Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun!
Wolfwood was quietly sitting on the couch, bored because he was home alone to watch the toddlers. He couldn't really remember where everyone went. He just knew he was alone...and bored. He looked around to make sure no one was looking. He slowly got up and walk into the closet and shut the door behind him. He began patting the wall behind the coats. He smiled as he found a small little knob. He slowly opened the secret door and reached his hand in. He pulled out a small package. He slowly pulled out a little stick. His smile grew even larger. He reached into the secret door again to pull out a small lighter. He put the small stick into his mouth and lit it. He sucked on the stick and exhaled a big cloud of smoke. He sighed a sigh of total pleasure. When suddenly he heard mumbling coming from upstairs. He moaned. He looked down at his cigarette not knowing what to do with it. He couldn't just throw it on the floor. Milly would surly find it. He sighed, took one last puff, and…swallowed it. He gagged. Wolfwood liked cigarettes, but not that much.
He walked up stairs to see who was mumbling. He slowly opened the door to see little Katie sitting up. He smiled and walked over to her crib. Suddenly she turned and looked at him.
"Howdy partner!" She said sounding just like John Wayne.
Wolfwood's eyes widened in horror.
Wolfwood gasped as he quickly sat up from his bed. He looked around and realized it was just a dream. He sighed in relief. But slowly got out of bed, he wanted to make sure. He walked into the babies room. He looked in Katie's crib to find her sound asleep. He sighed and smiled. Suddenly he got an idea. He quietly walked down stair and into the closet. He began to feel the wall behind the coats. Nothing. He frowned and went back up stairs. He quietly got into his bed. Suddenly Milly rolled over and looked at him.
"What were ya doin' partner?" She asked sounding just like John Wayne.
Wolfwood popped up. He looked at Milly. She was sound asleep.
"Damn it! That's the last time I wear nicotine patches while I sleep." He said tearing off one of the many patches on his arm. "Ow! Son of a bitch!" He said a little too loudly. He looked at Milly to make sure he didn't wake her. She just rolled over and mumbled something about pudding.
"Phew." He ripped off another patch. "Ow! Son of a bitch!" He whispered. He continued this until they were all off, then went back to sleep.
"Heehee! Shhhh!" Came little whispers and giggles. A small hand slowly opened the door to Vash and Meryl's room. The pitter patter of twelve little feet made it's way across the room. All of them made their way to the bed. Finally all six of them jumped on the and started screaming happy birthday.
"It's not my birthday!" Screamed Vash.
"We know, we just like cake!" Said Josh very casually.
Vash looked at the clock "It's four in the fu-k-" Before he could finish a pillow came into his face, knocking him down. Meryl had smacked him in the face with a pillow.
"Hey you know I think it's you dad's birthday! Why don't you go bother- er, I mean surprise your dad!" Meryl said in an annoyed tone trying to sound enthusiastic.
"Yeah!" They all shouted and ran to their parent's room.
They ran into Milly and Wolfwood's room scream happy birthday. They all jumped on their bed and began bouncing up and down. Wolfwood and Milly popped up and looked at all of there happy little faces.
"Who told you?" Wolfwood asked in worried tone.
"Auntie Meryl!" Giggled Kimmy.
"How old are you daddy?" Asked Jake.
"Are you a bazillion?" Asked Karri.
Wolfwood looked as if he was going to cry "I'm not that old." He sniffed. He planted his face to the bed and put his pillow over his head.
"Don't cry daddy!" Katie said in a sad voice. "I'd still love you even if you were twenty bazillion years old!" She said hugging Wolfwood, trying to comfort him.
"Yeah!" Agreed the rest as they all hugged him.
"We love you honey!" Milly added as she hugged him as well.
Wolfwood slowly sat up and looked at them all. He had a small smile on his face. He looked as though he was going to cry. "I love you guys too!" He said as he hugged them back.
"So how old are you gonna be dad?" asked Joe.
"Uhhh…Twenty five." Wolfwood said with an unsure smile.
Milly started laughing.
"What! I don't look twenty five to you?" He asked in a somewhat hurt voice.
"Oh come on honey just tell them your real age!" Milly said while wiping a tear from her eye.
Wolfwood looked nervous. "-cough- thirty five -cough-" He coughed hoping they wouldn't hear.
