Dun dikka dikka dikka dun dikka dikka dikka dun dikka dikka dikka!
AAAAAOOOOOOOOO!

"LUCKY! I swear if you don't quit that unconstiuable dribble...!"

"Hey old man, I'm just making music, I'm not slobbering on myself."

"THAT'S yet to be determined! Hello, I'm your host Edward
Quartermaine and welcome back to our third week of the game. If you
missed last week, here's a quick recap. For their physical challenge
all these morons had to do was run across the beach. Naturally, they
all lost. And the first person to be voted out of the game was
Courtney. Let's see what our players are up to today."

TRIBE COUPLEDUPOUS:

"My husband Sonny is very displeased with last week's eviction of his
kid sister. We are taking precautions to make sure this doesn't
happen again."

Skye walked out of the bushes and interjected. "Uhm...She's already
been voted off. It CAN'T happen again."

Carly reached up and smacked Skye across her face. "Shut up hoe!"
She straightened herself back out for the camera. "Anyway, you have
been warned.

Skye ran teary eyed back to her side of the island. "Oooooo! I just
got bitch slapped!"

"Ah, you got the backhand then?" Luke asked.

"No because I got slapped by Carly, duh!"

Jax walked over with a goofy grin and put his hands on her
shoulders. "Wo' ye liek may tu rub yer facen mik it fil ull betta?"

Skye looked up at him, still holding her cheek. "I swear to GOD if I
hear something about a shrimp and a Barbie I am SO kickin' your ass!"

TRIBE MOBBOBKU:

"I can not beLIEVE that Skye woman!" Carly stalked over and punched
a tree, causing it to collapse and drop some coconuts.

Sonny grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her back. "Hey hey!
You're the one that cut into their team's paragraph remember? Damn!
You've got a real anger problem you know that?"

Carly flung her arms to throw his arms off of her. She spun around to
gleer him in the eye. "What's that pot? You're callin' me black?"

"What Elizabeth? Why?"

"Because I just don't love you anymore, Zander. I screwed you
yesterday, I'm ready to move on." She ran over to Lucky. "Oh Lucky,
I'm SO sorry about what I said about you before."

"Oh you mean the whole 'sister fucking fiend' thing?"

"Uh...Yeah. I just want you to know I forgive you. And that I love
you. I want to be with YOU!"

Lucky shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not. I'll show you I live
up to my namesake."

The two ran off somewhere. Just look for the rustling bushes.

THE CHALLENGE:

Edward brought them before the forest. "Okay. Now I know that the
whole running across the sand thing was tricky." He stopped to roll
his eyes. "But we've got to challenge you even harder. This week,"
he motioned behind him. "You must climb a tree. You'll see we've
even put little pegs so you can climb right up. Okay, now go!"

Lucky slugged himself toward the tree. "Damn! And I thought have NO
sex was wearing me out! But son of a bitch!"

Luke was about to climb his tree. But he looked over and saw that
Laura had pulled off her pants and was actually humping one of the
pegs of her tree. He shook his head and laughed. "That's my crazy
wife!" He looked at the camera. "No, really. She really is crazy,
remember? It's not like she used to do this at home. Oh sure there
was that one encounter with the fichus... Uhm, I'm just gonna go get
her offa there."

Skye looked up at her tree. "Okay, screw this." She pulled out a
white grape juice and plopped herself down in the sand.

Carly noticed this and began to get upset again. "Not only is that
lady rude, but she's lazy as hell to boot! AAAAAAAA!" She went
over and punched the nearest tree.

As you can probably guess, that tree was Lucky's. It fell over and
crushed him beneath it.

Luke looked up in shock. "Oh my God! They killed Lucky!" He stood
there and waited. Then looked back at Laura after a few seconds.

"Hold on just a sec... Ooooooo! Oh! Oh yeah! You're a bad
little arbol aren't you? YES you are! Give it to me nature give
it to me! Wooooo! Aaaaaaa!" She slid herself off her date,
then cleared her throat as she walked over to Luke. When she got
there she straightened her blouse before looking up and shaking her
fist in the air. "You bastards! There, now let me find my pants."

THE VOTE:

Skye: Hi, it's me again. Same vote. You know, I thought I loved
the guy but, after spending all this time trapped out here with him,
I realized that he really pisses me off.

Laura: Uhm...yes. I'm voting for myself. Don't tell Luke, but I'm
planning on running away with someone I just met today. His name's
Palmy. He let me name him, isn't that so cute? He is a tree. But
we talked about it and we're willing to look passed our differences.
He's even asked me to marry him! Oh, we're going to be so happy!

Edward came back out with the tallied votes. "Okay, the second
person to be kicked off the island is...Sonny. Please bring your
undoubtedly 'imported coffee' up here." Edward took his torch and
put it out.

Sonny hung his head low. "I coulda been somebody. I coulda been a
contenda. But look at me, I'm just a mook." He slunk out of the
tribal arena.

Edward smiled as he watched the man go. Then turned himself back to
the camera. "A second person gone. How bitchy will Carly get with
no midnight sheet tackle? Tune in next week to our next installment
of Port Charles Survivor to find out."