The Three Little Scientists and the Big Bad Wraith
Once upon a time there were three little scientists, all trying to develop a device to keep the big bad Wraith out of their fair city, Atlantis. All three thought of brilliant and wonderful ideas, and each thought their brilliant and wonderful idea was the best. The three scientists got in many arguments over who had the best idea. Since they had no way to test these ideas on Atlantis, they asked their boss, Elizabeth, if they could go out into the galaxy and test their devices.
After many arguments and discussions about wasting time and resources, Elizabeth reluctantly approved, so off the three scientists went.
Beckett, the first scientist, surrounded himself with a fog, deadly to Wraith, but not humans.
Zelenka, the second scientist, built a shield around himself made of energy and light.
McKay, the third scientist, built a Naquada-reinforced bomb shelter with drone launching capability.
One day, a group of Wraith, who loved to feed on well-fed Atlantean scientists, arrived on the planet. The Wraith, led by a rather sinister-looking leader named Steve, saw Beckett standing in his cloud of fog and said, "Little scientist, little scientist, surrender now, or we will stun you!"
"Not on yer life, ye WRAITH! My Wraith-killing fog will protect me!" Beckett shouted back. However, what Dr. Beckett failed to consider was that the Wraith could just stun him from a distance, and wait for the fog to blow away before feeding on him. The Wraith were about to do just that, but a Jumper decloaked above Dr. Beckett and took out the Wraith with a drone.
The Jumper set down, and out stepped Colonel John Sheppard. "What? You think Elizabeth would let the three of you run Wraith experiments on a planet with no backup? Right." So, Dr. Beckett, safe and alive, got into the Jumper with Colonel Sheppard and headed for Dr. Zelenka's position.
A few hours later, another group of Wraith, who also loved to feed on well-fed Atlantean scientists, arrived on the planet. This group of Wraith, led by a rather sinister looking leader named Bob, saw Zelenka standing in his shield of light and energy and said "Little scientist, little scientist, surrender now, or we will stun you!"
"I think not, you Wraith, my shield will protect me from your stun guns!" Zelenka shouted back at the Wraith. However, what Zelenka failed to consider was that his shield was still vulnerable to Wraith beaming technology. Just as the Wraith were about to beam him up into a Dart, a Jumper decloaked and took out the Wraith and their Dart with a drone.
The Jumper set down, and out stepped Colonel John Sheppard. "Yup, Elizabeth was right, can't leave the scientists alone. Get in the Jumper, Zelenka; it's about time to go save Rodney.'" So, Dr. Zelenka, safe and alive, got into the Jumper with Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Beckett and headed for Dr. McKay's position.
A few hours later, another group of Wraith, who also loved to feed on well-fed Atlantean scientists, arrived on the planet. This group of Wraith, led by a rather sinister-looking leader named Hector, saw Rodney's Naquada reinforced bomb shelter and said, "Little scientist, little scientist, surrender now, or we will stun you!"
"Just try it, buddy! My Naquada-reinforced bomb shelter will protect me!" So, the Wraith took aim at Dr. McKay's shelter. The Wraith fired and fired but their stun blasts could not penetrate the Naquada reinforced bomb shelter.
Hector, being a sly Wraith, wandered around the shelter looking for another way in. Hector saw an air vent and climbed up on the roof of the shelter to try and make his way in.
As Hector climbed the roof, Colonel Sheppard decloaked his Jumper right above the shelter. Sheppard was about to take out the Wraith when suddenly the entire shelter glowed with electrical pulses and two drones flew out the air vent, which ironically, wasn't a air vent at all, but a weapons disbursement tube. Hector was electrocuted by the charges and the drones took out the remaining Wraith.
The Jumper set down, and out stepped Colonel John Sheppard but before he could speak Rodney exited the shelter and started yelling. "What you are doing? Are you TRYING to get yourself killed? It's a good thing my superior intellect drove me to install sensors and I knew that was you above me and not a Wraith Dart."
Colonel Sheppard looked contrite. "I was just trying to rescue you!"
"Yes, because I'm obviously incapable of taking care of myself and in need of rescuing. Right. Do I look like Carson or Radek? Well, so long as you are here, help me get this back to Atlantis. I think I can incorporate some of this into our weapons system. I may have hypoglycemia, a deadly citrus allergy, and occasionally act like a coward but I am not an idiot. Speaking of my hypoglycemia, Carson do you have a PowerBar or something? I'm feeling faint. . . " And with that the three little scientists flew back to Atlantis and lived happily ever after.