"Huh?" Katie said with a confused look.
He sighed. "I'm…Thirty five…" He said in a shameful tone.
"That's it?" Karri said in a disappointed voice.
"What a rip off." added Jake.
"Do we still get cake?" Josh asked.
The sextuplets are now five. Josh, Jake, and Joe all are identical. All three of them have short black hair, deep blue eyes, and tan skin. But only two of the girls are identical. Karri and Kimmy. They both have long, light, brown hair, bright green eyes, and light colored skin. Katie looks different from all of them. She has long blond hair, bright green eyes, and tan skin. Milly says her blond hair comes from her grandmother, who also had blond hair.
Later
Wolfwood was sitting at the table wearing a little birthday hat with a frown on his face. There was a large cake in front of him with thirty five candles sticking out of it.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR WOLFWOOOOOOOOD! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOU!" Vash shrieked. Everyone stared at him wide eyed not saying anything.
Finally Josh broke the silence by saying "Can we have some cake now?"
"Yeah, if you can pick out ALL the candles." Vash snickered.
"Hey! Your like a hundred years older than me!" Wolfwood hissed.
"Well at least I don't look like I'm a hundred!" Vash said in a sassy tone.
Wolfwood glared at him. "Are you saying I'm old?" He said in a very agitated voice.
"No…I'm just saying you look old!" Vash said with an evil grin on his face.
Wolfwood's face turned bright red. "Oh it's on now!" He yelled as he tackled Vash. I maybe 'old' but at least I can still kick your ass!"
"I just let you think that, ya old fart!"
"What was that Needle Noggin?"
Milly, Meryl, and the children just sat at the table calmly eating cake, ignoring the two. While Vash and Wolfwood continued to fight on the floor.
After a few minutes of fighting and calling each other names Meryl finally said "Will you to stop playing around and have some cake already!"
"Yeah ok." Vash and Wolfwood said very casually as they stood up and sat at the table.
When they were finished with there cake Milly said it was time to open presents.
"Presents? Yes! Woohoo!" Wolfwood said as he hopped up from the table. "Where are they?" He asked excitedly.
"Right here." Milly said pulling out a pile of nicely wrapped boxes.
Wolfwood grinned excitedly. "Oh boy! I love presents!" He said happily. He noticed Vash and the kids giving him awkward looks. "Er-I mean, oh boy…Presents." He said trying to sound sarcastic.
After Wolfwood opened all the presents the children went up stairs to play, Milly and Meryl went into the living room to talk, while Vash and Wolfwood stayed in the kitchen. Suddenly Vash thought of something.
"Hey! I got a great idea!" Said Vash.
"Vash, you never have 'great' ideas. They're all stupid." Wolfwood said leaning back in his chair.
"I have had plenty of great ideas!" Vash said defensively.
"Oh yeah! Remember that time you had the 'great' idea of sticking a firecracker in a jelly doughnut?" Wolfwood said sitting up.
Flash back
You see Vash sitting outside holding a jelly doughnut. He sticks a small fire cracker into the doughnut, all the while smiling. Suddenly Wolfwood walks next to Vash. He lights the fire cracker.
"Run!" Vash said as he ran for cover.
Clueless of what is going on Wolfwood stands there with a blank expression on his face. He then looks down. Right in front of him was a jelly doughnut with a lit fire cracker sticking out of it. But before he could react it exploded all over him. He sneered as he slowly wiped a chunk of doughnut matter off his face.
End Flash back
"Hehe, that was so cool." Vash said with a grin.
"No it wasn't! You know how much my dry cleaning cost?" Wolfwood said slamming his hand on the table. "And do you remember the time you had the 'brilliant' idea to give the cat a bath in the toilet? 'It'd be so much easier' you said!"
Flash back
You see Vash holding Kuroneko over the toilet.
"Ok kitty! Here we go, your gonna take a bath now." He said as he poured some soap into the toilet.
"Neow!"
He threw the cat into the toilet and quickly shut the lid. He then flushed the toilet.
"Neeeeeooooooow!"
Suddenly Wolfwood burst threw the bathroom door with Katie right behind him.
"What the hell was that?"
Vash opened the lid of the toilet and pulled out a very wet and a very angry kitty.
