Disclaimer: Filthy laws, they stole it, they did. It's ours, it is, and we wants it! Precious! (thunk) Dazed Lucie: We doesn't own it, precious!

To fetch-thranduilion: Aw, I'm sorry! Thank you very much though, I'm flattered! I hope you enjoy this deliciously random chapter ;-

To Tears of the Flames: I know, that's what makes it so stupid! Thank you and I hope you enjoy this, it's wonderful to know that people are reading my story!

Chapter 4: Behold! The Chapter Without a Title!

After Grima fled, Théoden suddenly felt a great weight in his heart. Someone was missing.

"I seem to have mislaid something, or someone. Yet the depths of my memory are unclear," he said slowly. Then, horrible reality dawned.

"Where is Théodred? Where is my son?"

Aragorn cleared his throat nervously, but was silenced by a Death Glare from Gandalf.

Eowyn suddenly found the stones beneath her feet very interesting.

Gandalf led him down to the burial mounds, and he kneeled near his son's grave.

"Pretzels. Ever have they grown on the tombs of my forebears. Now they shall cover the grave of my son." He picked one and took a bite. "Wonderful idea though, is it not? Comfort food, right at the grave, making mourning easy."

Gandalf shook his head resignedly, and said in a bored tone of voice, "will wonders never cease?" He turned to go back into Edoras, but stopped when hesawtwo children riding towards them. The boy slid off the horse, unconcious,and the girl looked at him with big sad eyes------

"pfffftbfffcough cough!! No sentimental stuff here, okay?" yelled the produceer. Only to realize - THIS WAS NOMOVIE, THIS WAS REAL! He promptly suffered a fatal heart attack, and the movie making terror was no more.

"They had no toasters. They were unwarmed. Now the wild men are roving through the Westfold, burning as they go. Rick, cott and tree," Eowyn informed. She went back to tending the little girl.

"This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash," said Gandalf. "Ride out and meet him head-on. Draw him away from your women and mushrooms."

Merry's head shot up. "Did somebody say mushrooms? All hobbits love mushrooms. There was this one time-" Gandalf clapped a hand over his mouth, and looked at him with a very strange expression.

"Oops, I guess I'm early. I thought I heard somebody shout 'Scene 24', so I came on. I had no idea! Should I leave? Wait - did you say mushrooms?"

Gandalf vanished him away to where he was supposed to be immediately, before anyone noticed. He heaved a sigh of relief, and returned his attention to the conversation.

"You have 2,000 good volleyball nets being carried to Wal-Mart as we speak. Éomer is loyal to you, and his men will return and fight for their King," Aragorn was saying.

Théoden looked at him with a puzzled expression, but stood up and paced across the hall anyway. "They will be 300 leagues from here by now," he said exasperatedly.

Gandalf got up to say something, but the King cut him off.

"I know what it is you ask of me, but I cannot further endanger my people. I will not risk an open butter churn."

Aragorn put in his two cents. "Open butter churns are upon you, whether you would risk it or not."

Théoden spun around and fixed him with an icy glare. "What, you actually want dead flies in your butter?" Theoden looked horrified, but then recovered his cool demeanor."When last I looked, Théoden, not Aragorn, was King of Rohan."

They silently agreed to a staring contest.

Eowyn looked. Gimli burped and wiped his mouth with his beard. Aragorn and Théoden stared. Gandalf waited. Aragorn and Théoden stared.

Finally, Gandalf broke the silence by saying, "Then what is the King's decision?"

After the arrangements for the trip to Helm's Deep had been made, they ate a small meal - including, to the chagrin of Merry who was just off set, grilled mushrooms. Then, everyone went into hurry packing mode. Treebeard would have been thoroughly befuddled, had he seen it.

As it was, a studios field mouse was watching from one of the high windows in the roof. He watched the goings-on with interest, for he was a scout for the Rohan League of Field Mice, and he was supposed to find out more about packing things away, by watching these humans. His name was Harry.

While he watched and took notes, however, something else caught his eye. One of the homo sapiens females had taken a sword out of a box and was swinging it around. Then one of the men came up and blocked it.

'Now I have the perfect oppurtunity to witness human courting behavior!' thought Harry.

The man and woman looked at each other strangely, and started talking. The woman bobbed her head up and down a bit while she talked. At length, the man walked away.

"Poofhumph!" huffed Harry, putting away his notebook. "I'm going back to report to Mouse Pad 24."

As the stream of people that made up Edoras passed a lake some time later, Gimli was

giving Eowyn some Dwarvish education, when suddenly his horse bolted and he fell off in a graceful arc. Eowyn immediately went into motherly mode, and ran over to see if he was hurt.

He professed to be fine, but she insisted on doctoring him, and a month later he was still trying to get that danged ointment out of his beard.

a/n: What say ye? (u're supposed to say Aye!) I'm really sorry this chapter is so short, and I'm not sure how funny it is, but I couldn't write more, because I ran out of funny juice. How I'm doing this story is that I get a friend to give me 7 random words, and I build the chapter around that. This accounts for randomness! Review please, and I'll see you next time!