When It Rains, Part II: Never Hurt Anyone
It was raining the first time they told him.
"You look like a wet dog."
Remus doesn't think there was anything funny about this, but James, Sirius, and Peter can't breath because they're laughing so hard.
Remus sits on the edge of his bed, book propped open his lap. He waits patiently for his friends to get their wits about them, which could take years.
It is three days until the full moon and he feels worse for the wear. So while the other boys were running around enjoying their Saturday, Remus stays in bed. From the looks of their wet clothes and huge smiles that can only mean trouble, this might have been a good thing.
"Funny you should say that." Sirius spreads himself across the sheets like Remus had not gone through all the trouble of making sure they were clean and well made. "I am kinda dog like, huh?"
"A total dog," Remus agrees. He has no idea what they are talking about, but has found that it makes life much more easier if one simply agrees with Sirius on every matter when he was smiling like that.
"But Moony," Sirius uses the nickname James had given the werewolf side of him. 'How was Moony tonight?' He asks after Pomfrey would allow them to visit him in the infirmary. James had taken to asking the oddest questions. 'Was he bad? Did it hurt? Did you kill any rats? Do you ever kill rats?"
Sirius smiles and, without warning, grabs hold of Remus's face and licks him across the cheek. A huge, slobber lick that elicits a chorus of moans and 'gross!' from the other three boys. Remus pulls back, swatting at Sirius as he uses the sleeve of his robe to wipe away his friend's spit. "What the bloody hell?"
Peter is beside him now, and Remus can't remember seeing him this full of energy. "Can we tell him now?" He asks. He keeps bouncing on the balls of his feet in a way that is starting to make Remus a bit dizzy.
"It's a surprise!" James claims. He has his chin up in the air, which means he's done something of which he is unusually proud. Remus's stomach jumps a few times. The last time he saw that look Snape was left in the hospital wing for a full two days.
"Fuck surprises," Sirius says. He is still on Remus's bed, though his arms have fallen away from Remus's face and around his shoulders. Remus can feel the rainwater seeping in through his robes.
"How do you suggest we tell him then," James asks. "We can't just come out with it, can we? The poor boy will have a heart attack."
"Tell me what?" Remus asks. He fidgets around a bit, trying to hide his excitement. James is all smiles and hand motions, and Remus wants to be in on the joke.
"I'll have a heart attack if we don't let it out soon," Sirius replies. He's still hugging Remus, and now he's leaned in close enough that he's nearly snuggling against his neck. Remus tries scooting closer to Peter, who is still acting like a bundle of nerves.
"What are you two going on about?" Remus asks.
Sirius laughs and hugs Remus around the shoulders, really hugs him so that Remus is leaning into him and no blood is getting into his arms. "We've gotten you a gift," he says.
"What sort of gift would give me a heart attack?" Remus is surprised he can speak with Sirius trying to squeeze the air out of him.
"Why would we give you a heart attack?" Peter asks.
"Yeah," Sirius nods. "We like our Moony. We don't want him dead."
Remus doesn't know how much longer he can stand the cryptic talk and strangling hugs when James comes to his rescue. "I think Remus is going to have a heart attack if you keep molesting him, Sirius," He says, wrapping a hand around Sirius's collar. "Bad dog!"
All three boys laugh again. Remus rubs his shoulders, bruised from Sirius's tight squeeze. "Are you drunk?" He asks James.
"No... Not really. Not in a good old sense, anyway." James was back to making as little sense as the rest of them. "I think its just Sirius. It was the first time he'd managed it almost all the way, all though it only lasted a minute or so. I can do it for a whole five, though Peter says my coat shouldn't be made of black, mangy hair."
"Mine should!" Sirius pips. He's lying back of Remus's bed, the comforter growing darker under him as the water from his clothes spread out. "Mangy, black dog!"
Remus closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "This gift?" He asks. "Did you get me a dog, by chance?"
All three of them begin laughing again.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
It was raining after their first night together.
"That was..."
The boys lay completely still in the middle of the clearing. Remus thinks they need to be heading back to the shrieking shack before Madam Pomfrey finds him missing, but he can't make himself move. The rain, it's more of a light sprinkle really and it feels so good on his skin. Almost as good as it feels to be lying on the muddy, wet grass in the middle of the Forbidden Forest after the full moon.
"That was wonderful!" James supplies the word Remus can't find. Remus nods, but really he doesn't think wonderful covers everything.