"All clean!" Vash said with a grin.
Wolfwood and Katie's eyes widened with horror. Katie screamed. Suddenly Kuroneko jumped on Vash's face and began clawing. He fell on the floor and began rolling around.
"AHHH! Get it off! Get it off!" He screamed.
End Flash back
"Actually that was pretty funny." Wolfwood said with a grin while leaning back in his chair.
"No it wasn't! That hurt like a bitch on crack!" Vash said holding his face. "Anyways! This time I do have a good idea! I was just going to say it'd be fun to get a piñata."
"A piñata?" Wolfood said with a confused look.
"Yeah, ya know, those big things that are full of candy! Then you hit it with a stick to get the candy out!" Vash said excitedly.
"I know what a piñata is!" Wolfwood said with an annoyed tone.
"Then can we get one!" Vash asked anxiously.
"Where are we gonna find one? I don't think they even sell them in this planet let alone this town." Wolfwood said in a serious voice. "Infact, I've never even seen one in real life. I've only seen 'em in books."
"Hmmm…Oh! I know! Let's fly to earth and get one! They have tons of them!" Vash said happily.
Wolfwood stared at Vash as if he couldn't get any stupider. "Vash…That has to be the stupidest idea ever!" He yelled.
"What's wrong with it!" Vash protested.
"Hmmm, well let's think. First of all Earth is a like a million light years away!" Wolfwood said standing up from the table.
"Nuh-uh! It's only like a hundred light years!" Vash corrected.
"Whatever! And where are we gonna get a ship?" Wolfwood raised his eyebrow.
"Tch! Don't worry about that. I already have one!" Vash said as he leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on the table.
Wolfwood stared at Vash, his expression…blank. "…You have a ship?" He asked calmly.
"Yeah!" Vash said proudly.
"And you never freaking told me!" Wolfwood screamed slamming his fists on the table. In doing so he startled Vash causing him to fall backwards.
"Ow!" Vash said while rubbing his head.
"Let me see it!" Wolfwood said grabbing Vash by the collar of his coat.
"Ew! I didn't know you swung that way Wolfy boy!" Vash said giving Wolfwood an awkward look.
Wolfwood's eye began to twitch. Suddenly he smiled and let go of Vash. He slowly made his hand into a fist. He took a deep breath and…Began pummeling Vash like a punching bag.
"Why are you so stupid?" Wolfwood screamed while he was beating Vash.
"Ahhhhh! Ok! Ok! I'll show you! Ow! Just stop hitting me!" Vash screamed.
"That's better." Wolfwood said as he stood up.
"Here, follow me." Vash said as he stood up. "Damn! That hurt." He said rubbing his face.
Vash led Wolfwood outside. Suddenly Milly stopped them.
"Where are you going honey?" She asked in a concerned tone.
"We're just gonna go to earth to get a piñata." Wolfwood said calmly.
"Ok have fun! And take a sweater!" She called as they walked outside.
Vash and Wolfwood kept walking until finally Vash stopped. He pulled out some car keys and pressed a button. "Beep beep!" came a sound of what sounded like a car. Suddenly ground began to shake.
"What the-?" Wolfwood said trying to keep his balance.
Vash just smiled as the ground began to open up. Wolfwood's mouth dropped. Suddenly a huge ship slowly rose up from where the ground had opened.
"Holy shit!" Wolfwood exclaimed.
"Yeah, I know." Vash said with a grin. "Let's go!" Vash said as he walked towards the ship.
Wolfwood couldn't say anything he just stood there in awe.
"Are ya coming or not!" Vash called from the ship.
Wolfwood snapped out of it and ran into the ship with Vash. Wolfwood had never been, or seen a space ship, for that matter. He just looked around like a kid in a candy store. He was so busy looking around he hadn't even noticed where Vash went. Suddenly he heard a noise. Two big metal doors opened and a man in a Darth Vader suit came out.
"V-Vash?" Wolfwood asked nervously.
"Wolfwood! I am you father," The man said in a deep robotic voice.
"…."
"'s, cousin's, brother's, grandma's, sister's, room-mate!"
"…."
Suddenly the man lifted up the face of the helmet. It was Vash. "Hey Wolfwood it's me!" He said happily.
