Edward looked both ways, up and down, backwards and forwards. All
while holding a goofy grin on his
face. "Hi...Edward...he...Lucky...no noise... hehehe!...!" A
small line of drool slipped out of his grin and dropped to the ground
at his feet.

Two men in white coats ran up the beach. They took Edward by each
arm and started leading him away. "Come on mister Quartermaine,
we'll get you some rest.

Edward let out a deep, crazed chuckle. "M'kay. Lead the way Zorro."

Carly stood up and did the only thing she knew how to do in these
situations. Bitch. "Okay, just what is going on here? I am NOT
getting stuck out on this island any longer than I have to! This
game better get its ass in gear and get a goin'!"

"Sit down Carly, we've taken care of that." Monica demanded.

"Yes. After watching the way Lucky was being a pain in the ass, we
had a feeling father may end up needing some mental assistance over
his joy of finally getting rid of the boy. We've been prepared to
step in for weeks now." Alan disclosed.

"That's why Alan and I prepared a backup host."

As soon as A.J. was able to see through his drunken haze and
recognize the figure walking up the beach, he shot upright. "Ned?
What th' fuk'r you doon here?"

"Please Junior. Don't tell me your brain can't figure out how this
is working. Let it come up for air every once in a while would you?
You know I always save grandfather's ass. Always. Why should this
be any different?"

A.J. shrugged. "Got no idea. Just gonna puke now." Which he bent
over the log and did.

"And, as Monica and I are prone to, we are going to leave Ned
completely helpless. Buh bye!"

The two waved and backed up down the beach where they jumped into a
helicopter and took off quickly.

Ned's eyebrow went up. "Yep, that was pretty much right on time."
He smiled and faced the camera. "Hello everyone. I'm your guest
host Ned Quartermaine welcoming you back to the next week of the
game. If you missed last week then all you missed was Lucky getting
killed off for good. Don't worry, he didn't come back for a big
flashy finish or anything, he just didn't show back up and this group
of backstabbers extinguished his torch so he couldn't come back."

"Yeah, you all killed Lucky... You bastards!" Laura shook her
head. "Oh GOD why can't I stop doing that?" She burst into tears
and took off down the beach.

Ned smiled. "Great. Great start. A complete disaster. Well,
everything else about this has went as normal so why shouldn't that?
Anyway, let's check in with our groups now."

TRIBE COUPLEDUPOUS:

"Shun ov a bich!"

"Wire you talkin' like that Luke?"

"Oh, sorry. just thought it might help us conversate if I talked yer
language."

"Oh. Well shun ov a bich! Nope. My brain's so drowned it ain't
catchin' nothin'! Wi you wan in to chat?"

"Well, I know you hate your brother and my wife hates me.
So...well...why am I talking to you? I don't really like you.

"Hay buddy, join th' club. They meet at, like, sevin clock on
Thrrrsday nights. Chipsh 'n dip'r provided."

TRIBE MOBBOBKU:

Zander twiddled his thumbs as he stared like a dumbass at
Carly. "Sssso. We're all alone now for sure."

Carly rolled her eyes. "Yeah. That's so great for me. The only
female stuck with Atilla the Horndog."

"Oh oh hey, I'm over that!"

Carly's eyebrow slid up. "No more humpin' the ground or whatever's
in your path?"

"Nope. I don't think there's a hole that big." Zander pointed down
at his oversized crotch. "This thing just won't stop growing!"

Carly's brow slid even further. "Hey...maybe we can work something
out after all."

THE CHALLENGE:

Ned led the group to the council area. "Okay everyone. The
producers thought, since your host went crazy and you were under
enough stress dealing with that, that they'd call off the immunity
challenge again this week."

Carly rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, we're TOTALLY torn up about it."

"That's their idea. Also I think it's because they're out of ideas
for games." Ned whispered to them.

"No way!" Zander interjected. "The writer...er, I mean producers
are far too talented for that. Their heads have to be filled with
ideas!" Zander smiled around, mumbling "Please don't write me out
this week." over and over under his breath.

"Anyway, no one is safe in tonight's vote. So let's get to it."

THE VOTE:

Laura: Yep. My husband's going down.

Luke: Well, I hate to do this to my darlin', but, if I don't get her
off this island I think she might kill me in my sleep.

Ned came back out with the tallied votes. "Okay, the eighth person
to be kicked off the island is...Luke. Please bring me your torch."

"What? Me?" He looked back at his wife who greeted him with an evil
smile. Luke then looked around at everyone else. "Thank you! Now
I've got time to go home and disappear! See y'all later. Oh, no
wait, no I won't! Haha!" Luke threw his torch at Ned and ran off
into the woods laughing and hollering all the way.

"Okay well..." Ned was interrupted by a cell phone call. "Hello?
Really? Well okay, I'll let them know." He hung the phone up and
stuck it in his pocket. "Okay everyone, there's a bad storm coming
this way so we're gonna have to bunker down for about a month. They
say there's a cave on the other side of the island. We're gonna
leave right now." Ned turned back to the camera. "Well, join us in
about mid January for the next edition of Port Charles Survivor.
Unless of course, you just want this storm to carry off the rest of
the castaways. I would be all for that. There's got to come a point
where I screw things up and grandfather hates me forever for it, so
maybe this'll be it. I'll either see you or I won't. Bye."