Abby sits up in the bed and stares at Ray who simply smirks at her. He rubs her shoulder and trails his fingers down her back, following each bump of her spine. His hand settles at the small of her back where he gently traces small circles.
"What, are you ready for a second round?" he asks sitting up and kissing her neck. Abby stares at him in disbelief before standing up to search for her dress. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's wrong? Did I say something to upset you?" Ray asks trying to get Abby's attention. Abby continues to search for something to wear. She picks up the negligee and sits on the bed.
"Hey, hey where's the fire?" Ray asks, "If you don't want to have another romp in the sack, that's fine; you don't have to leave."
"Yeah actually I do, Ray," Abby says walking going to Ray's dresser and pulling out a sweatshirt. Ray gets out of the bed and pulls on his boxers.
"What are you doing?" he asks, grabbing her arm. Abby turns to him and rolls her eyes.
"I'm leaving," she answers walking out the bedroom and picking her coat off the floor. Ray follows closely behind and watches her put the coat on. Abby walks to the bedroom and shoves her pantyhose into her coat pocket.
"Abby, what's wrong?" Ray asks, "What did I do? Please just tell me so I can fix the problem." Abby turns and glares at him.
"If you don't know what you did, you should take some time to think about it and call me when you have finally figured it out," she snaps. Abby walks out the front door, leaving it open. Ray walks to the door.
"Abby, come back!" Ray shouts. He watches her walk to the stairs. "At least come back and put some pants on!" Abby storms back into the apartment, nearly knocking Ray over. She marches into his bedroom. Ray follows her and grabs a pair of sweatpants out of his dresser. "Would you please just stay here tonight? You can have my bed; I'll sleep on the couch." Abby snatches the pants out of his hands and shakes her head. "Well would you at least let me drive you home?" Abby shakes her head again. "Abby it's barely twenty degrees outside; you'll freeze to death before you get anywhere. Let me drive you." Abby rolls her eyes.
"Whatever Ray," she answers walking out of the bedroom. Ray follows her out of the apartment and down to the car. The ride back to Abby's apartment is long and quiet, almost agonizing. Ray turns to look at Abby who is staring out the window, desperately trying to avoid any kind of conversation with him.
"So," Ray says putting his hand on Abby's thigh. She violently pulls away. The car pulls up just outside of Abby's apartment. "Listen," Ray says putting the car into park, "I just wanted to let you know that,"
"Bye!" Abby says interrupting him. She steps out of the car and slams the door. Ray watches her walk up the steps and disappear into the dark building. He sits in the car, staring at the steering wheel, feeling more alone than he ever has before.
Susan walks past Abby, who is standing at admit. She stops midstride and stares at Abby while she fills out papers. Forgetting her original task, Susan walks over to the desk and leans next to Abby.
"What's going on?" she asks. Abby looks up at her with a quizzical look and continues to fill out charts. "Come on Abby, talk to me. I know something is up. There's trouble in the land of love isn't there?" Abby scoffs and rolls her eyes. "I haven't seen you or Ray say a single word to each other yet today. You two haven't mysteriously disappeared to drug lockup. I'm a little bit worried." Abby laughs.
"Susan, nothing is going on; everything is fine. We're both just a bit worn out from Valentines Day. Between you and me, I had two very eventful days off."
"Sure Abby," Susan says walking away. Abby sighs and follows Susan into the lounge. She slumps down onto the couch.
"He did a few things that I didn't really like," she confesses. Susan sits down next to her. Abby puts her head in her hands. "He wants things to move a little bit faster than I'm ready for. I just want to take things slow, you know, test the waters. I don't want to rush into anything and repeat the past again. I don't think I could handle that. Ray just doesn't seem to understand." Susan puts her hand on Abby's knee.
"What happened?" she asks rubbing Abby's shoulder trying to coax her into talking.
"You're going to laugh, Susan," Abby says forcing a smile, "You really are. I know that I'm overreacting. It's really stupid." Abby continues rambling about everything under the sun. Susan stands up and walks over to her locker. She opens it and takes out a bottle of aspirin. "Do you know what he said to me?" Abby asks forcing a laugh. Susan shakes her head and stares at Abby, waiting for her to answer. Abby stands up and walks over to the coffee machine. She turns to look at Susan, holding the coffee cup, and laughs to herself. "He told me that he loves me." Susan's eyes grow wide but she says nothing. Instead she hands the bottle of aspirin to Abby. "I-I wanted to tell him that I love him too, I really did, but I couldn't. I know I have the capacity to love him; I'm just not ready. I mean my God, it's only been a month!" She opens the bottle of aspirin and shakes some pills into her hand.
"What did you do?" Susan asks sitting down. Abby sits down next to her and stares down into her coffee.
"I had a million emotions spinning around me at once and I felt paralyzed… I didn't know what to do… so I left. You know, just to clear my mind a bit. He apologized when I went back and I figured that it would be put on the back burned for a while." She pauses to sip her coffee. "But he just couldn't leave well enough alone." Haleh pokes her head through the door.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but the waiting room is filled with angry patients demanding treatment." Abby stands up and grabs her stethoscope.