"Did you see that jump?" James asks. "Peter," He turns to his right, nudging Peter in the side. Peter grunts, still out of breath and covered in a thin layer of sweat and rain. "Did you see that jump? Did you SEE me? It was like flying! Just like flying!"
"We get it, James," Sirius says. He's got his eyes closed. Remus squints his eyes and through the veil of drizzle bouncing off Sirius's skin it almost looks as though he's friend is surrounded by a halo. "You like to jump."
"At least I didn't try and sniff Moony's ass," James retorts.
Remus snorts as Sirius flails his arms about, trying to hit James without actually moving. "You tried to sniff my ass?"
"Only once," Sirius replies. He looks over at Remus with a smile that would have scared Remus in his first year. He's use to it now, which may or may not be a good thing. "What can I say, you have a cute ass. Very round and firm and-"
"Furry," James says. "You have a very furry ass."
"At least," Remus says. "My furry ass is only when I'm a wolf." He twists his head to smile at James and feels something heavy slip away from him. It's the first time he's really consciously referred to himself as a wolf out loud.
"Yeah. What's your excuse, James?" Sirius asks. James picks up a rock and tosses it at Sirius. It lands on Remus's belly, and suddenly Remus is reminded that despite being surrounded by all his friends it doesn't stop the moon from making him feel as though he has been properly cursed this way and back.
"I'm going to be sick," He announces, clutching his bruising stomach and launching himself onto his knees just in time.
"That's gross," Sirius says, and Remus feels a nice warm robe wrap around his shoulders.
"We should probably get back before Pomfrey," Peter says. He's standing close enough that Remus can use his shoulder to help pull himself off the ground.
James was standing by the edge of the clearing looking around. "Does anyone know how we got here?" He asks.
All four boys fall silent for a while.
Peter breaks it with, "Bullocks."
James looks over at Sirius. "I'm not guessing you've been trained as a tracking dog."
Sirius snaps his fingers. "I know I should have taken 'Survival Skills for Illegal Animagi'. I mean, who needs charms?"
"Guys?" Peter asks. He looked over his shoulders past the dark crowd of trees that seemed to be boxing the boys into the clearing. "We should try and get back now."
"We ARE trying!" James sounds stressed. He scratches the back of his head and tries not to make eye contact with anyone. "We just need to remember where we came from, that's all."
"Maybe you could smell the wolf," Remus suggests to Sirius. He is shaking, even with his friend's robes wrapped around him.
Sirius shrugs. "I guess it's worth a try," He says, but he doesn't look up to it. Remus remembers James mentioning that it was still exhausting for the other two, transforming back and fourth. He thinks of it like he thinks about his transformations and how they leave him unable to walk straight and sick to the stomach. He doesn't want to ask any of them to try that again.
Sirius looks down at his feet and Remus is about to tell him that, no, they'd find another way when his face lights up. "Hey, what about these?" He asks, pointing at the floor. "Can't we follow these... Pronged things?"
James and Peter hurry over to where the other two boys are standing.
"They're hoof marks," Remus explains. "From James."
"Pronged things," James scoffs. Now that they're not as lost he seems much more cheerful.
"You know what I meant," Sirius says, smiling as he steps around the stag's footprints. "Come on, then. We're following the pronged things."
"Hoof prints," James corrects. Sirius doesn't care for the correction, and has already diapered into the thick forest. James is quick to follow.
Remus shakes his head and starts after the two. He makes it about four steps before tripping. "Are you all right?" Peter asks. In the background Sirius is calling James a mule and James is yelling about fleas.
"I'm fine," Remus says without even thinking. He picks himself off the ground and brushes off his bruises knee, ignoring the sting in his bleeding palms. Peter gives him a skeptical look.
"All right," He answers, walking off to catch up with the other two.
A few seconds later James is by his side. Remus is shaking so badly he can't even be mad at Peter for telling on him.
"I think I might transfigure," He says. "Just to show Sirius."
"All right," Remus says. He's having a hard time working his voice and his feet at the same time. James doesn't point out how unsteady he is.
"Want to help me get back at that arrogant prick?" James asks. Remus gives a weak nod. "Climb on, okay?"
Moments later, Peter and Sirius were passed by a boy on back of a stag.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Valentine's Day is one of those holidays rain should have been illegal for, but that didn't matter to the rain.
"I can't go to Hogsmeade this weekend," Alastair says.
