Dear Diary
I feel like punching a wall! We just got back from a publicity party about an hour ago. That was horrible enough as it was. All these strange people I'd never met before kept coming up to us, shaking our hands and it seemed they were more interested in me than anybody else because I'm the new one. And all these boys I have never seen before kept checking me out and asking me out. Our bodyguards had to ask them to leave. Debbie, our other manager, told us we had to get more photos taken, of course, so that wasn't fun. What else is new? All we ever do is get pictures taken and do stupid interviews. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I got myself into this business. I love it when we can sing and dance and do what I thought it was all about, but that's not what it is. That's a big part of it, but I just wish we had a day to ourselves. I wish I had a day to myself, and get away from these girls.
After the publicity party was what annoyed me. Mel C asked me if she could talk to me so we were sitting away from the rest of the group on the bus, and she asked me what was wrong. I lied of course and told her I was tired, but she kept persisting. I thought I was doing a good job covering up but the way she looked at me; it was like she didn't believe me. Fine, I don't care if she does or not. She kept going on about how she understands if I'm stressed out because it's hard to get used to this kind of thing. She says she wants to help me, but I don't need to be helped. I'm fine dealing with things on my own. I've always dealt with things on my own. It's not like my mother or father were ever there for me. I basically raised myself. I've learned the only person I can trust is myself and the only person who can take care of me, is me. I don't need the girls to help me, because I'm just fine on my own.
Emma's been giving me strange looks too, and I'm noticing the girls are all talking quietly and looking over in my direction a lot. So now they're blabbing about me, gossiping, probably saying nasty things. I hate this. I feel like I stepped in on territory where I'm not wanted. They probably only hired me because they needed something new. The girls probably wish it were just the four of them, or even maybe that Geri would come back. Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm no Geri, and it's not the same to them. Fine, I'll just do my job and not worry about them.
I can deal with things just fine on my own.
I have to go now, Clifford is taking us to some interview. I just want to sleep.
See ya
Ally Leopold