Edward was fumbling something in between his hands.

Dun dikka dikka dikka dun THUNK! dikkaaaahhhuuuuu...!

Edward's coconut had hit Lucky square on the forehead.

It had also ruptured a blood vessel in his brain. Lucky made only a
slight groan as he slumped to the ground. Then he was silent for the
rest of the episode.

Luke gasped. "Oh my God, They killed Lucky!"

Laura instantly stood up. "You bastards!"

Edward just shook his head. "That is the God damnedest family I've
ever seen." He straightened himself out and looked back to the
camera. "Hello everyone. I'm your host Edward Quartermaine and
welcome back to our fifth week of the game. Yeah yeah, I know the
math doesn't work out. Who cares, shut up so I can tell you the
recap. Brainless Jax won the physical challenge by sucking all the
milk out of a coconut. Although Skye was complaining...well when
doesn't she? Moving on. And uberwhore Elizabeth Webber was sent
home. Now let's check in on our contestants.

TRIBE MOBBOBKU:

Zander was sitting by the fire shaking. His eyes were wild as he
held his crotch tightly and shook back and forth. "E...Elizabeth,
gone? No more sex every third episode? I...I can't go on like
this."

Jason reached over to give Zander the back of his hand.

Zander rubbed his cheek. "You know, for a man a few words you sure
are a jackass."

TRIBE COUPLEDUPOUS:

"Now look honey, all I'm sayin' is that the bark's gotta be pretty
rough."

Laura hugged Palmy tightly. "I don't care Luke! We were meant to
be together!"

"But, you're rubbin' yourself raw. You haven't noticed the whole
peeing blood thing?"

"I'm just having my period." She leaned in close to Luke. "We're
trying to have a baby."

"Oh but darlin', you can't do that to a kid. With his long neck and
your wide hips, what's it gonna look like? But that's beside the
point. You've got to step outside the situation and look at the
bigger picture."

Laura put her chin to her hand and though. "You're right. Why have
the tree..." Her head perked up as she saw it. "When I could have
the whole ocean! Oh thank you Luke!" She ran off down the beach
and into the water. She sat there like a buoy leaning back and
forth, humping the water.

Luke's eyebrow went up. "What the hell is she gonna hit out there?"

THE CHALLENGE:

Edward once again brought them before the trees. "Okay, you know the
drill, the challenge gets harder every week. Well, we are rethinking
that a bit. We're starting to feel sorry for you ingrates. Anyway,
you'll notice that there are ropes hanging from the trees. All
you've got to do is climb to the top. Go!"

Most of the group ran forward. However Laura kind of swaggered over
to her tree. "Hey. How have you been? Me? Oh I'm good. Have you
found someone else? Oh really? Still single? Wow, hard to believe
with a hunk of burnin' tree love like you." She rubbed her fingers
over its trunk. "Oh yeah, you like that don't you you dirty
bastard? Uh hu! Oh God take me, take me now!" Words were left
behind as old lovers reunited.

Also left behind was Skye. She had decided to screw it in a
different way. She pulled out a bottle of grape juice and plopped
herself down in the sand.

Jason was having a good time. He was swinging from his rope and
singing at the top of his lungs. "George, George, George of the
jungle strong as he can be. George, George, George of the jungle
watch out for that" WUMP! He wasn't paying attention to where
he was swinging and had flattened himself up against a random
trunk. "Well son of a bitch, shoulda seen that coming." He fell off
backward onto the ground below.

Zander looked at him and snickered. "George of the jungle? Wish
Elizabeth could see how stupid and juvenile you're acting like right
now." He snickered once more before swinging from rope to rope and
letting out a fierce Tazan yelp.

Carly sat triumphantly on the top of her tree. But a slight gust of
wind came and took her away.

THE VOTE:

Zander: I'm V...v...voting for myself cause... ME SO HORNY!
Sucky sucky five dolla' sucky sucky five dolla'? Please! Anyone?
I've got five dolla'! Sucky sucky?

Skye: Hey. Believe it or not I actually changed my vote this week.
I'm voting for that little Zander creep. I don't really know what
that sucky sucky thing is. But I was insulted that he only offered
me five dollars for it! The NERVE of some people!

Edward came out with the tallied votes. "The fourth person to be
kicked off the island is...Jason."

Zander flew out of his seat. "NO! He goey back to Port Charles. He
get boing boing from super slut. I voted for MYSELF for Christ's
sake! Come on people!"

Jason brought up his torch and it was extinguished. He smiled back
at Zander. "Sucky sucky no dolla' bitch!" he said before rushing out
of the tribal area.

Zander made a few incoherent noises before falling to the ground and
curling up into himself.

"Well, that's all the time we have for today. Join us next time when
we'll try to get Zander out of this little ball he's in. Bring your
crowbar for the next installment of Port Charles Survivor. Good
night everyone."