Remus looks up from his book called 'Wizarding Wars Around The World'. "Why not?"
"I promised Slughorn that I'd help with something," He replied. Remus nods. Professor Slughorn was constantly asking people for certain things. James says it was just so he could burry his claws deeper into their skin and suck out all their talent and life. Sirius says James was just mad because Lily Evans took some Hufflepuff boy to one of his parties last month.
Alastair is one year above Remus and his friends. He is one of the few Gryffindors that appreciates spending quiet time in the library, which was how Remus had noticed him in the first place. He asked Remus out about two months ago, and they had been dating ever since.
Dating was a strong term for it. More like snogging in the dark corners of the library and studying together without their louder friends around to distract them.
"Well," says Remus, shutting his book. "I guess I'll see you around."
"Right," Alastair seems relieved to see Remus taking it so well. "I'll see you Monday, all right?"
"All right." Remus slips his books into his bags and starts walking towards the dorms.
He tells himself he isn't disappointed.
Boys don't like Valentine's Day, he reminds himself. It is over romantic, and it is cheesy, and the whole thing is about giggling girls and perfumed air and hairy little men in togas, none of which were appealing to Remus. Even if Alastair hadn't been busy, it wouldn't have been a date-date and so there was no reason for Remus to feel upset.
Still, he remembers his father taking him to the werewolf registry and the look of horror in people's eyes as he passed them by. He remembers lying up at night thinking about how disgusting Adair Connor is and how he couldn't stop jerking off to the thought of another boy's lips on his own. He remembers thinking that he was always going to be alone. He remembers thinking that he'll make himself die alone because no one should have to love a pervert.
Still, Valentine's Day is for girls and Remus tells himself he isn't disappointed.
"Why are you here?" Sirius is sprawled out on his own bed. He is wearing a pair of black robes that aren't his school robes and seem to fit him better. Remus resists the urge to reach out and touch the fabric. He already knows it would be much too soft under his fingers. "Aren't you out celebrating Valentine's Day?"
Sirius snorts. "Valentine's Day is for girls," he says. Remus nods in agreement. It is for girls. Not for boys, not matter how excited they are about it.
"I though you had a date," He says. He remembers Pricilla Dresdun talking about how she and Sirius were going to Hogsmeade for Valentine's Day this weekend. She sat in front of him for Arithmancy and spent every day talking to him about how wonderful Sirius is and how much he likes her. Sirius, for his part, treated her the same as he did before they were dating. Only every now and then he would snog with her in a corridor. Remus didn't really notice much of a change.
"I don't want to," Sirius says. "She's annoying. She never shuts up. All she does is talk talk talk."
"I thought you liked that," Remus says. "You broke up with Clementine because she was too shy and never spoke up."
"Exactly," Sirius says. "I thought she never talked because she had better things to do with her mouth. She didn't."
Remus doesn't say anything. He likes Clementine. She is a sweet Hufflepuff in their year, very nice and well read. Her only fault is that she had a huge crush on Sirius.
"Anyway," Remus says, determined to change the subject to protect what was left of Clementine's honor intact between the two boys. "So you called off your date with Pricilla?"
"I told her I believed deeply in divinations," Sirius says with a completely straight face that Remus find eerie. "And that anyone who kisses on a rainy Valentine's Day is doomed to forever be trapped in a series of heart breaking relationship and that I didn't want to put either of us in danger."
Remus takes a moment to digest all of this. "You're an arse, you know that?"
"But at least I'm not an arse who is on a date with Pricilla Dresdun." Sirius bites his lower lip and starts chewing it over, a sign that he's feeling down. Remus recognizes it easily, because it seems to always happen when they're talking about girls. No matter how sweet the girl Sirius always seemed weary of her attention and usually ended up being too nervous to have more than four or five dates. Remus has a feeling that it has something to do with Sirius's mom.
"What are you planning on doing today then," Remus asks. "If you're not kissing anyone?"
"I don't know," Sirius admits. "I guess we could go down to Hogsmeade anyway." As an after thought he adds, "Unless you've a date."
Remus shakes his head. "I have nothing better to do then follow you around."
"It's a date, then," Sirius says and hops out of bed.
Half an hour later Sirius is balancing a bottle of butterbeer on his nose. At least he's trying to, and making a bit of a fool out of himself.
"You're making a bit of a fool out of yourself," Remus says, twirling his own mug of coco around, creating little circles of light and dark chocolate on the surface.