"….I knew that…So do you know how to fly this thing?" Wolfwood said trying to change the subject.
"Of course I do! Do you think I'm an idiot?" Vash said in a bragging tone.
"…No comment." Wolfwood said looking away. "How long will it take to get to Earth and back?" Wolfwood asked trying to change the subject, again.
"Well, I don't mean to brag but, this baby can fly up to one hundred light years per hour." Vash said rubbing the control panels.
"So, it'll take about two days?"
"Not quite, it only goes that fast at full speed. Normal speed it goes about fifty light years per hour."
"So, it'll take a week?"
"Yes."
"You mean we're gonna be traveling for a week…For a piñata!"
"Yes."
"Ok then! Have fun Vash!" Wolfwood said walking towards the exit.
"Wait! Don't go! It'll be fun! Don't make me go alone!" Vash pleaded. He grabbed on to Wolfwood's leg begging.
"No! I'm not going away for a week just to get a stupid piñata!" He said trying to shake Vash off his leg.
"But you owe me!" Vash wailed.
"What for!"
Vash let go of Wolfwood's leg and stood up. "Remember, I brought you back to life." Vash said with a smirk.
Flash back
You see Vash, Meryl, and a crying Milly standing over a grave. They are all mourning over the death of there beloved friend Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Suddenly Vash gets an idea. He finds a long stick and stands over Wolfwoods grave. He starts hitting the ground with it screaming "Arise! Arise Wolfwood! Arise!". Meryl and Milly are staring at him as if he had gone absolutely insane.
"Don't worry! I've seen it on T.V.!" He says while still hitting the ground.
Suddenly Milly begins sobbing. When suddenly Vash stopped. Milly stopped crying and they all were silent. They heard a very faint knocking. Vash and Milly hurried and started digging. Meryl just sat there and watched them as if they mentally challenged. They stopped digging as soon as they got to the coffin. The knocking was gone. Vash and Milly's face of hope had turned into disappointment. Milly began to cry, again. Suddenly they herd it. "Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock!". Milly stopped crying. Vash leaned against the coffin and knocked. "Knock, knock." Suddenly Wolfwood burst out of the coffin. Vash shrieked. Then they all stood there wide eyed staring at there friend who was thought to be dead. Wolfwood looked at Milly then Vash, then Milly then Vash. This continued for about two minutes until finally Vash asked "A-are you a zombie?"
Wolfwood looked at him and said "I don't know…How did I get here? What happened?"
Suddenly Milly lunged at hugged Wolfwood. "I'm so happy your ok! I've missed you so much!" She sobbed.
Meryl passed out. "You died. But I brought you back to life with my awesome plant powers!" Vash said braggingly.
"How long have I been dead?" Wolfwood asked
"Oh, about three days." Vash said casually.
End Flash back
Vash was still smirking and was suddenly back in his red coat. Wolfwood stood there glaring at Vash.
"Well…Screw you!" Wolfwood finally said as he walked out of the ship.
"Hey! Where are you going?" Vash called.
"To get my-…Suitcase…" Wolfwood said putting his hands into his pockets.
"Hehehe!" Vash chuckled with a smirk.
Wolfwood walked into his room. He grabbed his traveling bag from under his bed. He walked to his closet and opened it. Inside it was full of black and white suits (the suit he usually wears).
"Hmmmm…What should I bring?" He said observing his options. He shrugged his shoulders and just grabbed all of them and stuffed them into his bag. He then noticed his large cross punisher sitting in the back of the closet. It was wrapped in it's usual white cloth with black straps. He smiled and grabbed it. Suddenly Katie popped into his room.
"Where ya goin' daddy?" She asked while observing his luggage.
"I'm just going on a trip…To Earth…For a piñata…" He paused. "Oh God what am I doing?" He said as he realized how stupid this whole idea was.
"Oh oh! Can I come with?" Katie asked excitedly.
Wolfwood sighed. "No it'll be too dangerous. Besides we'll be gone for a week, you'll get home sick."
"No I won't! Please! I wanna come with!" She begged.
"No Katie! And that's final!" Wolfwood said in a stern voice.
Katie frowned. "Ok daddy." She said in a sad voice.
"Ok, now give me a hug." He said with a friendly smile.
Katie sadly hugged her dad.
