Author(ess): EvenAngelsCry (formerly Muses9)
Pairings: NONE
Warnings: NONE
Disclaimer: I don't own it or anything.
Who I Was Before
I'm no longer the person I was before. But then that's something I should expect right? That I would change, especially after Uncle Press died. It's strange how much easier it's gotten for me to say that. For me to talk about death. After all I have seen a lot of it. The funny thing is though no matter how much you've seen it, it never stops hurting. It's like when your throat is sore and there's that constant ache whenever you swallow. And you know that it's going to hurt but there's nothing you can do about it you have to swallow.
I wish this fate had never come to me. It should be someone else's job to save Halla, not mine. I was just a kid a selfish bratty little kid. I didn't deserve it then and I don't deserve or want it now. I'm scared really, not just scared of the monsters under your bed scared but really truly bone shatteringly scared. And I've changed in irreversible ways that I wish I hadn't but I can't stop. I have this mind numbing hate inside me. The worst kind of hate, when you wish someone would not only die but that they never existed. To want that for someone, it's the lightest sentence I can think of for him.
The others they follow me now. And that responsibility it's so heavy I feel like I can't breath. Like someone put a weight on my back and it's slowly crushing me. I know their all worried about me. I can see it in their eyes like if they had said it. And I'm just so angry, at Uncle Press, Saint Daine, myself. Maybe if I'd have done something else tried harder. All these what ifs and I still can't find a why. Why did this have to happen what did I do to deserve it?
And I promise that no matter what I do no matter what happens I will kill Saint Daine. With my own two hands I'll make him feel his life drain away just like he made Uncle Press's. If it's the last thing I do, I will. And then when it's all said and done, someone else will come along to threaten Halla, and Uncle Press. Uncle Press will still be dead.
I'm no longer the person I was before. But then who is?
Okay that was from Bobby's point of view!