"We'll be right out Haleh," Susan says standing up. Haleh nods and leaves the lounge. "Want to talk later?" Susan asks following Abby to the door. Abby nods as they both step into the ER and stare at the sea of patients.
Abby walks out of the lounge wrapped in her coat. She walks past the admit desk and waves to Sam. She passes Susan coming out of exam two but continues toward the exit.
"Hey Abby, wait up!" Susan shouts, "What the rush to get out of here for?" Abby turns around and smiles. Susan walks up next to her and looks at her expectantly.
"Susan, this was my first eight hour shift in weeks, and I want to get out of here before it turns into a sixteen hour shift," Abby says trying to keep the annoyance from creeping into her voice. She and Susan walk through the ER towards the ambulance bay.
"When are we going to finish talking about Ray?" Susan asks, "You know, we left off at 'he just couldn't leave well enough alone…' I'm curious to find out what happened." Abby shakes her head.
"I'm leaving now, we'll talk later, okay?" Abby says stepping out into the ambulance bay. Susan puts on a pout and leans against the doorframe watching Abby walk away, her small figure growing smaller until the cold night swallows her whole. Red lights flash across the building and a piercing wail cuts through the air, alerting everyone of the arrival of an incoming trauma.
Ray stares down at the seemingly lifeless body that is lying on the gurney in front of him. He lets his mind wander to thoughts of Abby, forgetting the chaos of the ER. Carter looks up at him and frowns.
"Ray! Did you hear me?" he shouts. Ray stares at him for a moment and slowly nods. "Ray get out of here; you're just in the way! When you figure out how to get your head out of the clouds, come back." Ray pulls his gloves off while leaving the trauma room. He slowly walks over to admit and kicks the corner of the desk.
Susan walks into the lounge and Ray is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. She sits next to Ray and sighs.
"I noticed you were having a tough time concentrating in there," she says. Ray nods but says nothing. "So what did you do wrong?" Susan asks staring down at an imaginary piece of garbage on the floor. Ray looks up into her eyes and she smirks at him. "Come on Ray," Susan says, "She's my best friend. I know when things aren't right." Ray nods. "I also knew something was up when I didn't have to send Chuny to chase you two out of drug lockup." Ray laughs halfheartedly. Susan walks over to her locker and pulls out her coat and scarf. "I'm going up to the roof for my break; care to join me? We could talk." Ray considers Susan's offer for a moment and finally nods.
The door to the roof swings open and Susan and Ray walk over to the edge of the building. They gaze down at the city below. The city lights mirror the night sky, stretching out, farther than the eye can see. Susan and Ray stand next to each other in silence clinging to the meager amount of heat emitted by the cups of coffee in their hands.
"So, do you want to talk about what's going on?" Susan asks. Ray smiles at her.
"You really are a nosey one aren't you?" he asks, "Why don't you ask Abby seeing as you two are such great friends." Susan shrugs.
"I'm not nosey. I just figured that you might want to talk about it… And I already asked Abby; we just didn't get to finish our conversation. Normally I wouldn't go around asking about these things, but I'm dying here! I really need to know what happened. Okay, maybe I'm a little bit nosey…" Ray laughs and shifts uncomfortably. He and Susan stand in silence for a while longer.
"I guess I'm an ass," Ray says breaking the silence. He glances over at Susan expecting an answer. Susan clears her throat and looks at him.
"Well the first step to recovery is admitting that there is a problem," she says with a smirk. Ray rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He looks out across the horizon and then lets his gaze fall down to the cup in his hands.
"And people say that I'm the jerk," he mumbles. He takes a drink. "I thought that things were going well enough between Abby and me. I-I don't know, I guess I dropped a bomb on her the other day… several times. He looks over at Susan who is studying him.
"What did you do?" Susan asks. Ray smirks and laughs to himself.
"What was that about you not being nosey?" he asks. Susan sighs and rolls her eyes.
"Continue please!" she exclaims. Ray laughs.
"Okay, okay. Well, on Valentines Day I went out and bought Abby some flowers and,"
"Ha! I didn't get any flowers. Shows how much people appreciate me!" Susan exclaims interrupting Ray.
"Excuse me," Ray says, "You wanted to hear this story, so you are going to sit there and listen. Nosey." Susan sticks her tongue out at him. "Anyway," Ray starts, "After I gave her the flowers, I told her,"
"I know this part already," Susan says interrupting him again, "You told her that you love her and then she freaked out and ran away the end." Ray stares at her incredulously. "Remember Ray, I talked to Abby earlier today." He rolls his eyes. "But seriously, what were you thinking Ray!" Susan exclaims. Ray shrugs, searching for words. "Have you ever had a girlfriend before?"
"Susan, you are talking to the ultimate ladies man, of course I've had a girlfriend before! I've had a ton," Ray answers getting a bit too cocky for his own good. He laughs to himself.
"How many of those past girlfriends did you say 'I love you' to?" Susan asks. Ray thinks for a little bit.
"I don't know," he answers, "A lot of them I guess. Why does that matter?" Susan ignores his question and continues her interrogation.