"I'm gonna go say goodbye to everyone else now. So please don't touch anything." With that said Wolfwood walked out of the room.
Katie sat there and pouted. She really wanted to go with her daddy. Suddenly she had an idea. She looked over at her dad's carrying bag. She looked down at Kuroneko (who had come into the room shortly after Wolfwood left) and smiled.
"We're going on a trip!" She said with a devious smile.
"Neow?"
Wolfwood walked outside. His bag over one shoulder his cross punisher over the other. "Hmmm, my bag feels kinda heavy." Wolfwood said to himself as he boarded the ship. He just shrugged his shoulders and threw his bag into the ship and put his punisher next to it. He sat in the front chair next to Vash.
"Ya ready?" Vash asked with a grin.
Wolfwood sighed. "Yeah."
"Ok then! Let's go!" Vash said pressing a big red button.
Wolfwood could see Milly, Meryl, and the children outside the house waving goodbye. He waved back to them as the ship took off.
The ship was now in space. Wolfwood was in awe of how big space was. But after about twenty minutes it was already boring. He put his feet up on the panels and leaned back in his chair.
"Hmmm…" Wolfwood had a look as if he forgot something.
"What?" Vash asked.
"I noticed that Katie wasn't out side when we left." He said in a concerned tone.
"She was probably in her room pouting." Vash said trying to comfort him.
"Yeah your probably r-" Wolfwood stopped mid sentence. He looked over at his bag. "What was that?"
"What was what?" Vash asked looking over at Wolfwood's bag as well. "I didn't hear anything." He said looking at Wolfwood.
"Hmmm…Maybe I'm hearing things." He said not taking his eyes off his bag. Suddenly he stood up and walked over to his bag.
"What are you doing?" Vash asked watching Wolfwood.
Wolfwood crouched down next to his bag and poked it.
"Hehe!" Came a little voice from inside the bag.
Wolfwood quickly opened the bag to find little Katie and Kuroneko curled up in his bag. Kuroneko hopped out of the bag and began cleaning herself. Katie smiled innocently at him.
"Hi daddy." She said waving.
Wolfwood looked into her bright green eyes. He couldn't say anything or make any expression on his face. He slowly stood up and walked back to his seat not saying anything.
"What was it?" Vash asked.
"Go see for yourself." Wolfwood said looking out the window. His face had no expression. That was never a good sign.
"Uh-oh!" Vash put the ship on autopilot, and walked over to see what was wrong. He saw little Katie sitting next to Kuroneko mimicking the cat by licking her hand and wiping her face.
Katie noticed Vash and stood up. "Uncle Vash!" She said running and giving him a hug. "Is daddy mad at me?" She asked in a sad voice.
Vash looked over at Wolfwood, who was still staring out into space emotionlessly. "Uh, no! Of course not! He's just…Worried! He's afraid you'll get hurt." Vash said with a friendly smile. "Uh, but you might want to stay away from him for awhile…" Vash said looking over at Wolfwood again.
Suddenly Wolfwood got up and walked by. He walked into the next room and shut the door. Suddenly they heard muffled screaming a swearing. Vash covered Katies ears. They watched the closed door. It suddenly opened and Wolfwood walked out not even passing a glance at them. His face still emotionless. He sat back down. Vash and Katie stared at him wide eyed. It was silent for awhile.
"So…Where's Earth?" Asked Wolfwood, finally breaking the silence.
"Uh…Oh! It's uh…Hmm. I think I have a map around here somewhere." Vash said running up to the control seat looking around.
Katie slowly walked up to Wolfwood. She crawled into his lap and snuggled up against him. She looked up at him with those big puppy dog eyes of hers.
"I'm sowy daddy." She said sadly. "I didn't mean to make you angwy." She said as tears began to swell up in her eyes.
Wolfwood looked down at her and sighed. "I'm not angry, I'm just worried. I'm afraid you'll get hurt." He said in a kind voice.
Katie looked over at Vash, who was giving her a look that said "I told you so". She looked back at Wolfwood and smiled.
"Don't worry daddy! I'm a tuff girl! And I have you and uncle Vash to take care of me!" She said confidently.
"Oh my God!" Vash said in disbelief.
"What is it?" Wolfwood asked in a concerned tone.
