Scene 8
Evie:Brrr! It's cold. Good thing I'm wearing these extremely sexy purple paisley pajama pants! (try saying that three times fast)
Reno:(bursts in slutty-like) Evelyn! You're a sexy beast and I want to make dirty love to you!
Evie:(excited, like little kid-excited, not horny-excited) "Dirty love"! Smashing, simply fabulous! (writes in his notebook)
Reno:Shut up and kiss me! (rips dress)
Evie:Do I know you? (catches Reno as she jumps on him)
Moon:Hey! Hands off the lady!
Evie:(tosses Reno to Moon) You can have her, Vicar! This is too PG-13 for me!
Moon:Oh no, please! I'm with Bonnie! (thinks, adds) Sometimes.
Reno:Evie, please! I've got hot pants for you!
Evie:Hot pants? I don't understand.
Reno:Just tell me you have hot pants for me, Evie, or I won't be complete!
Evie:Erm, uh…that is…what is "hot pants", Vicar?
Moon:God, you're an idiot!
Evie:Did you just take the Lord's name in vain?
Reno:(aside to Moon) Here, put this in his tea. I'll take care of him. (slips him a vial) Evie! I love you! Drink some tea!
Evie:I'm really not thirsty…
Moon:Drink it!
1st Mate:What's going on in here? (gasps loudly and points in an over-exaggerated manner at Reno's torn dress, the vial in Moon's hand, and Evie's purple pants)
Evie:What can I do for you, chap?
1st Mate:Wow, this is awkward…
Bonnie:(enters with a sailor and a bottle of booze) Moonie, guess who I made friends with…Moonie! What're you doing?
1st Mate:Moonie? You're the Bishop, aren't you?
Moon:Can you see the hat? Of course I am! And…now, I've got to…uh, go bless something! Bye! (sprints offstage with Bonnie trailing behind)
1st Mate:(to the sailor) You there! Go swab something! (they exit)
Evie:So…Reno.
Reno:So…Evelyn. It's been a blast.
Evie:Yeah! We should do it again sometime.
Reno:Okay. Uh, bye. (exits)
Evie:(stares at his pants) Perhaps these pants are too sexy? What awesome power have I discovered? Oooh… (blackout)