"Am not," Sirius says, but he takes the bottle of his face anyway. "Where do you suppose everyone else is?"
"That new love café," Remus says without even thinking about it. They both know that nearly every couple in Hogwarts bypassed The Three Broomsticks and headed over to Madam Puddifoot's, a small romantic getaway in the middle of Hogsmeade. Or so the girls claimed. Remus hadn't gotten close enough to see, but to him it looks liked a giant sore thumb sticking out of the town with a pretty pink ribbon tied around it.
"Right," Sirius says. Remus can tell he's starting to get bored, and a bored Sirius is never a rule-following, not-get-the-newly-elected-Prefect-Remus-a-detention Sirius. "This is boring." Remus winces, and wonders if he must be right about this sort of thing all the time.
"Where's James?" Remus asks, trying to distract his friend from doing something Remus would regret later.
"He convinced Jillian Urson to take him to Slughorn's Valentine Party," Sirius says with a snort. Sirius hates Slughorn with a passion, even though their potion's teacher is rather fond of Sirius. Rather, he is fond of the amount of talent Sirius has shown. "Apparently Evans is going and refused to take him."
"Not surprising," Remus says. "James must hate whoever Lily went with."
"Yeah. I thought he was going to kill Malstrom."
Something in Remus's stomach turns. He sets down his coco and tells himself it's probably heartburn from the biscuits him and Sirius had shared. They had tasted a little off. "Malestrom?" He repeats. "You mean Alastair Malestrom in sixth year?"
"How many Malestroms do you know?" Sirius roles his eyes, and that sick feeling Remus has starts again double fold. "Of course, it's a bit of a shock. Didn't mention it until today," Sirius says. "Probably knew James would kill him. Shame. Always thought Malestrom was a good guy."
"He's always seemed like a bit of a bastard to me." Remus hopes his voice doesn't shake.
"Funny," Sirius says, cocking his head to the side as if trying to study Remus. Remus tips back his mug of coco to hide himself from Sirius. "He reminded me a bit of you. Always figured you two got along. Don't you both spend a load of time in the library together."
"Yeah," Remus answers as deadpan as he could manage. Unfortunately this required lowering his cup and now Sirius was staring at him again. "You think Jillian will drag James down to that new café afterwards?" He asks, hoping the subject change wasn't too blatant.
Sirius snorts. His dislike of all things romantic was stronger than his urge to quiz Remus. "Puddifoot? What kind of name is that, anyway?"
"I think it's a last name." Remus says, but Sirius isn't listening.
"It sounds so stupid. Puddifoot. Like Puddle-Foot it Patty-Foot or Pud-Foot."
"That makes no sense," Remus says.
"Or Puw-Foot or Paw-foot. Like a dog. Who names a romantic restaurant after a dog?"
Remus shrugs. "I don't know. I think dogs are lovable enough."
Both boys fall quite.
Remus bites his tongue. Sirius is just sitting there was a very unreadable look on his face. "We should probably head back now," Remus suggests.
Sirius shakes his head. "Look outside," he says. Remus turns around and sees that outside the pub the storm has only gotten worse since he and Sirius had arrived. "We'll just wait until it calms down a little."
"We could use an umbrella spell," Remus says. "Besides, how do you know it's going to calm down? We could be here all night."
Sirius shrugs, downing the last of his butterbeer. "Then we shall be here all night!" He declares, standing up and slamming down his empty bottle to add some conviction in his words. Remus winces as half the pub turns to stare at the two boys.
Sirius either doesn't notice the attention or doesn't feel up to basking in it at the moment. "I'm going to go play a round of chess," Sirius said, motioning over to the two tables was the broken bits of old wizarding chess pieces sat. "Coming?"
Remus shrugged. "Sure," He replies, standing up and brushing off his robe. He uses the time not to think about what he had said or about Alastair and Lily or about the weird looks Sirius has been giving him. "You know I'm going to win, though."
"I know," Sirius says, managing to look cheerful about the prospects of loosing.
"Let the record show that you have accepted your inevitable defeat," Remus teases. "And hereby surrender all rights to whining and/or rematches in the face of lose."
Sirius smiles, leaning over the table until the two boys were inches apart. He is wearing a dangerous smile. One Remus has come to associate with the screams of girls running from bathrooms and teacher's yelling from down the hall. "For the record," he says, "whatever it is. I think wolves are rather lovable as well."
For the first time in years Sirius beats Remus at chess.