"I-I-it's…Earth!" Vash said pointing out the window.
"What? We've only been traveling for like thirty minutes!" Wolfwood said looking at the big, blue and green planet. "Are you sure that's Earth?" Wolfwood questioned.
"I'm positive!…Maybe this ship is a lot faster than I thought!" Vash said still in shock of seeing the planet.
"Well do you know how to land this thing?" Wolfwood asked.
"Uh, yeah…" He said as he strapped himself in. "You might want to buckle up. This is going to be a bumpy ride."
Wolfwood buckled up with Katie still on his lap. Katie's eyes widened as they landed. Wolfwood looked nervous. Vash had an insane look on his eyes as they landed. The ship rattled and shook as they entered the planets surface. They landed in a forest and flattened some trees. Vash turned off the ship and unbuckled. He stood up and opened the door.
"Ahh! It's beautiful!" He said inhaling the air.
Katie quickly unbuckled and ran outside next to Vash. Wolfwood sat there in his seat for a while, still a little shaken up from the landing.
"Whoa! What are those!" Katie asked pointing at the trees. She had never seen trees before, or any kind of plant like it.
"Those are trees Katie." Vash said putting on his sunglasses.
"Hello trees! We come in peace!" Katie said trying to be friends with the trees.
Vash chuckled. Suddenly Wolfwood came out with his cross punisher over his shoulder and his sunglasses over his face. He observed his surroundings then slowly walked out. Katie and Vash followed. Katie's eyes were glowing with excitement as she observed everything she saw. They traveled for a few minutes when suddenly Wolfwood stopped.
"Where are we supposed to find a piñata? Do you even know where they are made?" Wolfwood asked looking at Vash.
"Uh…Hmmm…Hehe! I don't know!" Vash said as a sweat drop fell from his head.
A vein popped out of Wolfwood's forehead. His eye began to twitch. "You idiot!" He said punching Vash in the back of the head.
"Ow! That hurt!" Vash said while rubbing the back of his head.
Wolfwood sighed. "Come on Katie. Let's see if we can at least get out of this forest." He said grabbing Katie by the hand.
Katie suddenly gasped. "Oh-No! I forgot Kuroneko!" Katie said as if she was about to cry.
"Don't worry! I shut the door!" Vash said putting his hand on Katie's shoulder.
"Ok. I just hope she doesn't get lonely." Kaite said in a sad voice.
"I'm sure she's fine." Wolfwood said trying to comfort her.
Back at the Ship
The ship's door was wide opened. Kuroneko sat at the entrance staring into the forest. Suddenly a white cat with blue eyes and two little horns on the top of it's head, popped out from behind a tree.
"Neow?" Translation: "Who are you?" Kuroneko asked.
"Neow, neow!" Translation: "My name is Whuandisimo Falibious! But you may call me bob!" He said trying to impress Kuroneko.
"Neow, neow! Neow, neow, neow." Translation: "My name's Kuroneko. You're funny looking' bob." She said casually.
"Neow neow, neow neow neow. Neow neow? Translation: "Thanks, your kinda funny looking' too. Wanna go mate?" He asked calmly.
"Neow, neow." Translation: "Yeah, ok." She said as she followed Bob into the forest.
"We've been in this stupid forest for hours! Are we almost out?" Vash whined.
"Vash, we've only been walking for about thirty minutes and no we're not almost out." Wolfwood said with a sigh.
"Daddy. I'm tired and my feet hurt." Katie whined.
"Here, you can ride on my shoulders." Wolfwood said picking up Katie and putting her on his shoulders. "Here." He said giving Vash his cross punisher.
"Why do I have to carry it!" Vash complained.
"Cause you not carrying anything, and I'm holding Katie." Wolfwood said in an annoyed tone.
Vash grumbled. Suddenly a large figure ran threw the trees.
"Vash, give me my cross." Wolfwood said in a serious tone.
"What? Two seconds ago you made me hold it!" Vash said in an annoyed voice.
"Just shut up and give it to me!" Wolfwood said almost shouting.
Vash knew something was wrong and gave it to him. Wolfwood put Katie down and made her hide behind him. Vash pulled out his gun while Wolfwood took the sheet off his huge cross punisher. Katie became scarred and started crying. Suddenly the large figure ran by again. Wolfwood shot in the direction of where it was.Suddenly a huge alien popped out of the trees. Katie screamed. Wolfwood and Vash pointed there guns at it.
