Ned
slowly poked his head out of the cave mouth. He took in a deep
breath
of the calm sea air. He then walked back into the
cave.
"Okay everyone. it looks pretty safe out there."
"Gee
Ned, yuh shurr? Can't hear any wind r rain. Was that yer
frst
clue?"
Ned shrugged. "Actually yes."
A.J. fidgeted. "Son ov a bich." he mumbled quickly.
"And
just where the hell have you been getting your alcohol this
past
month and a half? Your stash was probably blown away."
A.J.
held out a bottle in front of him. "Sco-pe. Takin' it
slow.
'Sides, it's sorta in my body like blubr is ina walrs."
"Ah,
okay that one I get." Ned stepped out of the cave and
flipped
out
his phone. "Hey, the storms finally gone. What do you want to
do
with them? Okay, yeah, I think I can handle that. Alright."
He
flipped
it closed and walked back inside. "Okay everyone, it's safe
to
get out of here so come into the light." He made a quick
review
of
the people there. "Hey where's Carly?"
"Didn't
you see her?" Zander asked. "She followed you out when
you
went
to make your call."
"Oh,
okay. I thought that was a stick that had fallen out of the
tree.
Guess that explains why it started bitching about random
things.
You know, she wasn't all that huge before and now she hasn't
eaten
for weeks. If she was emaciated before what does that make her
now?
She does still scientifically exist right?"
Ned
led them outside. "Okay, lets see. Welcome back fans to our
next
week of this little game. This storm took a bit longer than
we
thought.
But here we are again. Let's see... Last time Luke went
home
happily. Bet he's really good and gone by now." He turned
his
attention
to the players. "Your game is simple today. Who do you
hate
the most?"
"Carly." came unyieldingly out of three mouths in unison.
"Ex-CUSE me? What?"
"Cm
on Carly babes. Donchu evr think about how you aint got iny
frens
in Port Carlss?"
"Yeah, you are kinda a bitch." Laura added.
"That's for sure." Zander finished.
Carly
scoffed and ran to get her torch. But the wind suddenly
shifted
and blew a bit of fire into her hair, igniting it immediately.
Ned
looked back and forth. "Okay... Uhm... Anybody got a clue
which
one's the torch?"
"I'd
say it's the one that isn't running in circles screaming 'Help
me,
put me out put me out please!' "
"Well
yeah but, what if it's a magical torch Zander? I mean come on,
Carly
saying PLEASE? I just can't buy that."
Zander rubbed his chin. "Hmn? Good point."
Ned
held his snuffer tight in his hand. He took a swing at one of
the
fired things in front of him. He stared down at it. "Well,
it
yelped
on the way down? What do you suppose that means?"
Zander
shrugged. "If it's a magical torch don't you suppose it
could
talk
too?"
"You're
probably right." Ned walked over to the remaining fiery
thing.
He lightly patted it on its head to put it out. "Sorry
about
that
Carly. You alright?"
It stood there in silence.
"Too
traumatic to talk huh? Well, just think you get to go home to
your
loving husband Sonny now. We're getting the hell out of here
before
that magic torch comes to and kicks our asses." Ned
looked
quickly
at the camera. "Well, that's all for this week. We'll try
to
have everything in order by our next showing. Bye."
Ned
and his group fled quickly down the beach. They didn't see the
figure
lift it's head off the ground. "M...mother fuckers." Then
it
groaned
and passed back out.