"How may of those 'I love yous' weren't real, just empty words?" she asks. Ray doesn't answer. "Ray, don't you get it?" Susan asks, "You don't say those words to a woman who you've been dating for a month; it's not enough time to develop trust, especially not for Abby. Just, give her some time, she hasn't been in a relationship for a while and her past relationships just haven't been the greatest. She has trouble trusting people."
"Yeah, it's going to be a while before she trusts me again," Ray says, "I royally fucked up any chances of a relationship with her." Susan looks at him, confusion playing across her face. "I had a little surprise meeting set up between her and my parents," Ray says to his coffee cup. Susan massages her forehead with her hand and sighs. "And then I asked her when I get to meet her family." Susan sighs again.
"Please tell me that you didn't do that!" she exclaims. Ray looks at her with no emotion on his face. "Oh Ray why did you do that? Are you really that stupid?" He simply nods.
Neela and Abby are sitting on their couch watching television. There's a bowl of popcorn, a few cans of coke, and a half eaten pizza sitting on the floor in front of them. The two women are engrossed in the television show. Neela scrunches her face into a frown.
"I don't get it," she says picking up the bowl of popcorn from the floor and setting it between Abby and herself. She grabs a handful of the fluffy kernels and eats them one by one. "Why does the coyote continue to pursue the roadrunner when it is obvious that he will never succeed in catching it?" Abby shrugs and takes a drink of her soda.
"I don't know, but I've got a better question. Why are we watching this?" She picks up the remote and changes the channel. "We have how many channels that probably air programs that are somewhat good for the mind or are at least somewhat entertaining, and we choose this? Are we crazy?" Neela ignores Abby's questions and attempts to change the subject.
"I heard that Ray's band has a gig coming up," she says. Abby nods. Neela looks over at Abby, trying to read her. Abby becomes conscious of Neela's gaze and turns to stare back. A slight smile creeps onto her lips.
"What?" she asks, "What did I do?"
"Nothing," Neela answers turning back to the television. Abby shrugs and grabs a slice of pizza. "A penny for your thoughts," Neela mumbles still staring at the television. Abby looks at her in confusion.
"Uh, well…" she stutters, "I-I'm not really thinking about anything right now."
"What about Ray?" Neela asks. Abby stares at her blankly. "He's been the only thing you have talked about for the past month and now nothing; not even when I bring him up. Abby, what's going on?" Abby chuckles.
"I don't know, Neela," she says picking at her pizza, "I guess I just need a break from Ray for a little while." Neela only nods slightly "What time do you have to go in to work?" Abby asks. Neela peeks at her watch and groans.
"Now," she whines. Abby laughs at her friend's little "tantrum" and then becomes sympathetic.
"I'm sorry Neela," she says, "I-I hope you have fun." Neela smiles and rolls her eyes.
"Yeah, maybe I'll get a patient with projectile vomiting or explosive diarrhea," she jokes as she stands up and retrieves her coat and scarf.
"Hey, don't be an underachiever," Abby laughs, "Go for the gold and pray for a patient who has both."
"Will do," Neela answers walking to the door, "I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight Abby."
"Bye Neela," Abby says watching the door close. She stands up and slowly gathers the dishes from where they lay in front of her. She pads softly across the cold floor into the kitchen where she sets the dishes down. Abby walks through her apartment, turning off the lights, along with the television. She steps into the empty bedroom and sighs. She turns the lights off and slips between the cold sheets. The darkness is thick, almost suffocating, clinging to her throat with each breath she takes. There aren't going to be any late night talks or cuddling tonight, just loneliness that weighs down heavily on her chest.
Ray is sitting at admit with his head resting on the desk. The entire ER is placid and has been for hours. Chuny and Haleh sit at the opposite end of the desk watching Ray.
"What do you think is wrong with him?" Chuny whispers. Haleh shrugs. Sam joins them in the staring game. Ray picks his head up and looks over at the three women. Without saying a word, he drops his head back onto the desk. The tiny ticks from the second hand of his watch echo deep within his brain, and every second is more agonizing than the last. Ray feels a hand on his shoulder; he looks up to meet Susan's eyes.
"Ray, why don't you go home," she offers, "We're dead here and we've got Luka and Morris coming in soon." Ray nods and stand up.
"Thanks Susan!" he calls over his should as he walks to the lounge. Chuny, Haleh, and Sam watch him disappear through the doors. They turn to Susan with questioning looks, waiting for an explanation. Susan shakes her head.
"No, I'm not saying anything," she says walking away from them.
Ray is walking down the lonely street with one destination in mind. The cold air bites at the nape of his neck and his breath hangs in the air like icy clouds. The sun is rising in the distance, bathing the world in a soft, golden glow that stretches out as far as the eye can see. The very same sunlight finds its way through Abby's curtains, flooding her bedroom. It dances on the foot of the bed, slowly making its way up the covers where it plays across Abby's face. She opens her sleepy eyes moments later, squinting against the bright light. She gazes around the room, taking everything in. Abby looks at the window where the sun is shining in and follows the ray of light to the vase of yellow tulips sitting on her dresser.