It was huge, about seven in a half feet tall. It had two large bottom fangs that stuck out over his upper lip, and two horns sticking out of the top of it's head (They looked like horns that would be on a goat). It had two floppy ears, it's left ear had an ear ring in it. It was large and muscular with a line of spikes running down it's back. It had a tail of a dog and stood on it's hind legs. It's fore arms were also muscular and it wore spike bracelets on it's wrists. It wore pants that were torn and ragged at the bottom with a belt with a skull on it. It had huge claws and large feet.
"Ahhh! Don't shoot!" It screamed as it fell to the floor and covered it's head with it's large hands.
"Huh?" Vash and Wolfwood looked at each other not believing what they were seeing. This huge alien that could easily rip them to shreds was cowering at there feet begging not to be shot.
"Uh, you can get up. We won't shoot you if you promise not to eat us…Or kill us." Wolfwood said lowering his gun.
The alien sighed in relief. "Don't worry I wasn't gonna hurt ya anyways." It said standing back up and brushing it's self off. "I was just lookin' for my cat. Have any of you guys seen him?" It asked politely.
Katie, Vash, and Wolfwood all starred wide eyed at the alien in disbelief.
The alien looked at them as if they were weird. "Oh I'm sorry! I forgot to introduce myself!" It said smacking itself on the head. "My name is Krogreinsgosnaomegahisazeakeo! Uh, but you can just call me Krog." He said with a kind smile.
The three still just starred at him. Finally Katie smiled at him.
"Hi Krog, I'm Kathryn! But you can call me Katie! I'm from the planet Gun Smoke." She said with an innocent smile.
Krog smiled at her. "Gun Smoke eh? We're practically neighbors then!" He looked over at Wolfwood and Vash. "Uh, what's wrong with those two?" Krog asked Katie.
Katie looked over at the two men. "Oh, there just weirded out cause you're a big scary alien. But your really nice and have a nice voice." Katie said looking back at Krog.
"Oh…Thanks, I guess." Krog said in an unsure tone. "So, whatcha here for?" He asked.
"We were tryin' to get to Earth. Uncle Vash (that's the guy with the blond hair) thought this was Earth. Is it?" Katie asked.
"Eh, no. Earth is about a hundred light years from here." Krog said scratching the back of his head.
"Hmmm…I'll have to tell daddy that. He's gonna be really mad at uncle Vash." Katie giggled.
"Hehe…Oh! Have you seen my cat?" Krog asked.
Katie gasped. "You have a kitty?" She asked with a big smile.
"Yeah! He's white with big, blue eyes and has two small horns on his head." Krog said while making hand motions with his descriptions.
"Hmmm…Nope sowy! Haven't seen him." Katie said in a apologetic voice.
"It's ok, I'm sure he'll show up sooner or later." Krog said in a disappointed tone.
"I have a kitty too! She's black with big green eyes!" Katie said excitedly.
"That's cool. Um…Do you guys need help getting to Earth?" Krog asked looking at Wolfwood and Vash.
"Huh? Oh, uh…I guess…Wait! This isn't Earth?" Wolfwood said, finally snapping out of it.
"Afraid not."
Wolfwood looked at Vash. "You idiot! This isn't Earth!" He said smacking him on the head.
"Ow! Then where are we?" Vash asked rubbing his head.
"You're on the planet Bitchzonia." Krog said proudly.
Wolfwood and Vash looked at each other. They began to snicker. "So we're on the planet Bitchzonia?" Vash giggled.
"Yeah…What's so funny?" Krog asked, a little offended.
"Oh, nothing…" Wolfwood snickered. "So are you a Bitchzonian? Or can we just call you a bitch for short?" Wolfwood and Vash burst out laughing.
"I don't get it? What so funny?" Krog asked looking down at Katie.
Katie sighed. "I don't understand them either." She said shrugging her shoulders.
So who is this Krog character? Is he just pretending to be nice so he can make Katie and the gang lunch? Maybe he really is nice. What about Keroneko and bob? Can their relationship last? Tune in next time find out! Only on "WTF"!