I really should have kept this as a one-shot, the first chapter is always angstiest. From here on out, be warned, angst might be mild. But if you still want to read, I wuvs you very much

Esther'n'Era etc. don't own YGO, Ryou, Bakura, or any manga at all

Video

"Another recording Bakura. Aren't you happy? I'm joking, I'm joking. Actually, if you knew, you'd be trying to kill me." Ryou smiled gently before wiping it off. "You know what? I can't even control that smile anymore. Every single time I see someone, that smile just automatically pops up and they believe it." He scoffed lightly. "Shows how much they know."

"So, I guess it's time you get filled in on how horrible life is being to me at the moment. Remember Ushio and Tanaka? Yeah, the two buffoons? Yep, they got out of the mental hospital and they're back. Along with the primitive instinct to bully." Ryou shook his head, his white mane falling into his face. "They somehow got it into their brains that the other side of me is gone so now they can beat me up again."

"But that's getting ahead of myself. Here's how my morning starts off. I wake up, and sometimes, sometimes I can hear your voice yelling something like, 'WAKE UP YOU STUPID HIKARI! YOU DON'T WANT THE BRATS COMING OVER HERE!' or wailing, 'Wake up Ryou! I'm HUUUUUUUUNGRY!' or your fists banging on the door if I didn't wake up in the same room as you. But, you're never actually there. Doesn't that suck?"

"Anyway, so I wake up, take a shower, make breakfast, blah, blah, blah. Actually, I always make too much for myself. I keep thinking, two bowls of this, two cups of that, and then I realize it's just me, and I can't back out. I really love cooking, and you really loved eating."

"So I grab my backpack and start the lonely walk to school. Yes, it's very lonely because there isn't a slightly psychotic and crazy dark spirit in my head." He laughed quietly, looking almost at peace, even if his muddy eyes countered that. "And there's the fact that I've asked most of them just to leave me alone. I can't be around other people for long, especially the ones that are involved with the Millennium Items. And of course, the Yugi-tachi don't particularly care anymore."

"But that's not their fault. It's not as if I want to interact with them. Honestly, the first couple of days after you were gone, I thought that I was going to bite them if they came close to me, or at the very least claw their eyes out. I was in a very violent mood. Sound like anyone else we know…?"

"Anyway, Ms. Yuki is particularly annoying when I want some rest and quiet especially since she's the first period teacher. You remember her? Thin, narrow, shallow woman with slanted eyes and screechy voice? Yeah, her, it's like nails scratching down the chalkboard. And of course I know what that sounds like because of somebody…"

"So I try to catch up on some sleep, doesn't work. At least she leaves me alone if I actually do my homework. Blah blah blah. The PE teacher still sucks like crap but you've scared the living daylights out of him, so…yeah. He pretty much leaves me alone but when he does bother me, I just have to put on your famous death glare, aka my inherited death glare, and he just backs off really fast."

"There's nothing really much more to say." Ryou said thoughtfully. "Mostly because nothing's changed. You're gone and I don't know how to get you back, I send you insanely odd messages, knowing you're probably never going to get it. Damn it! What's wrong with me?" Ryou's head fell into his hands.

"You know how I told you that you're lucky if you haven't cried? You're lucky if you haven't had a loss of something. I lost Mom, I lost Amane, I lost my Dad in a way, I've lost my security, my self pride, I've lost hope, and I've lost you. Actually, you're the one that I miss the most. Seriously."

"This sense of loss, like you've lost something and you can never get it back, is beyond pain. It's not even painful enough for you to stop breathing. No. This loss makes me act naturally, it's not like I've even changed. Except I'm so numb. And tired. And lonely. I don't understand the Fates anymore. Bakura, do me a favor, if you hear this, ask the Fates exactly why they enjoy toying with my life. I really don't feel like a toy. It kinda hurts if my hair gets pulled and if someone pokes my stomach, so I'm not exactly one of those plush dolls that go Mommy, or I'm hungry if someone punches my gut."

Ryou's shoulders began to shake lightly. It was hard to tell whether it was from hysterics or sobbing. When he looked up, his face was dry. "It's hard. It's just so, fucking hard. I try, I really do. I truly want to wake up and enjoy life once again. But how do I do that without you? Wishing on stars don't work, or making guesses. I especially don't understand how Yami could do this to me, especially since half his soul has disappeared once before."

"Yami. Oh yes." His tone suddenly changed. Venomous and biting, angry. "He is the only one that won't leave me alone. I'm really considering the option of hitting him so he goes away." His expression was dark.

"See, he's always telling me, he knows exactly how I feel cause he lost his own other half before, but that I'll get over it, because this situation is different. You were evil, and deserved this." He grimaced. "That I would become stronger. He was right about that. I became stronger in my own way. If I can't have my dark, then I'll become darker. It's the way the world goes."

"And it's like he's trying to make sure that I don't have a lonely moment. Look at this, LOOK AT THIS!" He held up an answering machine. "There's like thirty nine messages on this thing! Today! I swear on whichever god is up there, if I hadn't changed the number on my cell, it would say something like, Message Overload. That bastard just doesn't leave me alone!" Ryou shook his head. "It's quite annoying you know."

The telephone rang and Ryou swore lightly. "Sorry Kura, but I've gotta go. I'll send you another message tomorrow."