him in one of my dresses. (puts Billy's hat back on and 1st Mate stops chasing him. He wanders offstage, perplexed. Reno grabs Billy's hand and drags him offstage, Moon following)
Mrs. H.:At last! Time for the Bertha Matilda Hortense Harcourt Show!
Chorus:(in 80's outfits) Bomont? Where the hell is Bomont?
Hope:Sorry, guys. Wrong show.
Evie:"Bomont"! Oh my, that's smashing! (scribbles furiously in notebook) Today was a great day for my slang collection!
Chorus:(mumble to each other, then shout) Hortense? What the hell kind of name is Hortense?
Mrs. H.:Shut up! I TAP! (lights go out and curtain closes abruptly) Hey!