Scene 2
Cole:Hello, folks! It's me, Cole Porter! After watching this show so far, I've decided to take matters into my own hands. I'd like to apologize for the show so far and I promise from now on, it'll be good. I'll be directing.
Reno:Wait, what do you mean you'll be directing? We're doing great! We don't need your help!
(Captain and SEJ run out in full Star Wars regalia. They whip out light sabers, fight for a while, then are chased off by the chorus in heavy-metal-big-hair-band outfits. Cole gives Reno a look)
Reno:Okay, never mind. I see what you mean. (exits. Cole Porter wheels his chair offstage and Reno enters with Evie this time)
Evie:Ah, what a chipper night!
Reno:You know what it's perfect for?
Evie:No, what?
Reno:(seductively) Misbehaving!
"Let's Misbehave"
Evie:Oh, I don't know, Reno! I'm engaged to…to…what was her name again?
Reno:See? Who cares? Time to sing! Birds and bears have love affairs; they're animals; they're animals and so are we, so let's misbehave!
Evie:You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel! (they kiss and run offstage)
Cole:You know what? This show is a lost cause. I'm going to go and write a good play. I'll call it, "Kiss Me, Kate" and if these fools try to perform it, I'll sue them! Good luck, y'all! (exit)
Mrs. H.:Hey! It's not copyright infringement unless you can prove it in court! "Everything shows is so unique and different! I dare you to sue us! You crazy composer! Come back and fight me like a man! I'll sic my lawyers on you! I'll…
Whitney:(fall-down drunk) My dear…hic…lady! Could you kindly direct me to the bar?
Mrs. H.:(attracted to him) But of course! (mouths "Oh, yeah!" to the audience and drags Whitney off, as he has passed out cold)